Keeping being in labor a secret until after birth?

TheHauntedHauswife · January 2016

Another thread about who you want in the delivery room made me realize a lot more people think like i do than i thought.
So i wanted to talk about it on its own.

I dont want people in my waiting room.
I dont want people showing up right after the baby is born.
I really dont want anyone in the hospital at any point besides DH at all.
I am afraid if said people do show up, i am going to lose it. I have nightmares about having to call security.
That all being said, i really dont want any one at my house the first few days either!

Did anyone successfully achieve this? or are you planning something like this too? What did you do, how did you do it, etc?
Did you experience any backlash, do you think you will, do you care? Anyone else just totally feel this way too?

I just feel like the beginning of the babies life is for me and DH, and we should get all the alone time we need before people are bothering us.
Breastfeeding is of the utmost importance to me, and i dont want to feel like i need to adjust myself or my babies needs because cousin joe schmoe decided he needed to see the baby immediately.

Disclaimer - I have a seriously bad relationship with my mother and for whatever reason was never properly ''attached/bonded'' to her despite that i lived with her for over 20 years and she was a stay at home mom. Still not entirely sure why, but i view her as any other person, and she holds no ''special'' place in my life. So that likely has an effect on how i feel about this.

marriedtoadutchman · January 2016

We only tell the people that need to know when we are in labour (child care, employees etc). Otherwise we tell anyone until after baby arrives. The first we told everyone and we found that DH's phone was going non stop from ppl asking for updates. We understand they were just excited but it was a distraction.
With our last we had DS at home and didn't have anyone come to the house until after noon. That gave us the whole morning to cuddle, shower, have a quiet breakfast and just rest. It was the best! And hopefully plan on doing something similar.

I have a strained relationship with my birth mother and with some of my family from her side. So we don't feel comfortable with having them at the hospital. not sure how things work in the states but here in Canada I can be made anonymous once I check into the hospital. That way the only way people know we are there and know our room number is if we tell them.

HBamama2B · January 2016

All of this! Except that I want the grandparents to stop by (very briefly) once the baby is born to meet their grandson once we are home, so maybe day 2-3 post birth. But yes to all the rest. No one at the hospital, no guests staying at the house. I don't feel bad and no one's reaction will make me feel bad either. I know we are fully capable and it's VERY important to me that DH have time to establish his parenting style without interference (our moms are both the you're-doing-it-wrong-here-let-me types).

Other people can meet the baby a week or two later, I'm not in a rush at all for that and my siblings/ uncles all live on the opposite coast.

kja2011 · January 2016

***lurking from July***

We did this with our DS and it was awesome. The only people who knew we were going to hospital was pet sitter and one neighbor. I had a long labor, that ended in c-section. We didn't call anyone until the next day. Honestly, it was such a whirlwind, that I would have probably gone crazy with people calling, waiting at the hospital.

My parents tried to schedule a visit to help out with my new niece the week of my due date. And if I happened to have baby, that would be great. I freaked out on them, told them I didn't want them here that week and got some backlash. They ended up rescheduling. After baby was here, all was forgotten.

I would like to do the same this time around, but need to figure out arrangements for DS.

Good luck!

goldie987 · January 2016

The only person who might know I am in labor is my mother and that's because she might be coming down to watch our dog and stay with us after the baby is born for a few days (still undecided on that). I don't feel bad telling her don't bother us at the hospital, we'll let you know when there's something to know and I know she will respect that.

Otherwise, the first notice people will be getting is when the baby is born (they live 4-6 hours away) and we plan to tell them to not come until we're back home, it just isnt worth the trip for the 1 hour visit the hospital allows each pair (only two non baby parent visitors at a time). Only siblings and grandparents will be visiting early on due to the travel involved but we'll be having a party at 2 months old near each of our families for everyone else to meet them.

totsabounding · January 2016

I felt the same way with my first about no one in the waiting room and no visitors at the hospital until we were ready, and since we were living out of state away from family at the time, it worked out wonderfully. My in laws drove the 11 hours as soon as we told them, but we didn't tell them immediately. My parents flew down at 3 weeks. This time, we're back in our hometown, and we still plan to let everyone know after the baby is born (except my mom, who will watch our DD for us).

TattoosandLace · January 2016

*I'm due June 29th, so I hang out in July for the most part.*

I had our daughter in February 2015. The plan was to not tell anyone until the baby had arrived. My MIL had asked me prior what I wanted them to do (his family all lives about an hour and a half from the hospital) and I told her to wait until we tell her she can come. I didn't know at the time, but his family has always waited in the waiting room during labor and delivery. Not something I wanted.

Fast forward to actual D- Day. I went into labor at midnight, got to the hospital at 3:30. H wanted to let his boss know he wouldn't be in to work that day (he was contract at the time so it wasn't a huge deal. He could take off whenever he wanted and with minutes notice per the contract). I got admitted around 7 o'clock shift change. As soon as we got in our room, H wanted to text his mom so she didn't find out from his boss's wife. I caved and let him, thinking there was no way she was up yet (she typically gets up around 11 and doesn't sleep with her phone in her room). Unfortunately, she was up and already in the car going with her husband to a dr's appt. she called and said she'd be right there. I didn't want her there. She's not the nicest person to me. She was pissed we were having a baby when we announced to her and I just didn't want her there. All morning H fielded calls from her with an updated timeframe of when she'd be there because SFIL's doctor ordered tests. The last time she called, H told her to wait in the waiting room because I was about to start pushing. Did she listen? Nope. Not one bit. She tried to boss her way passed the nursing student to get in the room saying "I'm the mom." She wasn't allowed in and instead of waiting in the waiting room like she was told, she waited outside the door. Once the doctor and nurses left, she tried to get in and wasn't allowed because we were doing two hours skin to skin. She actually called H demanding to be let in and when he said "no, wait in the waiting room. We aren't ready for you yet." Her response was "well, where's my picture?"

Aside from that, I had the best labor and delivery experience possible. My nurse was an angel.

For this time around, we will not be telling anyone. We MIGHT tell SIL so she can watch our daughter, but I'm not sure because of the risk that MIL will find out and pull stunts again.

Love and learn. What I learned was not to feel bad about saying "no". It is your medical experience. My MIL didn't come to my gall bladder surgery. I didn't go to her back surgery. You get the say in this decision.

Ps. Sorry for the novel.

NicknShan · January 2016

I think we will do this with #2. Our first was a nightmare of a birth that ended in sedated emergency c. My family all showed up at about 7pm, being told they will likely get to see baby by 10. Then at about 3am my DH sent everyone home.

Second time around, being a RCS, I am sure my family will know when we go in (if we make it to the RCS and not earlier) but we will establish a time for family to come beforehand.

I think my MIL will be taking my DS and dog. So if I go into labor before my RCS, we will have to tell her. And that means I'll tell my family too, but we will still establish visiting hours.

As for the first few days, I won't mind visitors as long as they are my immediate family and not sick.

purplefan1 · January 2016

I don't want any one to know we are in labor. I may change my mind when it actually starts, but I would prefer to just send a picture of the new baby announcing the baby has arrived, its name, and gender. I don't want my parents to feel like they need to come up or my in laws. And I agree, I don't want all the texts requesting for updates, I just want to do my thing.

My sister never told me when she was in labor and it was always awesome to wake up and see her text announcement that a new baby had arrived.

If something were to go wrong, I would have my husband reach out to both of our parents but I would want him to keep it to just them.

vulpini · January 2016

When I went into labor last time, we told DH's family, who all live far. They texted him for updates but not too much. I told my dad but asked him not to tell my mom or come to the hospital before I delivered. My mom stresses over every little thing and if she knew I was in preterm labor she would have been pacing around my room needing me and DH to calm her instead of supporting and calming us. We told her when I was ready to push. This time I really want to have more time to attempt breastfeeding and do some skin to skin and let DS meet his brother before they show up. Though if they end up being the ones watching DS, that obviously work.

After DS was born and was in the NICU I had a fight with my mom over her demanding that we call her with updates first thing in the morning and throughout each day because she was worried and refused to understand that her worries were not our top concern. So I know I was right to not tell her I was in labor.

ahernandez16 · January 2016

I also don't want anyone to know when we're going to the hospital. I do not want visitors while I'm laboring and both my mom and DH's stepmom are the kind to try to berate the staff to get back -- although I don't think they'd cave, that's embarrassing.

I also don't want people in the waiting room texting us for updates or seeing baby immediately after. Sorry, I did all of the work, I get some uninterrupted baby time and some time to freaking REST. My mom is the type of person who, once she's let into the room, she won't want to leave -- so that'll be fun.

If something went wrong, DH would call everyone. With the exception of my MIL, our entire families live less than 20 minutes away from our hospital. This is why I don't think I could get away with not telling them until we're home, which would be ideal. I'll probably have people driving by my house to see if our cars are here religiously around June. They're nuts.

almostpriceless · January 2016

The birth of my first was a nightmare. There were about 30 relatives there during labor and no one would go away for days after she was born. Fast forward 12 years to the birth of #2 and I put my foot down. The only people who knew were my BFF who stayed with the dog, our older daughter, and my sister. We sent my sister with our oldest to go pick up my MIL when it was time to push. When they made it to the hospital baby was already here (I pushed 3 times and there she was) so we allowed out oldest to come in with us while my sister and MIL hung out in the waiting room for about 2 hours. It was important to us for big sister to be with us for that quiet bonding time. It was wonderful and we will do things the same way with this baby, only we will have 2 big sisters snuggling with us and new baby.

DeePaddy24 · January 2016

This is complicated for us. We'll have to let my aunt & uncle know when we're going to the hospital because they'll be the ones who watch our dog. And, especially being our first, I think we'll have to let our families know as well. Aside from that, though, people will find out after the baby is born. I don't see the need to broadcast it. I have an acquaintance on FB who basically updated her statues hourly when she was in labour...that was a bit much.
I think if we lay some ground rules for our families ahead of time (respecting our space, allowing us to have our time, not constantly texting us), things will be fine with them knowing when I'm in labour.
There is still a long time before this is the reality, so I've got some time to figure it all out.

(Edited because words are hard today)

TheHauntedHauswife · January 2016

Being that we just recently starting going through a process with my mother getting her to understand her feelings are not our concern over ours, ever. [As she as a way of thinking they triumph the universe] and opening her eyes to the fact that she was actually extremely emotionally abusive to me and that she will not be involved in absolutely anything I don't want her to be involved in. I am hoping she is going to keep on track and wont be shocked when we tell her shes not allowed to come to any of those things.

We do have a dog and we would have to come up with some sort of a dog plan, but i would probably try for a friend or DHs brother/SIL. Our pup will be fine alone for a bit as long as people stop to feed him and take him out 3x day. So i imagine we wont have a huge issue there, and anyone we would be calling would be someone who has the sense of mind to understand, please dont come to the hospital or tell anyone we are in labor.

My DH is going to be acting as doula, and we are both very very adamant on doing whatever we can for a natural drug-free birth and working hard on establishing good breast feeding right away. I just cannot imagine something like you said @TattoosandLacecause that is just insanity.

So i am hoping either DH will give everyone the lowdown before hand of, hey, we are doing a natural birth, we cant have any distractions or people waiting and therefore no vistors until we say so, like you said @DeePaddy24and/or simply telling nearly no one. I could see myself being okay with maybe 2-3 of my girlfriends stopping by and maybe even DH's brother/SIL at some point. But any parents are pretty out of the question for me for the beginning and if and when they do stop by, it is going to need to be for a very very short period of time. As you said @vulpiniI want all the time in the world to work on breast feeding and I want to be able to lift up my baby and put her on the boob whenever she wants to be put there, and not have that adjusted by someone being in my hospital room that i didn't invite.

...and i am literally going to scream if DHs phone goes off one time asking for an update.

Huskerfanz · January 2016

We did this with DS and it was awesome for many reasons. One because DS didn't come until 11 pm so nobody was staying up late waiting. Two because he had issues right away with his blood sugar and ended up going to the NICU a few hours after his birth. We stayed in L&D longer than usual to see if his levels would go up at all so I'm not sure they could have come in even if they were at the hospital waiting. They all ended up coming at different times after we had a good handle on what was wrong with DS.

We won't be able to do that this time because my parents will need to watch DS. And I need to ask about visiting rules with preemies as they will be in the NICU right away.

Bee112309 · January 2016

I feel strongly about having anyone other than DH in the delivery room with me. I know my mom was hoping that I would ask her, but there's just no way. We are not that close.

With DD1, we didn't tell anyone when I went into labor. I wound up with an emergency c-section and a rough few hours following it, so we didn't tell anyone until I was back in a room with DH and the baby and we had had a few hours to bond with the just the three of us. At that point, we were okay with family and close friends coming to visit.

With DD2, my oldest was staying with my parents while I labored, so we dropped her off with them the evening of my induction. DD2 was born very early in the morning, so DH and I had several hours with just her, and then he went to pick DD1 up to come meet her sister. We got some push-back on that, because my mom wanted to come to the hospital then, too, but we both felt that no one should meet the baby before her sister got to do so. Once the girls had some time to meet each other, we called the rest of the family and invited them to come by.

LizM61409 · January 2016

I don't want to tell anyone. My DH thinks it would be okay to tell people (but agrees not to have anyone in the building) but I worry about his phone blowing up and him being focused on replying to texts instead of being in the moment. The only catch is that I *may* want to tell my parents so they can make arrangements with my dad's work to come visit at some point after the baby is out (they live 4 hours away). DH's family is all retired and in town so there's really no reason they would need to know until after delivery, but I feel like if we tell my parents DH may get upset that I don't want to tell his

huskypuppy14 · January 2016

My husband and I are on the same page and agree that he will call our parents when the baby is born. We want to do skin to skin for at least an hour and then we get transferred up to the post partum floor, so it will be a couple hours before anyone can come anyway. The waiting room for labor and delivery is in the lobby on the first floor, and L&D is on the 8th floor, and its secured, so people can't just barge in anyway.

Why didn't your husbands just shut their phones off? Then no one would have bothered you at all.

LizM61409 · January 2016

huskypuppy14 said:

My husband and I are on the same page and agree that he will call our parents when the baby is born. We want to do skin to skin for at least an hour and then we get transferred up to the post partum floor, so it will be a couple hours before anyone can come anyway. The waiting room for labor and delivery is in the lobby on the first floor, and L&D is on the 8th floor, and its secured, so people can't just barge in anyway.

Why didn't your husbands just shut their phones off? Then no one would have bothered you at all.

My husband will be physically unable to sit and wait with me without checking f*%&ing twitter the whole time, that's why

huskypuppy14 · January 2016

LizM61409 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

My husband and I are on the same page and agree that he will call our parents when the baby is born. We want to do skin to skin for at least an hour and then we get transferred up to the post partum floor, so it will be a couple hours before anyone can come anyway. The waiting room for labor and delivery is in the lobby on the first floor, and L&D is on the 8th floor, and its secured, so people can't just barge in anyway.

Why didn't your husbands just shut their phones off? Then no one would have bothered you at all.

My husband will be physically unable to sit and wait with me without checking f*%&ing twitter the whole time, that's why

That's what ipads or laptops are for!

TheHauntedHauswife · January 2016

I already told my husband, No cell phone. None!

vulpini · January 2016

I was in labor for 19 hours with almost no progression and nothing really happening for the first 12 of those hours and a post-epidural nap for another two hours later. I was bored and I had contractions to "entertain" me. Before my contractions actually got painful, my husband would have been bored out of his mind without something to do in between helping me up to the bathroom every so often and talking to medical staff.

AmberLiz99 · January 2016

We will do what we've always done. We'll let family know when we are at the hospital. If it's a weekend hopefully my parents can drive down to stay overnight with the kids (they live two hours away) otherwise no one lives close enough to get there soon. If people show up the next day that's ok, but only my parents ever have. They know not to stay longer than an hour to see the baby.
This time Dh will have to go home and take care of the other kids anyway after the baby is born, so I guess it's just different with the third kid.

mar101483 · January 2016

I am not telling anyone, who lives close enough to drive to the hospital, until after our baby is born. My husband will probably be freaking out and text all his bffs, who are all recent dads, but live hours away in other states, so I'm OK with that. After the baby is born, I have some close friends and family, I wouldn't mind inviting to the hospital, but that list is small. My mother wants to move in the first week, but I've already told her that week is for us.

WinniethePoohsPants · January 2016

I'm totally on board with you @TheHauntedHauswife

I had everything on your wish list with the birth of my DS, unfortunately however it was mainly due to the fact that my family members were on the east coast, and my DH and I were on the west coast.

When I told my MIL that I didn't want any visitors she made a face but didn't say anything, so my plan of attack is simply to not tell anyone (except my mom so she can babysit DS) when I go into labor, and maybe not reveal that my DS is even born yet until I get home from the hospital.

I had a lot of success with BFing my DS early on, and I attribute that mainly to the fact that I had plenty of skin to skin time and practically zero interruptions after he was born. I would love to relive that this second time around. GL

goldie987 · January 2016

So this is going to sound totally awful and is probably more of a FFFC but whatever, that's the mood I'm in tonight. I kind of secretly hope that the baby is born on my due date or a day or two before because my in-laws will be on an Alaska cruise and literally won't be able to come until we're home from the hospital (provided me and baby are healthy). No better way to enforce a "no visits till we're home" than having them on a boat on the other side of the country.

little_bren · January 2016

I'm a fairly private person also and babies bring out the creepster in people. Last time, only a few people knew I was in labor because I had an elective induction due to excruciating pain (SPD) and I was afraid I would get negative reactions about it being elective. We only had two sets of visitors but we invited them. After reading this post, I might not let many people know

fishwife799 · January 2016

I didn't want anyone there when I was in labor with DD. I felt like even if they weren't in the room, just at the hospital that I would feel like I had an audience and I didn't want the pressure and anxiety of knowing they were waiting. My mom had a very hard time with this and when I was told I would have a c-section she threw a fit and said she wasn't coming. I called her and laid it out saying she needed to get over her sh*t and realize that it wasn't about her, it was about me and baby and to get her a## to the hospital. After that we made it very clear that with future children nobody would be welcome there until after baby was born. It helpe that we delivered at a hospital 100 miles away and plan to this time as well. So people know we are in labor, but know also that they aren't welcome. The only people that will come see us is grandparents so they can bring our older kids to meet the baby.

AmberLiz99 · January 2016

fishwife799 said:
I didn't want anyone there when I was in labor with DD. I felt like even if they weren't in the room, just at the hospital that I would feel like I had an audience and I didn't want the pressure and anxiety of knowing they were waiting. My mom had a very hard time with this and when I was told I would have a c-section she threw a fit and said she wasn't coming. I called her and laid it out saying she needed to get over her sh*t and realize that it wasn't about her, it was about me and baby and to get her a## to the hospital. After that we made it very clear that with future children nobody would be welcome there until after baby was born. It helpe that we delivered at a hospital 100 miles away and plan to this time as well. So people know we are in labor, but know also that they aren't welcome. The only people that will come see us is grandparents so they can bring our older kids to meet the baby.

Do you live 100 miles away from family, or actually drive the 100 miles while in labor? I'm just curious because my second came VERY fast, and that distance would scare me.

angbhylt · January 2016

I mentioned yesterday at a family gathering that I don't plan to tell anyone anything until baby arrives and heads were rolling. Thanks to this thread and all of your posts I felt really empowered by my decision and stood my ground. So important for my husband and I to have as much time as WE want before catering to others wants/demands. Thankful my sister in law was in my corner and backed me up too. You ladies rock!

fishwife799 · January 2016

@AmberLiz99 I just mapped and it's 107 miles form my house to the hospital I delivered DS at and will deliver this one. I live in a small town in rural area. The closest hospital is 25 miles away (that's where I delivered DD) but they don't allow VBAC's so I was forced to go elsewhere. To be honest though even if they did I would still go where I am going. The hospital is tiny (has 2 rooms in the maternity ward) and just not ideal now that I know what it's like to deliver in a "real" hospital. We scheduled an induction for DS and my water broke on the way to the hospital so it was perfect timing. I was in labor for a total of 6 hours so I'm hoping this labor is similar. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about it though.

JessRX88 · January 2016

We are not saying anything until after the baby is born. No advanced notice if we happen to have a C-section or induction scheduled ahead of time. I have a good relationship with my family, but I like my privacy. I would be very uncomfortable having people around while I'm undergoing medical procedures... it doesn't need to be a social event for me.

AmberLiz99 · January 2016

fishwife799 said:
@AmberLiz99 I just mapped and it's 107 miles form my house to the hospital I delivered DS at and will deliver this one. I live in a small town in rural area. The closest hospital is 25 miles away (that's where I delivered DD) but they don't allow VBAC's so I was forced to go elsewhere. To be honest though even if they did I would still go where I am going. The hospital is tiny (has 2 rooms in the maternity ward) and just not ideal now that I know what it's like to deliver in a "real" hospital. We scheduled an induction for DS and my water broke on the way to the hospital so it was perfect timing. I was in labor for a total of 6 hours so I'm hoping this labor is similar. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about it though.

Wow! You have guts. My labor with ds was 17 hours, but with dd it was only 3 hours, and we barely made it to the hospital 15 minutes away from our house after dropping off ds. I'm a total city girl though, so I'm spoiled by easy access.

TheHauntedHauswife · January 2016

Im hoping for that 3 hour labor!!

Diesel615 · January 2016

I never really thought about this until this post. I always thought I'd just let everyone know and be excited to have people visit us and the baby right after giving birth. However, last night I had a HORRIBLE nightmare about people visiting me at the hospital and I was in a bathtub with the baby and people kept getting in the bathtub with us and started drowning the baby. I kept begging people to get out, but they kept getting in raising the water more. So I talked with my husband this morning and I think I've decided I'll only let my parents know that I'm in labor since I have to take my dog there, and Mom wants to be in the room for labor. Then after a while maybe let other people know, but put restrictions on people visiting at the hospital.

Knottie08537165 · January 2016

I only want my husband there. My parents are about 3 hours away, but are insistent on being at the hospital. This is our first, so I don't really know what to expect! We will have my MIL or SIL feed the dogs, since the hospital is an hour away. I would be fine with my MIL being there since she is very respectful of our privacy but my mom will drive me crazy. I think I am just going to tell my parents if they want to come to the hospital they can, but they need to understand that they probably will not get to see or hold the baby for awhile. I want to do skin to skin for awhile and work on breastfeeding, and I cant imagine doing that with my dad in the room! Plus me and DH will probably be baby hogs for a while! I would rather them come to my house after we are home, I am trying to work on that already, but my mom is adamant that they will be at the hospital! I guess we will see how it goes!

noelietrex · January 2016

*lurking from July* I love this thread and especially the STM experience and advice! It also makes me feel way less mean and like maybe we are being reasonable. Both our families live out of state. I don't want anyone to know when we're in labor not because I think they'll show up at the birthing center but because I don't want them even buying plane tickets until I give the okay. I don't want visitors until after the first 2 weeks home. I want DH's 2 week paternity time to be his time to bond and learn to care for the baby and feel confident in his parenting abilities. If my Dad or MIL show up to help like they keep wanting to, DH won't get that time. Praying Dad and MIL won't be presumptuous and buy plane tickets around our due date because I feel like things will be so ugly if anyone tries to step on our toes as new parents or push their agenda over our wishes... When it's closer we'll be discussing this more, but I still worry. My parents always think they know better than I do and they're usually so off base. We're black sheep children- we are both polar opposites of our families and parents and I hope they can respect that.

MeganF08 · January 2016

I have also been toying with the idea of not telling anyone until baby is here but my husband wants his parents while I labor. I told him that it doesn't make sense to do that since I plan on having one hour of uninterrupted skin-to-skin and I would feel rushed if I knew I had people sitting around waiting on me not only through labor but also through that hour. I don't want to be hateful and ruin anyone's experience (this will be my in-law's first grandbaby as H is an only child) but I also don't want to ruin my experience either. I have a lot of concerns about BFing since the women in my family have typically had a lot of trouble and just given up on it and I want to make sure that baby and I get a chance to work on it right away. I am definitely not comfortable trying to feed her for the first time with a room full of people.

Tawny87 · January 2016

MeganF08 said:
I have also been toying with the idea of not telling anyone until baby is here but my husband wants his parents while I labor. I told him that it doesn't make sense to do that since I plan on having one hour of uninterrupted skin-to-skin and I would feel rushed if I knew I had people sitting around waiting on me not only through labor but also through that hour. I don't want to be hateful and ruin anyone's experience (this will be my in-law's first grandbaby as H is an only child) but I also don't want to ruin my experience either. I have a lot of concerns about BFing since the women in my family have typically had a lot of trouble and just given up on it and I want to make sure that baby and I get a chance to work on it right away. I am definitely not comfortable trying to feed her for the first time with a room full of people.

Is your hubs planning on being in the waiting room or your delivery room? If he is planning on being with you while you labor and birth I would say call them after.

MeganF08 · January 2016

@Tawny87 - He will be in the delivery room with me. We have a doula consultation next week so I am hoping maybe she can work on convincing him to wait too.

peregrinefalconx · January 2016

MeganF08, my husband is saying *exactly* the same thing. I have had to have several convos with my DH about it, as he thought his parents would be in waiting room and visit right after baby is born. Um, no. He claims that might make his mom feel like like I'm a "B" but I think she would get it? He really has no idea how this whole thing goes and views it as being selfish. Luckily, he'll support me in my decision and I think he'll understand. We are giving birth at a birth center, with him as coach, and most people leave within 4 hours. I have no idea what the big deal is. We have the rest of our lives to share our daughter with the world. It doesn't have to happen when they are sewing you up, you are exhausted, trying to BF, emotionally process your LO being outside of your body, and seeing what it means to be a family unit of one more!

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