Oh sure. To be marginally more serious for a minute: I'm only going to tell the kid "yep, you sure are gonna suck at stuff!" if he's shown some talent at other things.
My feeling is that success in life is determined in large part by figuring out what you're good at -- that is, where your natural talents lie and in what spheres you can truly excel, given hard work and perseverance -- and then putting a lot of effort into those things and not worrying too much about the rest. It's a strategy that has served me well, and so it's one that I hope to pass on. Directed effort > spread-out effort every time.
The trends of parenting these days is quite frightening. There are A LOT of entitled brats out there. & ruthless a-holes if I'm honest.
This will most likely be so unpopular...but years ago I read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult (about a school shooting), and I could not help but feel for ALL involved. Shooter included.
THIS! I just don't understand how some kids are allowed to act like mini adults without adult knowledge! I have a wide age gap between me and my youngest sister and my mom has turned into a "yes ma'am" for her. Whatever she wants she gets, and it's frustrating because I see how badly my sister behaves because of it. I'm sorry but if my child wants candy at 6 am and throws a tantrum, they're definitely NOT getting the candy!
If my daughter excels at certain things I'll certainly be proud and encouraging but I plan on emphasizing effort over achievement and attitude over aptitude. I don't want her only working hard at things she's good at and quitting or putting less effort into things that don't come easily.
Thread tip of the day: Do not google "Sri Lanka Fat" on your work computer. I was trying to read more about how they perceive the word fat, but that brought up a whole bunch of bad on the google search. Whoopsies.
I saw the freezer meal thread and thought about making a few meals, but I know how much I despise left overs and I'm not sure if I'll feel like those freezer meals are left overs. I'm totally cool with preparing and freezing meals for the crockpot. I just don't think I can cook meals before (like lasagna), heat them up and be happy. I also recognize that none of this is logical. A meal should be a meal right?
I'm so with you on leftovers! I don't know why. I will say I did freezer meals with DD and it wasn't like leftovers. I don't know if it was due to the recipes or what but they tasted really fresh for me. Otherwise I wouldn't have eaten them.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I tell my students "that uncomfortable anxious feeling you're having right now because you got an answer wrong? That's called learning! Everyone feels this way! Power through it!"
My UO (or maybe this should wait for FFFC) is that I am dreading the toddler/ preschool games, activities, crappy cartoons, etc. DD is 8 so I've been trying to mentally prepare to start over. I'm excited to have a baby, and I truly think each age/ stage gets better and better. But school age has been my favorite. I'm sure I'll feel different once the baby is born and going through each stage.
Beware Caillou. He's a shit.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
This is likely to be a touchy UO but the comments on ugly babies made me think about it. I agree newborn babies are typically not the cutest and take awhile to grow into themselves, and although I know that they can't help it anymore than an "ugly" child or adult can, reality is that there will always be people who think one person or another is ugly. My SIL refuses to say the word fat around her two girls because she doesn't want to give them body image issues. This drives me NUTS. Do I think she should call her girls fat? Absolutely not. Do I think she should call herself fat in front of her girls? Again, no. But reality is, there are larger people and there are smaller people. There IS a winner and a loser. I believe in first place, second place, third place, and not placing at all. I don't like when people keep these things from their children because they are afraid of "ruining" them. These things do EXIST and they're going to face it in life when you're not there to protect them. They need to know that when they go in for their first job interview, there's a good chance they might not get offered the position; and that's ok. The world doesn't see you as perfect like mom and dad do, you're simply an individual amongst individuals in society in society's eyes. It's ok to not be good at math and science, because you're good at something that somebody else isn't; that's real life. So yes, ugly is in the eye of the beholder and to someone, somewhere, at some point in time, you're going to be seen as ugly, or stupid, or fat, or too skinny; that's real life. Teaching kids how to depend more on their own opinions of themselves is what we should be focused on, not putting them in a bubble and pretending that everyone's going to think they're perfect and fabulous and number one throughout their entire lives. I see this type of parent "protection" such as my SIL pretending the word fat doesn't exist so much today, and it drives me crazy and I simply don't understand it and never will.
I have a theory that all of the above has instilled in kids now the fear to fail. No wonder we have all these kids wanting to commit suicide! They don't know or understand how to take rejection or failure. IMO you can always tell which kids these are going to be at the park. There are so many parents inside the playground. WHY?! It's for kids! Let them play, fall, run, skin their knees, etc. A few weeks ago there was a dad at the park inside the playground (I sit on the bench outside the playground) yelling at his son who was happily playing on the large train to go play on the tire swing bc it looked fun. WTF. Leave those dang kids alone!
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I tell my students "that uncomfortable anxious feeling you're having right now because you got an answer wrong? That's called learning! Everyone feels this way! Power through it!"
THIS!!! Everything about this!!! Can I use steal it? I'd also like to use it to describe change. That uncomfortable feeling comes along with change and in order to grow change has to happen.
Side rant: Unfortunately a good chunk of the country hates learning and change.... Mostly because it would force them to have and sit with that uncomfortable anxious moment. Don't believe me? "Make America Great AGAIN" (don't learn from the past... don't change for the future... instead regress)
I was coming to say that I don't know if this is an UO or not, but I was a bit disappointed in Taco Bell's new Quesalupa. I expected it to be more cheesy. I guess they built it up too much.
My UO (or maybe this should wait for FFFC) is that I am dreading the toddler/ preschool games, activities, crappy cartoons, etc. DD is 8 so I've been trying to mentally prepare to start over. I'm excited to have a baby, and I truly think each age/ stage gets better and better. But school age has been my favorite. I'm sure I'll feel different once the baby is born and going through each stage.
Beware Caillou. He's a shit.
Yes! Just as I was coming in the door today, an episode of this was starting and my mom asked me, "What is this show? Would [DS] like it?" I turned it off as fast as I could manage!
@Charla1224 yes! Steal away! If you wanna get real fancy, there's an education theory called the zone of proximal development- basically a little anxiety is good and helps us learn, and everyone has a zone where they can learn in an anxious state. Too much and were overloaded, too little and we aren't properly challenged.
Haha@lalala2004, I'll share an Un deep UO. I love twilight. Just love the shit out of those movies!
I dislike the homeless people I have to deal with at my job. These aren't the homeless people who have just had a string of bad luck and are trying to get jobs/homes/etc, these are the groups of homeless people who think the rules don't apply to them so they shouldn't have to follow them. I'm sorry, when I have to come out of my office to remind you 3 times in 5 minutes that you are in a no-talking, quiet study zone and you say "You know" each time- clearly you don't because YOU KEEP TALKING. So today I would say my UO is I dislike certain homeless people.
You work in a library, right? I kind of get that because my chosen field is also within the realm of library science (don't have my Master's yet, but yay fellow library person!). At my library, it's usually somewhat noisy to begin with - we are not the stereotypical super quiet library most people expect (though we do tell disruptive patrons to keep it down) - but our situation is that there are certain members of the homeless community who come in just to sleep. We understand that they need someplace to go during the day, and we are perfectly fine with them being there - as long as they are reading something/on the computers/actually using the library/etc. But we don't allow our patrons to sleep in the library (homeless or otherwise) because then they are taking up space that can't be used by someone who may actually want to use it for reading/studying. It's a pretty busy location, in a single branch system with limited desk space. We will do everything we can to help you out with your situation - we have free job search resources, GED classes, and all kinds of up-to-date books to help you learn whatever you need to know to work your way up and out - but we are not a shelter, y'know?
This is likely to be a touchy UO but the comments on ugly babies made me think about it. I agree newborn babies are typically not the cutest and take awhile to grow into themselves, and although I know that they can't help it anymore than an "ugly" child or adult can, reality is that there will always be people who think one person or another is ugly. My SIL refuses to say the word fat around her two girls because she doesn't want to give them body image issues. This drives me NUTS. Do I think she should call her girls fat? Absolutely not. Do I think she should call herself fat in front of her girls? Again, no. But reality is, there are larger people and there are smaller people. There IS a winner and a loser. I believe in first place, second place, third place, and not placing at all. I don't like when people keep these things from their children because they are afraid of "ruining" them. These things do EXIST and they're going to face it in life when you're not there to protect them. They need to know that when they go in for their first job interview, there's a good chance they might not get offered the position; and that's ok. The world doesn't see you as perfect like mom and dad do, you're simply an individual amongst individuals in society in society's eyes. It's ok to not be good at math and science, because you're good at something that somebody else isn't; that's real life. So yes, ugly is in the eye of the beholder and to someone, somewhere, at some point in time, you're going to be seen as ugly, or stupid, or fat, or too skinny; that's real life. Teaching kids how to depend more on their own opinions of themselves is what we should be focused on, not putting them in a bubble and pretending that everyone's going to think they're perfect and fabulous and number one throughout their entire lives. I see this type of parent "protection" such as my SIL pretending the word fat doesn't exist so much today, and it drives me crazy and I simply don't understand it and never will.
I have a theory that all of the above has instilled in kids now the fear to fail. No wonder we have all these kids wanting to commit suicide! They don't know or understand how to take rejection or failure. IMO you can always tell which kids these are going to be at the park. There are so many parents inside the playground. WHY?! It's for kids! Let them play, fall, run, skin their knees, etc. A few weeks ago there was a dad at the park inside the playground (I sit on the bench outside the playground) yelling at his son who was happily playing on the large train to go play on the tire swing bc it looked fun. WTF. Leave those dang kids alone!
QBF
YES!!!!!! There is one mom at my daughter's school who stands by the playground fence and gets involved in the kids' playtime at recesses. She's even called teachers over to tattle on other children!! And guess who the biggest bully is? Her kid.
Oooh if you work in a library then suddenly that makes so much more sense to me.
I had a friend who worked in a big public library and some of the stories he told me were just jaw-dropping. Like people coming in to look at porn on the library computers just right there, in plain view of the other patrons and kids and everything. Apparently it was an everyday thing, not unusual in the slightest. And yeah, some of the "patrons" would get super irate when the library employees tried to get them to knock it off.
I dislike the homeless people I have to deal with at my job. These aren't the homeless people who have just had a string of bad luck and are trying to get jobs/homes/etc, these are the groups of homeless people who think the rules don't apply to them so they shouldn't have to follow them. I'm sorry, when I have to come out of my office to remind you 3 times in 5 minutes that you are in a no-talking, quiet study zone and you say "You know" each time- clearly you don't because YOU KEEP TALKING. So today I would say my UO is I dislike certain homeless people.
You work in a library, right? I kind of get that because my chosen field is also within the realm of library science (don't have my Master's yet, but yay fellow library person!). At my library, it's usually somewhat noisy to begin with - we are not the stereotypical super quiet library most people expect (though we do tell disruptive patrons to keep it down) - but our situation is that there are certain members of the homeless community who come in just to sleep. We understand that they need someplace to go during the day, and we are perfectly fine with them being there - as long as they are reading something/on the computers/actually using the library/etc. But we don't allow our patrons to sleep in the library (homeless or otherwise) because then they are taking up space that can't be used by someone who may actually want to use it for reading/studying. It's a pretty busy location, in a single branch system with limited desk space. We will do everything we can to help you out with your situation - we have free job search resources, GED classes, and all kinds of up-to-date books to help you learn whatever you need to know to work your way up and out - but we are not a shelter, y'know?
Yes I do, yay library people! We have the same issue, but our local shelter ends up dropping them off in front of the library during the day because they are only open at night. We don't let them sleep but we've had so many issues with them. We have to unlock the bathroom for them because we had a homeless prostitute serving her johns in the bathroom, druggies shooting up, etc .... and I work on the children's floor. The previous director was very much a "we have to let them get away with more because they are homeless" but luckily our new director has more of the "aw hell no" perspective.
Oooh if you work in a library then suddenly that makes so much more sense to me.
I had a friend who worked in a big public library and some of the stories he told me were just jaw-dropping. Like people coming in to look at porn on the library computers just right there, in plain view of the other patrons and kids and everything. Apparently it was an everyday thing, not unusual in the slightest. And yeah, some of the "patrons" would get super irate when the library employees tried to get them to knock it off.
Oh yea, this is a regular occurrence- luckily we can, and do, ban them for that. We also get drug use, prostitutes, people getting drunk, etc. We actually found some growlers hidden in the stacks one day. Completely empty, but obviously someone decided they needed to get drunk RIGHT AWAY. My favorite (sarcasm) was the guy who peed on the wall outside our office because he was convinced we were "hiding a bathroom" from him. Yea... cuz that's how bathrooms work..
@merciel I've heard about that being an issue in bigger libraries! I don't know if this is actually true or not, but according to my instructor from a reference class I took, it got so bad in NYC that one of the branches now offers adult materials for checkout just so the patrons will take it home instead of looking at it on the computers at the library. I might be wrong about that though - maybe it was Boston or Philly or Pittsburgh? Definitely one of the big cities with multiple branches in that area. Pretty sure it was NYC, though.
I don't work in media (our term for the computer area), so I haven't caught anything like that, and from what I've heard it's only something that happens every once in awhile out here. We have had situations with people getting drunk/high in the bathrooms, creepy patrons being creepy in the stacks (I really, really hated this when I was a shelver), people leaving their kids in the children's area and going off to do their own thing (seriously, people, the library isn't much better than a park - we are busy and not your babysitters and can't always tell what kid belongs to which parent - just don't do it), patrons flipping out because they owe fines, and I don't even want to tell you about some of the things we've found in the book drop.
I mean, I love working in a library and helping people out, because 99% of our patrons are actually really awesome. But yeah, weird/crazy stuff does happen. :P
Oooh another library person here... I've worked at a couple branches, not our main location, but our main location has had a LOT of homeless problems. Drinking, sleeping, drug deals in the bathroom, "showering" in the bathroom... and I'm sure there's more. The thing is, the city opened up a day shelter nearby last winter, but when I've asked coworkers who work downtown they've all said it hasn't really done much to help, unfortunately.
@bookelf221 We actually had an after-hours all staff meeting with the city manager and local police liaison because of this stuff. It's not like things are super crazy on a daily basis - most days pass without incident and most of our patrons are actually pretty great - but last year one person actually got violent with a staff member over like a $2 fine and after that we basically had a class in recognizing dangerous behavior and learning to report everything, no matter how small of an incident it might seem. Turned out that a lot of stuff we were dismissing because it didn't seem like a big enough deal at the time was actually more important than we thought. It was nice to know to know that the city had our backs.
@bookelf221 We actually had an after-hours all staff meeting with the city manager and local police liaison because of this stuff. It's not like things are super crazy on a daily basis - most days pass without incident and most of our patrons are actually pretty great - but last year one person actually got violent with a staff member over like a $2 fine and after that we basically had a class in recognizing dangerous behavior and learning to report everything, no matter how small of an incident it might seem. Turned out that a lot of stuff we were dismissing because it didn't seem like a big enough deal at the time was actually more important than we thought. It was nice to know to know that the city had our backs.
@MrsKtobe09 Yay for after hours meetings. Yea some of the crazy stuff doesn't happen every day- we do have fights outside weekly and the loitering got so bad the police told our admin they had to adjust their policy to stop it because it was becoming a safety issue- but to my knowledge nothing was every done. Luckily I'm switching to another branch in March so I won't have to deal with my current branches issues much longer- but I'm sure I'll get a whole new set.
@bookelf221 what, you don't hide bathrooms? I swear since being pregnant, more and more places are "hiding the bathroom" from me, causing some really close calls!!
I was coming to say that I don't know if this is an UO or not, but I was a bit disappointed in Taco Bell's new Quesalupa. I expected it to be more cheesy. I guess they built it up too much.
Aww Really?! I've been wanting to try it. Good to know.
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I have a theory that all of the above has instilled in kids now the fear to fail. No wonder we have all these kids wanting to commit suicide! They don't know or understand how to take rejection or failure. IMO you can always tell which kids these are going to be at the park. There are so many parents inside the playground. WHY?! It's for kids! Let them play, fall, run, skin their knees, etc. A few weeks ago there was a dad at the park inside the playground (I sit on the bench outside the playground) yelling at his son who was happily playing on the large train to go play on the tire swing bc it looked fun. WTF. Leave those dang kids alone!
I agree that some of the most memorable moments from my childhood - or ones I still think about - are some of my failures. I am a staunch believer that you can learn the most from failing. I didn't make the Highschool Field Hockey Team. I was sad because I really enjoyed playing, and I felt like I could get a lot better with more practice. I missed the tryout due to a family vacation, and I didn't make the team, even though I wouldn't have been the worst one on the team. Lessons Learned: Life is not fair and sometimes you fail.
Mama to Three Girls: Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
Re: UO Thursday 2.18
My feeling is that success in life is determined in large part by figuring out what you're good at -- that is, where your natural talents lie and in what spheres you can truly excel, given hard work and perseverance -- and then putting a lot of effort into those things and not worrying too much about the rest. It's a strategy that has served me well, and so it's one that I hope to pass on. Directed effort > spread-out effort every time.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
That uncomfortable feeling comes along with change and in order to grow change has to happen.
Side rant: Unfortunately a good chunk of the country hates learning and change.... Mostly because it would force them to have and sit with that uncomfortable anxious moment. Don't believe me? "Make America Great AGAIN" (don't learn from the past... don't change for the future... instead regress)
DD: 05/14/16
I was coming to say that I don't know if this is an UO or not, but I was a bit disappointed in Taco Bell's new Quesalupa. I expected it to be more cheesy. I guess they built it up too much.
I had a friend who worked in a big public library and some of the stories he told me were just jaw-dropping. Like people coming in to look at porn on the library computers just right there, in plain view of the other patrons and kids and everything. Apparently it was an everyday thing, not unusual in the slightest. And yeah, some of the "patrons" would get super irate when the library employees tried to get them to knock it off.
Oh yea, this is a regular occurrence- luckily we can, and do, ban them for that. We also get drug use, prostitutes, people getting drunk, etc. We actually found some growlers hidden in the stacks one day. Completely empty, but obviously someone decided they needed to get drunk RIGHT AWAY. My favorite (sarcasm) was the guy who peed on the wall outside our office because he was convinced we were "hiding a bathroom" from him. Yea... cuz that's how bathrooms work..
I don't work in media (our term for the computer area), so I haven't caught anything like that, and from what I've heard it's only something that happens every once in awhile out here. We have had situations with people getting drunk/high in the bathrooms, creepy patrons being creepy in the stacks (I really, really hated this when I was a shelver), people leaving their kids in the children's area and going off to do their own thing (seriously, people, the library isn't much better than a park - we are busy and not your babysitters and can't always tell what kid belongs to which parent - just don't do it), patrons flipping out because they owe fines, and I don't even want to tell you about some of the things we've found in the book drop.
I mean, I love working in a library and helping people out, because 99% of our patrons are actually really awesome. But yeah, weird/crazy stuff does happen. :P
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I agree that some of the most memorable moments from my childhood - or ones I still think about - are some of my failures. I am a staunch believer that you can learn the most from failing.
I didn't make the Highschool Field Hockey Team. I was sad because I really enjoyed playing, and I felt like I could get a lot better with more practice. I missed the tryout due to a family vacation, and I didn't make the team, even though I wouldn't have been the worst one on the team.
Lessons Learned: Life is not fair and sometimes you fail.
Mama to Three Girls:
Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor
and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!