I'm crossing fingers it's not a thing, but I'm not saying there aren't people that don't kiss babies on their mouths. I don't suggest anyone attempting that with my kid if they don't want a swift throat chop.
Not sure that this is an u/o but hubs and I do not intend to take our newborn out in public for the first two months at least (mostly because of anti-vaxxers.) when we shared this information at a Christmas gathering with aunts, uncles, parents and grandparents, it became a huge shitfest where everyone was shocked and laughed at us. Normally a great family, but I really felt ganged up on when it came to this conversation.
****STUCK IN QUOTE BOX**** @pandaferh My only advice is try not to make statements like "I will/I won't/I'll never/I'll always". Not to say you'll change your mind, but there were a lot of things I thought I'd do/not do that didn't end up going as planned. It's not a big deal to change your mind or do things differently than you planned, but don't bother arguing with people about your plans, both because it's none of their business and they don't get a vote, and because you might feel differently later on when baby is here. Just make decisions as they come with your SO, and do your thing. Nobody else needs or deserves your explanation or justification about parenting decisions.
All that said - I totally took DD out when she was weeks old in northern BC in February... Not often, but it happened. I started to get stir crazy and needed to see the light of day. You may not feel that way and might stick with your plans, and that's fine too If you're worried about people touching LO, consider trying babywearing. People are way less likely to put their hands all over LO when they're strapped to your chest.
I'm going to be an ass and tell the unvaccinated parents I don't want my child near your kid. Do they make a sign I can hang on the car seat?
*weird quote box* When I had DD I didn't have any other friends with kids and had no family nearby, so I started going to a mom's walking group to meet people and get out of the house. I met a really sweet other new mom and we clicked right away, I didn't have a ton of support there so I was really excited to be making new friends, until she started telling me they weren't sure about vaccinating their son and her MIL hadn't vaccinated her kids, including this girl's SO. That was the end of that budding friendship. Hill to die on.
@ButterMyBiscuit I'm guilty of saying nub. I just can't think of another thing to call it. Blob? Apendage? Sticky thing? I don't know and I'm too lazy and sick to think of anything else.
Re vaccines: no one is seeing my child until they have had a whooping cough vaccine. As someone who has had whooping cough, I wouldn't wish that on anyone especially someone so little. I don't care what flack I get, my child my rules. I think mil is going to have an issue with it and I think dh will try to convince me to let her see lo anyway but I don't care who you are to this child you aren't seeing it. I dare her to try to take me on about it. I have lots of pent up frustration against her so I'm ready to roll.
F me I'm stuck in a quote box... But SO MUCH THIS. I'm doing this with flu vaccines too. Cousins in law that lives with us thinks bc he drinks raw cold pressed juice he's immune to the flu and refuses to get one. Cool, have fun moving out immediately. SIL also doesn't get them. I'm telling everyone come August/Sept when they're available that it's a non negotiable.
I did this too. BIL was living with us when I was pregnant with DD. He was planning to be there for about a year so would have been there for several months after DD was born (he ended up leaving sooner due to a different job opportunity). He's never gotten one before and hasn't since, but he did it that year with no question which I really appreciated.
I thought I'd only be a cheek kisser, but I totally kiss DD on her lips. I don't kiss DS(6 yo) on the lips anymore. DD is two.. I'll probably stop soon. She gets jealous when I kiss DH on the lips.
I totally kiss DD on the lips. DH does sometimes but I bet he'll stop before I do. I'm not sure when/if I'll stop kissing her on the lips.
I also kiss my parents on the lips, and my Grandpa used to kiss me on the lips. I'm from a South African family (born there, grew up in Canada) and none of my Canadian friends or my in laws do mouth kisses, so I think it might be cultural. I never really knew it was weird growing up and it doesn't bother me as an adult, but if DD ever asked me to stop or even just started turning her face so I kissed her cheek I would absolutely respect her preferences no matter what age she was.
I'm not sure I like non-sexual mouth kissing at all. I wasn't raised in a mouth kissing family and it always kind of weirds me out. I know it's not weird, and I don't know how I'll feel about it with my kid, but I really don't think I'll be cool with other people kissing my kid on the mouth.
I also am not from a mouth kissing family, but DH is. I usually try and just kiss cheeks, but FIL always turns and gets me on the mouth. And the weird thing is, I think he's just as uncomfortable with it as I am, but he thinks he has to do it.
I won't be letting anyone kiss my baby on the mouth, either. But I think I'll have to fight MIL on that one.
My year and a half year old nephew kisses me and his grandma on the mouth. Just a peck. Well, his are open mouth but he's learning. Lol. You know, the kind that the under two set give. We are kind of a mouth kissing family I guess. I will my children but we don't make a habit of kissing other people in any way. I will occasionally get a kiss from my momma or grandma when she was alive and that's about it. Mostly cheeks in family.
My family were are mouth kissers. My brother, the big bad Marine would kiss our dad, thr retired army Sargent on the mouth (before my dad died). I started to go for the cheek when I wa 10 or 11. I recall the look on my parents face when I did that. They were surprised but didn't press the issue.
Also, we are very touchy, and say 'I love you a lot'. It has gotten to a point that my inlaws tell me that they love me before they tell their own family.
My point is your child's lack of an immune system, that's why I'm saying no to mouth kissing my baby. If there was confusion on that stand point I'm sorry . I just don't want people other than my DH or myself doing that because I don't know what they are carrying. That's my issue.
I also love that there are other family's that are so touchy feely because that's how I want to be. It might not have been how I was raised 24/7 but I think it's important now that I'm starting my own family.
My DS (2) only kisses on the mouth Thankfully it's only me, DH, and the grandparents. If you try and turn your cheek he will grab your face and hold It.
I'm from a super touchy feely family, just cheek kissers. That said, I occasionally get surprised and one of my preschool students will mouth kiss me without warning. Those kisses are wet, man.
My point is your child's lack of an immune system, that's why I'm saying no to mouth kissing my baby. If there was confusion on that stand point I'm sorry . I just don't want people other than my DH or myself doing that because I don't know what they are carrying. That's my issue.
I also love that there are other family's that are so touchy feely because that's how I want to be. It might not have been how I was raised 24/7 but I think it's important now that I'm starting my own family.
I got your sentiment I actually agree with you. We didn't start kissing DD on the mouth until she was old enough to initiate the kisses or give kisses back, by which point she had had most of her vaccines. I would have absolutely put a stop to mouth kisses when DD was an infant, if it had come up, or even if a lot of extended family tried to kiss her on the mouth now. Luckily it's pretty much just me, DH, my parents, and DH's mom, (grandparents mostly only when DD goes in for a kiss first) which I'm currently comfortable with.
Just catching up on reading this. @Y0urm0m I am appalled by that damn post about some chick's step-son. You should totally name drop (please!) so I can perpetually dislike that person. I grew up with a step-mom who hated me, and eventually gave my father the "it's her or me" option. I don't remember her hating me until her son was born, and then I was the devil. I'm so angry at the OP for that, I could scream.
@Lindsayleigh1989 thanks, it is what it is. Haha actually, he didn't! And that's why it infuriates me more that there are others like her out there. Because I'm sure there are more men like my sperm donor who kick their children to the curb for some dumb woman. The whole thought that it's even a possibility for another child in this world to be tossed aside like they don't matter makes me rage. People need to undergo serious evaluations before they should be allowed to bring an innocent soul into this world. I suppose that's my UO!
@benten24 except that is totally not unpopular, I'm sure! At least not from where I'm standing!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people just can't parent, but you will clearly make a great one! Your words prove that you are a caring person and would never do anything to hurt any child.
Re: UO Thursday
Married: May 16th 2015
Married: May 16th 2015
When I had DD I didn't have any other friends with kids and had no family nearby, so I started going to a mom's walking group to meet people and get out of the house. I met a really sweet other new mom and we clicked right away, I didn't have a ton of support there so I was really excited to be making new friends, until she started telling me they weren't sure about vaccinating their son and her MIL hadn't vaccinated her kids, including this girl's SO. That was the end of that budding friendship. Hill to die on.
I did this too. BIL was living with us when I was pregnant with DD. He was planning to be there for about a year so would have been there for several months after DD was born (he ended up leaving sooner due to a different job opportunity). He's never gotten one before and hasn't since, but he did it that year with no question which I really appreciated.
I also kiss my parents on the lips, and my Grandpa used to kiss me on the lips. I'm from a South African family (born there, grew up in Canada) and none of my Canadian friends or my in laws do mouth kisses, so I think it might be cultural. I never really knew it was weird growing up and it doesn't bother me as an adult, but if DD ever asked me to stop or even just started turning her face so I kissed her cheek I would absolutely respect her preferences no matter what age she was.
Married: May 16th 2015
I won't be letting anyone kiss my baby on the mouth, either. But I think I'll have to fight MIL on that one.
Married: May 16th 2015
Also, we are very touchy, and say 'I love you a lot'. It has gotten to a point that my inlaws tell me that they love me before they tell their own family.
I also love that there are other family's that are so touchy feely because that's how I want to be. It might not have been how I was raised 24/7 but I think it's important now that I'm starting my own family.
Married: May 16th 2015
It.
Married: May 16th 2015