OMG freaking out!!!

paigeivey

i had my son December 1st 2015. I had the mirena iud put in. The strings fell out apparently (at least that's what the doctor said. I have had unprotected sex on Feb 13, 16, and 18th. My period started on the 6th or 7th and ended around the 12the 13th which means I am in the ovulation window for pregnancy. Today I noticed light spotting which I have never had prior other than when I was pregnant with DS. I called in a script for plan B but wasn't able to take it until day 4 of my most recent sexual encounter, which means it may or may not work. I am hoping that I am not pregnant with another little one because I am afraid it is too soon. My FS and I were planning on this being our one and only due to he has a son of his own and financially we are just barely making it in the area we live in on top of the child support we pay. Is there any other reason I would be spotting?? Also I am on non appropriate mess for pregnancy (300mg of lamicatal, adderall, clonazapam, and remron. I just am so worried and don't know what to do at this point the doctor is supposed to call me back but when I spoke to the OB nurse earlier she wasn't much help. Sorry for the long rant I am just confused on my next step and any advice due to I can't talk to DH about it without him freaking and possibly leaving.

cedixon2

You can spot with an IUD. I'm not sure how to answer the rest of that except to add... Did you pee on a stick? We aren't doctors.

Bombmom3

If it was just the strings you don't need to worry about it.  Since Mirena is hormonal it can cause spotting and bleeding.  Paragard since it is non-hormonal you have a higher chance of pregnancy if your IUD shifted.  

Wait two weeks and pee on a stick, but I am 99% sure you're covered.  

Addy1227

Your period is probably out of whack still. I used to get mine every 4th Thursday in the morning before my first kid. Then after I remember freaking out because for some reason it was always 1-2 weeks late every other month, I'm assuming because I ovulated late. Maybe you ovulated late, you never know! Maybe buy a test just to be sure since you're on medicine.

taysun

I've been spotting for a month with mirena after a couple days of nothing after the initial spotting with insertion. 
All you can do at this point is wait and take a test. 

LaceyH13

I am sad that you say your SO would leave if you even talk to him about this. A person can get pregnant even on birth control, and if he isn't willing to step up to his end of the deal, maybe he shouldn't be having sex at all. 

Bombmom3

I'm a little confused.  I just read your update about how you and your DH are basically just coparenting until Sept when the lease is up for your rental but that you two haven't had a physical relationship since ... (?) - no date was provided.  Then here you say you had sex less than ten days ago.  Not judging, but is this with another man and this is why DH would leave you?  

Also, IUDs cause spotting.  I have had spotting with the Paragard and I never spotted prior to this.  Really all you can do is wait and take a test if you are still concerned about pregnancy.  I'm sorry you are stressed by this. 

esscapelle

To me, this (combined with other post) screams...

RSB1982

I'm with @Bombmom3, so confused.  

Theres no point stressing now, what's done is done.   Most likely you are in the clear.  

LaceyH13

Ahhhhh, i see.

ammnam14

I thought I was in the first tri board for a second..

Wait two weeks and take a test. Good luck.

kleshelle

I'm not sure, everything's out of whack like pp have said. I'm on the pill and bleeding heavily through it my OB said for 3-4 months after having a baby you can have breakthrough bleeding and such.

amye02

I'm with @Bombmom3 your last board you were saying DH was abusive, then you fell off for almost a month leaving some of us worried about you now you pop back up with oops you might be pregnant and DH might leave you if you are? What gives? 

Knottie65841689

**removed for TOU violation**

paigeivey

He has gotten much better with the physical aspect. I just want my family together. Although we live together he made the choice just to coparent which utterly upsets me. I'm sticking around In hopes it changes. I told him I checked out women's shelters and he gave me a long speech on why that would not only ruin my life but our sons. I had my phone service shut off so I had no data to do the bump app and I am sorry for that but since DH pays the bills he can do as he pleases with my phone and wifi.mmi know it is stupid to,have had sex with him under the surrentncircumstances but I felt our relationship seemed to be getting a bit better and I found it safer to do it with someone I know and know has no diseases and such than some rando at a bar or wherever. Yall can think what you want I was just worried because I haven't had symptoms like this even with my first pregnancy. I justness to vent I viously I have to wait to take a test and I will but it still is unnerving and if it is positive I have nomcluenhiw I will be able to handle it or what my next septet would end up being... He has already stated he doesn't want more,children since he has two and I respect that but I would find  it difficult to abort or send for adoptiOn.  

paigeivey

**Removed for TOU violation**

paigeivey

**Removed for TOU violation**

esscapelle

@paigeivey I simply posted a gif with a drive by Ronald McDonald, because you seem to "drive by" with your posts then up & vanish when others commented/tried to support you. But your response to me was completely out of line. Nothing else to say to you.

paigeivey

I apologize to offend you but i have no control over not have access to Internet or data. ThAt does not make me a drive by, by any means. Some people have financial issues Wherr they don't have those luxuries. Does that mean that I am no longer able to post now that I do?? I can't help my husband shutting my cell phone service off. Not just data but my entire phone. Nor can I help that he didn't want wifi so he refused to pay that left me with no means of communication and as funny as that gif was it seemed as if you were stating I was just another drive by drop in user when I have legit reasoning that is beyond my control. @esscapelle

paigeivey

Thanks for the warning guys. Totally worth being able to say what you needed to hear!

meansallison

paigeivey said:

@Knottie65841689 believe what u want for all I care. But stfu on topics you do or do not know are real. This is very real in my life and you saying crap like that is BS. If you think it is made up then move on.  It is people like you who make people do,stupid things like hurt themselves when seeking support because you think it is make up. Go bully someone else with your miserable pathetic insults. P.S. Your life must be sad to bring someone down who is seeking advice help and needing to vent and have support. How pitiful and miserable you have to assume everyone's troubles are lies. Assume = making an ASS of U and ME. 

You say our lives are sad for putting people down but yet that is exactly what you are doing in this comment. If YOU, and I say you because we clearly don't, have problems with the advice and comments here, don't ask for opinions/help. You contradict yourself everytime you post on here. How and the hell are we supposed to know what is truth and what is BS. Your story always changes, that's why I have never commented on any of your post because I can simply not keep up. Figure out what story you want to throw at us and stick to it. 

LaceyH13

But you DO have control over your life. If is YOUR life. If you don't like the way you are being treated, stand up for yourself, and for goodness sake, don't sleep with a man who treats you poorly just because you 'don't want to sleep with some rando from a bar.' What would you think if your child grew up and such little self respect that he or she let someone treat them the way you are being treated? 

If you are looking for help online but don't have phone data or wifi at home, go to the library or Walmart or McDonalds or any one of a ton of other places where they have free wifi. You do have choices and control in your life, you just have to choose to stand up for yourself and do it.

Sorry if you think this is harsh, but sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get change, and it doesn't sound like you have many people in your real life who will give you tough love.

paigeivey

Life changes therefore the story does. K? 

blended10

OP - I'm glad you are ok. I, personally, was really worried. As for pregnancy who knows, right? But I can imagine it's really scary not knowing coupled with having zero support from your SO. 
Meanwhile you are on a pretty powerful combo of meds - just a cautionary tail - my brother was on lamictal (among others) and began having psychotic episodes. He's bi-polar 1 so it's not totally unusual for him to go off the reservation but it ended with him throwing himself out of a moving car bc of paranoid delusions- apparently a side effect of the lamictal. So I'm sure you are being carefully monitored but where you have no support & sometimes no means of communication I just worry about your mental health. Financial stuff happens - hubs & I have had our share of bringing change to the grocery store for groceries back in the day. No shame. 
Just some random stranger on the internet giving you big sister advice. 

Bombmom3

Look, seriously no judgement because I have a high sex drive but that's a lot of sex for someone who isn't interested in making things work with their husband. Unless he is forcing you or blackmailing you to have sex with him (in which case you need to call the police - it is possible for your husband to rape you), YOU are the one allowing him access to your body.  I understand dropping off the face of the planet for awhile due to financial circumstances but honestly there is a lot of conflicting information that you've given in between the two posts.  Sure, life changes, but over there you're saying you two are basically roommates and over here your saying you guys are having regular sex - WITHIN A FEW HOURS OF ONE ANOTHER ON THE SAME DAY - so, which one is it?  This is why people are confused and making judgement calls about you and your posts at this point.  

I hope, regardless of the confusion, that you and your child are in a safe place.  If not, I hope you can get into one soon.  

There is is nothing you can do if you are pregnant and it is too early to test other than wait until you can. Then you need to put on your big girl panties and figure it out what to do if you are.  

In the mean time, I would caution that if you are truly in such a volatile situation and you absolutely cannot get pregnant with your current husband to keep your legs crossed.  There is always a risk of pregnancy with birth control (even if it's minimal) - if pregnancy is not something you can handle at the moment then sex is not something you can do.  Otherwise, you roll your dice just like the rest of us and have to live with the choices you make.   

breezypip

I am concerned that, on top of everything else, your husband is leaving you and your baby with no means of communication to the outside world. That is very dangerous should you have an emergency. It is also a classic control and isolation technique. Very scary. 

pupsicle23

^^^ This. The cutoff from communication makes me very worried.

groovylocks

Is it possible that you just need to be in a relationship? So much so that you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, your self worth and your well being? Because you are better than that and deserve better than that from YOURSELF.

Things sounded REALLY bad in your last post. WAY worse than the BS I'm dealing with from my husband and I'm striking out on my own. Why not TRY being single? Why not TRY separating and see how it goes? My husband is emotionally neglectful and he's mean. There are logistics reasons why we are trying to at least make a platonic coparenting situation work for us but jesus, i'm not sleeping with him. And even if i did and we did make another baby and he decided that somehow, sex between two people that was careless between two people that resulted in a baby was somehow ALL my fault (Such a horseshit thing that loser men think) I'd call his bluff and show his sorry behind the door. 

And if you can't be strong for yourself, you need to be strong for your baby because as i recall, he was REALLY not being very nice to your baby either and that baby came into this world thinking everything was perfect. That baby has no choice other than the ones you make for her. You owe this child to be either in a happy, loving relationship or be happy and loving alone as a single mum. Seriously. You owe this child to not bring a passel of clowns and jackasses into her life. If you're married, make it to a person who treats you properly and if you're not, you need to date responsibly. She has to come first now.

Please stop having sex with somebody who treats you like garbage. ESPECIALLY if you don't want to get pregnant from it. 

YOU

DESERVE

BETTER

paigeivey

 I'm scared to say anything else with my whole situation saying as I've been reported twice because two people had put me and panic attacks last night from the words they had said. I am totally isolated in a town where I have no one. Every time I make a friend, my has been disapproves and I'm no longer  allowed to communicate with them. I just got my phone privileges back and I sure as hell don't want to lose them. I've looked into women shelters around the area but most of them are full seeing as it is a larger town.  And then it comes fast fact if I were to go into a woman shelter I would have no means of transportation no financial support and I am on the work first program through DSS but they won't allow me to work due to my  current mental issues. I haven't been cleared to be able to work and earn the financial means I need to live. Things are great before my dearest son was born but once he was born things just flip the script . 

paigeivey

I do agree I shouldn't have had sex but I am in the position where financially I can not make it without him. I am trying to convince him to let me take dental hygienist classes since that is what I want to be so inca support myself and son on my own. But with no family or friends it seems as if I have to tough it out with this situation I a in now and just pray that God will come through with something. 

paigeivey

And no I don't need to be in a relationship I would love to have some single time. just the circumstances make it really hard to live the single go out with girlfriends and worry about myself time. My child has serious Gi issues as well as severe allergies which requires a ton of medication and prescription formula which I have been working on getting covered by insurance but in the meantime just for the formula alone it is $175 for a box of 4 cans with him eating around 12 cans with me stretching it, the price is very high. The Neocate doesn't hold a baby over as well as a milk or soy based formula so they are required more frequent feedings

Mizuiro007

You've talked about wanting to go back to Arkansas to be near family, is there any chance a relative could wire you money so you and baby can get out there? Say it is a visit, look into options while you're there.

He has control, I doubt he'll give that up by giving you means of independence.

Check the manufacturer's website. Last I knew neocate has an assistance program for babies with allergies. Also be honest with the pediatrician and ask for help with samples.

ETA if he's so definite he doesn't want another baby, why hasn't he had a vasectomy?

RSB1982

You need to use your phone (while you still have it) and start making some calls.  If the local shelters are full, expand your search.  Call friends, family, wherever they may be.  You have problems that internet strangers cannot help you with.  I sincerely hope you get the help that you need, I feel for you and the situation you are in.  Most everyone on here is going to give you the same advice:  do you what you need to do to leave.  

Bombmom3

What state do you currently live in?  I have a friends who are survivors of domestic abuse who can give me information based on your state for who you need to contact if this is all happening the way you say it is.  

groovylocks

sorry too.. SON. I referred to him as "she". I forgot, apologies for that.

And i think i was unclear. I didn't mean single as in socially single There is plenty of time for that. I meant single as in "not living with somebody who restricts your rigts" single. 

So you live in a town with no support. Believe me, I understand. I have my husband. My workmates. My inlaws. That's about it so i get it. But this is not the only place on earth. If things got as scary for me as they are for you, i'd go back home. I realize custody would be an issue for you but with this kind of abuse, you'd have full rights until something could be legally determined. Surely there is someone somewhere who WOULD help if you asked. 

EDIT: If you want out but don't have the resoruces, means or support, seek help from your son's pediatrician. They are required to ensure safety of children and their mothers. A pediatrician has resources we don't. They can help!

LaceyH13

It's not okay that you think he has a right to tell you who you can talk to. That is messed up - surely you see that, right? Him paying for things doesn't give him the right to be abusive.

if you are pregnant again by some chance, him leaving doesn't negate his financial responsibility to you and your child(ren). He can leave if he wants but he still has to take financial responsibility for his children.

if you truly feel like you have nowhere to go, go to a local church - any church - and tell them you are looking to get yourself and your child away from an abusive husband. Any church will help you find resources to get out -
 no sermon required.

BrookeBrown2015

paigeivey said:

Life changes therefore the story does. K? 

THIS right there. My exact thoughts. I can't believe how mean some people are... I really hope things get better for you soon!!

Mizuiro007

BrookeBrown2015 said:

paigeivey said:

Life changes therefore the story does. K? 

THIS right there. My exact thoughts. I can't believe how mean some people are... I really hope things get better for you soon!!

I don't think people have been mean. People can only form opinions based on the information available. With limited information things easily become confused. There is a lot of drama going on in OP's life and when we just get small bits and pieces of a much larger pictures it's hard to follow. I feel that's what's happening here and people are voicing their confusion. Another thing i think happens is that sometimes when  it gets frustrating and it's easier to be skeptical than to try to piece it all together.

And I'm sorry but for OP, I know you're in a fragile state but there's not an excuse to wish harm or misfortune on others. If you got a warning it wasn't for venting.

paigeivey

My mother is trying her best to save up for a way for me to get back to arkansas but it would still require me to stay in a shelter due to no room. I live in NC at the moment. I just am worried what my next steps would be. I'm afraid to go to the pediatrician with the chance of getting DS taken away... I just hope God opens a door soon to make things easier for my family. Between DS health problems and my stupid ignorance of having sex with so many issues going on in the home I just feel at a loss. I was going to therapy twice a week and every other week medicine management but they felt I needed more intense care and reffered me to a different facility but they do t accept my insurance so my treatment has been at a standstill for a month now which makes things rougher for myself and mental state, which is why I am trying to talk it out on here in hopes it may relieve some of my panic attacks and bottled up emotions I am unable to express to DH without hearing how much he despises and hates me... I try my hardest. I keep the house spotless. I do everything for the baby he never tends to the baby during the night which is understandable since he works long hours but it would be nice if he could change a diaper or feed him so I could get things done. He says he just wants to be alone and play video games without having to tend to DS. When I tell him okay fine I will leave he goes on about how it wouldn't be best for DS and we should stay in the same home and coparent and stuff. I feel that it wouldn't make things better it would make things worse for our son seeing how he treats me and such. I don't want him to think it is okay to only think of yourself, I want him to treat his wife with respect and love. 

amye02

@paigeivey I used to have a controlling abusive Jackass of a husband. everything was in his name (car, home,  phones), I wasn't allowed to have friends I wasn't allowed to go anywhere except work. I was there. I'm really worried about you and your son. I wish you would try reaching out in real life for help, you are a victim but you can survive this man.  I don't know if you go to church but they might be able to help you.   

yummydumplin

Life can only be lived once. Make your life mean more to you. Make an effort to live and be happy. N God will take care of you. Don't be afraid to seek help n this man does NOT love you. He loves having a pet. Cause not to offend you but many pets getting more freedom n love than you are. Life can only be lived once, don't waste it.