Is it wrong to tell them to F-off?

Rodkey2007 · January 2016

So, I have two guys at work who insist on telling me they don't like my kid's names (especially the one I plan on naming LO) Would out be wrong to straight up tell them to F-off? My husband and I have super common names- Robert and Carrie- and both wanted more unique names for our children. We didn't make up crazy spellings or anything, just didn't go with traditional names. The three names are Vanderlei Robert (van-der-lay) Xaria Catherine (zar-e-uh. Cath-reen) and Yliana Janice (e-Lee-on-uh. Juh-niece). Are they REALLY that strange? Especially in todays day and age?

Jellybelly119 · January 2016

Am I confused? Are you planning on pronouncing perfectly good, legit names incorrectly to make them more speshul?

lilqt3929 · January 2016

I wouldn't say they are the strangest I've ever seen but can definetly say that I've never heard of anyone named any of those (first names). I also wouldn't even have known how to pronounce them correctly if you hadn't given that info to us. If you're going to name you child something a bit more uncommon you have to be prepared for people to make comments about it, thats just the way the world is. They certainly will not be the last ones to ever make a comment to you, let alone your child.

Monkeybutt80 · January 2016

Is Vandelay going to grow up to be an import exporter? Or perhaps form the Vandelay industries?
Sorry, couldn't resist. To be honest, those are not necessarily the names I would pick or the way I would pronounce them. However, if those guys are giving you unwanted advice, just tell them to F off, whether it's about the names or parenting decisions and etc.

Cassram95 · January 2016

I have people complaining that what I'm going to name my daughter is strange. Which I don't think it is, her name is going to be EllaSandra.

Achae · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:

So, I have two guys at work who insist on telling me they don't like my kid's names (especially the one I plan on naming LO) Would out be wrong to straight up tell them to F-off? My husband and I have super common names- Robert and Carrie- and both wanted more unique names for our children. We didn't make up crazy spellings or anything, just didn't go with traditional names. The three names are Vanderlei Robert (van-der-lay) Xaria Catherine (zar-e-uh. Cath-reen) and Yliana Janice (e-Lee-on-uh. Juh-niece). Are they REALLY that strange? Especially in todays day and age?

Uh the fact that you have to spell out the pronounciation should give you a hint. The middle names are all common but I've never heard of any of the first names. I would just ignore them though, what's the point in being in their face and telling them to f off? If you like the names and are okay with hearing lots of "uhhhh... can you spell that?" then embrace it.

moomee · January 2016

I wouldn't say they're strange, per se, but I think the spelling and pronunciation are going to throw others off. People have their opinions and you're not going to like all of them. Others don't have to like your child's name...it's not their child, so what do they care?

LadyDarlene · January 2016

I think it's wrong to tell them to F off, if the topic of conversation is your babies names. They have the right to their opinion. However, if they are going out of their way to say terrible things about your babies names then by all means tell them how it is. But I wouldn't go as far as to say F off. I would tell them you don't want to hear it from them again because frankly you don't care about their opinion.

Although I feel like you kind of set them up for it. I'm a firm believer in the power of names, and honestly honey you've picked the strangest spelling which has set them up for a lifetime of people butchering their names and having to correct people, and explain to them that their parents wanted their children to have "non common names" and that is the reason it's difficult to understand how to say their names by just sounding it out. Because you wanted them to have "unique names." that is what they are going to get.

At the end of the day, When deciding my childrens names I decided to pick something I liked that incorperated everything I wanted in a name (uniqueness, culture fusion, and simplisity) while taking into consideration that it's my child but it's the name THEY have to live with, they have to go out and face the world with the name we give them, not us.

acuteangles · January 2016

My parents misspelled my name on my birth certificate, so it is pronounced differently than it reads. I have spent my life correcting boyfriends on pronunciation during intimate moments, bosses mispronouncing my name when introducing me to coworkers and clients, teachers mispronouncing my name all year long, etc.

This is your child and your decision, so ultimately it's up to you and your husband. But you asked for opinions, and mine is that you should think this through a little more. Your coworkers may be acting a little insensitively, but their sentiments aren't exactly coming out of left field, either.

cantobean · January 2016

You can name your kid whatever you want to. Vanderlai is particularly weird and does not sound like a first name to me, but it's your kid. If you don't think he'll grow up to hate it, go for it. Like @Monkeybutt80 I also thought of Vandelay Industries.

The other two first names are fine, but I'd probably go with more traditional spellings of Zaria and Elliana. I mean, who wants an X for a first initial? No offense...

Not sure what to make of the middle name pronunciations. If you spell them the traditional way, people will pronounce them the traditional way. No point in insisting on a weird pronunciation.

pbtoast · January 2016

Vandelay Industries!

To answer your question, assuming you genuinely wanted input: yes, they are strange. The spellings of the first names and the pronunciations of the middle names will set your child up for a lifetime of having to correct people. Having said that, it is most certainly your right to name your child what you choose, and it's also your right to tell people (whose opinions you haven't solicited) to F off.

Vkrosa · January 2016

Baby names can cause issues you may love them other may hate them. Everyone has their own opinions. Would you want someone who tell you to F off if you didn't like it or made fun of their child's name? Yes I have come across haters and internally I have cursed people out but honesty names are a touchy subject especially if spelt differently and/or pronounced differently.

g8trkim · January 2016

It's your right to name your kid what you want. I also think people are entitled to their opinions. If you don't want to hear them, don't share your names. But since you did share, my opinion is those names are awful. You can tell me to F off, I won't take it personally, but it won't make the names any better.

MississippiCatfish · January 2016

Don't want opinions? Don't share.

@acuteangles during intimate moments??? Oh my! Not cool.

Rodkey2007 · January 2016

As far as pronunciation, I gave it because I know they are names that people are not used to seeing/hearing. Vanderlei was actually named after (not because of 'fandom' but because we liked the name) Wanderlei Silva- a well known MMA fighter. Obviously I didn't want someone calling him "wander-lee"so I went with an alternate (but still widely accepted) spelling. Xaria's name could be pronounced like Mariah so I wanted to clarify. However, just because they start with an X, V, and Y, people tend to not be able to "figure it out". I understand that. That isn't my point. There is a lady I work with whose name is Sandra. It's pronounced Sondra. It would NEVER cross my mind to say "oh, that's weird-I don't like that". And you better believe if I ever DID say that out loud to her, I would EXPECT a 'Wtf' look- at the very least. If anything, my name's have a Portuguese/Spanish background to them. They aren't Aryabelia, Princess, LaShaq'uita, Hashtag, Niquolis or some other made up, completely random, or pop-culturish reference. I just don't think they are THAT bad (obviously, or I wouldn't have named them that!). I just can't get over the fact that someone would feel it necessary to ask on a weekly basis if I had decided to change my baby's name to a 'normal name' yet. I personally would never stoop that low. Opinion or not, being rude is just that-being rude.

pbtoast · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:
As far as pronunciation, I gave it because I know they are names that people are not used to seeing/hearing. Vanderlei was actually named after (not because of 'fandom' but because we liked the name) Wanderlei Silva- a well known MMA fighter. Obviously I didn't want someone calling him "wander-lee"so I went with an alternate (but still widely accepted) spelling. Xaria's name could be pronounced like Mariah so I wanted to clarify. However, just because they start with an X, V, and Y, people tend to not be able to "figure it out". I understand that. That isn't my point. There is a lady I work with whose name is Sandra. It's pronounced Sondra. It would NEVER cross my mind to say "oh, that's weird-I don't like that". And you better believe if I ever DID say that out loud to her, I would EXPECT a 'Wtf' look- at the very least. If anything, my name's have a Portuguese/Spanish background to them. They aren't Aryabelia, Princess, LaShaq'uita, Hashtag, Niquolis or some other made up, completely random, or pop-culturish reference. I just don't think they are THAT bad (obviously, or I wouldn't have named them that!). I just can't get over the fact that someone would feel it necessary to ask on a weekly basis if I had decided to change my baby's name to a 'normal name' yet. I personally would never stoop that low. Opinion or not, being rude is just that-being rude.

That response borders on racist...not to mention hypocritical (you're upset that your names are being criticized yet you're criticizing others' names).

Rodkey2007 · January 2016

Jellybelly119 said:
Am I confused? Are you planning on pronouncing perfectly good, legit names incorrectly to make them more speshul?

I'm not sure I understand you... Which alternate pronunciation do you consider good and legit? I'm assuming it's the girl's middle names- which in fact- are actually named after multiple generations of family members. As far as them being 'speshul' No- that is pretty much the opposite of what I did. I chose names that I liked and spelled them in a way that made sense phonetically. To me it baffles me that "Carrie" can be spelled 15 different ways and no one has a problem with it, but use an X to make a Z sound (which it does in other names) and damn it, you've crossed a line! Its just crazy.

pbtoast · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:

Jellybelly119 said:
Am I confused? Are you planning on pronouncing perfectly good, legit names incorrectly to make them more speshul?
I'm not sure I understand you... Which alternate pronunciation do you consider good and legit? I'm assuming it's the girl's middle names- which in fact- are actually named after multiple generations of family members. As far as them being 'speshul' No- that is pretty much the opposite of what I did. I chose names that I liked and spelled them in a way that made sense phonetically. To me it baffles me that "Carrie" can be spelled 15 different ways and no one has a problem with it, but use an X to make a Z sound (which it does in other names) and damn it, you've crossed a line! Its just crazy.

I believe she's referring to "Juh-niece" and "Cath-reen."

Rodkey2007 · January 2016

I'm sorry, but why would you consider those names "racist"? They are clearly popculturish at best. I've heard everything from Twilight references, Video game fairies, Elves, colors, places, whatever... I really don't care what people name their children- I was simply making a point about nonsesical spellings, capital letters and apostrophes. Which is probably why I have an issue with their comments- I just wouldn't ever be so rude as to criticize it to someone's face. Especially a pregnant woman!

MississippiCatfish · January 2016

You asked "are they REALLY that strange?" and the overwhelming majority says yes. If you don't want to know what others think about it, just don't ask. It's pretty simple. And if you really do want to know...why are you pouting about their responses?

pbtoast · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:
I'm sorry, but why would you consider those names "racist"? They are clearly popculturish at best. I've heard everything from Twilight references, Video game fairies, Elves, colors, places, whatever... I really don't care what people name their children- I was simply making a point about nonsesical spellings, capital letters and apostrophes. Which is probably why I have an issue with their comments- I just wouldn't ever be so rude as to criticize it to someone's face. Especially a pregnant woman!

You really have to ask why making an example of "LaShaq'uita" is racist?

Rodkey2007 · January 2016

pbtoast said:

Rodkey2007 said:

Jellybelly119 said:
Am I confused? Are you planning on pronouncing perfectly good, legit names incorrectly to make them more speshul?
I'm not sure I understand you... Which alternate pronunciation do you consider good and legit? I'm assuming it's the girl's middle names- which in fact- are actually named after multiple generations of family members. As far as them being 'speshul' No- that is pretty much the opposite of what I did. I chose names that I liked and spelled them in a way that made sense phonetically. To me it baffles me that "Carrie" can be spelled 15 different ways and no one has a problem with it, but use an X to make a Z sound (which it does in other names) and damn it, you've crossed a line! Its just crazy.
I believe she's referring to "Juh-niece" and "Cath-reen."

Those would be the middle names that are family names. Like I said, just because it's not the first pronunciation you jump to, doesn't mean it's wrong. I can't help how great grandma pronounced her name 110 years ago.

dragonfly321 · January 2016

YES. They really are that crazy. But if you want to spend your entire life correcting people and put your children through doing the same their entire lives, mispronounce names all you want.
But please, for the love of Pete, don't get your panties in a wad because people didn't jump on your bandwagon and tell you your speshul names were perfect. You posted on a public forum asking for opinions. People are honest and also entitled to their opinions. And DO NOT make fun of other people's names if you are going to get butthurt about people doing it to you.

g8trkim · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:

As far as pronunciation, I gave it because I know they are names that people are not used to seeing/hearing. Vanderlei was actually named after (not because of 'fandom' but because we liked the name) Wanderlei Silva- a well known MMA fighter. Obviously I didn't want someone calling him "wander-lee"so I went with an alternate (but still widely accepted) spelling. Xaria's name could be pronounced like Mariah so I wanted to clarify. However, just because they start with an X, V, and Y, people tend to not be able to "figure it out". I understand that. That isn't my point. There is a lady I work with whose name is Sandra. It's pronounced Sondra. It would NEVER cross my mind to say "oh, that's weird-I don't like that". And you better believe if I ever DID say that out loud to her, I would EXPECT a 'Wtf' look- at the very least. If anything, my name's have a Portuguese/Spanish background to them. They aren't Aryabelia, Princess, LaShaq'uita, Hashtag, Niquolis or some other made up, completely random, or pop-culturish reference. I just don't think they are THAT bad (obviously, or I wouldn't have named them that!). I just can't get over the fact that someone would feel it necessary to ask on a weekly basis if I had decided to change my baby's name to a 'normal name' yet. I personally would never stoop that low. Opinion or not, being rude is just that-being rude.

Yeah, kind of bold to ask, but maybe they are just hoping you come to your senses.

cMichelle0423 · January 2016

g8trkim said:
It's your right to name your kid what you want. I also think people are entitled to their opinions. If you don't want to hear them, don't share your names. But since you did share, my opinion is those names are awful. You can tell me to F off, I won't take it personally, but it won't make the names any better.

100% agree with this. Also, I'm all for "unique" names but some of these (based on pronunciation) sound made up.

LIly436 · January 2016

You are dooming your kids for a lifetime of correcting other people's pronunciation of their names. I was sick and tired of spelling my street name for 4 years, because it was spelled "spesul" and was again unlucky to move to another street, some idiot decided to call "spesuly", even spellcheck shows it wrong. And I have to spell my name all the time, I wish my name was Mary Smith.
Other considerations. Vanderlay will be easily teased everywhere, saying F off is rude - find more polite way of sticking to your decision.
People, before calling something racism - check the definition first

AdventureMama · January 2016

If you're that upset that a couple of guys at work give you a hard time about your kids' names, maybe you should consider the literal lifetime of teasing, confusion, and rudeness your poor children are going to encounter because of something they have no control over.

tumblefluff · January 2016

LIly436 said:

'I was sick and tired of spelling my street name for 4 years, because it was spelled "spesul" and was again unlucky to move to another street, some idiot decided to call "spesuly", even spellcheck shows it wrong.'

Same problem here. No one can actually pronounce it when they see the name or spell it correctly when they hear it. It's so bad that when the town replaced all the street signs even they misspelled it.

kalenvan · January 2016

LMAO

These are weird. That kid will ALWAYS correct people. I know someone who named their child Beowulf. My name is Kalen (Kay-lyn) and I always have to correct people so I can only imagine. Don't over think the "unique" names AND don't get offended because you asked for opinions.

g8trkim · January 2016

kalenvan said:
LMAO

These are weird. That kid will ALWAYS correct people. I know someone who named their child Beowulf. My name is Kalen (Kay-lyn) and I always have to correct people so I can only imagine. Don't over think the "unique" names AND don't get offended because you asked for opinions.

Agree with you for the most part, but people really should know how to pronounce Beowulf since it's a real name and spelled correctly.

Mamacat316 · January 2016

If you want to know if these names are "that strange", I will tell you honestly that they are BANANAS. But I think you already knew this. To echo what someone else said, if it's annoying to hear comments from coworkers, imagine what it will be like for the actual bearers of these names. PS the Art Vandelay thing will always be an issue for your son.

thisusername · January 2016

My daughters name will also be pronounced like Mariah. We are spelling it "Mariah".

Jellybelly119 · January 2016

Rodkey2007 said:

pbtoast said:

Rodkey2007 said:

Jellybelly119 said:
Am I confused? Are you planning on pronouncing perfectly good, legit names incorrectly to make them more speshul?
I'm not sure I understand you... Which alternate pronunciation do you consider good and legit? I'm assuming it's the girl's middle names- which in fact- are actually named after multiple generations of family members. As far as them being 'speshul' No- that is pretty much the opposite of what I did. I chose names that I liked and spelled them in a way that made sense phonetically. To me it baffles me that "Carrie" can be spelled 15 different ways and no one has a problem with it, but use an X to make a Z sound (which it does in other names) and damn it, you've crossed a line! Its just crazy.
I believe she's referring to "Juh-niece" and "Cath-reen."
Those would be the middle names that are family names. Like I said, just because it's not the first pronunciation you jump to, doesn't mean it's wrong. I can't help how great grandma pronounced her name 110 years ago.

By no stretch of the English language is Janice pronounced Juh-niece.

thisusername · January 2016

Also, your response to the name Aryabella being a "made up" name isn't all that accurate. It's a popular twist on the name Arabella, which means "yielding to prayer". Don't think I have to explain why some parents would choose that name.

If there's meaning behind it and you love it and feel confident in the name choices, why are people's opinions even bothering you..? It seems like you aren't as sold on these names as you'd like to be.

flas · January 2016

Catherine is Catherine is Catherine. If you want it pronounced differently then change it and make it youneek but trying to make people pronounce a name differently when it is spelled traditionally doesn't work. That's not how the English language works. It's not phone or p-hone it's just phone, pronounced the way it always has been, names are no different. Also as a Catherine for me it's almost borderline rude to try and change the way my name is pronounced just so it can be speeshul.

egraves4 · January 2016

thisusername said:
My daughters name will also be pronounced like Mariah. We are spelling it "Mariah".

What a concept.

satuttle1014 · January 2016

If they have an opinion just ignore them. It doesn't matter what their opinion of your name choice is. People have opinions on everything and people at first didn't like our name but it's not their child.

thisusername · January 2016

egraves4 said:

thisusername said:
My daughters name will also be pronounced like Mariah. We are spelling it "Mariah".
What a concept.

We like to live on the edge.

DrillSergeantCat · January 2016

Dude. Catherine is NOT pronounced cath-reen unless you're an uneducated redneck. I speak from experience. My mother blessed me with that beautiful name and the only people who mispronounce it as cath-reen are the uneducated rednecks I deal with at work.

BabySeaTurtles · January 2016

I have to agree with PP that if you have to provide pronunciation then it's pretty darn strange. That just screams of wanting to be yooneek but in a audial way instead of visual. Massive disservice to your kids for reasons previously mentioned. Your co-workers are just saying out loud what everyone will be thinking for the rest of your children's lives.