on a completely different note i feel like crap pretty much all the time. just constant negative feelings and general sadness, i feel i should probably go to the doctor and see about anti depressants, or something pther form of meditation for whatever i have going on, but i can't bring myself to, even if i did i wont be able to afford it.. I barely leave the house unless its to get groceries. and the only people my LO really sees or socializes with are his 2 cousins and the others living here (plus the people at the grocery store) i dont want my marriage to end but it seems like my husband is someone i dont want to be with, a lot of things have changed since i fell in love with him years ago. I don't know what I should do about the relationship. and everything sucks. but on the plus side my LO smiles when he isnt being fussy.
I don't post often, but right now, I have no one to talk to as its 2:30am. My beloved gsd just passed away. She's been struggling the past weeks and we took her to the vet to get some pain meds to get her comfortable last week. She was 10.5 years old, possibly older as we rescued her when she was 2-3. She literally just took her last breaths at 2 this morning. LO is upstairs sleeping, me and SO are trying to figure out what to do now. Do we just wait till the vet opens in the morning? We have a Newfoundland too, he's been worried for his "sister" these last few days, poor guy. He's holed up in the bathroom right now.
@swiebe I'm so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. A piece of me thinks I would wait for your vet to open, but more likely I would see about taking him to a 24 hour clinic to be cremated. My thoughts are with you! Give your Newfie a big cuddle.
@swiebe I'm so sorry for your loss. This is probably late, but could you call an emergency vet to see what they recommend?
@JessHeppell first and foremost, you need to be healthy for your baby. Research clinics around you and see if they offer mental health options. There's got to be something low cost or government funded. Also, sign up for free classes at the library so that you and LO can get out and interact with others besides your family. Is there someone to watch LO during the day so you can get a part time job? Or could you try to work somewhere where LO can be with the you, like a daycare? If your husband is a good guy and you love him, it's worth a shot to try to make it work. If he's neglectful/abusive of you or LO then get the hell out, get a handle on your finances, and get an apartment.
@swiebe my deepest sympathies for the loss of your fur baby. Unless you're on the west coast, your vet will either be open by now or will be opening shortly, so the questions of what to do with your beloved friend has probably been answered.
But for anyone else who has this problem in the future, you can either 1) call an emergency / 24 hour vet and bring the pet there for cremation, if you don't want to wait until the morning. 2) you can wait until your vets office opens in the morning, and after speaking with them bring the pet there so that they can arrange cremation. 3) you can wait until regular business hours and contact your vet to ask which company they use for cremation, then call the company directly and ask them if they will do an at home pick up. Some will, but in my experience it has always cost an additional fee.
I'd suggest if you wait for your vets office to open that you call overnight and leave a message tho, as most vets do have messages to check in the morning. The reason is this - most vet offices are awful hectic the first hour they open, with people walking in and the phone ringing off of the hook. The receptionist is going to want to honor your pet and your grief by giving you her undivided attention, and is going to feel like a total ass when she has to put you on hold three times to answer another line. If you leave a message overnight, she can call you before the clinic officially opens and no one else is vying for attention, or she can ask a staff member to cover for her while she calls you back, or if you have a favorite staff member that is working that day, she may have that member call you back so you get a friendly voice on the phone who is 100% devoted to you and your pet right then. Whenever we had a patient die at home, I was always so sad because I knew the owners were at home in the middle of the night, alone with their grief and not knowing what to do. Rest assured noone at your vets office thinks anything about anything if you wait until the morning with your pet.
I'm sorry you were in this situation, and my heart weeps with you at the loss of your friend.
Thank you all! We held out till morning and just called our regular vet. We brought her in around 9 in the morning to get cremated, we didn't request the ashes back. But they take an impression of her paw print and engrave her name on the clay for us as a memorial. We will get a call in a day or so to go pick it up. After some sleep I actually think it was easier to let her pass naturally as opposed to bringing her in to be euthanized. Today is all about lots of love for our Newfie and LO.
@swiebe I am so sorry for your loss. I had tears reading your post earlier. I have a 3 year old GSD and they are such great dogs. It's so so hard to lose a pet. I had one of my dogs cremated and put into a nice urn a couple years ago. Thinking of you.
@JessHeppell some tough love for you here, girl. Don't be a victim to your circumstances. A LOT of people on this board are going through a rough patch with their spouses. Some of us even separated. News for you: you are not the first woman to go through this and you won't be the last. Pull yourself out of this hole and figure out what you and your husband are going to do. If anything, talk to him about custody. Ask him if he'll help out with the baby. Take the time that he takes your LO so you can work so that you 1. Are making money for yourself 2. Feel productive 3. Get some time away from baby 4. Get some time away from your family.
My husband and I split and I'm back at my parent's too. The lack of privacy totally sucks, I agree. But do the best you can in the situation. First, stand up for YOUR son if they don't. Your LO isn't a toy for your niece and nephew. Get that gate. Do what you have to do. Get both of you out of the house whenever you can. Like @cait7425 said, look up some classes at the library. Those are free.
Take care of yourself. If you're not okay, your LO won't be either. Seek government assistance if you have to. It's there for a reason. Don't think "I can't afford this" "I don't want to go", because you're not just screwing yourself over, you're screwing LO too. If you are actively seeking help, you will find it somewhere.
You're in a less than ideal situation. Girl I know because I am there too. Do something for yourself and your son.
ETA: I don't care if he doesn't minds sitting in a dirty diaper. It's plain unsanitary. Change your kid more than 3 times.
Well said @mvargas12 and I applaud you for doing your best despite the incredibly rough situation. Your daughter has an amazing role model.
@swiebe my heart aches for you. Losing fur friends hurts so profoundly, I find myself with an ache in my chest missing my fur babies who've past. Thinking of you and your fam
Oh, I guess PBS will get the second run options (as in, it will air on HBO, then much later air on PBS. The way Netflix has last season's tv shows, I guess)
@mellymar I heard this a few months ago but didn't believe it when I saw it still on pbs. What a bummer, but I'm glad it's still going to be aired on the second running.
Anyone else nervous about the Zika virus? We're supposed to go to the Caribbean in the fall and we were going to start trying again this summer for baby #2. We may post pone that until after our vacation now. I was in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean at 20 weeks last year. Glad I didn't hear about the virus until after LO was born.
TL DR: It's mostly in Brazil but has been spreading. I wouldn't worry unless you're planning to be pregnant by then. Zika virus is spread by mosquitos and can cause microencephaly in the baby if you're infected while pregnant.
@klkonwi it's a mosquito born illness that is causing microcephaly in infants. There were over 2000 born in Brazil last year. The CDC has put out a travel warning for all pregnant women in first and second trimesters to avoid travel to Brazil, Mexico, Puerto Rico, the Carribbean, Latin America.
I've done some reading on it and it looks pretty serious. I anticipate it spreading throughout the Caribbean and into the US rather quickly. Already a case reported in HI. Now just because there is a case reported does not mean that baby gets microencephaly but...its enough to freak me out especially because we have so many mosquitos here in the summer.
ETA: another thought, if a GIANT country is basically telling their population not to get pregnant, knowing the effects that will have down the road on workforce, economy, etc...that is super serious.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@dancegurl1118 I'm worried about it spreading quickly too. The lady in Hawaii did live in Brazil while she was pregnant and only recently moved to Hawaii so they think she got it there. Her baby was born with microcephaly. Very sad.
ETA: I may be in a bee keepers outfit for our trip to St. Maartin. It's not there yet but I'm sure it will be in the fall! The CDC does say you can use deet while pregnant.
Yes, the woman from Hawaii did not contract this is in Hawaii.
They'll figure something out, its just completely impractical to think that they (big, general, impersonal 'they') would advise women to avoid pregnancy. Some company will come out with a pregnancy safe bug repellent soon
I agree, very scary. Something I read on the virus (can't remember if it was a reputable source or not) also mentioned the type of mosquito the virus is carried in is active during the day (as opposed to our stateside type that are most active at dusk) so you need to be constantly aware in those locations where it is active. Also that the symptoms you may experience might be really mild, so you may not even know you contracted the virus.
Ok this isn't about our babies, my older kids are looking for pen pals, my daughter is 9 and my son is 7, anyone with older kids think they would like would like to have a pen pal?
@house86 what a fun idea. I dont have any other kids myself, but I do have nieces about that age. My sister said she would be open to the idea... She has an 11 year old, soon to be 7 year old, and soon to be 5 year old. Let me know.
Is there an 8month sleep regression no one informed me of? My twins bedtime has been 7-7:30pm consistently... Well one of them now insists on staying up until 8:30-9pm thinking its hardcore playtime. Our schedule hasn't changed at all to throw her off, so I'm telling myself there's another regression.
We took a trip to a time zone that was 3 hours earlier last week. LO did fantastic with the changes after one day, each way... And now he's sleeping 1-2 hours later than he was before! Not sure if it's coincidence (probably). He's 7.5 months old. His night sleep is finally getting better after 6.5 months of pure hell.
Re: Randoms!
i feel like crap pretty much all the time. just constant negative feelings and general sadness, i feel i should probably go to the doctor and see about anti depressants, or something pther form of meditation for whatever i have going on, but i can't bring myself to, even if i did i wont be able to afford it.. I barely leave the house unless its to get groceries. and the only people my LO really sees or socializes with are his 2 cousins and the others living here (plus the people at the grocery store) i dont want my marriage to end but it seems like my husband is someone i dont want to be with, a lot of things have changed since i fell in love with him years ago. I don't know what I should do about the relationship. and everything sucks.
but on the plus side my LO smiles when he isnt being fussy.
@JessHeppell first and foremost, you need to be healthy for your baby. Research clinics around you and see if they offer mental health options. There's got to be something low cost or government funded. Also, sign up for free classes at the library so that you and LO can get out and interact with others besides your family. Is there someone to watch LO during the day so you can get a part time job? Or could you try to work somewhere where LO can be with the you, like a daycare? If your husband is a good guy and you love him, it's worth a shot to try to make it work. If he's neglectful/abusive of you or LO then get the hell out, get a handle on your finances, and get an apartment.
But for anyone else who has this problem in the future, you can either 1) call an emergency / 24 hour vet and bring the pet there for cremation, if you don't want to wait until the morning. 2) you can wait until your vets office opens in the morning, and after speaking with them bring the pet there so that they can arrange cremation. 3) you can wait until regular business hours and contact your vet to ask which company they use for cremation, then call the company directly and ask them if they will do an at home pick up. Some will, but in my experience it has always cost an additional fee.
I'd suggest if you wait for your vets office to open that you call overnight and leave a message tho, as most vets do have messages to check in the morning. The reason is this - most vet offices are awful hectic the first hour they open, with people walking in and the phone ringing off of the hook. The receptionist is going to want to honor your pet and your grief by giving you her undivided attention, and is going to feel like a total ass when she has to put you on hold three times to answer another line. If you leave a message overnight, she can call you before the clinic officially opens and no one else is vying for attention, or she can ask a staff member to cover for her while she calls you back, or if you have a favorite staff member that is working that day, she may have that member call you back so you get a friendly voice on the phone who is 100% devoted to you and your pet right then.
Whenever we had a patient die at home, I was always so sad because I knew the owners were at home in the middle of the night, alone with their grief and not knowing what to do. Rest assured noone at your vets office thinks anything about anything if you wait until the morning with your pet.
I'm sorry you were in this situation, and my heart weeps with you at the loss of your friend.
My husband and I split and I'm back at my parent's too. The lack of privacy totally sucks, I agree. But do the best you can in the situation. First, stand up for YOUR son if they don't. Your LO isn't a toy for your niece and nephew. Get that gate. Do what you have to do. Get both of you out of the house whenever you can. Like @cait7425 said, look up some classes at the library. Those are free.
Take care of yourself. If you're not okay, your LO won't be either. Seek government assistance if you have to. It's there for a reason. Don't think "I can't afford this" "I don't want to go", because you're not just screwing yourself over, you're screwing LO too. If you are actively seeking help, you will find it somewhere.
You're in a less than ideal situation. Girl I know because I am there too. Do something for yourself and your son.
ETA: I don't care if he doesn't minds sitting in a dirty diaper. It's plain unsanitary. Change your kid more than 3 times.
@swiebe my heart aches for you. Losing fur friends hurts so profoundly, I find myself with an ache in my chest missing my fur babies who've past. Thinking of you and your fam
I was in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean at 20 weeks last year. Glad I didn't hear about the virus until after LO was born.
Eta: spelling
How cool is this idea?
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cdc-travel-warning-issued-for-pregnant-women-amid-zika-outbreak/
TL DR: It's mostly in Brazil but has been spreading. I wouldn't worry unless you're planning to be pregnant by then. Zika virus is spread by mosquitos and can cause microencephaly in the baby if you're infected while pregnant.
ETA: another thought, if a GIANT country is basically telling their population not to get pregnant, knowing the effects that will have down the road on workforce, economy, etc...that is super serious.
ETA: I may be in a bee keepers outfit for our trip to St. Maartin. It's not there yet but I'm sure it will be in the fall! The CDC does say you can use deet while pregnant.
They'll figure something out, its just completely impractical to think that they (big, general, impersonal 'they') would advise women to avoid pregnancy. Some company will come out with a pregnancy safe bug repellent soon
Kidding but I am legit pretty worried about it because I get eaten alive anytime I step outside.
....see previous post.
And excuse me while I have a break down.