The Thread Police Are Twatwaffles.

dshannah · January 2016

Bltbear82 said:

@dshannah Also, we can't physically police threads because we don't have that authority. They did away with mods and we are not BGs. So really you could just scroll on past whatever was said that bothered you so much.
You know, holding yourself to the same standard you're holding everyone else to.

Because I wasn't doing it for me.

I can scroll past, but the discussion, once squashed by derailment and mockery, stops. People feel shamed. The post I chose (finally) to not scroll past was a post that effectively halted an active discussion on an UO THursday Board because it was Saturday.

I was miffed, don't get me wrong, but I was mostly mad that other voices were being squelched, and I decided to say something about it.

And, as an analogy: none of us scrolled past when that (now banned) poster came on and attacked laurenmdrn16. We stepped in and reported her and she was booted, and it let Lauren know we had her back.

This was a less extreme case, but that's what I was trying to do with the initial post in the UO Thursday thread: to let other people know that they could keep talking, and maybe put the kibosh on a type of dismissive post that's been all-too-common on this board. Then all hell broke loose, with people defending the policing, people coming out to say they did not like the policing, and then people policing those folks by gif-ing at them. So I started some new threads.

Sorry, @lalala2004, didn't realize that it was against the TOU to object to board tone. Though I think that's a bit odd: how else are we supposed to object to bad behavior by a vocal minority of bumpers?

doozer1345 · January 2016

yogahh said:

@dshannah - Thanks for sticking up for what you believe in! I agree that some people on this board seem to epitomize the "Mean Girl" thing (with no irony, since apparently that's the buzzword for today).

I joined The Bump to have allies in this very exciting and confusing (and sometimes scary) time. I had hoped that a community of women going through much the same things could support one another without becoming ... whatever it is you become when you dismiss other people with gifs because you lack emotional capacity or maturity to deal with people on the level. Or people who welcome people to the board by basically making them feel shitty right away - I don't think that's what this community is supposed to be about, and it makes me angry and sad that it seems to be what it's turned into.

Not sure what this thread is going to do but indicate which people to avoid,but *shrugs, I am slowly coming to terms with that as just life if you want in on this community ....
@yogahh @sarawifenow @doozer1345 Are we the mean girls??
Can I be lacey chebert (so?) I find her so fetch.

DH is soooo obsessed with her.

doozer1345 · January 2016

dshannah said:

Bltbear82 said:

@dshannah Also, we can't physically police threads because we don't have that authority. They did away with mods and we are not BGs. So really you could just scroll on past whatever was said that bothered you so much.
You know, holding yourself to the same standard you're holding everyone else to.

Because I wasn't doing it for me.

I can scroll past, but the discussion, once squashed by derailment and mockery, stops. People feel shamed. The post I chose (finally) to not scroll past was a post that effectively halted an active discussion on an UO THursday Board because it was Saturday.

I was miffed, don't get me wrong, but I was mostly mad that other voices were being squelched, and I decided to say something about it.

And, as an analogy: none of us scrolled past when that (now banned) poster came on and attacked laurenmdrn16. We stepped in and reported her and she was booted, and it let Lauren know we had her back.

This was a less extreme case, but that's what I was trying to do with the initial post in the UO Thursday thread: to let other people know that they could keep talking, and maybe put the kibosh on a type of dismissive post that's been all-too-common on this board. Then all hell broke loose, with people defending the policing, people coming out to say they did not like the policing, and then people policing those folks by gif-ing at them. So I started some new threads.

Sorry, @lalala2004, didn't realize that it was against the TOU to object to board tone. Though I think that's a bit odd: how else are we supposed to object to bad behavior by a vocal minority of bumpers?

Probably start by not calling people names.

dshannah · January 2016

@doozer1345 and others: I agree that I did not word my post in the most productive way possible. Hence my other thread (since you can't delete these).

But I did not "start out" by calling people names, and I never mentioned anyone in particular. I was frustrated after yet another mockery-filled derailment of a discussion, and I was responding to the level of maturity and respect that I saw in evidence there. Again, I cursed too much, and I regret that. But the sentiments are there: people were being really mean and dismissive and I felt it needed to be responded to.

And yes, I am taking this whole board too seriously and I might be banned for several TOU violations because I expressed myself the way I did. But this board is actually important, and I actually do care about the board and the people who come to it: we all came here because we want to share our experiences, good and bad, with people who are going through or have gone through similar things. It's an important space, and I know I have learned a lot and shared a lot of what little advice I have to offer.

It made me really angry to see how what seems to be 10 posters (whom I also agree with on many other things!) seem to be telling others what to post and what not to post. And so, yes, @yogahh, I chose to "scold" you (or, as I would put it, "register my dislike of a thing you said"). Because I know you to be reasonable and respectful, and I thought you'd understand and appreciate my objection. But it just escalated from there (when other posters jumped in to "defend" you from my criticism), and watching the mockery and dismissal only increase, I got angrier at the policing and censorship. It still makes me angry to see honest inquiries buried by a gif-party just because they're in the wrong place or at the wrong time.

And fwiw, in attacking the tone police, I was "punching up," so to speak, objecting to regular posters with a lot of authority and presence on this board; most of the policing and mockery is "punching down," belittling people who are new and less vocal (and thus less influential on the board).

Since we're not allowed to talk about "board tone," this will be my last post on the topic (sorry @lalala2004), but as my last offering/plea, I'd just like to suggest (politely, this time) that we (myself included) consider what the effects of our responses will be and ask whether we really need to shut something down, and how we can be more respectful to newer posters.

sarawifenow · January 2016

dshannah said:
@doozer1345 and others: I agree that I did not word my post in the most productive way possible. Hence my other thread (since you can't delete these).

But I did not "start out" by calling people names, and I never mentioned anyone in particular. I was frustrated after yet another mockery-filled derailment of a discussion, and I was responding to the level of maturity and respect that I saw in evidence there. Again, I cursed too much, and I regret that. But the sentiments are there: people were being really mean and dismissive and I felt it needed to be responded to.

And yes, I am taking this whole board too seriously and I might be banned for several TOU violations because I expressed myself the way I did. But this board is actually important, and I actually do care about the board and the people who come to it: we all came here because we want to share our experiences, good and bad, with people who are going through or have gone through similar things. It's an important space, and I know I have learned a lot and shared a lot of what little advice I have to offer.

It made me really angry to see how what seems to be 10 posters (whom I also agree with on many other things!) seem to be telling others what to post and what not to post. And so, yes, @yogahh, I chose to "scold" you (or, as I would put it, "register my dislike of a thing you said"). Because I know you to be reasonable and respectful, and I thought you'd understand and appreciate my objection. But it just escalated from there (when other posters jumped in to "defend" you from my criticism), and watching the mockery and dismissal only increase, I got angrier at the policing and censorship. It still makes me angry to see honest inquiries buried by a gif-party just because they're in the wrong place or at the wrong time.

And fwiw, in attacking the tone police, I was "punching up," so to speak, objecting to regular posters with a lot of authority and presence on this board; most of the policing and mockery is "punching down," belittling people who are new and less vocal (and thus less influential on the board).

Since we're not allowed to talk about "board tone," this will be my last post on the topic (sorry @lalala2004), but as my last offering/plea, I'd just like to suggest (politely, this time) that we (myself included) consider what the effects of our responses will be and ask whether we really need to shut something down, and how we can be more respectful to newer posters.

Except you did start out by calling people names...a$$hole, twatwaffle, jacka$$...those are all names.

_darth · January 2016

*** dirty lurking from elsewhere ***

Image: https://giant.gfycat.com/SlushyUltimateCranefly.gif

I will show myself out.

lalala2004 · January 2016

dshannah said:

Bltbear82 said:

JessicaB0627 said:
@dshannah Also, we can't physically police threads because we don't have that authority. They did away with mods and we are not BGs. So really you could just scroll on past whatever was said that bothered you so much.
You know, holding yourself to the same standard you're holding everyone else to.

Because I wasn't doing it for me.

I can scroll past, but the discussion, once squashed by derailment and mockery, stops. People feel shamed. The post I chose (finally) to not scroll past was a post that effectively halted an active discussion on an UO THursday Board because it was Saturday.

I was miffed, don't get me wrong, but I was mostly mad that other voices were being squelched, and I decided to say something about it.

And, as an analogy: none of us scrolled past when that (now banned) poster came on and attacked laurenmdrn16. We stepped in and reported her and she was booted, and it let Lauren know we had her back.

This was a less extreme case, but that's what I was trying to do with the initial post in the UO Thursday thread: to let other people know that they could keep talking, and maybe put the kibosh on a type of dismissive post that's been all-too-common on this board. Then all hell broke loose, with people defending the policing, people coming out to say they did not like the policing, and then people policing those folks by gif-ing at them. So I started some new threads.

Sorry, @lalala2004, didn't realize that it was against the TOU to object to board tone. Though I think that's a bit odd: how else are we supposed to object to bad behavior by a vocal minority of bumpers?

----QBF----
You weren't doing it for you? Playing the savior/martyr card is hardly going to work at this point.

Admit it: You got pissed off and wanted to lash out. Don't act like you had some holier than thou mission from God. No one is buying it.

What the BGs always say (and of course they're never here at night when TB is most active. *sigh*) is to report anything that is abuse or spam.

If it's not abuse or spam? Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. (That's not what the BGs say, but is essentially just how the world works. Welcome.) It doesn't need to be addressed because people are going to post how they want, and if it's not against the TOU, you need to get over it.

Posts like this never go over well, regardless of how "politely" they are worded (and obviously yours was rude, offensive, and immature). This is because people don't want to change their behavior or the board. We are here because we like it.

If you don't like it, well....

js8812 · January 2016

I'm surprised how much people care on both sides of this discussion.

All I care about is finding something for dessert. Carry on!

yogahh · January 2016

dshannah said:

Bltbear82 said:

@dshannah Also, we can't physically police threads because we don't have that authority. They did away with mods and we are not BGs. So really you could just scroll on past whatever was said that bothered you so much.
You know, holding yourself to the same standard you're holding everyone else to.

Because I wasn't doing it for me.

I can scroll past, but the discussion, once squashed by derailment and mockery, stops. People feel shamed. The post I chose (finally) to not scroll past was a post that effectively halted an active discussion on an UO THursday Board because it was Saturday.

I was miffed, don't get me wrong, but I was mostly mad that other voices were being squelched, and I decided to say something about it.

And, as an analogy: none of us scrolled past when that (now banned) poster came on and attacked laurenmdrn16. We stepped in and reported her and she was booted, and it let Lauren know we had her back.

This was a less extreme case, but that's what I was trying to do with the initial post in the UO Thursday thread: to let other people know that they could keep talking, and maybe put the kibosh on a type of dismissive post that's been all-too-common on this board. Then all hell broke loose, with people defending the policing, people coming out to say they did not like the policing, and then people policing those folks by gif-ing at them. So I started some new threads.

Sorry, @lalala2004, didn't realize that it was against the TOU to object to board tone. Though I think that's a bit odd: how else are we supposed to object to bad behavior by a vocal minority of bumpers?

Are you comparing my comment, a stupid comment asking are we still talking about an issue 36 hours late, to someone telling another member she shouldn't have children because of past mental issues?!?!?! If so, WOW. WOW WOW WOW. That member ATTACKED another on the board. My comment didn't even come close to an attack or abuse.

vinerie · January 2016

This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

wsgjmw1 · January 2016

vinerie said:
This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

I was never on the TTGP board , was it really this wild n crazy ! Lol

yogahh · January 2016

wsgjmw1 said:

This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

I was never on the TTGP board , was it really this wild n crazy ! Lol

BETTER!!!

laurenmdrn16 · January 2016

yogahh said:

dshannah said:

Bltbear82 said:

JessicaB0627 said:
@dshannah Also, we can't physically police threads because we don't have that authority. They did away with mods and we are not BGs. So really you could just scroll on past whatever was said that bothered you so much.
You know, holding yourself to the same standard you're holding everyone else to.

Because I wasn't doing it for me.

I can scroll past, but the discussion, once squashed by derailment and mockery, stops. People feel shamed. The post I chose (finally) to not scroll past was a post that effectively halted an active discussion on an UO THursday Board because it was Saturday.

I was miffed, don't get me wrong, but I was mostly mad that other voices were being squelched, and I decided to say something about it.

And, as an analogy: none of us scrolled past when that (now banned) poster came on and attacked laurenmdrn16. We stepped in and reported her and she was booted, and it let Lauren know we had her back.

This was a less extreme case, but that's what I was trying to do with the initial post in the UO Thursday thread: to let other people know that they could keep talking, and maybe put the kibosh on a type of dismissive post that's been all-too-common on this board. Then all hell broke loose, with people defending the policing, people coming out to say they did not like the policing, and then people policing those folks by gif-ing at them. So I started some new threads.

Sorry, @lalala2004, didn't realize that it was against the TOU to object to board tone. Though I think that's a bit odd: how else are we supposed to object to bad behavior by a vocal minority of bumpers?

Are you comparing my comment, a stupid comment asking are we still talking about an issue 36 hours late, to someone telling another member she shouldn't have children because of past mental issues?!?!?! If so, WOW. WOW WOW WOW. That member ATTACKED another on the board. My comment didn't even come close to an attack or abuse.

I am also offended that a very real and hurtful experience I had on TB is being used to make some point about someone feeling personally attacked by what I saw as an innocent and joking question. As a reg, I know the personalities and that some posters are more outspoken and sarcastic than others, but aren't malicious. The person who attacked me was doing so to be nasty so it is not a fair or appropriate comparison. Do I always agree with the way others talk? Nope, but as long as there is no real malicious intent, why get bent out of shape about it? If someone is more blunt or snarky than I would personally be, is it my place to say they are being abusive? I know what it means to be personally attacked (as you chose to bring up @dshannah ) and I find it hard to believe that @yogahh 's comment could illicit that same emotional response. Please don't use my pain to make your point.

Lulucooks · January 2016

yogahh said:

wsgjmw1 said:

vinerie said:
This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

I was never on the TTGP board , was it really this wild n crazy ! Lol

BETTER!!!
---qbf---
*lurking*

My spidey senses are tingling! Someone is talking about TTGP...

yogahh · January 2016

Hey there @lulucooks!! Love a TTGP drop by

vinerie · January 2016

wsgjmw1 said:

This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

I was never on the TTGP board , was it really this wild n crazy ! Lol

TTGP is like freshman hazing. It probably should be a required experience to be on any BMB. Threads in which people post pictures of a pee stick were particularly fun/amusing/scary.

Lulucooks · January 2016

yogahh said:
Hey there @lulucooks!! Love a TTGP drop by

*lurking*

Hi!!!

cgg0707 · January 2016

This is great!! I can only just read and enjoy the drama. I am neither a lurker or constant poster, but do have to say that I have never gotten snarky comments when I resuscitated a tread on placenta previa because I recintely found out I had it and had serious concerns, all I got was positive, constructive feedback. Agree this has been pretty tame until now, so please carry on

lalala2004 · January 2016

vinerie said:
This thread reminds me of TTGP board. For livening things up around here:

Yes, I have mixed feelings.

TXmamatobe · January 2016

And here I was thinking this board was boring today...

BumpAdmin · January 2016

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

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