Comments while breastfeeding

mamakculb · January 2016

I just saw one of those "social experiment" videos on Facebook about people telling nursing moms that it's disgusting to beeastfeed in public. I am a STM and breastfed my son for a year wherever we were and plan to do the same with DD. I've never had anyone actually approach me in public, but I've definitely had a few glares. I'm just curious, how many moms actually get rude people telling them it's gross or to nurse somewhere else? Anyone have any experiences to share?

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

I had a few comments with my 3rd baby (1st one I BF). My go-to response became to hold eye contact and say "Wow. Why would you say something like that?" and if they kept on, "This is my right, and if you keep arguing with me, I'll pull out my other tit and squirt you." Then they scurry away.

wrappingmama · January 2016

Never ever had anyone say anything to me negatively. I've nursed 2 babies and will with my 3rd. I actually make a point to say something positive to a mom when I see her nursing her babe. And thank her for feeding in public. I think it's important that women lift each other up, you never know if they are uncomfortable feeding their baby in public or have heard a negative comment.

jeanbug12 · January 2016

I never had any rude comments when I breastfed my last 2 babies in public. I always nursed without a cover and I don't think many people even realized I was nursing when I did.

Achae · January 2016

I had many positive comments and only one negative comment by some teenagers after I had walked out of a changing stall with my daughter. They never said anything to me but I heard them as I was walking away and I didn't think it was worth it to walk back and say anything. I like to think I'd make some snarky comment but really I would probably do the same and just pretend they don't exist.

OrangeFox · January 2016

I breastfed my son until he was two. Although the last year I don't think I ever did out in public because it was pretty much at nap, night or morning. I never had any negative comment, a few positive ones here and there.

I also live in a pretty progressive larger city.

LIly436 · January 2016

If every nursing mother was modest and covered herself, there would not be any negative comments. Is it that hard to consider feelings of others and not expose yourself in public? Some call it natural, but for a lot of people seeing a naked boob is shocking

mamakculb · January 2016

LIly436 said:
If every nursing mother was modest and covered herself, there would not be any negative comments. Is it that hard to consider feelings of others and not expose yourself in public? Some call it natural, but for a lot of people seeing a naked boob is shocking

What do you consider modest and covered? Some people think it's okay only if you have a cover or blanket. I can speak from experience that those can be more of an uncomfortable inconvenience for the mom and nursing baby.

SummerOH · January 2016

I'm kind of shy so never nursed really publicly. I'd always find a secluded spot and drape a lightweight scarf over my kids. My sister is a lot more open when nursing - not her whole breast out uncovered like some moms (which is fine if that's your thing!), but she will nurse in a carrier or at a restaurant table with a cover, for example. She's only received positive comments, which is surprisingly refreshing for our conservative area!

Achae · January 2016

LIly436 said:
If every nursing mother was modest and covered herself, there would not be any negative comments. Is it that hard to consider feelings of others and not expose yourself in public? Some call it natural, but for a lot of people seeing a naked boob is shocking

Lol. "If every woman shamed herself into covering her body society would be so much easier for me!"

Ju111310 · January 2016

@LIly436 No. Just no. Opinions like yours are the reason bf'ing in public is still taboo. It's not about "exposing yourself" & "considering others feelings", breastfeeding a hungry baby is the natural thing to do. I'm not waving my breast around for others to see for attention. I pull up my shirt with a tank underneath to cover my stomach and show as little skin as possible but not all babies can or will nurse with a blanket over their head. Anybody offended by me nursing can put a blanket over their head.

To OP, I thankfully never had anyone say anything negative to me while I nursed DS1 for a year because I would've likely exploded on them. & I have nursed at many restaurant tables while waiting on my food to come out.

LIly436 · January 2016

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

maureenmce · January 2016

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

That's the great thing about this - no one is making you breastfeed without a cover in public! However, you don't get to choose if other women do. It's not up to you. Also, there is obviously a large difference between nursing a baby in public and defecating or having sex in public. That is a ridiculous comparison and extremely rude to breastfeeding women everywhere.

DianaL92 · January 2016

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

I'm sorry, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I have seen a good amount of women breastfeeding in public, and I have NEVER seen a "full boob" while they were doing so. They have all had their shirt covering what the baby did not cover. I'm sure there are a lot more that I did not notice were breastfeeding because it simply looks like they are cuddling their babies. And like pp said, it's their choice to breastfeed in public just like it is your choice to breastfeed in private.

Monkeybutt80 · January 2016

@LIly436 you are sexualizing them when they are functioning like milk bottles for babies. The issue is with people like you that sexualize the breasts when someone is nursing in public, not the ladies that are feeding their babies in public. Your logic is the same as telling girls to change their clothes bc it distracts the boys, instead of teaching the boys to respect the girls and their bodies.

I nursed in public and depending on my kid's mood, I sometimes had a cover and sometimes I didn't. I only got positive comments, never anything negative.

hannahduff3 · January 2016

I saw that video too and it makes me worried and sad. Especially when not even all women can support other women....

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

The difference is urinating, defecating, and sex in public are illegal. Breastfeeding in public isn't. So, it really doesn't matter what you, or anyone else, think. Don't want to see it? Turn your head. It's that simple.

hannahduff3 · January 2016

Don't worry guys every time I see her post it's never anything nice.

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

hannahduff3 said:

Don't worry guys every time I see her post it's never anything nice.

Agreed. Did you read her shit in the 3rd tri post about a woman who'd been sexually abused being uncomfortable with breastfeeding?

hannahduff3 · January 2016

GAgirlinSDakota said:

hannahduff3 said:

Don't worry guys every time I see her post it's never anything nice.

Agreed. Did you read her shit in the 3rd tri post about a woman who'd been sexually abused being uncomfortable with breastfeeding?

Yes. How insensitive and cold hearted. I don't know how she honestly thought she was being helpful... I keep her child in my thoughts and hope that they never go through a hard time that they would need their mothers support and advice for.

jeanbug12 · January 2016

LIly436 said:
Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

Your right, peeing, pooping and sex are natural and doing them in public is gross. Eating is also natural and I assume you do that in public fairly frequently. That is what nursing is, a baby eating.

And I have never seen a women expose her full boob in public while breastfeeding..Even without a light scarf or cover, full boob exposure doesn't happen. It is hot where I live, there is no way I am nursing in the car, yuck.

maureenmce · January 2016

I actually reported the comment because I think it's very inappropriate to compare breastfeeding to urinating, defecating and having sex in public. Personally, I could care less about what this lady thinks re: breastfeeding and I plan to feed my LO in whatever way is necessary, cover or no cover, but it makes me livid to think that her comments could possibly cause someone who's nervous about breastfeeding in public to second guess herself or feel any kind of shame about it.

missperky · January 2016

I saw this on fb too today and shared it. I honestly couldn't believe it was real. It didn't even look like she was holding a real baby. That being said I don't doubt this happens daily to breastfeeding moms.
With DD I got a few glares, but no one actually came up an said anything to me. I've only had one negative experience when DD was about 2 months old and we were having lunch at a restaurant. The waitress actually tried to put a paper napkin on DD's head while I was feeding her. I quickly shooed her away and DH and I just looked at each other like "did that just happen?" Needless to say she did not get a tip.

arghhhhhhhhh · January 2016

It's all about eye contact. If someone glares at you, don't break eye contact!

No one has made any comments to me but Ive had lots of head shaking or eye rolling by some older women. I live in a very conservative area, but less is showing when I nurse my baby than a lot of women's tank tops or low cut blouses. Honestly.

I think glaring right back without saying anything might be helpful in stoping people from opening their stupid mouths. It's a dominance thing, like with dogs! Show them you are confident and not timid by looking them straight in the eye, whoever looks away first or talks first, loses.

BAUMGC39 · January 2016

Although, I have not breastfed in public more than a handful of times (didn't get out much with baby #1), the handful of times I did -were very positive. I'm not sure how I would react if someone was rude to me- I grew up with bf being a natural part of life.

EmmyMommy123 · January 2016

maureenmce said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

That's the great thing about this - no one is making you breastfeed without a cover in public! However, you don't get to choose if other women do. It's not up to you. Also, there is obviously a large difference between nursing a baby in public and defecating or having sex in public. That is a ridiculous comparison and extremely rude to breastfeeding women everywhere.

This!!

I haven't had to breastfeed in public yet, but I've had comments from family members about covering up when "the men" are around before having my babe. I have zero issue with doing whatever you do to feed your baby wherever you want, but thought maybe I'd feel more comfortable covering up. Well now that babe is here, "the men" - at least on my side have gotten used to the fact that if you want to hang out with me and my son, you're going to either see some boob, or you can look away. Breastfeeding is hard and I'm not going to make it harder on us both for your comfort.

For extended family so far I've covered up, but made it very obvious I'm uncomfortable and it's making things way more difficult. I'll stick myself under the blanket and cut off conversation until I've got a good latch. We'll see where it goes...

Not going to lie I'm really nervous for my baby shower this weekend. The thought of feeding - covered or uncovered - with so many watchful eyes (I'm at the front of a room of 70 people) is nerve wracking. I'm thinking positively that we'll be a bit more comfortable by then and I'll have the confidence to think "these people are here specifically for me and my son, why should I be uncomfortable feeding him in their presence?"

I really hope breastfeeding in public becomes an empowering experience for all women!

Achae · January 2016

@EmmyMommy123 if baby is too distracted by all the people then there is no shame in retreating to a quiet room

I had to do that at least as my daughter got older and more aware of her surroundings. I'm sure you'll do great and anybody at your shower would be supportive!

LIly436 · January 2016

maureenmce said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

That's the great thing about this - no one is making you breastfeed without a cover in public! However, you don't get to choose if other women do. It's not up to you. Also, there is obviously a large difference between nursing a baby in public and defecating or having sex in public. That is a ridiculous comparison and extremely rude to breastfeeding women everywhere.

It is very rude to children and men of older generation to expose half of your upper body and make them look at you and try to keep their appetite. Is it that hard to cover up? Comparison of natural bodily functions, nothing ridiculous. How would you like someone farting next to your plate in a restaurant? Very natural

kmo8986 · January 2016

LIly436 said:

maureenmce said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

That's the great thing about this - no one is making you breastfeed without a cover in public! However, you don't get to choose if other women do. It's not up to you. Also, there is obviously a large difference between nursing a baby in public and defecating or having sex in public. That is a ridiculous comparison and extremely rude to breastfeeding women everywhere.

It is very rude to children and men of older generation to expose half of your upper body and make them look at you and try to keep their appetite. Is it that hard to cover up? Comparison of natural bodily functions, nothing ridiculous. How would you like someone farting next to your plate in a restaurant? Very natural

I can't help but get involved with your ridiculous opinion. No one is MAKING anyone look at my boob while I breast feed. You can look the other way. You can't "smell the other way" if someone farts next to your plate. Also I don't think anyone here was talking specifically about a restaurant. There are many other things that people do in public besides eat.

LIly436 · January 2016

DianaL92 said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

I'm sorry, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I have seen a good amount of women breastfeeding in public, and I have NEVER seen a "full boob" while they were doing so. They have all had their shirt covering what the baby did not cover. I'm sure there are a lot more that I did not notice were breastfeeding because it simply looks like they are cuddling their babies. And like pp said, it's their choice to breastfeed in public just like it is your choice to breastfeed in private.

I have nothing against BF in public places, I just do not like the full boob exposure. I find it disrespectful.
Do you remember the discussion on FB a while ago about a woman BF her daughter at her graduation? The picture of a utter like boob hanging in full view is still haunting me. Thank God majority of women are not like that

Achae · January 2016

LIly436 said:

DianaL92 said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

I'm sorry, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I have seen a good amount of women breastfeeding in public, and I have NEVER seen a "full boob" while they were doing so. They have all had their shirt covering what the baby did not cover. I'm sure there are a lot more that I did not notice were breastfeeding because it simply looks like they are cuddling their babies. And like pp said, it's their choice to breastfeed in public just like it is your choice to breastfeed in private.

I have nothing against BF in public places, I just do not like the full boob exposure. I find it disrespectful.
Do you remember the discussion on FB a while ago about a woman BF her daughter at her graduation? The picture of a utter like boob hanging in full view is still haunting me. Thank God majority of women are not like that

You should probably seek therapy for your problems instead of projecting them onto other women.

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

LIly436 said:

DianaL92 said:

LIly436 said:

Breastfeeding is natural, as well as urinating, defecating and sex. There are respectful ways of doing all of those.
If my baby would not eat with a light scarf covering her, then I will feed her in the car. But nothing will make me expose my full boob in public

I'm sorry, but this literally made me laugh out loud. I have seen a good amount of women breastfeeding in public, and I have NEVER seen a "full boob" while they were doing so. They have all had their shirt covering what the baby did not cover. I'm sure there are a lot more that I did not notice were breastfeeding because it simply looks like they are cuddling their babies. And like pp said, it's their choice to breastfeed in public just like it is your choice to breastfeed in private.

I have nothing against BF in public places, I just do not like the full boob exposure. I find it disrespectful.
Do you remember the discussion on FB a while ago about a woman BF her daughter at her graduation? The picture of a utter like boob hanging in full view is still haunting me. Thank God majority of women are not like that

A woman's right to breastfeed her child whenever, wherever, and however she sees fit doesn't stop just because you (or anyone else) are a prude about boobs being used as intended. Don't want to see it? Look away. Done.

mamabear89071516 · January 2016

If people are shaming @LIly436 for having a differing opinion, what makes you any different than the people shaming women for breast feeding in public? I think we are all entitled to our own opinion and she has just as much a right to voice hers and not get ridiculed for it as anyone else!

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

She lost any chance of respect from me on a different thread where she implied that the OP, who had been sexually abused, shouldn't have a problem w/ BFing since she was willing to have sex.

"Thinking more about the baby and not own selfish needs will definitely help. After all this is her third child, how bad a breastfeeding could be compared to sex"

slstickn84 · January 2016

Honestly, the opinions of people that are against breastfeeding in public - covered or otherwise - simply don't matter. It's legal to breastfeed uncovered anywhere a woman is allowed to be (unless you live in Idaho). Anyone getting in the way of a woman doing so is breaking the law. So... get over it. And if you can't get over it, get professional help.

This @LIly436 person is clearly a troll. Don't feed the trolls.

And yeah, @Knottie82382906 anyone attempting to shame women for breastfeeding in public deserve to be told they are wrong. Sorry, no one needs to be sensitive to the precious feel feels of ridiculous people.

GAgirlinSDakota · January 2016

slstickn84 said:

Honestly, the opinions of people that are against breastfeeding in public - public or otherwise - simply don't matter. It's legal to breastfeed uncovered anywhere a woman is allowed to be (unless you live in Idaho). Anyone getting in the way of a woman doing so is breaking the law. So... get over it. And if you can't get over it, get professional help.

This @LIly436 person is clearly a troll. Don't feed the trolls.

And yeah, @Knottie82382906 anyone attempting to shame women for breastfeeding in public deserve to be told they are wrong. Sorry, no one needs to be sensitive to the precious feel feels of ridiculous people.

UptownPearl · January 2016

@Llly436 I'm curious, have you had your baby yet? Or mothered any other children? I ask because pre-baby I only viewed breasts as sexual objects. They served no other purpose than adding pleasure to mine and my husband's sex life. Now that I have a baby they have a completely different purpose. A more meaningful purpose. Breastfeeding is a very special experience for bonding with your baby, but it's also how you provide for your child. It's not easy either, and sometimes you have to do some crazy things just to get a latch, not to mention that it can be painful too. I don't think any woman chooses to publicly breastfeed to take advantage of exposing herself, there's way too much work going into it to even think about whether or not you're bothering someone else. Your only concern is getting food into your baby's belly. Before having a baby I wouldn't let anyone see my breasts besides my husband. I would be mortified. But in the hospital I had probably 5 different women actually touching my boobs, and I was thankful for it because they were helping me nourish my child. I fully believe in being as appropriate and modest as possible, but breastfeeding women do not think of their breasts as sexual objects, they are not trying to put themselves on display, and they're probably already struggling enough as it is without the judgment.

LIly436 · January 2016

Monkeybutt80 said:

@LIly436 you are sexualizing them when they are functioning like milk bottles for babies. The issue is with people like you that sexualize the breasts when someone is nursing in public, not the ladies that are feeding their babies in public. Your logic is the same as telling girls to change their clothes bc it distracts the boys, instead of teaching the boys to respect the girls and their bodies. I nursed in public and depending on my kid's mood, I sometimes had a cover and sometimes I didn't. I only got positive comments, never anything negative.

How would you like to explain you elementary school aged son, for example, why this woman is half naked?
In regards to girls and their clothes. You have not been in a high school for a long time - girls quite often dress like sluts and do need to change their clothes in order to not give boners to teachers and boys

LIly436 · January 2016

GAgirlinSDakota said:

The difference is urinating, defecating, and sex in public are illegal. Breastfeeding in public isn't. So, it really doesn't matter what you, or anyone else, think. Don't want to see it? Turn your head. It's that simple.

That is exactly what I am doing with rolling my eyes. We were asked for opinion on a subject, I am expressing mine.

Achae · January 2016

LIly436 said:

Monkeybutt80 said:

@LIly436 you are sexualizing them when they are functioning like milk bottles for babies. The issue is with people like you that sexualize the breasts when someone is nursing in public, not the ladies that are feeding their babies in public. Your logic is the same as telling girls to change their clothes bc it distracts the boys, instead of teaching the boys to respect the girls and their bodies.

I nursed in public and depending on my kid's mood, I sometimes had a cover and sometimes I didn't. I only got positive comments, never anything negative.

How would you like to explain you elementary school aged son, for example, why this woman is half naked?
In regards to girls and their clothes. You have not been in a high school for a long time - girls quite often dress like sluts and do need to change their clothes in order to not give boners to teachers and boys

Qfp because wow. Remember ladies, it's not men keeping you shamed, sometimes it is other women too!

ambercakes92 · January 2016

LIly436 said:

Monkeybutt80 said:

@LIly436 you are sexualizing them when they are functioning like milk bottles for babies. The issue is with people like you that sexualize the breasts when someone is nursing in public, not the ladies that are feeding their babies in public. Your logic is the same as telling girls to change their clothes bc it distracts the boys, instead of teaching the boys to respect the girls and their bodies.

I nursed in public and depending on my kid's mood, I sometimes had a cover and sometimes I didn't. I only got positive comments, never anything negative.

How would you like to explain you elementary school aged son, for example, why this woman is half naked?
In regards to girls and their clothes. You have not been in a high school for a long time - girls quite often dress like sluts and do need to change their clothes in order to not give boners to teachers and boys

---qbf--

All I can say is wtf. Are you serious?

Eta I never engage you because it's obvious that you like to troll, but this is one of the most ridiculous things I've seen from you.

Want a personalized experience?

Comments while breastfeeding

Re: Comments while breastfeeding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards