Two different due dates? Which one would you tell people?

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

So, I had a loss on 10/31, which they counted as the first day of my LMP when calculating my due date. I, however, knew (with a decent amount of certainty) that I ovulated on 11/17, about 3 days after the "normal" O date based on LMP. When I went in for my ultrasound, the Midwife did tell me that my O date must be correct, as I was spot-on about where the baby should be developmentally (measuring at exactly at 7w1d, as I predicted). She said, however, that since it was only three days off from my LMP date, that they'd just go with that. So instead of putting my EDD at 8/9, as predicted based on O date and where the baby was developmentally, they put my EDD at 8/6. Based on THAT due date, I'm 3 days "farther along" than..well, than I REALLY am. If that makes sense. Now I'm not sure if I'm 9w3d today, or 9w6d (and yeah, I've been thinking about this since that appt at 7w1d).

I know it doesn't REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things (because due dates are just an estimate and babies can come two weeks before/after a due date and still be healthy) but it's really bothering me that I don't know which date to tell people when they ask, or which date to go by when I think/talk about how far along I am! I've always been a "ticker change Tuesday" check-in person, but based on my due date/LMP, I should really be counting myself as a Saturday ticker change person. Which date would you guys go by? Or is this literally the dumbest question on this board? Lol

mumblefrog86 · January 2016

I would just go by what the doctor has put on your chart. Babies measure ahead and behind throughout your entire pregnancy. My DD was spot on early and then ended up measuring a week ahead from 25 weeks on but we never changed the date. It is just an estimate so 3 days at this point really means nothing.

ThisisNumber3 · January 2016

I would "tell" people the later date. More than likely you will go past your EDD and it would be nice not having people pester you for the extra three days.

Fremdschamen · January 2016

I like the idea of telling people the later date, but I know the feeling of being emotionally wed to an earlier one. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my due date was April 29, and when my OB told me at 30 weeks that she thought my due date was May 1, I was indignant, even though it made no difference. Indeed, my daughter ended up being born on May 1, but I still consider her due date to be Apr 29, lol.

In the end, it doesn't really matters, so choose the due date you like.

bsckgb7 · January 2016

My doctor knows the exact date I ovulated (had an RE). They are basing my due-date on my LMP. Go with your doctor. It may change anyway.

lalalorelai · January 2016

I'm in a similar situation (baby measured spot on with when I'm reasonably certain I ovulated, but that's 3 days past the date based on my LMP, but because that's within normal margin of error they're keeping my LMP due date). I'm telling people what the doctor says.

Like you said, it doesn't really matter that much. It's easier to just stick with the one date for everything.

cbpalagi · January 2016

When I first went to the doc I was measuring 1 day behind, and the doc said we would keep the original due date because LMP is always more accurate, according to her. My LO has since caught up, but either way I was still telling people the EDD according to my LMP

ThePax89 · January 2016

Go with the correct one, based on ovulation. I'm in the same pickle right now. And have no idea what my switch day is. It's bothering me. As for due dates to tell other people, tell them August.

texasmama2014 · January 2016

I would go with whatever one I liked better. Some dates have a nicer ring to them.

Kristin712 · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

Which date would you guys go by? Or is this literally the dumbest question on this board? Lol

1. Go with your doctor. It's three flippin' days. LMP is the standard used and at this rate you're in a better position than those who O'ed on CD28. Your EDD is going to come up with all sorts of appointments (genetic stuff, checkups, emergency visits, baby registry, etc.). Wouldn't life be so much easier to have the date that's in your medical file and not worry about reporting the "right: one dependent on the situation?

2.

Image: https://img.memecdn.com/me-when-someone-wakes-me-up-and-asks-a-stupid-question_o_624573.gif

Lulucooks · January 2016

It's 3 days......
Likely neither will be the day you give birth
Its not that serious

Spaghetti+Monster · January 2016

Omg, how will you ever know when you are due?? You could give birth one day or two days later!! I would call my doctor right away and demand a new dating scan.

You can't go through the next 8 months with that kind of uncertainty! No m'am!

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

@Lulucooks and @ShellinLove The point was not the due date; it's the fact that I don't know how far along I am. I'm either 10 weeks tomorrow, or I'm not 10 weeks until next Tuesday. May not seem like that big of a deal to you guys, but I like to know where I'm at in my pregnancy, and every day makes a difference this early from my perspective.
Are either of you even due in August? I don't think I've seen either of you post in the check-ins.

Lulucooks · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:
@Lulucooks and @ShellinLove The point was not the due date; it's the fact that I don't know how far along I am. I'm either 10 weeks tomorrow, or I'm not 10 weeks until next Tuesday. May not seem like that big of a deal to you guys, but I like to know where I'm at in my pregnancy, and every day makes a difference this early from my perspective.
Are either of you even due in August? I don't think I've seen either of you post in the check-ins.

Oh that's right, we aren't allowed to post in private clubs. *eye roll*
I've been pregnant before, sometimes I have useful advice, am I not allowed to share? A 3 day difference is not a big deal. You stated in your OP that your concern was because you didn't know what to tell people when they asked.... I mean really.... *that* is not that serious.

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

@Lulucooks I never said it was serious. I actually specifically said that I know this might be a stupid question and "I know it doesn't REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things."
I'm not saying you don't have valid input, having had a kid before (I've had one too) but I asked people in this group specifically because they're at around the same point of their pregnancies as I am. Had someone asked ME this question before I was pregnant again, I probably would've rolled my eyes. But when you're this early, and you just had a miscarriage at 5 weeks (so every single day closer to 12 weeks is cause for celebration), yeah, it kind of matters to me, which is why I asked in the first place.

Kristin712 · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

@Lulucooks and @ShellinLove The point was not the due date; it's the fact that I don't know how far along I am. I'm either 10 weeks tomorrow, or I'm not 10 weeks until next Tuesday. May not seem like that big of a deal to you guys, but I like to know where I'm at in my pregnancy, and every day makes a difference this early from my perspective.
Are either of you even due in August? I don't think I've seen either of you post in the check-ins.

All Bump members are welcome to post in whichever forum they'd like. I value @lulucooks' opinion because she's a BTDT mom. Regular posters like her tend to have great advice on a variety of boards.

Pick whichever date makes you happy and go with that. Your baby might be measuring five days ahead or behind right now and the EDD you choose won't be accurate. Is your life going to drastically change if that happens? Probably not. So pick a date and stop thinking about it. I think you'll be much happier.

Baby's measurements will continue to change. Different u/s machines have different levels of sensitivity. This isn't that hard.

Spaghetti+Monster · January 2016

No, sadly I am not due in August. But I did find this via Google search:

https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=10&d=31&y=15

Basically, the risk of miscarriage decreases as time goes on (we all know this). Your risk of m/c at 9w6d is 2%. Your risk of m/c at 10w is 2%

I put 10/31/15 in at the top, but you can play around with the dates and see how it changes.

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

@Kristin712 As I mentioned in my response to Lulucooks, it's not that her opinion isn't valid - it's that I posted a question to the August 2016 board because I wanted input from women who are near the same point in their pregnancies.
I appreciate your feedback, and everyone else's! I'll keep going with August 9th, the later date, because the biggest reason this matters at the moment is that I'm counting down the days until I hit that 12 week mark, when miscarriage risk drops to the lowest it'll get. I know 3 days isn't a big deal but I'm a massive worrier and I don't like not knowing.

Spaghetti+Monster · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

So, I had a loss on 10/31, which they counted as the first day of my LMP when calculating my due date. I, however, knew (with a decent amount of certainty) that I ovulated on 11/17, about 3 days after the "normal" O date based on LMP. When I went in for my ultrasound, the Midwife did tell me that my O date must be correct, as I was spot-on about where the baby should be developmentally (measuring at exactly at 7w1d, as I predicted). She said, however, that since it was only three days off from my LMP date, that they'd just go with that. So instead of putting my EDD at 8/9, as predicted based on O date and where the baby was developmentally, they put my EDD at 8/6. Based on THAT due date, I'm 3 days "farther along" than..well, than I REALLY am. If that makes sense. Now I'm not sure if I'm 9w3d today, or 9w6d (and yeah, I've been thinking about this since that appt at 7w1d).

I know it doesn't REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things (because due dates are just an estimate and babies can come two weeks before/after a due date and still be healthy) but it's really bothering me that I don't know which date to tell people when they ask, or which date to go by when I think/talk about how far along I am! I've always been a "ticker change Tuesday" check-in person, but based on my due date/LMP, I should really be counting myself as a Saturday ticker change person. Which date would you guys go by? Or is this literally the dumbest question on this board? Lol

Also, you cited the bolded above as your reason for wanting to know your EXACT due date.

Lulucooks · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:
@Lulucooks I never said it was serious. I actually specifically said that I know this might be a stupid question and "I know it doesn't REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things."
I'm not saying you don't have valid input, having had a kid before (I've had one too) but I asked people in this group specifically because they're at around the same point of their pregnancies as I am. Had someone asked ME this question before I was pregnant again, I probably would've rolled my eyes. But when you're this early, and you just had a miscarriage at 5 weeks (so every single day closer to 12 weeks is cause for celebration), yeah, it kind of matters to me, which is why I asked in the first place.

Asking if I was "even due in August" implies I'm not allowed to be here. Even if I was due in August, my answer would have been the exact same. Because, as you yourself stated, it's not that big a deal. For the reasons you were "really bothered" about in your OP, what to tell others when asked.

*hugs* @Kristin712 thanks for the welcome ^_^

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

ShellinLove said:

No, sadly I am not due in August. But I did find this via Google search:

https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=10&d=31&y=15

Basically, the risk of miscarriage decreases as time goes on (we all know this). Your risk of m/c at 9w6d is 2%. Your risk of m/c at 10w is 2%

I put 10/31/15 in at the top, but you can play around with the dates and see how it changes.

Risk reaches its lowest at the 12 week mark, which is what I'm "counting down" to, so to speak. Many women don't announce their pregnancies until 12 weeks for this reason. I know that exactly what day my "due date" is doesn't matter (my daughter was 2 days late); I just like to know exactly how far along I am, to the day, this early in my pregnancy and it's confusing/frustrating having two different dates. Based on some of the other responses, I'm not the only one who has experienced this.

Spaghetti+Monster · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

ShellinLove said:

No, sadly I am not due in August. But I did find this via Google search:

https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=10&d=31&y=15

Basically, the risk of miscarriage decreases as time goes on (we all know this). Your risk of m/c at 9w6d is 2%. Your risk of m/c at 10w is 2%

I put 10/31/15 in at the top, but you can play around with the dates and see how it changes.

Risk reaches its lowest at the 12 week mark, which is what I'm "counting down" to, so to speak. Many women don't announce their pregnancies until 12 weeks for this reason. I know that exactly what day my "due date" is doesn't matter (my daughter was 2 days late); I just like to know exactly how far along I am, to the day, this early in my pregnancy and it's confusing/frustrating having two different dates. Based on some of the other responses, I'm not the only one who has experienced this.

Yes, I was already aware of that.

I think I gave you a helpful link.

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

@ShellinLove It is pretty cool, but it shows that risk is at 2% as of 9w1d and stays that way for the remainder of the pregnancy. That contradicts what I've read before, but who knows. I'd probably be better off not worrying so much about it either way.

Kristin712 · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

ShellinLove said:

No, sadly I am not due in August. But I did find this via Google search:

https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=10&d=31&y=15

Basically, the risk of miscarriage decreases as time goes on (we all know this). Your risk of m/c at 9w6d is 2%. Your risk of m/c at 10w is 2%

I put 10/31/15 in at the top, but you can play around with the dates and see how it changes.

Risk reaches its lowest at the 12 week mark, which is what I'm "counting down" to, so to speak. Many women don't announce their pregnancies until 12 weeks for this reason. I know that exactly what day my "due date" is doesn't matter (my daughter was 2 days late); I just like to know exactly how far along I am, to the day, this early in my pregnancy and it's confusing/frustrating having two different dates. Based on some of the other responses, I'm not the only one who has experienced this.

If you'd like some more food for thought, "most women" don't announce their pregnancy until the first trimester is over. The first trimester actually goes through week 13.

bsckgb7 · January 2016

Here's the thing. At my 9w1d ultrasound, I was measuring 10w2d. My due date is still the same (in my head and the doctors). I didn't change all my apps or anything for the due date. You will drive yourself bonkers if you constantly adjust your due date. I understand being nervous being early, but if I move my due date up or down for a few days, it doesn't mean I got to skip "your baby hearing is developing, but their ears still need to move to the side of their head" on my app. I like to see "daily" updates even though I know realistically that's probably not happening on that exact day. What you are measuring could very easily change as you go forward. You doctor will go off LMP and likely won't change that unless it's WAAAAY off.

1faceinacrowd · January 2016

@Kristin712 Yeah, I know first trimester is over at 13 weeks, but from what I understand, risk of miscarriage levels off at 12.
But again, it's just three days, and I should really just stop worrying so much because it won't change anything.

mrsgillham14 · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

@Kristin712 Yeah, I know first trimester is over at 13 weeks, but from what I understand, risk of miscarriage levels off at 12.
But again, it's just three days, and I should really just stop worrying so much because it won't change anything.

Pregnancy loss can happen at any point during the pregnancy. @shellinlove's link was fairly accurate. There is still a chance for a loss even after 12 weeks.

lalalorelai · January 2016

1faceinacrowd said:

@Kristin712 Yeah, I know first trimester is over at 13 weeks, but from what I understand, risk of miscarriage levels off at 12.
But again, it's just three days, and I should really just stop worrying so much because it won't change anything.

I think the bolded is what everyone has been trying to say. It's just not something you should be spending a whole lot of time or energy on.

Bookhousegirl · January 2016

I've also had multiple due dates given to me (based on growth, LMP, and ovulation) and I change it based on my mood. Sometimes the 15th sounds better, sometimes the 13th sounds better. The fact of the matter is no one else is going to really put much thought into it and it's highly unlikely I'll have the baby that day either.

I put how far along I am as the latest due date just because I could go with the later gestational age but that's not going to change anything with the baby growth/risk of miscarriage.

PrimRoseMama · January 2016

Regrettably, I'm not an August 2016 mom. However, I have experience with EDD fluctuation.

With my daughter I was given an original EDD of 10/26/11. At her first anatomy scan she was measuring behind by 8 days. So, we had the EDD moved to 10/17/11. She arrived on her own on 10/19/11.

My CNM & OB don't advocate changing EDD unless there is a 7 day difference. I'm not sure a 3 day difference is significant enough to produce worry.

I understand first trimester is full of uncertainty & worry, but I believe you (@1faceinthecrowd) are really reaching for a reason to be upset here. It's 3 days. Relax as best you can. Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy. Whatever EDD you decide to use is really up to you. If it were me I'd go with however baby was measuring at your appointment.

Ktande22 · January 2016

I'm getting what you're saying for me I actually requested an EDD change with #2 it was only two day but I am a super late delivery for both my kiddos so changing it for me was a no brainier, I request the change to the latest possible date even though it makes me seem "less" pregnant I know the doctors will be less jumpy with forcing an induction. My first my Edd was off by 5 days and had they changed it I think I could've avoided my induction and possibly my csec. That's just me. In regards to loss in so sorry to hear about your recent loss. I had a 6 week loss a few years ago. Worrying is natural and over analyzing is going to be what you do to keep your mind occupied and we all want to grasp at any hope of being "out of the woods". Xoxo praying you get a sticky little one and this is your rainbow

HuntingLillies · January 2016

I hated the last month of pregnancy, so anything that would make my baby come sooner I would do! Three days doesn't matter at the beginning, but it sure does at the end!
P.S. I had a c-section so the due date would matter to my ob.

mrsmommya · January 2016

I had a vaginal delivery and my DD was a week late. I was anxious but sooooo thankful afterwards that we let her do her thing and not forced an induction. Therefore, the end due date will not matter at some point. However, it does matter to me know as far as gestational age. I also experienced a miscarriage and getting my baby past that point (accurately) is VERY important to me. Although I know my O day, my baby was measuring right with it at 7w and 10w, my doc is still keeping my LMP. The difference is 5 days. O date - 7/31 LMP date - 7/26. I think was makes a difference to me is that one week the doc is thinking...you're in the clear with 2nd tri and here I am still hanging out in 1st tri. I am keeping all my apps with my O date until my 14w u/s and then I will be comfortable enough to bump up the 5 days and change to the docs date from then on out.

SisterMaryNapalm · January 2016

I'm due in April with twins. My LMP and O-date (confirmed by early pregnancy ultrasounds) were over a week apart. They went with where the early dating scans said but not because I could show my O-date, because that's what the scans said. In a high risk pregnancy, specifically twins where growth is an issue, they still didn't seem that bothered by a difference of a week +

3 days is really nothing. In your 12-13w scan they will be happy if you're measuring plus or minus a week if everything is developing well. I understand counting down so simply put, medically your EDD is what your doctor says. If it was a difference of more than a week (or even two) there's room to argue if you believe there's a possible problem with how it will impact your pregnancy or delivery (measuring small, early induction or c/s). But seriously? 3 days? Calm your farm.

imakeeff0rts · January 2016

Or you could do what I do and say "I'm due sometime at the end of August or early September". If they ask for a date, "I'm due sometime at the end of August or early September. We're keeping the specific date a secret."

TheTamedShrew · January 2016

Based on my O date, I am due 8/31. If I went by LMP it would be 8/28. I accidentally told the nurse my LMP was 3 days later when I scheduled my first scan. I won't know where baby is measuring until my appointment next week, but my DD was born exactly 38 weeks after O date (5 days after EDD). I don't think I'm going to correct my LMP at my appointment unless baby is measuring off. I've already told everyone I'm due 8/31 and have been primarily participating on the Sept '16 BMB. I figure 3 days difference isn't that big of a deal. *shrug*

smilormarie · January 2016

Go by O date. Not many women track ovulation so doctors have to use LMP by default even though it's usually wrong. My fertility doctor and then first midwife tried to up by due date by a week because baby was measuring so big the first pregnancy but I demanded to keep the date as known. I didn't get pregnant a week before I ovulated. Duh. We did IUI with frozen sperm because my husband had just finished chemo and his sperm count hadn't returned yet. The single I semination the day I ovulated (as confirmed by ultrasound) was the one and only time I could have gotten pregnant that month. I just had a really big baby in there. At 2.5 yrs he's in the 90th percentile for height. Go with your gut. Midwives and doctors aren't always right. For the women who "have no clue when they ovulated" they must rely on the doctors best guess based on LMP and a growth scan which could be off by 1-2 weeks. Great job knowing your body and when you ovulated. It's makes everything so much easier when we are in control of our own fertility.

ZedPM3 · January 2016

My EDD based on ovulation is 2 days earlier than my due date based upon LMP. My OB is keeping my due date based on LMP, and I'm considering that my due date, but when people ask how far along I am I say the weeks/days based upon my ovulation date (baby was measuring one day ahead of ovulation date at 7 weeks). No one's going to notice/care that it's 2 days off and I just consider it as if my pregnancy is 40 weeks and 2 days.

lalalorelai · January 2016

Also, I know this thread is just beating a dead horse, but all of those statistics on miscarriage rates almost certainly use the LMP to date the pregnancy. So if your concern really is knowing when to feel safe, then going off of your LMP EDD would be just fine. When a stat says X% of miscarriages occur before 12 weeks, for example, they're counting 12 weeks from LMP.

Sekerambo · January 2016

I would ask the doctor to switch to the later date. EDD doesn't matter in the beginning but makes a huge difference in the end. It could mean the difference between being induced or letting the baby come when it's ready. I was just given a later edd after a dating ultrasound and I'm sure it's a few days off (later) but I'm keeping it to buy me time in the end.

SkiChic626 · January 2016

I know exactly when baby is due based on my 6d FET. However, last time I told the midwives my EDD based on what was calculated by my RE, but they still insisted on calculating it based on my LMP. It happened to only be a difference of one day, but it still annoyed me. I'd go with whichever you like better, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

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