neverblushed said: Ugh. I'm sorry it's going down this way. Try not to feel too bummed, though. A shower isn't such a big deal. People close to you, including these friends, will still celebrate you becoming a mom when the baby is born.
I'd be very careful about trusting these friends in the future, though. It's pretty crummy to offer a shower, then not plan it, and not even have the nerve to face up and tell the MTB that it's not going to happen.
They may still think they're going to pull it off, though. If the friend is really as much of a procrastinator as you say, 3 weeks out may still seem "do-able" to her.
When they asked about decorations and such, I told them nothing over the top. At this point, now that the room is booked and invitations can be done it should come together fairly easily. I mean, there's 3 of them, so if they can't handle that, there's serious issues.
I mistakenly thought her dragging her feet planning her wedding was because she was having second thoughts about it. I see now, that's just how she rolls.
neverblushed said: Ugh. I'm sorry it's going down this way. Try not to feel too bummed, though. A shower isn't such a big deal. People close to you, including these friends, will still celebrate you becoming a mom when the baby is born.
I'd be very careful about trusting these friends in the future, though. It's pretty crummy to offer a shower, then not plan it, and not even have the nerve to face up and tell the MTB that it's not going to happen.
They may still think they're going to pull it off, though. If the friend is really as much of a procrastinator as you say, 3 weeks out may still seem "do-able" to her.
When they asked about decorations and such, I told them nothing over the top. At this point, now that the room is booked and invitations can be done it should come together fairly easily. I mean, there's 3 of them, so if they can't handle that, there's serious issues.
I mistakenly thought her dragging her feet planning her wedding was because she was having second thoughts about it. I see now, that's just how she rolls.
@antoto it's tomorrow! It's been a bit of a mess and I had to get more involved than I wanted or intended to, but the hostess who sent the invitations ended up not sending them until the 22nd so many weren't postdated until the 23rd, 24th, or after. They were decorative paper (not cardstock) and many were damaged in transit. Some of those damaged ones were delivered but others were not. I spent a large portion of Monday evening contacting everyone on my invite list via Facebook ensuring that they received their invitations.
Then, she got upset that people were RSVPing to me and not her. I tried to explain to her that people these days just don't get how important it is to RSVP and that if they do they often will RSVP to the person they know. Especially in this case, since I was already having to ask them if they even received their invitation they just told me whether they'd be there or not.
@antoto it's tomorrow! It's been a bit of a mess and I had to get more involved than I wanted or intended to, but the hostess who sent the invitations ended up not sending them until the 22nd so many weren't postdated until the 23rd, 24th, or after. They were decorative paper (not cardstock) and many were damaged in transit. Some of those damaged ones were delivered but others were not. I spent a large portion of Monday evening contacting everyone on my invite list via Facebook ensuring that they received their invitations.
Then, she got upset that people were RSVPing to me and not her. I tried to explain to her that people these days just don't get how important it is to RSVP and that if they do they often will RSVP to the person they know. Especially in this case, since I was already having to ask them if they even received their invitation they just told me whether they'd be there or not.
Now we're expecting 2-4" of snow tomorrow. Yay.
I kinda just had the same issue with my invites. My cousin did them on the printer, but then her ink was dried up so she actually TOLD me she may possibly wait until she got back to work after Christmas break (school librarian) and print/send them out then. I freaked- We returned January 4th so she would need time to print/stuff/stamp/address/send, she had an RSVP of January 10th, and my shower is the 18th. That was cutting it close to me. I told my mom who told ME- since my cousin emailed me a copy of it for approval (didn't need to give it she just wanted to show me)- to at least email it to my friends/coworkers so they had appropriate notice. I emailed it Monday and got a few replies...she had actually sent them out so people were getting them at the same time as my email lol. But better safe than sorry!
And now she too is upset that she only has 3 RSVP's out of the 30-40 invites we sent. People just don't rsvp like they used to. She informed me my mother didn't rsvp either. She made my aunt (her mother) RSVP when its at her (my aunt's) house. At this point I don't care. The important ones will be there and that's all that matters to me.
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
I have come to realize through these boards that shower etiquette is totally either regional or within groups of people.
Here's its not really that uncommon at all to be slightly involved in your shower one way or the other. I provided my girls with some basic ideas, a guest list, etc. and being that i too have 3-co hostesses, when one of them is slacking in any way, the other ones have asked me to make executive decisions. These girls did ask to plan the shower, and they have ultimate rule over everything. Even if they ask me, i usually say well this would be okay but im fine with whatever you guys choose.
What im describing here, is pretty much standard practice among baby/bridal showers here. You don't normally see anything prior, nothing is usually at your house, or done within your view, but usually you have SOME idea of whats going on. Also i have found that bridal showers tend to be a little more kept from the bride than baby showes are kept from the mother. I didnt know the date of my bridal shower, but i knew the theme and i knew where it was going to be. I do know the date of my baby shower, where it is, and what the theme is. Again very common here.
So anyway - despite that i think this thread is a little old now. I think it was fine to say something kind and gently. Im glad you spoke up and i hope that your shower turned out atleast alright!
The shower turned out nice. Lots of friends and family came. There were a few that said they were coming that didn't show up or let me know they weren't coming, but we had snow yesterday and nobody here can drive in any type of precipitation so maybe that's what it was. There were a couple that didn't RSVP that did show up so it balanced out.
Hostess 2 was super mad at Hostess 1 though, because she did absolutely nothing except book the room and buy a cake. Hostess 1 actually admitted to me that there almost wasn't a cake because she forgot to order it until around noon on Friday and the bakery requires 24 hour notice. So Hostesses 2 and 3 spent time and money, did all the set up, tear down, and clean up while the one who actually offered to throw the thing did nothing.
The shower turned out nice. Lots of friends and family came. There were a few that said they were coming that didn't show up or let me know they weren't coming, but we had snow yesterday and nobody here can drive in any type of precipitation so maybe that's what it was. There were a couple that didn't RSVP that did show up so it balanced out.
Hostess 2 was super mad at Hostess 1 though, because she did absolutely nothing except book the room and buy a cake. Hostess 1 actually admitted to me that there almost wasn't a cake because she forgot to order it until around noon on Friday and the bakery requires 24 hour notice. So Hostesses 2 and 3 spent time and money, did all the set up, tear down, and clean up while the one who actually offered to throw the thing did nothing.
Holy cow I can't believe any of them were even talking to you about the money part or even complaining about each other. I would have covered my ears or something, haha. I'm glad that you had a good time. I'm sure all of the hostesses really care about you and love you.
Re: Should I push?
I mistakenly thought her dragging her feet planning her wedding was because she was having second thoughts about it. I see now, that's just how she rolls.
Then, she got upset that people were RSVPing to me and not her. I tried to explain to her that people these days just don't get how important it is to RSVP and that if they do they often will RSVP to the person they know. Especially in this case, since I was already having to ask them if they even received their invitation they just told me whether they'd be there or not.
Now we're expecting 2-4" of snow tomorrow. Yay.
I kinda just had the same issue with my invites. My cousin did them on the printer, but then her ink was dried up so she actually TOLD me she may possibly wait until she got back to work after Christmas break (school librarian) and print/send them out then. I freaked- We returned January 4th so she would need time to print/stuff/stamp/address/send, she had an RSVP of January 10th, and my shower is the 18th. That was cutting it close to me. I told my mom who told ME- since my cousin emailed me a copy of it for approval (didn't need to give it she just wanted to show me)- to at least email it to my friends/coworkers so they had appropriate notice. I emailed it Monday and got a few replies...she had actually sent them out so people were getting them at the same time as my email lol. But better safe than sorry!
And now she too is upset that she only has 3 RSVP's out of the 30-40 invites we sent. People just don't rsvp like they used to. She informed me my mother didn't rsvp either. She made my aunt (her mother) RSVP when its at her (my aunt's) house. At this point I don't care. The important ones will be there and that's all that matters to me.
Here's its not really that uncommon at all to be slightly involved in your shower one way or the other. I provided my girls with some basic ideas, a guest list, etc. and being that i too have 3-co hostesses, when one of them is slacking in any way, the other ones have asked me to make executive decisions. These girls did ask to plan the shower, and they have ultimate rule over everything. Even if they ask me, i usually say well this would be okay but im fine with whatever you guys choose.
What im describing here, is pretty much standard practice among baby/bridal showers here. You don't normally see anything prior, nothing is usually at your house, or done within your view, but usually you have SOME idea of whats going on. Also i have found that bridal showers tend to be a little more kept from the bride than baby showes are kept from the mother. I didnt know the date of my bridal shower, but i knew the theme and i knew where it was going to be. I do know the date of my baby shower, where it is, and what the theme is. Again very common here.
So anyway - despite that i think this thread is a little old now. I think it was fine to say something kind and gently. Im glad you spoke up and i hope that your shower turned out atleast alright!
Hostess 2 was super mad at Hostess 1 though, because she did absolutely nothing except book the room and buy a cake. Hostess 1 actually admitted to me that there almost wasn't a cake because she forgot to order it until around noon on Friday and the bakery requires 24 hour notice. So Hostesses 2 and 3 spent time and money, did all the set up, tear down, and clean up while the one who actually offered to throw the thing did nothing.