It's been hard to explain to nearly everyone I know what it's like being pgal. The further you are in your pregnancy the less and less understanding there seams to be about your grief from a previous loss and anxiety over your current pregnancy. It a hard road to hoe especially by your lonesome. You ladies have been a well of inspiration to me in dark times. I don't post much but I have followed and have received lost of encougment this past year. My rainbow baby finally made his debute 1/19/16 9lbs. 1oz. It was not the delivery I expectedit was Rough. I had 24 hrs of labor. 20 unmediated, 7natural-13 with pitocin which makes natural labor look like a joke. At hour 20 I opted for an epidural to give me a chance to sleep through the pitocin at the highest dose. Which was heart breaking being a vbac. My blood pressure dropped but it was controlled. The last hour baby stopped tolerating it and I started to develop a fever. So it was time to call it quits. This c-section was a "gentle"one. I actually do have cpd. My babies are to big to descend into my pelvis. Even at the highest dose of pitocin my uterus is stretched so far my contractions couldn't be effective enough to begin to fit him through. It was too long of labor in the end. I never dilated and my cervix never fully effaced. But it was all worth it. I cried because I was so relieved and greatful for this sweet little baby. I also cried for the one I lost and couldn't bring into this world. I know you ladies understand.