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November 2015 Moms
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Things random strangers say

gipfishgipfish member
in November 2015 Moms
Because we all know what good parenting advice random strangers give, here's the thread to share it all.

My favorite so far: "Aw, she is so precious! Just don't ruin it by raising her to be a spoiled kid."

Thank you, random stranger. I was totally planning to purposefully raise a brat, but now I think I won't. You have reformed me.

What advice or comments have you received from random strangers?
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Re: Things random strangers say

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  • angelinthepit23angelinthepit23 member
    When I'm bottle feeding LO in public randoms ask "what are you feeding him?" Seriously?!? I don't know you, why are you asking and why would you think that's appropriate? I'm going to start saying "it's formula and don't worry I already know how horrible of a mother you now think I am."
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  • RaisingJulianRaisingJulian member
    MargaretC5 said:

    "Is this your first?"
    "No, my second."
    "Is your husband getting snipped now that you have two?"
    I had no idea what to say... why is a stranger asking about my husband's penis?

    I usually say "no we're having 8 kids then we'll think about it" lol
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  • angelinthepit23angelinthepit23 member
    dramaphile said:

    angelinthepit23 said:

    When I'm bottle feeding LO in public randoms ask "what are you feeding him?" Seriously?!? I don't know you, why are you asking and why would you think that's appropriate? I'm going to start saying "it's formula and don't worry I already know how horrible of a mother you now think I am."

    You should tell them it's full of pina colada, baby loves his rum!
    Love it!
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  • Shelbyville30Shelbyville30 member
    I had my 6 week PP appt yesterday. After the appointment my husband and I wanted to head up to the Birthing Center to thank all the nurses and my midwife, have them meet our son 5 1/2 weeks later.

    An elderly woman joined us on the elevator as we went up one floor. She asked how old the baby was and followed it with, he shouldn't be here... There are too many germs.

    Listen lady... We had an appointment and it's really none of your business anyways!! I don't care if I was licking the floors and kissing my son... Back off.
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  • rachswirachswi member
    "Do you breast feed or formula feed?" Um. Why do you care?

    Also a greeter at Sam's Club got super close to him and upset him (nice to see he already has a sense of stranger danger). Get away from my baby.
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  • kmd91kmd91 member
    GoogleMD said:

    Hmm I must have an awesome resting bitch face as no one has tried to touch my baby or given me unwelcomed parenting advice

    Right? Same here. Like, I've had people move to look at him. Or ask me how old he is, but that's the extent of it.

    While I was pregnant I had a McDonald's employee and a convenience store cashier offer some unsolicited advice, but I'll take that any day over strangers trying to touch my baby.
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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    I'm so sick of random strangers commenting on how well DS is/ isn't bundled up for the cold weather. And it always happens on the darn parking garage elevator at the hospital.

    Also, not total strangers, but even the supervising pediatrician gave me crap last week at DS's 6w appt for EPing. Seriously, do my reasons matter that much? He's getting breast milk. I'd much rather FF and not have to pump every 3 or 4 hr, but this is what I'm doing. Yeesh.
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

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  • sadyy131sadyy131 member
    bellie1223 said:

    RaisingJulian said:

    MargaretC5 said:

    "Is this your first?"
    "No, my second."
    "Is your husband getting snipped now that you have two?"
    I had no idea what to say... why is a stranger asking about my husband's penis?

    I usually say "no we're having 8 kids then we'll think about it" lol
    When people ask us how many we're having my husband says he always wanted a big family so we're planning on an even dozen, then when people comment on how much work that will be he tells them we plan to keep 6 with us and 6 at his mom's house then rotate them quarterly. People just don't know how to respond to that and move along awkwardly.
    Lmfao!!!!
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  • elbouelbou member
    bellie1223 said:
    "Is this your first?" "No, my second." "Is your husband getting snipped now that you have two?" I had no idea what to say... why is a stranger asking about my husband's penis?
    I usually say "no we're having 8 kids then we'll think about it" lol
    When people ask us how many we're having my husband says he always wanted a big family so we're planning on an even dozen, then when people comment on how much work that will be he tells them we plan to keep 6 with us and 6 at his mom's house then rotate them quarterly. People just don't know how to respond to that and move along awkwardly.

    Your husband sounds like a fun person! Love this answer, hahaha!


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  • threatlevelmidnightthreatlevelmidnight member
    angelinthepit23 said:

    When I'm bottle feeding LO in public randoms ask "what are you feeding him?" Seriously?!? I don't know you, why are you asking and why would you think that's appropriate? I'm going to start saying "it's formula and don't worry I already know how horrible of a mother you now think I am."

    Wow this astonishes me! You get crap if you breast feed in public and ou get crap if you bottle feed. Guess our babies should starve.
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    Not so much what a stranger said but what they did. We took our 2 month old to the ER and he was fussy. A nurse literally took him
    out of my arms and started comforting him. Bitch give me back my baby....
    Report Reply
  • ShianeNicoleShianeNicole member
    At my DDs first appointment our pedi asked how BF was going, I explained her bad latch and tongue tie, then told her I was EPing. She told me EPing wasn't "realistic", that I needed my sleep, and gave me formula samples. Well when we went back for 2 month shots, she asked what formula we were using and I said I'm still EPing and she said I really need to see a LC (which we already do) and I need to get her to nurse because I can't EP forever, it's too much stress..

    It is extremely stressful for us, but that's what we have to do at this point. I've never in my life heard of a pedi pushing formula so much. There is nothing wrong with formula but I am not ready to give up on breast milk and I would love to try to get her to nurse again. It's been about 5 weeks since we've tried. Waiting on her to get bigger because she was very small at birth. Also have since gotten her tongue tie corrected. Needless to say we switched pedis before we even left the office. Regardless of which we choose, pumping or formula, it's our choice.. and she's growing at an amazing rate. We're doing just fine.
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  • helsbels222helsbels222 member
    I must have a fairly decent resting bitch face as well because no one has tried to touch my baby. However that doesn't stop them from telling me I'm done having kids since I have one of each. We actually are done but when did it become acceptable to tell strangers when they are done having children?
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  • sadyy131sadyy131 member
    edited January 2016
    First, I switches my pedi at the office as well. That man was a horror. He said that if I did not have my baby's skin tag on her eat removed by her 2 month visit, he would take it off himself. He was super threatening and rude. The only reason we were going to get it removed was for cosmetic reasons. When we went to see the plastic surgeon two days later she said she wouldn't even take it off until she was a year old. So screw you dude, screw you.

    Also, one more person tell me I'm fricking spoiling my baby for holding her a lot, I'll lose it. I have a print out of a recent study in psychology that found that you cannot, in fact, spoil a newborn. I keep it in my diaper bag for perpetrators. My SOs uncle says that I'm spoiling her with everything. If I play music for her to calm down, he says "now she won't be able to sleep without music. You'll be playing music to calm her down until she's 20". Like okay? Cool? Don't think you can spoil a baby with music either.

    Super UO but we started to co-sleep. That and the rock n play. Disclaimer, I know that everyone has mixed views on this but we got the okay from our pedi because in his words, "a sane mom is better mom than an overtired one." Since my SO works nights we have the whole bed to snuggle, we even put those mesh rails you put on toddler beds just in case. It's the only way she sleeps almost through the night, which is amazing since I work 11 hour days so we need the rest. People always ask me where she sleeps I hate having to defend myself. If I say we co-sleep people say she'll be in bed with us until she's 30. If I say she sleeps in the rock n play people freak out about SIDS. My LO refuses to sleep in her bassinet/ pack n play and this is the only way I can keep my sanity.

    Lastly, whenever I'm out with the girl I nanny (18 mo) and my baby, everyone always says "wow 2 under two?" Or "why would you have them so close together?" First of all, she isn't mine. Secondly, even if she was how is that your business?

    Sorry for the rant, I just really hate people. God bless my heart if I ever give unsolicited advice.
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  • Pontot31Pontot31 member
    sadyy131 said:

    First, I switches my pedi at the office as well. That man was a horror. He said that if I did not have my baby's skin tag on her eat removed by her 2 month visit, he would take it off himself. He was super threatening and rude. The only reason we were going to get it removed was for cosmetic reasons. When we went to see the plastic surgeon two days later she said she wouldn't even take it off until she was a year old. So screw you dude, screw you.

    Also, one more person tell me I'm fricking spoiling my baby for holding her a lot, I'll lose it. I have a print out of a recent study in psychology that found that you cannot, in fact, spoil a newborn. I keep it in my diaper bag for perpetrators. My SOs uncle says that I'm spoiling her with everything. If I play music for her to calm down, he says "now she won't be able to sleep without music. You'll be playing music to calm her down until she's 20". Like okay? Cool? Don't think you can spoil a baby with music either.

    Super UO but we started to co-sleep. That and the rock n play. Disclaimer, I know that everyone has mixed views on this but we got the okay from our pedi because in his words, "a sane mom is better mom than an overtired one." Since my SO works nights we have the whole bed to snuggle, we even put those mesh rails you put on toddler beds just in case. It's the only way she sleeps almost through the night, which is amazing since I work 11 hour days so we need the rest. People always ask me where she sleeps I hate having to defend myself. If I say we co-sleep people say she'll be in bed with us until she's 30. If I say she sleeps in the rock n play people freak out about SIDS. My LO refuses to sleep in her bassinet/ pack n play and this is the only way I can keep my sanity.

    Lastly, whenever I'm out with the girl I nanny (18 mo) and my baby, everyone always says "wow 2 under two?" Or "why would you have them so close together?" First of all, she isn't mine. Secondly, even if she was how is that your business?

    Sorry for the rant, I just really hate people. God bless my heart if I ever give unsolicited advice.

    Don't feel bad about cosleeping. It sounds like yoir doing everything right.
    My husband also works nights so it's just easier to have them in bed with me. We finally took the toddler bed rails off our king sized bed last spring when my daughter moved to her own room but I foresee them coming back soon.
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  • rachswirachswi member
    @sadyy131 we chose to cosleep as well so we got a "nest" that goes between the 2 of us. LO seems to only be able to sleep on his stomach no matter how many things we tried, so having him right there with us in bed made us feel better about him being on his belly because his nest has a firm mattress and either one of us can easily check to make sure he's okay (we decided on the nest between us when my husband kept crawling over me to check on LO in the middle of the night). But we've gotten the same thing about how he'll be in our bed till he's 30. False. Once he starts rolling over he won't sleep in bed with us anymore. In fact, he'll probably move to his crib in his own room at that point. Right now though, it was our choice to cosleep (which is a choice we never thought we'd make... We really never wanted to do it because we wanted our bed to ourselves) and we are happy with that decision
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  • MargaretC5MargaretC5 member
    ShianeNicole said:

    At my DDs first appointment our pedi asked how BF was going, I explained her bad latch and tongue tie, then told her I was EPing. She told me EPing wasn't "realistic", that I needed my sleep, and gave me formula samples. Well when we went back for 2 month shots, she asked what formula we were using and I said I'm still EPing and she said I really need to see a LC (which we already do) and I need to get her to nurse because I can't EP forever, it's too much stress..

    It is extremely stressful for us, but that's what we have to do at this point. I've never in my life heard of a pedi pushing formula so much. There is nothing wrong with formula but I am not ready to give up on breast milk and I would love to try to get her to nurse again. It's been about 5 weeks since we've tried. Waiting on her to get bigger because she was very small at birth. Also have since gotten her tongue tie corrected. Needless to say we switched pedis before we even left the office. Regardless of which we choose, pumping or formula, it's our choice.. and she's growing at an amazing rate. We're doing just fine.

    I think there is a lot of pressure on moms to BF and I am sure she thought she was helping, but that pedi definitely could of handled that better.
    When I went back to work after DS our pedi mentioned that pumping was a lot of work and that it was ok if we needed to supplement or if it did not work out. He also said to think of BF as extra credit. I think he handled it really well, trying to have me not put too much pressure on myself ,but also not pushing formula. (Even though I appreciate the conversation I never had an issue pumping at work, and continued to do so until DS was 14 months old).
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  • RaisingJulianRaisingJulian member
    Just found out our pedi doesn't accept LO's insurance anymore (it's through the state) when I tried to get an appointment for LO's 2 month check up. I asked what could I do because no where seems to take his insurance anymore. (Keep in mind I wasn't rude at all& my 3 yr old has the same insurance but they accept him) She said "maybe u should try & get a job with insurance & u wouldn't have this problem instead of free loading" usually I am so thick skinned & bs like this doesn't bother me but I've been feeling so guilty about not being able to find a full time job & giving my boys a better life. Lets just say I left that office crying & made a complete fool of myself. Now I'm sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because a complete stranger was a complete bitch.
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  • sadyy131sadyy131 member
    RaisingJulian said:

    Just found out our pedi doesn't accept LO's insurance anymore (it's through the state) when I tried to get an appointment for LO's 2 month check up. I asked what could I do because no where seems to take his insurance anymore. (Keep in mind I wasn't rude at all& my 3 yr old has the same insurance but they accept him) She said "maybe u should try & get a job with insurance & u wouldn't have this problem instead of free loading" usually I am so thick skinned & bs like this doesn't bother me but I've been feeling so guilty about not being able to find a full time job & giving my boys a better life. Lets just say I left that office crying & made a complete fool of myself. Now I'm sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because a complete stranger was a complete bitch.

    Report her. That's bull. We have Medicaid and I had to wait over 2 hours for a specialist when they were taking people who just walked in before me, only because I had Medicaid. You can bet your buttons I reported that.
    Report Reply
  • threatlevelmidnightthreatlevelmidnight member
    edited January 2016
    sadyy131 said:

    First, I switches my pedi at the office as well. That man was a horror. He said that if I did not have my baby's skin tag on her eat removed by her 2 month visit, he would take it off himself. He was super threatening and rude. The only reason we were going to get it removed was for cosmetic reasons. When we went to see the plastic surgeon two days later she said she wouldn't even take it off until she was a year old. So screw you dude, screw you.

    Also, one more person tell me I'm fricking spoiling my baby for holding her a lot, I'll lose it. I have a print out of a recent study in psychology that found that you cannot, in fact, spoil a newborn. I keep it in my diaper bag for perpetrators. My SOs uncle says that I'm spoiling her with everything. If I play music for her to calm down, he says "now she won't be able to sleep without music. You'll be playing music to calm her down until she's 20". Like okay? Cool? Don't think you can spoil a baby with music either.

    Super UO but we started to co-sleep. That and the rock n play. Disclaimer, I know that everyone has mixed views on this but we got the okay from our pedi because in his words, "a sane mom is better mom than an overtired one." Since my SO works nights we have the whole bed to snuggle, we even put those mesh rails you put on toddler beds just in case. It's the only way she sleeps almost through the night, which is amazing since I work 11 hour days so we need the rest. People always ask me where she sleeps I hate having to defend myself. If I say we co-sleep people say she'll be in bed with us until she's 30. If I say she sleeps in the rock n play people freak out about SIDS. My LO refuses to sleep in her bassinet/ pack n play and this is the only way I can keep my sanity.

    Lastly, whenever I'm out with the girl I nanny (18 mo) and my baby, everyone always says "wow 2 under two?" Or "why would you have them so close together?" First of all, she isn't mine. Secondly, even if she was how is that your business?

    Sorry for the rant, I just really hate people. God bless my heart if I ever give unsolicited advice.

    I co sleep too! LO refuses rock n play, crib, swing, anything. If he sleeps with me, he sleeps a good 5-7 hours!! To each their own. When people ask me how he sleeps, I say "good! We get 5-7 hours at a time!" I don't mention co sleeping or anything and for some reason, they always look like they were wanting me to say that he sleeps terribly.

    Edited because autocorrect
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    RaisingJulian said:

    Just found out our pedi doesn't accept LO's insurance anymore (it's through the state) when I tried to get an appointment for LO's 2 month check up. I asked what could I do because no where seems to take his insurance anymore. (Keep in mind I wasn't rude at all& my 3 yr old has the same insurance but they accept him) She said "maybe u should try & get a job with insurance & u wouldn't have this problem instead of free loading" usually I am so thick skinned & bs like this doesn't bother me but I've been feeling so guilty about not being able to find a full time job & giving my boys a better life. Lets just say I left that office crying & made a complete fool of myself. Now I'm sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because a complete stranger was a complete bitch.

    Ugh! You did not make a fool of yourself, that woman made a fool of herself.
    That's a horrible thing to say.

    Also, to all those cosleeping; I feel better knowing I'm not the only one feeling awkward or guilty when someone asks about where he sleeps.
    Which people actually ask.. Lol.
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    MercyC1130 said:

    RaisingJulian said:

    Just found out our pedi doesn't accept LO's insurance anymore (it's through the state) when I tried to get an appointment for LO's 2 month check up. I asked what could I do because no where seems to take his insurance anymore. (Keep in mind I wasn't rude at all& my 3 yr old has the same insurance but they accept him) She said "maybe u should try & get a job with insurance & u wouldn't have this problem instead of free loading" usually I am so thick skinned & bs like this doesn't bother me but I've been feeling so guilty about not being able to find a full time job & giving my boys a better life. Lets just say I left that office crying & made a complete fool of myself. Now I'm sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because a complete stranger was a complete bitch.

    You should have grabbed her by her shirt collar headbutted her and then smiled and said "thanks for the advice" and walked out.

    In all seriousness though, some people are freaking awful! Find her director and report her and demand something be done! Please don't just let that go. It's people like that in this world that make me sick!

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  • wulfpackgirlwulfpackgirl member
    taykerslake said:

    I hate the always having to defend myself about the cosleeping thing. Yes I know the risks. Yes I take precautionary actions to do it safely. And we are both sleeping better than when I was awake all night fighting to put him back to sleep when I would lay him in the pack and play. At least in bed he self soothes himself to sleep when he knows I'm laying beside him

    Same here. Little man sleeps like a champ snuggled up to mama. He slept great in the rock n play. But getting him out of that into pack n play in our room has been a challenge so he usually ends up in bed with us. Hey we're all getting sleep!
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  • keallenrmtkeallenrmt member
    No one has said anything rude or stupid to me since LO was born but I keep getting told I'm "doing well" - what is that supposed to mean? I have an older DD, this isn't new to me.. Favourite thing said to me while I was preg was from an old bat in a grocery store parking lot, told me I needed to put a coat on so I wouldn't freeze my baby. It was 16 Celsius that day and I was overheating already, pretty sure she wasn't freezing in my belly.
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  • eamarateamarat member
    After she asked how old LO is (7 weeks at the time) an old lady then said "oh he's such a big baby." Uh, not really, no. He's still in NB in some things, quite a few of his 0-3s are still too big.

    And I've probably said this before but she's still doing it. My mother always comments on what a "good baby" he is because he's chill as fuck, isn't colicky, doesn't really have issues with gas, and is in general having no issues. As if babies that are hurting are "bad" babies. I asked her if that meant that she would call him a "bad baby" if he started crying more, and she said "of course not" and I gave her eyes to say "my point." But I don't think she understood.
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  • sadyy131sadyy131 member
    GoogleMD said:

    sadyy131 said:

    RaisingJulian said:

    Just found out our pedi doesn't accept LO's insurance anymore (it's through the state) when I tried to get an appointment for LO's 2 month check up. I asked what could I do because no where seems to take his insurance anymore. (Keep in mind I wasn't rude at all& my 3 yr old has the same insurance but they accept him) She said "maybe u should try & get a job with insurance & u wouldn't have this problem instead of free loading" usually I am so thick skinned & bs like this doesn't bother me but I've been feeling so guilty about not being able to find a full time job & giving my boys a better life. Lets just say I left that office crying & made a complete fool of myself. Now I'm sitting at home feeling sorry for myself because a complete stranger was a complete bitch.

    Report her. That's bull. We have Medicaid and I had to wait over 2 hours for a specialist when they were taking people who just walked in before me, only because I had Medicaid. You can bet your buttons I reported that.
    You have no idea why other patients were seen before you, but I am confident it was not because of your insurance. I have phenomenal private insurance and waited an hour and 25 min for my GI appointment. Patients are seen by appointment OR based on acuity. If your waiting that means you are not the most critical patient (that's a good thing). Doctors don't care and often don't know what insurance you have, it is delt with by billing.
    Doctors generally lose money everytime they see a medicaid patient (that is why many are no longer taking medicaid), so those other patients with private insurance is what allows your doctor to be able to afford to see you.
    The doctor was amazing. It was the staff. And it was very clearly discrimination. My daughter had one of the first appointments of the day (it was for a cosmetic plastic surgeon to remove an ear tag). The second I gave the front woman my insurance she made a face and said ohh. She told me to go sit. I spoke to some of the patients that were taken in before me, and there appointments were at 1030, 11, etc. finally after two hours I went back up to ask if they had forgotten me and surely they did. They never took my sticker of the sign in sheet, even though over 15 people signed in below me. And the front woman again was extremely rude. I am aware that with private insurance you have to wait as well. I have had private insurance my whole life and waited over an hour to see my orthopedic every time. It wasn't the wait, it was the rudeness and the reason why I was forced to wait. The appointment was for my newborn. And they listened to her fussing the whole time in the lobby and "forgot we were there". Bull.
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  • rachswirachswi member
    @eamarat I really really hate it when people ask me if Zeke is a good baby. I don't know how to answer that. First - what determines if a baby is "good" or not? It's not like he is purposefully behaving or misbehaving. But he does cry a lot and he's generally unhappy and uninterested in most things so trying to keep him calm during the day is super tough. But I love him and I wouldn't trade him for the world!
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  • ShianeNicoleShianeNicole member
    I'm sick of people asking if my child can breathe under her car seat cover. Everyone asks. My FIL just asked at church. I want to say "nope, just hoping that she makes it until we get inside.." like really people? It currently 5 degrees with a real feel of -12 degrees. What do they want from me? In church I unzipped her cover, then she got chilly because it's freezing in there ( I always check her temp, via the back of her neck)so I threw a small blanket over her car seat because I thought the cover was too warm for inside. Then again he leans up over my shoulder and says "how is she getting air in there?" I responded with a very firm "SHE JUST IS!" Do people not understand that all of them can breathe under a blanket? It's not like she's tangled up in them. It's a firm, flat, cover or blanket stretched over the car seat.
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  • cbolton19cbolton19 member
    Gah! I haven't gotten many weird comments.... Until yesterday! I was at target and the older gentlemen (if you can call him that) asked me if I stole my baby. Not sure if he was trying to be funny or not. Then his daughter (I think!) asked if she was a boy or girl, I said girl. While she was asking the dad was rambling on and on about how I need to raise him right and blah blah blah then the daughter corrected him that she was a girl and he stops and goes oh, well then you need to make sure you get her the proper clothes when she is older. It was so weird. She is 3 months old why do you care what she is going to wear as a teenager. Wtf man? And did I steal her?! What does that even mean? I did get asked if she was mix-race the other day (she isn't, and the comment was totally nice and in context, no judgement from the other mom, so not weird) but I wonder if that is what he thought? Either way, it was weird.
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