Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
paigeivey
member
Re: OMG freaking out!!!
Wait two weeks and pee on a stick, but I am 99% sure you're covered.
All you can do at this point is wait and take a test.
Also, IUDs cause spotting. I have had spotting with the Paragard and I never spotted prior to this. Really all you can do is wait and take a test if you are still concerned about pregnancy. I'm sorry you are stressed by this.
Theres no point stressing now, what's done is done. Most likely you are in the clear.
Wait two weeks and take a test. Good luck.
If you are looking for help online but don't have phone data or wifi at home, go to the library or Walmart or McDonalds or any one of a ton of other places where they have free wifi. You do have choices and control in your life, you just have to choose to stand up for yourself and do it.
Sorry if you think this is harsh, but sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get change, and it doesn't sound like you have many people in your real life who will give you tough love.
Meanwhile you are on a pretty powerful combo of meds - just a cautionary tail - my brother was on lamictal (among others) and began having psychotic episodes. He's bi-polar 1 so it's not totally unusual for him to go off the reservation but it ended with him throwing himself out of a moving car bc of paranoid delusions- apparently a side effect of the lamictal. So I'm sure you are being carefully monitored but where you have no support & sometimes no means of communication I just worry about your mental health. Financial stuff happens - hubs & I have had our share of bringing change to the grocery store for groceries back in the day. No shame.
Just some random stranger on the internet giving you big sister advice.
I hope, regardless of the confusion, that you and your child are in a safe place. If not, I hope you can get into one soon.
There is is nothing you can do if you are pregnant and it is too early to test other than wait until you can. Then you need to put on your big girl panties and figure it out what to do if you are.
In the mean time, I would caution that if you are truly in such a volatile situation and you absolutely cannot get pregnant with your current husband to keep your legs crossed. There is always a risk of pregnancy with birth control (even if it's minimal) - if pregnancy is not something you can handle at the moment then sex is not something you can do. Otherwise, you roll your dice just like the rest of us and have to live with the choices you make.
He has control, I doubt he'll give that up by giving you means of independence.
Check the manufacturer's website. Last I knew neocate has an assistance program for babies with allergies. Also be honest with the pediatrician and ask for help with samples.
ETA if he's so definite he doesn't want another baby, why hasn't he had a vasectomy?
if you are pregnant again by some chance, him leaving doesn't negate his financial responsibility to you and your child(ren). He can leave if he wants but he still has to take financial responsibility for his children.
if you truly feel like you have nowhere to go, go to a local church - any church - and tell them you are looking to get yourself and your child away from an abusive husband. Any church will help you find resources to get out -
no sermon required.
And I'm sorry but for OP, I know you're in a fragile state but there's not an excuse to wish harm or misfortune on others. If you got a warning it wasn't for venting.