Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: The Business of Being Born - rant
If the bolded part is true, it seems like OB and CNM have the same ability except that OBs have more abilities like being able to deal with high risk, surgery, and unexpected complications during birth. My question is, if that is true, and even though the probability of having complications during birth is low, because no one can actually predict how the birthing process will go, what is the actual benefit of going with a CNM rather than an OB?
I am now 35 weeks and have not seen a ob once. If I had developed any pregnancy complications only then would I need to.
What would be interesting is to see if this difference in womens care between the uk and US has any influence on statistics e.g. what percentage of women have cs when compared? X
The part that kills me and that no one pays attention to is we have a much higher rate of maternal AND infant mortality rates than elsewhere in the first world who rely on midwifery care exclusively. But you know, OB's are clearly ALWAYS a better choice because we're told that all the time.
Even if someone is interested in an intervention free labor and delivery, wouldn't it always be better to be laboring under the care of an OB who can perform medical interventions in case the mother changes her mind during labor/ or circumstances change that require immediate intervention? Unless you mean that OBs 'push' for more intervention than CNMs. If that's the case, I can see what you are saying but if not, I still don't get why laboring with a CNM instead of an OB is better for some bc it seems like CNM's ability is still just a subsection of OB's ability, and CNMs aren't providing any benefits that OBs cannot provide.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
The statistics are comparing countries with mostly OB care to countries with significantly more midwife care. C section rates and maternal death rates are significantly better in developed countries with more midwife care than in the US.
OBs tend to jump to medical intervention in the case of a slowly progressing labor, and may recommend induction before 42 weeks in a normal pregnancy when it may be a better outcome to wait and give the mother an opportunity to go into labor naturally. Mothers who go into labor naturally have a lower CS rate than those who are induced from the start.
I have nothing against OBs, but the fact is that a normal, healthy pregnancy does not generally require the kind of medical intervention that is often given in a hospital by an OB, and if it does, then a midwife can transfer her patient to an OB. I myself prefer to be under midwife care with a hospital nearby available for emergent situations. I cannot speak to the safety of home birth, but at a birth center with nurses and nurse-midwives, my care during birth was not lacking in any way. They were vigilant in monitoring baby's heart rate and my vitals every 15 minutes and while I pushed, and if there had been red flags, they would not have hesitated to transfer me to hospital care.
It's also about the differences between a country with universal health care. In a country where everyone has access to public care run by government organisations or hospitals, there's slightly different issues that present themselves. There are so many patients who's care is not in any way limited by insurance (unless you elect to buy insurance and go through as a private patient in a public hospital like me or through a private hospital). As such, the time of public, specialised OBs is at a premium (they are more expensive obviously) and so there are more midwives. The midwife usually liaises with the publicly provided social workers, dietitians, physios, psychs and other care providers. OBs generally focus on the medical. Our midwives have a graduate degree on top of a 3-4 year nursing degree and have to deliver 40+ babies and follow a number of pregnancies from start to finish before they're qualified. My student midwife has already been present for 3 "natural" twin births and one assisted.
Its culturally different, it's medically different and essentially a different model of care
Expecting Double Trouble, April 2016