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April 2016 Moms
cmjenkies
member
BF Monday 1/18
cmjenkies
member
Let's get our bitch on, ladies..
Re: BF Monday 1/18
NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
Mine goes to my work, because we're also still open on MLKJ day. I just want to spend my day like every day, doing nothing and playing World of Warcraft, and sleeping. I won't have many days like this for much longer!
Mine goes out to the zebras missing calls and screwing the Packers out of the playoffs. Yeah, I said it. Nice coin flip!
Another goes to MH who won't listen to reason when it comes to circumcision. I'm for it and he's vehemently against it and he hung up on me when I referenced the American Academy of Pediatrics and how they mentioned that the benefits outweigh the risks. I was not being disrespectful toward him, nor was I being snotty or anything. He voiced his contempt toward me, made some comments and hung up! I called back demanding an apology and he then further dissed the AAP and said their views are laughed at throughout the world and to read what the European doctors are endorsing. Mister, what country do you live in and guess where most of our board certified pediatricians reference, who are more than qualified to provide care for your child? This conversation did not end well. He was such a beast at me and all I did was cite a credible source and mentioned to him what our pediatrician referenced before going to my source. Wow. I did not deserve to be spoken to like that.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Day started with waking up and wanting to be cuddled. He gets up to go to the bathroom and I told him to come right back because I'm being clingy. In response to that, he went out the other bathroom door and got his phone out of the car and got back in bed reading ESPN for the next hour. I just rolled over and waited for him to be done and pay attention to me, and eventually started crying (like I said, an hour of this) His response? I can't believe you're upset, I've been in here with you for over an hour. I. Lost. It. I went from crying to screaming within ten seconds and told him I'm leaving. He left the room for a little while while I calmed myself down out of hysterics and he apologized, and held me while I cried on his chest. Then he made me breakfast and we went about the rest of our day.
During this my one of my friends messages me she just ordered my baby shower gift, and another friend is goin halves on it with her. I got super excited because with how tight money is we haven't been able to get anything we need for the baby yet and I've started having panic attacks over it. Then she tells me "I didn't see anything I liked on your registry, so we got you something else. It's super cute though!" Cue more sobbing... I have only essentials on my registry because I severely need those items. I'm not going to be an ungrateful bitch and freak out on her, because I am thankful that they are getting me anything, but it really hurts that she knows our financial situation and would do that anyway. I just said thank you, I'm sure it will be lovely, and moved on. (More crying, and I started pulling tags off the five or six baby onesies we have so I can eventually wash them. When we have enough money to buy more laundry soap >.<)
I messaged my mom about the gift and to get some support. She said not to worry about it, and if it comes down to it, just exchange it and get what you need. No sweat. Then she asked me to show her what I'm using to decorate the nursery. I sent her my Pinterest board, and she messaged me back to tell me what a horrible room that will be for a baby because it doesn't have bright colors etc. I told her all of his toys and books will provide that stimulation better than a cartoon picture on a wall, and as an infant spending time face to face is better for cognitive development than that as well. My mother seriously told me she thinks it's boarder line child abuse to decorate a child's room for adults instead of thinking about what's best for them. I uninstalled FB message so she would leave me alone and cried AGAIN.
Last night was the cherry on top of my shit day Sunday though. Fiancé and I ran a couple errands, and I actually felt better by the time we got home. We had dinner and he sat down to play fallout. I told him I'm going to give you an hour and then I need sex. (Yes our relationship has gotten to a point where I have to fucking schedule sex or it doesn't happen) Well I fell asleep and wake up around three hours later and he's still playing. I don't freak out yet because I know how involving those games are, I help him finish the mission he's on, and he tells me he's going to bed. Me: Um what about sex? Him: Oh I'm too tired, that's why I'm just going to bed. I went to bed about an hour after him because I didn't want to fight and if I laid down with him I would fight him at this point. I go in the bedroom and he's on his phone reading sports center. I just laid down and didn't say anything to him. After a while he put his phone away and I started sobbing again. He knew what I was upset about so he just held me and rubbed my back. I basically told him "If something doesn't change we aren't going to last. I keep telling you exactly what I need and you don't do anything on your end to make it happen." I listed several examples from the past couple months then told him "I've gotten to this point in relationships before where it feels like I'm giving 150% all the time and the other person doesn't care that I feel like I'm dying all the time. This is what a relationship feels like when it isn't working anymore and I'm terrified of that happening between us because I love you more tha myself and I need you. But not this pale imitation of you that I've had for the last few months, but the real you that loves me more than I ever thought anyone ever would. With what I'm getting out of this relationship, I might as well be single." He just held me tighter until I calmed down and stopped shaking, then went into the bathroom for a long time (I think I heard him crying.) When he came back he held me and apologized and told me how shitty he's been and that he needs to step it up and be the man I need him to be instead of just focusing on how stressed he's been. He ended up holding me until he fell asleep and I went back out of the room and cried because I didn't know what else to do.
I feel a lot better today, but I'm definitely feeling dehydrated and have a splitting headache... Probably going to stay in bed all day again until I have to pick him up from work at 8. Oh and throw food in the crockpot for dinner around noon. (Sorry for the long word vomiting)
He also wants to cut our tenants some slack on what they need to fix before they move out the end of the month. Mainly because they did 30k+ in upgrades because they were going to buy. No. It doesn't work that way, they chaced it...I hAve no sympathy. I understand they promised to buy for the last three years but now that they aren't, the lease agreement reverts to the agreement and they need to take care of the bushes, and exterior stuff they've been neglecting because they were going to buy. I would expect my landlord to hold me to the agreement or not return part/all of the security deposit.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Yes I have looked at financial assistance, we already have food stamps, but they don't look at any bills except car payment, electric, and rent to assess if they'll help, so we don't qualify for anything else.
I'm making us go out tonight and leaving his phone in the car. He's already agreed and said he really just wants me to be happy again so I think that's a tiny step in the right direction. I have to stay positive about us working it out right now or I will snap and being pregnant I don't have the "luxury" of that right now lol.
As far as my mom goes I know there is always a 50/50 shot of encounters going that way with her. I gambled and lost this time.
I just needed to vent. Thank you all again.
As for scheduling sex, girl I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for 5. There's no shame in scheduling sex when you're both busy! Add to that super stressed, and "team morale" being low, sex drive can suffer. It's not an "end all" type thing and you shouldn't see it that way. You guys are in this together and there are programs for help, financially and emotionally.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Edited for typo >.<
ETA: it also comes with a built in curve for the toilet and it's slightly sloped, I think, so that could be a difference from a regular stepstool.
Also, since you're being followed individually for depression, would there be any way to get individual counseling? My sister and BIL did individual and marital counseling shortly after their first child was born, and they both say it's the only reason they are still married. It may also be possible to look into individuals or students working under a licensed counselor who may be able to give you a better rate.
On the plus side, it sounds like the fiancé is trying to be more understanding; however, it sounds as though he may be dealing with some situational depression of his own. I absolutely agree with your idea of a technology-free date. If it's any consolation, my relationship with DH was quite tumultuous for a while, and the biggest issues we had were money and trust. When we were happy, we were head-over-heels in love and couldn't get enough of each other and when we weren't happy, it was miserable. We didn't end up going to counseling, but in our down periods we made a point to kiss each other good morning and to only speak to each other in respectful tones. It was hard, but since we made it a point for so long it has become natural and our relationship has improved SO MUCH.
It's hard to be in so in love with someone after knowing exactly how bad other people can be, but being stuck in a place where you just don't like each other very much. When you find that person, though, expending the time and energy to fix the issues is totally worth it. Good luck, mama.
So my serious bfm could go to her, for failing three classes this semester, and for being the student that every last one of her teachers (even the classes she's getting an A in) says is capable of more and better work. Or possibly, it could go to her bio dad, for being the one who has taught her over the last 18 months that school is optional, and a diploma isn't necessary, and a degree is just ridiculous. Being in the middle of litigation with him concerning what is appropriate parenting and what is actually abusive, or at the very least neglectful and immediately psychologically damaging, I won't post the rest of the issues in public, but really, dude. Pull yourself together. You talk about your other kid being such a massive fuck up, well, what's the common denominator here? Oh, right that's you.
On a lighter note, a huge screw you goes to all the paid movie services for not having the Alan Rickman movie I want to clean my house to today. You all suck. Wth am I even paying you for?! No, Amazon, I do not want to also pay to rent movies, nor do I want to stack a second subscription on top of my Prime to watch anything!
Also, our exes might be twins. I'm also in the process of minimizing DS's time with him for a bunch of reasons. My ex thinks that schools provide government brainwashing, education is optional, and college is a racket. Since I can't speak out against him without looking like a jerk, I have to hope that the difference in our lifestyles makes the need for education important - my ex still lives with his father and barely scrapes by. That isn't all because of his lack of education though, he's also lazy af.
(sorry for the huge pictures, from mobile I can't seem to re-size them)
Ugh. It's up to 16 and no wind (!) here today, and I almost want to go out and run errands just to enjoy the "heat wave"!
DS decided to wake up screaming at 1 am this morning. DH slept through it, so I got up, calmed DS down, put him back to bed, and waited a few minutes to make sure he was asleep. I get back into bed, deal with a leg cramp, then tried to get comfortable... Only to have DS start screaming like a banshee. I'm already out of bed before I hear DH go, "I can get him," so I ignored him and tried to get DS to calm down again. Nope. Wasn't going to happen. I tried lying down with him and he kept trying to climb out of the bed, crying like I was trying to kidnap him or something. Finally DH came in, took DS, and told me to go back to bed. He ended up calling him down but stayed in DS's room for the rest of the night. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't for a couple of hours...
I then decided that this would be the morning that I would just have to suck it up and go cold turkey on caffeine. I've been drinking the max almost every day, and it just needs to stop.
I am considering trading my coffee nerd husband in for a good old-fashioned Mr. Coffee automatic brewer.