I will not be going back to BC - I am unable to take hormonal bc due to a clotting disorder and I didn't like any of the alternatives. If we are blessed with baby #2, I will be getting my tubes tied after delivery as we are confident that would be it for us.
I was on Yasmin for 9 years straight. It was fine but I always suspected that it had killed my libido... and I was right. When I dropped it last year I was like a teenager again!
My periods are way shorter and lighter than before (lighter even than when I was on the bc), monster cramps have come back, and it took about 4-5 months for my hormones to even out. But my acne is actually worse than when I was 21. I feel really really lucky that my period came back right away. I'm worried about what a thinner lining is doing for my chances at pregnancy. All this is to say I will never take hormonal anything again unless there are no other alternative medications for that issue/problem and I have thoroughly researched it. And I will encourage my daughter(s) to stick with non-hormonal contraception.
Like a lot of others, I'm feeling bitter because apparently I didn't need it for all those years (and now I'm worried about what issue(s) it might have been masking and its effects on my current chances for pregnancy).
Me: 36 | DH 35, Married 2007
TTC #1 June 2015 April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal June 2016 - HSG clear *TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16 BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17 DS - 12/9/17 TTC #2 December 2018 BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19 DD - 11/1/19 My Chart
TFAS here. I had Paragard after DS was born, and I didn't love it. I has some breakthrough bleeding. Yaz helped control my PCOS symptoms. If and when we have a successful pregnancy, I would probably consider Yaz afterward ...or, if we decide we're done, snip, snip for DH.
I'm honestly not sure. We are hoping to have two LOs (but I would be happy just to be able to have one at this point!). I don't think I would take any in between the first and second kid because of how much it messes with me. It's not something I want to experience again. ***Poss TMI*** Birth control background. I was on several different kinds through the years (since I was 15), but it slowly started causing vaginal dryness and frail/fragile skin. It got worse and worse over the years (two different OBGYNs didn't realize how bad it was and shrugged it off). It would cause major bleeding during sex or even foreplay. Not just a little bleeding, but the "stop what you're doing, dark red blood pooling out" kind of blood. It was so painful. The last couple months of taking it, just foreplay would cause it (serious tearing caused by one finger... ugh). We were only able to have sex once every couple months, and normally it wasn't okay. That was hard because I was a very sexual person. I know that's super TMI, but I could get a lot more in detail but stopped here. Anyway, I don't want that again. I almost needed stitches a few times and the doc was also scared a few time about losing too much blood. Ugh.
TTGP February Siggy Challenge
creepy Easter bunny coming as soon as I can look at the screen more than 30 min at a time.
Me: 28
DH: 29
Married: October 2012
TTC #1 since September 2015
Clomid round 1 starting: 4FEB2016 = No ovulation Clomid round 2 starting: TBD... whenever AF decides to show up, or I have to take Provera again
I was on Yasmin for 9 years straight. It was fine but I always suspected that it had killed my libido... and I was right. When I dropped it last year I was like a teenager again!
My periods are way shorter and lighter than before (lighter even than when I was on the bc), monster cramps have come back, and it took about 4-5 months for my hormones to even out. But my acne is actually worse than when I was 21. I feel really really lucky that my period came back right away. I'm worried about what a thinner lining is doing for my chances at pregnancy. All this is to say I will never take hormonal anything again unless there are no other alternative medications for that issue/problem and I have thoroughly researched it. And I will encourage my daughter(s) to stick with non-hormonal contraception.
Like a lot of others, I'm feeling bitter because apparently I didn't need it for all those years (and now I'm worried about what issue(s) it might have been masking and its effects on my current chances for pregnancy).
I completely agree about the libido issue! I always just thought "eh, I could take it or leave it" after a while of being on BCP's and once I came off of them it has fully returned! And H is in full support of no hormonal BC ever again now ha!
Never again... I was on the Nuva ring (hormone based BC) for a year, and I hated how it made me feel; irritable, no sex drive, depressed... it was the worst. We switched to a barrier method after that. Seeing how long TTC is taking, we're considering throwing away the barrier method all together as well, and just using FAM for future baby spacing - IF we ever do get pregnant..
Me 34 DH 36 Married since July 2010 MFI (High DNA Fragmentation) & Mild endometriosis
TTC #1 since June 2015 Aug 2016 - May 2017 6 IUI's with letrozole - BFN April 2017 - laparoscopy to remove mild endo June 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU - Cancelled early ovulation, no eggs retrieved. Aug/Sept 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU, cetrotide - 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature 5 eggs ICSI'd 6 eggs frozen - 1 day 5 blast transfered, 2 expanded blast frozen - BFP! May 2018 - Baby girl born - Our Joy
TTC #2 since July 2019 July 2019 - FET - BFN Jan 2020 - FET - canceled due to family health issues Mar 2020 - FET - low beta - chemical pregnancy July 2020 - ICSI'd remaining 6 eggs - 3 fertilized - 2 survived to early blast stage, transfered both - Chemical Pregnancy
Edit: TLDR - I would rather do the FAM, but hubby is convinced we need to use hormonal BC while we're TTA. I keep forgetting the pill, and hate not having a sex drive.
I hate the BCP. Hate it. I hated it when I took it for one cycle after hubby and I first started dating (which was when I also became sexually active and started using BC). I had constant spotting throughout the cycle, and was always nauseous, which freaked me out. And then I went on Depo, and that honestly was not bad for the first year. I had no breakthrough bleeding, I was 100% normal except for my lack of periods. I wanted to switch to Nexplanon from that because we knew it'd be years before we TTC. I had to take one cycle of BCP again between the Depo and the Nexplanon. I bled the entire time. On Nexplanon, I had no breakthrough bleeding, I had a normal (even heightened) sex drive, everything was normal, just no periods again. Now that I'm back on BCP, I keep forgetting to take the pill, or get my new prescription (like this month... apparently I haven't taken it since Monday? I had no idea...). I would love to try the FAM, but hubby does not think we'd be successful. I just... ugh. I'm not doing well with the pill, and my sex drive is gone, and I just really would like to stop it, but any attempts to convince hubby have been futile. Honestly, temping and charting and tracking my CM would be a lot easier than remembering to take the pill. It doesn't seem like it would, but that's like, what... an extra minute before I get out of bed? 30 seconds once I'm in the bathroom? Another 30 seconds for charting it all? I can chart and check CM anywhere - home, school, work. But, my hours are so psycho right now that I have a hard time remembering to take the pill every night.
@FiancB I feel you on the nexplanon bleeding. 2 and a half weeks out of every month pretty much. I gave up after about 9 months.
Yessss. I mostly spotted, but it was weird and icky and gross compared to regular spotting. I spotted almost constantly, I'd get a period probably about every 3 weeks, and once in a while I'd get a break.
This is gross/TMI, but the constant bleeding also threw off my pH and every once in a while, well, all I have to say about that is: fish taco.
In retrospect I probably should have tried a progesterone-only pill first to see how I'd do on that. But I had done well on multiple other BCPs (basically whatever my school or Planned Parenthood was able to throw at me for cheap), so I thought it would be fine.
I've heard of the theory of semen having some mood boosting qualities, but I don't see how a vasectomy would affect that. The semen should be exactly the same, just minus sperm, no? Off to read the article. I think considering it an actual antidepressant is a giant stretch, but whatever.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
I might, even though it seems I don't actually need BC to not get KU. I am TFAS (DS is 7 so it's been a while) and during the time I was on, I took Seasonale, so I only had my period every 3 months, which was awesome. I'm still not too into this every four weeks thing. We will probably be done after one more baby (if that happens) so I'm not as concerned about how it would affect TTC after coming off again.
DS: June 2008 Married: July 2015 BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
Agree with most here, especially you @MamaMunn regarding education about and around BC. I started BCP at 16 when my 1st BF & I were considering sex & I wanted to be safe/protected. I remained on BC (the pill through HS, the patch thru college & finally the ring thru grad school & after) for about 15 years total- with a bit of time off here & there.
I've said it before, but it's just funny (as in....laugh/crying funny) how you spend half of your young life trying to NOT get KTFU & not being educated enough around how it could effect your TTC efforts later in life & when you finally find "the one" and you're both ready & you can't freaking wait to get GTFU & you can't. I have no idea if my body is messed up from BCP or not but I know that it's been a year (we're in the middle of switching insurance providers then I'm looking for a new ObGYN & getting that RE referral!!) and we're seemingly young/healthy & not PG so something is up somewhere.
Not to digress, but you ladies are such an amazing support system. Don't get me wrong, my DH is lovely & super supportive- this morning he was like how's it going in WTO this week & he said "WTO"! Love him to bits. But I'm so thankful to have this community as well, for those times you just want to laugh or cry or rant & your "non-internet friends" are all pregnant or fertile as hell & refuse to believe you could have any issues whatsoever with fertility.
ME: 31 | DH: 31
Married: April 2015
TTC (BBT & FF) #1: April 2015 (Off BC: January 2015)
This was a is a tough one for me to answer and one I've been thinking about on and off since getting off my HBC back in October. I don't want to get back on it because, well, it's hormone based lol and we all know what that can entail but at the same time once God Blesses us with #2 we'd like to be done TTC. I'm 35 now and at this rate will be 36 when #2 arrives so I'm torn because DH hates condoms and I'd like to research the IUD more, as well as other options. Anyway, ideally I'd like DH to get a Vasectomy but we'd both like to do more research on that as well. We know a few individuals who have gotten it done with no complications and/or negative results but still want to research it ourselves, in depth.
I tried several different pills and they all turned me into a crazy person, so I never took them more than a month. I was a strict condom girl, never went without them until my husband. After we are done, we'll likely go the vasectomy route if needed.
I don't think I'll ever need any form of BC again thanks to my poor hubby likely having MFI.
I was on BCP for about 8-9 years and was always fine with it. Nice regular periods, good skin, ability to skip a period if need be. All was well until I was 25-26ish and I started getting regular breakthrough bleeding, but even that wasn't too big of a deal. I suspected it lowered my libido too, but I can't be sure of that. Anyway, I decided to go off about a year after getting married to resolve those issues and have been temping ever since. I regulated fairly quickly, even though my LP can be a little short. I love temping and have learned so much.
I don't see why I would ever go back on any form of BC. I used to say that after we had our kids he would get snipped, but that's not happening now. I don't know if we will ever get pregnant naturally, so although I'm not really a religious person, it would just feel wrong to me to do anything to prevent it in the future.
This is such an interesting topic, I think. I always hear the line the BCP is empowering women, but then I talk to people TTC and it makes me wonder.
I was on BCPs for a couple years, at first to control my out of control periods, then for BC. I came off a few years ago because I didn't feel good on them and they were a monthly cost I didn't need - I had to take a more expensive one, didn't have insurance, and this was before the ACA. Anywho, I will never go back. I love tracking my cycles and knowing what's going on in there. I also love not gaining weight and not having morning sickness (it made me puke when I smelled certain perfumes, fresh ground coffee, etc). Hubs and I want to just NTNP after baby #1 until we are ready for #2.
I pushed for an IUD with H because I didn't want to think about BC. It was great for not dealing with the pill on rotating day/night shift and I just don't like condoms. We'll likely do FAM between kids and vasectomy when we're through TTC.
Regarding the theory of mood boosting semen, wouldn't regular condom use have the same result as a vasectomy?
me . late 30's | h . early 40's | < 3 . 2013
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018 mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019 RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019 surprise BFP . aug 2019 DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023 ttc #3 . feb 2023 mmc . apr 2023 mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024 dx elevated nk cells tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025 BFP . mar 2025
@virginiaham In the original study they found women who used barrier methods had significantly higher depression rates than women who didn't. Women who didn't use barrier methods would get depressed the longer it had been since they were exposed to semen. So regular semen exposure = less depression.
@virginiaham In the original study they found women who used barrier methods had significantly higher depression rates than women who didn't. Women who didn't use barrier methods would get depressed the longer it had been since they were exposed to semen. So regular semen exposure = less depression.
I wonder, though, if that has more to do with being in a long term and committed relationship? I dislike barrier methods, but used them until I felt I was in a committed enough relationship to just use BCPs and thus remove protection from STDs.
ETA: I see they kind of address that in the second article. I'd like to see the data, though. I also wonder if BCPs decrease the risk of depression in some women (obviously increases it in others according to stories in this thread, but it can go either way), especially those that may be suffering from PMDD and not realize it.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
This is such an interesting topic, I think. I always hear the line the BCP is empowering women, but then I talk to people TTC and it makes me wonder.
I was on BCPs for a couple years, at first to control my out of control periods, then for BC. I came off a few years ago because I didn't feel good on them and they were a monthly cost I didn't need - I had to take a more expensive one, didn't have insurance, and this was before the ACA. Anywho, I will never go back. I love tracking my cycles and knowing what's going on in there. I also love not gaining weight and not having morning sickness (it made me puke when I smelled certain perfumes, fresh ground coffee, etc). Hubs and I want to just NTNP after baby #1 until we are ready for #2.
BCP give women reproductive control with a very small risk or pregnancy compared to methods like condoms (requires consent of the male partner) or NFP/FAM which involve abstaining, condoms, and greater potential for error. Many women come off the pill and have no problems getting pregnant. I do think that there is a skewed perspective here on TTGP, because I would suspect many women came here when they weren't getting pregnant right away. Personally, I didn't join the community until after my third or fourth failed cycle and I suspected I had an LP problem. If I had gotten pregnant in cycles 1-4 I would have skipped joining TTGP and went straight to a BMB.
@khbear Interesting point on the empowering women topic. I definitely feel more empowered now, with temping/charting and having learned all this stuff about my body, than I did when I was on birth control. And if I wasn't TTC, it would still allow me to have sex without worrying about getting pregnant.
@britters314@LadyMillil I did not mean to make it seem that I think BCP is the anti-feminism evil. What I meant, but just breezed over, is now that I am TTC and learning more about my cycle, I feel more capable and in control of my reproductive decisions. I feel that sometimes any type of BC method is used by clinicians as a bandaid - oh you shouldn't have a baby right now, here have a pill/condom/whatever. Each woman's circumstances for trying to avoid or trying to conceive are different, and the different methods for different needs.
So, my end point was more that I am becoming concerned that it's just become a fix-all, and is often handed out to patients without much proper education about whatever method they are given. That worries me, because it feels like a "well you don't need that information, you're just a teenager/woman/patient/whatever."
I've been on BC for the majority of my life and anytime I'm not on BC I can feel the extremes of my hormone fluctuations. There are days when I can't stand to be touched I'm so on edge. I remember my mom had the same issue when she was near my age, she had a hysterectomy shortly after.
I had the best skin on BCPs, but that's the only good thing I can say for them. It is a struggle getting used to being on them, and getting used to being off them, though.
At the moment, I only plan to go back on when I'm getting ready for my next IVF (and any FET/IVF after that). On and off, on and off, on and off, the worst of all worlds.
I was on them for ovarian cysts, which don't appear to be a problem any more. I'm not likely to go back on them when this is all over, since they aggravate my IBS, and I'm gay anyway.
Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
TTC with frozen donor sperm and science
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs. 2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs. Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire. Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus! fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
I miss being able to know exactly when I was going to get AF, and the pill definitely helped with endo pain but I don't think I'll ever go back on it. We also hate condoms though so I will have to look into alternatives when the time comes.
I've never been on BCP and I've always used condoms. I was sexually active before I met DH, but not very much. He was my first long term relationship and he had always used condoms as well so we just stuck with that, even after we got married.
As far as what we'll do later, I haven't really thought about it. We probably won't even bother with it since its been over 2 years with nothing happening. I don't really want to waste my money.
adding: i answered "never have/never will" because if we do use BC it'll be condoms I'm sure.
Me:27 DH: 28 Married May 2012 TTC#1 July 2013 - July 2015 (no success) Again TTC#1: Dec 2015 First RE visit: Feb 2016 BFP: 9/16/16 EDD:5/26/17
I had used the pill for about 9 years. I tried the shot for a little while just to see if I could get away with not having to take a pill every day. It was a HUGE mistake for me. I never regulated on the shot. I didn't have a period for the first 3 months (which is common), but then I spotted constantly for the next 6 (which I've been told is also common?). I never understood what made my body switch gears like that. I gained 20 pounds on it that I just could not lose, and I was eating healthy and exercising. It made me weigh the most I've ever weighed in my life, and it took a toll on me emotionally. I was extremely irritable. When I finally got that mess out of my system, I went back to the pill.
As many of you ladies have mentioned, I really had no idea what to expect when it came time to come off of the pills. I hate feeling misinformed, but I blame myself a bit because I do try to ask appropriate questions while at the doctor's office. But 17 year old me trying to regulate my cycle and prevent pregnancy didn't think about it.
I hope that when the time comes for us to start preventing again, I'm able to stay away from hormonal BC. I think that when we are done having children, DH is open to the idea of a vasectomy. We don't mind using condoms, but we would prefer not to. I'm not sure what my best choice will be, but I feel a little more empowered now that I have more facts in front of me and questions to ask.
I absolutely will use HBC again. I want a baby soon for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that as soon as I have a baby, I can finally go back on the pill.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
I've been on BC for the majority of my life and anytime I'm not on BC I can feel the extremes of my hormone fluctuations. There are days when I can't stand to be touched I'm so on edge. I remember my mom had the same issue when she was near my age, she had a hysterectomy shortly after.
Maybe I should talk to a doctor ...
I meant to ask you after your original post what your reasons were! Definitely don't think you're crazy, it's very interesting how every "body" is different. And if I felt that on edge while not being on BC, I would definitely want to go back on it! And also you're pretty much the gif queen - I always appreciate them being added to the conversation
I absolutely will use HBC again. I want a baby soon for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that as soon as I have a baby, I can finally go back on the pill.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
Edit: spelling
FAM is meant to be a good form of TTA for people with regular or irregular cycles. The rhythm method is what doesn't work. If you follow all of the rules it's supposed to be just as effective as whatever barrier method you use during your fertile time (so about 98% effective if you use condoms).
I've been on BC for the majority of my life and anytime I'm not on BC I can feel the extremes of my hormone fluctuations. There are days when I can't stand to be touched I'm so on edge. I remember my mom had the same issue when she was near my age, she had a hysterectomy shortly after.
Maybe I should talk to a doctor ...
I meant to ask you after your original post what your reasons were! Definitely don't think you're crazy, it's very interesting how every "body" is different. And if I felt that on edge while not being on BC, I would definitely want to go back on it! And also you're pretty much the gif queen - I always appreciate them being added to the conversation
Lol, a good gif is like the period at the end of a sentence.
Of course I can't find a gif appropriate for this one
Never, ever going back on hormonal BC. It destroyed my libido. I knew something was wrong when I would be spending time with H and he was doing all the right things...my brain knew how I was supposed to feel and how I wanted to feel but I felt NOTHING. Terrible. I read TCOYF, ditched the pill and finally felt like myself again! We use condoms when we're TTA. They suck so much but they work for us.
I absolutely will use HBC again. I want a baby soon for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that as soon as I have a baby, I can finally go back on the pill.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
Edit: spelling
FAM is meant to be a good form of TTA for people with regular or irregular cycles. The rhythm method is what doesn't work. If you follow all of the rules it's supposed to be just as effective as whatever barrier method you use during your fertile time (so about 98% effective if you use condoms)
***QBF***trapped here***
I'm not convinced those statistics are accurate. I'm also not sure how feasible it really is to follow all the rules every single cycle to get that alleged 98% success rate. If you get sick or busy and forget to check CM one day while TTC, maybe you miss your FW that cycle. Do the same while TTA, and maybe you have a baby you're not prepared for.
Even if those statistics are accurate, FAM for me would require me to use condoms for the majority of my cycle. My last cycle I started having possibly fertile CM on day ~14. I ovulated on day 38. Condoms for 3-4 weeks every cycle? No thanks.
Finally, the thought of temping every day for the rest of my fertile years sounds absolutely godawful.
I absolutely will use HBC again. I want a baby soon for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that as soon as I have a baby, I can finally go back on the pill.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
Edit: spelling
FAM is meant to be a good form of TTA for people with regular or irregular cycles. The rhythm method is what doesn't work. If you follow all of the rules it's supposed to be just as effective as whatever barrier method you use during your fertile time (so about 98% effective if you use condoms)
***QBF***trapped here***
I'm not convinced those statistics are accurate. I'm also not sure how feasible it really is to follow all the rules every single cycle to get that alleged 98% success rate. If you get sick or busy and forget to check CM one day while TTC, maybe you miss your FW that cycle. Do the same while TTA, and maybe you have a baby you're not prepared for.
Even if those statistics are accurate, FAM for me would require me to use condoms for the majority of my cycle. My last cycle I started having possibly fertile CM on day ~14. I ovulated on day 38. Condoms for 3-4 weeks every cycle? No thanks.
Finally, the thought of temping every day for the rest of my fertile years sounds absolutely godawful.
The 98% rate is with following all of the rules. If you aren't following the rules then you aren't *really* using FAM. (As said in TCOYF, it's like saying you use condoms, but leaving it in the drawer one night.) Obviously it isn't something everyone wants to do and it's perfectly fine if you don't want to, but just for anyone else with irregular cycles that's considering FAM: if you follow all the rules it doesn't require you to have regular cycles to be reliable.
I absolutely will use HBC again. I want a baby soon for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that as soon as I have a baby, I can finally go back on the pill.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
Edit: spelling
FAM is meant to be a good form of TTA for people with regular or irregular cycles. The rhythm method is what doesn't work. If you follow all of the rules it's supposed to be just as effective as whatever barrier method you use during your fertile time (so about 98% effective if you use condoms)
***QBF***trapped here***
I'm not convinced those statistics are accurate. I'm also not sure how feasible it really is to follow all the rules every single cycle to get that alleged 98% success rate. If you get sick or busy and forget to check CM one day while TTC, maybe you miss your FW that cycle. Do the same while TTA, and maybe you have a baby you're not prepared for.
Even if those statistics are accurate, FAM for me would require me to use condoms for the majority of my cycle. My last cycle I started having possibly fertile CM on day ~14. I ovulated on day 38. Condoms for 3-4 weeks every cycle? No thanks.
Finally, the thought of temping every day for the rest of my fertile years sounds absolutely godawful.
The 98% rate is with following all of the rules. If you aren't following the rules then you aren't *really* using FAM. (As said in TCOYF, it's like saying you use condoms, but leaving it in the drawer one night.) Obviously it isn't something everyone wants to do and it's perfectly fine if you don't want to, but just for anyone else with irregular cycles that's considering FAM: if you follow all the rules it doesn't require you to have regular cycles to be reliable.
And what is the real world success rate, for mere mortals who aren't likely to remember to follow every rule, every day, every cycle? Following rules for HBC or condoms is easy, and accidents still happen. I would strongly suspect that far more accidents happen with FAM given how complicated it is.
Also, I'm curious how researchers are determining if someone getting KU while using FAM was *really* following all the rules. "Did you take the pill/use a condom?" is an easy question. "Did you *accurately* record your CM/CP?" not so much.
@Lulucooks, I don't think you're crazy at all! Our bodies all react differently and if your experience has been positive so far, why shouldn't you want to go back on HBC eventually?
I went on hormonal BCP when I was 19 to regulate my super irregular AF. I wasn't at all sexually active at that point. I felt just fine when I was on it, because I wasn't really used to no being on it, if that makes sense. Went off it just after turning 26 and the change I felt in my libido and overall mood was scary to me. I felt sooo much better without the BCP. It feels too dramatic to say "almost like a different person" but it did make me wonder about all the time I was using it. I really don't want to go back on them because of them making me feel so different. My cycle was out of whack afterwards - had two 55+ day cycles with a very short LP on the second cycle - but regulated enough for me to get KU relatively quickly after getting off them, so that only plays into the decision not to go back a little bit.
My husband's pretty sure he's one-and-done so he's all, "I'll just get a vasectomy and be done with it," but that seems so final to me and I feel we should wait a while after #1 gets here to make up our minds about whether or not we would like another baby.
We'll likely use barrier methods until we decide (also to do with wanting to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months if I can). I've never experienced regular cycles in my life so I don't feel confident enough to use FAM, even though I've temped while TTC.
I was on BC for like 13 years before i went off to TTC#1. I was fortunate in that my cycles came back right away, and though they were a bit irregular, temping was easy and accurate and allowed me to know when i was ovulating and when my period would start. I actually feel a lot better being off the pill. The only benefit to the pill, i thought, was knowing when my "period" would start, but if i can keep temping, that benefit goes right out the window. So after i had DD, i did not go back on the pill. I didn't want to deal with the hormones potentially impacting breastmilk production. I'm planning to probably go back on some kind of hormonal BC once i am completely done having kids, unless DH agrees to the vasectomy that would ultimately be preferable.
A word of caution though. This is NOT the best method to avoid having kids close together in age. DH and i are older and decided we could play it fast and loose with birth control since we want to have a second kid sometime soon and then be done. Know that BREASTFEEDING IS NOT BIRTH CONTROL. And also that your body goes kind of crazy post-partum. When DD was about 5 months old, i started noticing large batches of fertile CM, so i was on the lookout for my period (CONSTANT VIGILANCE because temping doesn't really work until you've fully started your cycle again). I had my annual OBGYN appointment a few weeks later and she thought i seemed unusually bloated. She thought i might be pregnant (i was not, though that was a scary 3 minutes waiting on the test). She ordered an ultrasound, because i have a history of dermoid cysts that required surgery. The ultrasound showed that i had not one, but TWO eggs about to drop, and a third that was almost ready. She was like "if you don't want to have twins in 9 months, use a condom. Or i can give you the pill. Can i give you the pill?" She was legitimately concerned. And i was terrified. Twins sound super fun until you've had one extremely high needs newborn. I don't even know how I'd function with two more babies, with what would have been a 15 month old in the picture as well. So we completely abstained until i got my period two weeks later. Crisis averted.
We talked about it though, and we'd be comfortable having another baby when DD would be about 18 months old, so we started officially NTNP after that first cycle, though we were a little cautious to avoid what i thought would be my FW the first month. Now that we're aware of the risks, we've come to terms with them. If i get pregnant anytime soon, we'd be very happy, and very interested in an early ultrasound to see how many babies were in there! Twins would require a LOT of lead time to get ready for, y'all. I'm still scared. Everyone says that when your first born is a complete handful, the second is super easy. that better be true. i don't know what I'd do with another one like DD (though to be fair, around 3.5 months she turned into a completely normal, happy, fun baby. those first 3.5 months though...were really, really hard. DH said repeatedly during that time that he no longer wanted to have more kids, until he changed his tune when she was about 4 months old).
@AshVA There is a section in TCOYF about it that you can read, but basically she says if you are following all of the rules and not having sex during your fertile period then there is literally no way you can get pregnant. If you are using a barrier method during your fertile period, then really you just look at the effectiveness of the barrier method you are using. Obviously doing FAM correctly is more work than taking a pill every day, but if someone chooses to use it then they know for it to work that they have to take the time to do it correctly. So there are pros and cons to using it, just like any other BC method.
Never on the pill again, I'd consider an IUD after a few LOs. I once heard someone describe using the pill as contraception as "using a hammer to fix a Swiss watch." Now that I understand FAM and my cycle, I completely get the analogy. Never again for me. That being said, FAM takes a lot of practice and diligence, so I understand that the pill was a good choice for me at a younger age.
DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW, because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
Re: Will you ever start/go back to BC?
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
My periods are way shorter and lighter than before (lighter even than when I was on the bc), monster cramps have come back, and it took about 4-5 months for my hormones to even out. But my acne is actually worse than when I was 21. I feel really really lucky that my period came back right away. I'm worried about what a thinner lining is doing for my chances at pregnancy. All this is to say I will never take hormonal anything again unless there are no other alternative medications for that issue/problem and I have thoroughly researched it. And I will encourage my daughter(s) to stick with non-hormonal contraception.
Like a lot of others, I'm feeling bitter because apparently I didn't need it for all those years (and now I'm worried about what issue(s) it might have been masking and its effects on my current chances for pregnancy).
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
***Poss TMI*** Birth control background.
I was on several different kinds through the years (since I was 15), but it slowly started causing vaginal dryness and frail/fragile skin. It got worse and worse over the years (two different OBGYNs didn't realize how bad it was and shrugged it off). It would cause major bleeding during sex or even foreplay. Not just a little bleeding, but the "stop what you're doing, dark red blood pooling out" kind of blood. It was so painful. The last couple months of taking it, just foreplay would cause it (serious tearing caused by one finger... ugh). We were only able to have sex once every couple months, and normally it wasn't okay. That was hard because I was a very sexual person. I know that's super TMI, but I could get a lot more in detail but stopped here. Anyway, I don't want that again. I almost needed stitches a few times and the doc was also scared a few time about losing too much blood. Ugh.
TTGP February Siggy Challenge
Me: 28
DH: 29
Married: October 2012
TTC #1 since September 2015
Clomid round 1 starting: 4FEB2016 = No ovulationClomid round 2 starting: TBD... whenever AF decides to show up, or I have to take Provera again
3 Furbabies
MFI (High DNA Fragmentation) & Mild endometriosis
Aug 2016 - May 2017 6 IUI's with letrozole - BFN
April 2017 - laparoscopy to remove mild endo
June 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU - Cancelled early ovulation, no eggs retrieved.
Aug/Sept 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU, cetrotide - 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature
5 eggs ICSI'd 6 eggs frozen - 1 day 5 blast transfered, 2 expanded blast frozen - BFP!
May 2018 - Baby girl born - Our Joy
TTC #2 since July 2019
July 2019 - FET - BFN
Jan 2020 - FET - canceled due to family health issues
Mar 2020 - FET - low beta - chemical pregnancy
July 2020 - ICSI'd remaining 6 eggs - 3 fertilized - 2 survived to early blast stage, transfered both - Chemical Pregnancy
I hate the BCP. Hate it. I hated it when I took it for one cycle after hubby and I first started dating (which was when I also became sexually active and started using BC). I had constant spotting throughout the cycle, and was always nauseous, which freaked me out. And then I went on Depo, and that honestly was not bad for the first year. I had no breakthrough bleeding, I was 100% normal except for my lack of periods. I wanted to switch to Nexplanon from that because we knew it'd be years before we TTC.
I had to take one cycle of BCP again between the Depo and the Nexplanon. I bled the entire time.
On Nexplanon, I had no breakthrough bleeding, I had a normal (even heightened) sex drive, everything was normal, just no periods again.
Now that I'm back on BCP, I keep forgetting to take the pill, or get my new prescription (like this month... apparently I haven't taken it since Monday? I had no idea...). I would love to try the FAM, but hubby does not think we'd be successful. I just... ugh. I'm not doing well with the pill, and my sex drive is gone, and I just really would like to stop it, but any attempts to convince hubby have been futile.
Honestly, temping and charting and tracking my CM would be a lot easier than remembering to take the pill. It doesn't seem like it would, but that's like, what... an extra minute before I get out of bed? 30 seconds once I'm in the bathroom? Another 30 seconds for charting it all? I can chart and check CM anywhere - home, school, work. But, my hours are so psycho right now that I have a hard time remembering to take the pill every night.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
This is gross/TMI, but the constant bleeding also threw off my pH and every once in a while, well, all I have to say about that is: fish taco.
In retrospect I probably should have tried a progesterone-only pill first to see how I'd do on that. But I had done well on multiple other BCPs (basically whatever my school or Planned Parenthood was able to throw at me for cheap), so I thought it would be fine.
I've heard of the theory of semen having some mood boosting qualities, but I don't see how a vasectomy would affect that. The semen should be exactly the same, just minus sperm, no? Off to read the article. I think considering it an actual antidepressant is a giant stretch, but whatever.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Married: July 2015
BFP: 5/20/16 | EDD: 1/28/17 | Twin boys born 1/16/17
I've said it before, but it's just funny (as in....laugh/crying funny) how you spend half of your young life trying to NOT get KTFU & not being educated enough around how it could effect your TTC efforts later in life & when you finally find "the one" and you're both ready & you can't freaking wait to get GTFU & you can't. I have no idea if my body is messed up from BCP or not but I know that it's been a year (we're in the middle of switching insurance providers then I'm looking for a new ObGYN & getting that RE referral!!) and we're seemingly young/healthy & not PG so something is up somewhere.
Not to digress, but you ladies are such an amazing support system. Don't get me wrong, my DH is lovely & super supportive- this morning he was like how's it going in WTO this week & he said "WTO"! Love him to bits. But I'm so thankful to have this community as well, for those times you just want to laugh or cry or rant & your "non-internet friends" are all pregnant or fertile as hell & refuse to believe you could have any issues whatsoever with fertility.
ME: 31 | DH: 31
Married: April 2015
TTC (BBT & FF) #1: April 2015 (Off BC: January 2015)
Fur Baby: 1 English Mastiff (Rupert)
I was on BCP for about 8-9 years and was always fine with it. Nice regular periods, good skin, ability to skip a period if need be. All was well until I was 25-26ish and I started getting regular breakthrough bleeding, but even that wasn't too big of a deal. I suspected it lowered my libido too, but I can't be sure of that. Anyway, I decided to go off about a year after getting married to resolve those issues and have been temping ever since. I regulated fairly quickly, even though my LP can be a little short. I love temping and have learned so much.
I don't see why I would ever go back on any form of BC. I used to say that after we had our kids he would get snipped, but that's not happening now. I don't know if we will ever get pregnant naturally, so although I'm not really a religious person, it would just feel wrong to me to do anything to prevent it in the future.
I was on BCPs for a couple years, at first to control my out of control periods, then for BC. I came off a few years ago because I didn't feel good on them and they were a monthly cost I didn't need - I had to take a more expensive one, didn't have insurance, and this was before the ACA. Anywho, I will never go back. I love tracking my cycles and knowing what's going on in there. I also love not gaining weight and not having morning sickness (it made me puke when I smelled certain perfumes, fresh ground coffee, etc). Hubs and I want to just NTNP after baby #1 until we are ready for #2.
Regarding the theory of mood boosting semen, wouldn't regular condom use have the same result as a vasectomy?
*siggy warning*
mmc . mar 2016
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
mmc x2 . sep 2018 & may 2019
RE workup, dx MTHFR mutation, ultimately unexplained . summer 2019
surprise BFP . aug 2019
DS . may 2020
dx Hashimoto's 2023
ttc #3 . feb 2023
mmc . apr 2023
mmc x3 . mar/jul/aug 2024
dx elevated nk cells
tx ovasitol, levothyroxine, baby aspirin, LP progesterone, lovenox, prednisone, femara + ti . jan 2025
BFP . mar 2025
ETA: I see they kind of address that in the second article. I'd like to see the data, though. I also wonder if BCPs decrease the risk of depression in some women (obviously increases it in others according to stories in this thread, but it can go either way), especially those that may be suffering from PMDD and not realize it.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
So, my end point was more that I am becoming concerned that it's just become a fix-all, and is often handed out to patients without much proper education about whatever method they are given. That worries me, because it feels like a "well you don't need that information, you're just a teenager/woman/patient/whatever."
Probably.
I've been on BC for the majority of my life and anytime I'm not on BC I can feel the extremes of my hormone fluctuations. There are days when I can't stand to be touched I'm so on edge. I remember my mom had the same issue when she was near my age, she had a hysterectomy shortly after.
Maybe I should talk to a doctor ...
At the moment, I only plan to go back on when I'm getting ready for my next IVF (and any FET/IVF after that). On and off, on and off, on and off, the worst of all worlds.
I was on them for ovarian cysts, which don't appear to be a problem any more. I'm not likely to go back on them when this is all over, since they aggravate my IBS, and I'm gay anyway.
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
As far as what we'll do later, I haven't really thought about it. We probably won't even bother with it since its been over 2 years with nothing happening. I don't really want to waste my money.
adding: i answered "never have/never will" because if we do use BC it'll be condoms I'm sure.
Married May 2012
TTC#1 July 2013 - July 2015 (no success)
Again TTC#1: Dec 2015
First RE visit: Feb 2016
BFP: 9/16/16 EDD:5/26/17
As many of you ladies have mentioned, I really had no idea what to expect when it came time to come off of the pills. I hate feeling misinformed, but I blame myself a bit because I do try to ask appropriate questions while at the doctor's office. But 17 year old me trying to regulate my cycle and prevent pregnancy didn't think about it.
I hope that when the time comes for us to start preventing again, I'm able to stay away from hormonal BC. I think that when we are done having children, DH is open to the idea of a vasectomy. We don't mind using condoms, but we would prefer not to. I'm not sure what my best choice will be, but I feel a little more empowered now that I have more facts in front of me and questions to ask.
I hate non-medicated AF. I hate being a hormonal emotional wreck for parts of my cycle. I hate having wildly irregular cycles. I hate having weeks of pain from ovarian cysts. I hate the awful acne. I hate that I gained 15 lbs practically overnight after stopping the pill. Basically, the time I've been off of the pill has been the most physically miserable period of my adult life.
Also, while FAM is very helpful for TTC, I would never, ever trust it as a means of TTA. Maybe it works ok if you have pretty regular cycles. But with irregular cycles from PCOS? No way.
Edit: spelling
I meant to ask you after your original post what your reasons were! Definitely don't think you're crazy, it's very interesting how every "body" is different. And if I felt that on edge while not being on BC, I would definitely want to go back on it! And also you're pretty much the gif queen - I always appreciate them being added to the conversation
Of course I can't find a gif appropriate for this one
We use condoms when we're TTA. They suck so much but they work for us.
@Lulucooks, I don't think you're crazy at all! Our bodies all react differently and if your experience has been positive so far, why shouldn't you want to go back on HBC eventually?
I went on hormonal BCP when I was 19 to regulate my super irregular AF. I wasn't at all sexually active at that point. I felt just fine when I was on it, because I wasn't really used to no being on it, if that makes sense. Went off it just after turning 26 and the change I felt in my libido and overall mood was scary to me. I felt sooo much better without the BCP. It feels too dramatic to say "almost like a different person" but it did make me wonder about all the time I was using it. I really don't want to go back on them because of them making me feel so different. My cycle was out of whack afterwards - had two 55+ day cycles with a very short LP on the second cycle - but regulated enough for me to get KU relatively quickly after getting off them, so that only plays into the decision not to go back a little bit.
My husband's pretty sure he's one-and-done so he's all, "I'll just get a vasectomy and be done with it," but that seems so final to me and I feel we should wait a while after #1 gets here to make up our minds about whether or not we would like another baby.
We'll likely use barrier methods until we decide (also to do with wanting to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months if I can). I've never experienced regular cycles in my life so I don't feel confident enough to use FAM, even though I've temped while TTC.
Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness
I was on BC for like 13 years before i went off to TTC#1. I was fortunate in that my cycles came back right away, and though they were a bit irregular, temping was easy and accurate and allowed me to know when i was ovulating and when my period would start. I actually feel a lot better being off the pill. The only benefit to the pill, i thought, was knowing when my "period" would start, but if i can keep temping, that benefit goes right out the window. So after i had DD, i did not go back on the pill. I didn't want to deal with the hormones potentially impacting breastmilk production. I'm planning to probably go back on some kind of hormonal BC once i am completely done having kids, unless DH agrees to the vasectomy that would ultimately be preferable.
A word of caution though. This is NOT the best method to avoid having kids close together in age. DH and i are older and decided we could play it fast and loose with birth control since we want to have a second kid sometime soon and then be done. Know that BREASTFEEDING IS NOT BIRTH CONTROL. And also that your body goes kind of crazy post-partum. When DD was about 5 months old, i started noticing large batches of fertile CM, so i was on the lookout for my period (CONSTANT VIGILANCE because temping doesn't really work until you've fully started your cycle again). I had my annual OBGYN appointment a few weeks later and she thought i seemed unusually bloated. She thought i might be pregnant (i was not, though that was a scary 3 minutes waiting on the test). She ordered an ultrasound, because i have a history of dermoid cysts that required surgery. The ultrasound showed that i had not one, but TWO eggs about to drop, and a third that was almost ready. She was like "if you don't want to have twins in 9 months, use a condom. Or i can give you the pill. Can i give you the pill?" She was legitimately concerned. And i was terrified. Twins sound super fun until you've had one extremely high needs newborn. I don't even know how I'd function with two more babies, with what would have been a 15 month old in the picture as well. So we completely abstained until i got my period two weeks later. Crisis averted.
We talked about it though, and we'd be comfortable having another baby when DD would be about 18 months old, so we started officially NTNP after that first cycle, though we were a little cautious to avoid what i thought would be my FW the first month. Now that we're aware of the risks, we've come to terms with them. If i get pregnant anytime soon, we'd be very happy, and very interested in an early ultrasound to see how many babies were in there! Twins would require a LOT of lead time to get ready for, y'all. I'm still scared. Everyone says that when your first born is a complete handful, the second is super easy. that better be true. i don't know what I'd do with another one like DD (though to be fair, around 3.5 months she turned into a completely normal, happy, fun baby. those first 3.5 months though...were really, really hard. DH said repeatedly during that time that he no longer wanted to have more kids, until he changed his tune when she was about 4 months old).
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!