@afrazer521That's absolutely ridiculous. My heart dropped into my stomach just reading your post - I can only imagine how you are feeling. You have my support!
@afrazer521 I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!! Lean on friends and family and get the hell away from him! You will be an amazing mother and all around person without someone like that holding you back. We're definitely all here to support you!!
@afrazer521 vent away. I know that must be difficult to say. Please know that this is not your fault ... you need to do what is best for you and the kiddos. We're here to be your sounding board.
@afrazer521 I'm hurt and angry FOR you. His behavior is disgusting and inexcusable. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. I hope you have close friends or family you can lean on right now, but if not, just know you've got all of us. We're cheering you on! Sending you tons of non-creepy Internet hugs.
@afrazer521 - I can't imagine going through that on top of being pregnant! I had a longtime boyfriend who did that to me as well. It took me a few times but I finally kicked him to the curb and found dh. It's SO different and amazing to be in a relationship where trust isn't an issue that I wish I would have left far sooner. Anyway, you can do it and we're here for you!
I don't like complaining about my boyfriend because typically he is a nice guy but I cannot stand him right now. He is making such bad decisions. He just bought a truck which we can't afford. He only got approved for the loan because his mom cosigned for him. If he would have had me cosign (which I would have done if he asked) he would have gotten a hell of a lot lower interest rate than 10%! I've never even heard of such a high interest rate for a car. So anyway, now we owe $13,000 on a truck. AND, he only wants to get liability insurance. Way to protect your investment! I'm seriously questioning if he is the right person for me. We just got into a big fight about it and he left (I told him if he leaves don't come back). So, I might be going solo for awhile. Ugh. Why do guys suck?!
Mommy to an angel baby and a sweet little girl Earth side.
Im most annoyed at DH when im up late with morning sickness and he's in the bed dreaming away oblivious. I could just strangle him all while saying "YOU DID THIS TO ME?!?" lol
@LifeofLauren2 men do stupid things they do not think. Their brain functions totally different than ours. Think about what you want and what you don't want. What you can put up with and what you can. He is showing you how he handles his money. Can you handle that? Oh and keep a separate bank account and ALWAYS have you some money on the side just in case things get crazy.
Just wanted to say thanks to all the ladies that replied to my post. Sorry I've been mia. Currently staying at my parents and trying to figure out what is going on with my life. So I apologize for avoiding the app, I've been in a self induced seclusion lol.
@LifeofLauren2 be happy you didn't cosign! Also, not sure about it wherever you are, but in CA, a financed vehicle has to be full coverage. I'd check with the lender before trying to skimp on insurance- at least us that as an argument point!
@LifeofLauren2 I've always been taught the same as SparkySunshine and I've lived in multiple states. In general, a lender will require full coverage so that the cost of the vehicle is covered if you wreck it. Not a lot of people would continue making ridiculously high payments on a car they couldn't drive or that no longer exists. Not sure if it's a law, but it's usually part of the loan contract.
So I've been home sick for two days. DH today was at work okay fine I simply asked him to pick me up more unisom as I didn't feel up to going out again he decides since I have one pill left we can just go tomorrow....By the way target is right on his way home...
Then we he gets home he does not ask me how I'm feeling or if he can get me anything nope just goes in and starts playing video games where he has been all night... I've tried two times to get him to come out and spend time with me but nope oh and he also got made at me because I at half a donut left the whole one for him but he was mad I didn't leave all of them for him...ugh jerk
@afrazer521 just caught up on this board and read your post. I'm so sorry! You and your lo's don't deserve that crap! I hope your parents are in the position to help and always vent here to us ladies! Hope things are looking up soon!
@afrazer521 I just read your post. Sorry lady! That has to be frustrating! We will all be here if you need to vent and whatnot. I do have to say, in my old BMB (from fall 2011), the ladies that went through the same thing while pregnant, are the ones going through the same thing now....and our kids are four. All of their spouses cheated on them in some way, shape, or form, during an important time in their life. All of them claimed they wouldn't do it again, their wives forgive them, and they are still doing it. The wives are unhappy in the marriage, but refuse to put their foot down. There is one, that finally had enough around the time our kids were two, and decided she deserved so much better. Even though the thought of being a single parent was terrifying, she got a divorce. And after picking up her feet, getting her emotions in check, and learning the ropes of being a single parent (her ex really does nothing when it comes to co-parenting), she is now dating an amazing guy that is totally in love with her and great with her daughter. We were Bump friends turned IRL friends, so I have been able to witness her happiness first hand, and how much she has changed as a person. Meanwhile, the other ladies are still dealing with their cheating husbands, including one who's husband was cheating on her with multiple women when she was 8mo pregnant with their second (and this was the 3rd or 4th time he got caught, but each time, he said he wouldn't do it again). On top of that, after them getting away with it for so long, now some of the husbands are starting to accuse their wives of having affairs, even though they aren't. I cannot imagine being in a marriage where not only is my husband cheating on me, but he is turning around and accusing me of doing the same thing when I am not.
Anyway, I hope for your sake that you do what is in the best interest of you and the kids. Whether that is going to some hardcore marriage (and individual) counseling and working on it, or being done with him. Honestly, if this is the second time he has done it, he didn't learn from the first time. My husband knows that the first time, will be the last time.....because I won't put up with any of that stuff. Good luck lady, I will be thinking about you!
@SparkySunshine and @pandaferh perfect argument point! Convinced him to get full coverage! And we got a discount since we added it on with my car and our rental insurance! Woohoo! Now he's out getting me french fries. I guess he is a pretty good guy. We were just having a bad day.
Mommy to an angel baby and a sweet little girl Earth side.
Just got in an actual argument over some should podcast he listened to saying that the dates on food actually don't matter unless it's deli meat or cheese. He's basically telling me to ignore any date on any food in the house because these people who he says are food scientists say the dates don't matter.
1. This is stupid. 2. I don't feel like pregnancy is a good time to test this theory.
Then he had the nerve to ask me why I was being "unreasonable" about it. Fuming.
I didn't sleep well last night because my hubby has been snoring SUPER loud lately (even though he keeps swearing he'll make a doctor's appointment, but that's a different story) so I ended up on the couch. Told him this afternoon I wanted to go take a nap and he was all like, "Okay, I'm just going to lay down for 15-20 minutes first." It's been an hour and a half and he's still not up, and I can hear him snoring so I can't even go in there to lay down because he'll just keep me awake. Plus, he promised me he'd do some work on his resume this afternoon (he's trying to change jobs, possibly out of state, before baby comes, and I keep saying the sooner the better because I'd like to actually know where we're going to live when we bring this baby home) but of course he hasn't.
I realize it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, but I'm tired and cranky and my hormones are making me rage-weep today, and I just needed to vent!
I didn't sleep well last night because my hubby has been snoring SUPER loud lately (even though he keeps swearing he'll make a doctor's appointment, but that's a different story) so I ended up on the couch. Told him this afternoon I wanted to go take a nap and he was all like, "Okay, I'm just going to lay down for 15-20 minutes first." It's been an hour and a half and he's still not up, and I can hear him snoring so I can't even go in there to lay down because he'll just keep me awake. Plus, he promised me he'd do some work on his resume this afternoon (he's trying to change jobs, possibly out of state, before baby comes, and I keep saying the sooner the better because I'd like to actually know where we're going to live when we bring this baby home) but of course he hasn't.
I realize it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, but I'm tired and cranky and my hormones are making me rage-weep today, and I just needed to vent!
Edit: words are hard when you're crying.
nope nope nope. One, kick his ass straight outta bed...literally. If he refused to do anything about it, he can sleep on the couch. And go in there right now and wake his ass up NOW. Also, call and make an appointment for him. Sorry you're so exhausted!!
^^^this! My husband sounds like a freight train at night sometimes and when he starts that shit he gets kicked out. Simple. I would definitely wake his ass up so you can rest. Humph!
I didn't sleep well last night because my hubby has been snoring SUPER loud lately (even though he keeps swearing he'll make a doctor's appointment, but that's a different story) so I ended up on the couch. Told him this afternoon I wanted to go take a nap and he was all like, "Okay, I'm just going to lay down for 15-20 minutes first." It's been an hour and a half and he's still not up, and I can hear him snoring so I can't even go in there to lay down because he'll just keep me awake. Plus, he promised me he'd do some work on his resume this afternoon (he's trying to change jobs, possibly out of state, before baby comes, and I keep saying the sooner the better because I'd like to actually know where we're going to live when we bring this baby home) but of course he hasn't.
I realize it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, but I'm tired and cranky and my hormones are making me rage-weep today, and I just needed to vent!
Edit: words are hard when you're crying.
nope nope nope. One, kick his ass straight outta bed...literally. If he refused to do anything about it, he can sleep on the couch. And go in there right now and wake his ass up NOW. Also, call and make an appointment for him. Sorry you're so exhausted!!
Good call on making the doctor appointment for him. He finally got up after 2 hours, so I just went in the bedroom and locked the door. We'll talk this shit out tomorrow. Right now, it's time for sleeeeeep.
@elldel My husband has had two sleep studies that claim nothing is wrong. Then what in fresh hell is coming out of his mouth every night? It sucks but we've resorted to separate bedrooms.
@afrazer521 I am SO sorry you are going through this. We were married for two years when something similar happened to me. DH went out of town for work and was acting weird. He comes home and he gets a weird email. I snoop and look at his texts. Come to find out it was a married girl he met on his trip. There was some provocative texts exchanged. He swore he never physically cheated. I even talked to her and she claimed the same thing. When I confronted DH he said he's mad I found out because now I see him differently. I was mad that he just didn't tell me. I thought about leaving. DS was 2 at the time. He still talked to her on FB and she eventually said she was done talking to him. I was beyond hurt and pissed. I felt like it was MY fault because he had to go looking for something he wasn't getting from me. Took a while to earn his trust back and he hasn't done anything like that again. I still don't know if they actually kissed or anything. I just have to trust his word. It's been a tough road to forgive him and sometimes my insecurities come back again. I just have to remind myself he screwed up, it wasn't my fault and I forgave him. He mad a stupid decision early in our marriage. We got married quiet young and was pregnant when we got married. Our relationship started off hard. Anyways, I said all that to let you know it's not your fault. I couldn't imagine divorcing my DH, I don't know if I could even if he cheated. I'm also a SAHM with no college degree, so I couldn't support us. Do what you need to do that's best for you and your children. If you want to give him another chance, make sure he's clear on your expectations. If you want to leave, I don't blame you. Sorry! If you need to talk you can PM me.
I love my husband, I really do, but I wanted to bop him on the head this morning. I was running on less than 5 hours sleep yesterday, compliments of pregnancy insomnia, so last night I was one tired pup. I was sleeping good, and having some rather interesting dreams, when my husband decided to try to wake me up just before 2 A.M. for sex. It definitely didn't go as he planned. In my defense, I tried to wake up enough, but my eyes would not stay open for anything. He was all huffy this morning, because A. he failed miserably in his attempt, and B. we haven't had sex in about a month because I've been either sick with sinuses, nauseous, exhausted when he's tried for sex, or combination thereof. Right now, I've got a sinus infection, so even if I weren't pregnant, I'd still need more rest than usual... add growing a baby to that, and getting sleep is not optional, it's mandatory. I told him to talk to his dad and see if he can arrange for DS to not only stay there during the day on Saturday, but also stay Saturday night so we can try to have some "us time"... maybe that'll perk him up a bit.
So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"
I have been craving ribeye steak for the past THREE DAYS now. My husband is in the process of opening up a new car dealership but he keeps telling me he's going to come home early and grill these damn steaks for me. Well, it's now day three and it's 8pm so once again no steak. I get it, it's opening week and he's getting paperwork done, the cars detailed and fixed and on the lot butttttt when your pregnant wife wants a damn ribeye you better make time for it. I mean I'm only carrying his child.
Re: The complain about your significant other thread
Then we he gets home he does not ask me how I'm feeling or if he can get me anything nope just goes in and starts playing video games where he has been all night... I've tried two times to get him to come out and spend time with me but nope oh and he also got made at me because I at half a donut left the whole one for him but he was mad I didn't leave all of them for him...ugh jerk
Anyway, I hope for your sake that you do what is in the best interest of you and the kids. Whether that is going to some hardcore marriage (and individual) counseling and working on it, or being done with him. Honestly, if this is the second time he has done it, he didn't learn from the first time. My husband knows that the first time, will be the last time.....because I won't put up with any of that stuff. Good luck lady, I will be thinking about you!
1. This is stupid.
2. I don't feel like pregnancy is a good time to test this theory.
Then he had the nerve to ask me why I was being "unreasonable" about it. Fuming.
I realize it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, but I'm tired and cranky and my hormones are making me rage-weep today, and I just needed to vent!
Edit: words are hard when you're crying.
Good call on making the doctor appointment for him. He finally got up after 2 hours, so I just went in the bedroom and locked the door. We'll talk this shit out tomorrow. Right now, it's time for sleeeeeep.
So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"
Voted "Mom of the Year" 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards