I remember on my last BMB thinking it was crazy and strange that some husbands were planning to go home at night while mom was in the hospital.
This time around, I'm thinking I'd like to have H go home and stay with DD (who will be 2.5) at night instead of at the hospital. There really isn't any reason he needs to stay there, and it would be nice if one of us was getting some sleep (because it sure as heck won't be me!). Also, DD has never slept over anywhere else, and I'd like to keep a little normalcy if I can.
H is undecided, I think he feels guilty for leaving me/us there alone, but we'll be just fine. Honestly, I'd love to be able to go right home after delivery, but I know that's not an option.
So, what are your plans?
Re: STM, will your SO stay or go?
ETA I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. I can't see regretting your husband having a little special one on one time with your firstborn before baby comes home:)
Edited to add: if I didn't have kids at home I would darn well expect him to be spending the night(s) with me.
We have no specific plan for when I go into labor for our toddler- just going to play it by ear. We are super lucky to have tons of family nearby that I feel confident someone will be able to pick him up or come to stay with him no matter how it plays out.
Child #1 June 2012
Child #2 Feb 2014
Child #3 Feb 16
BFP 3/9/17
Edit: spelling
I'm also with all you who have a toddler whose never spent a night away. I'm really worried about how she is going to handle mommy being in the hospital. Thankfully, I've got two wonderful sisters who she loves very much and I am hoping that one of them will be able to stay with her at our house.
Thanks honey. Somehow I'd forgotten all about that...
I've honestly never understood why the husband would be at the hospital round the clock...obviously he's excited for the baby and wants to be there with me and the baby, but newborns spend most of the day sleeping, occasionally waking up to eat and poop. People talk about bringing the Xbox to the hospital to entertain husband...obviously that isn't "bonding time" with baby, so what's the point in staying at the hospital 24 hours a day?
this time, my first will be staying with my mom and he's used to spending nights over there, I'm not worried about him. Most likely, my husband will stay with me at the hospital overnight again and maybe go home for a couple of hours in the am and then when my first gets off school.
It strikes me as a little odd to "not understand" why a father would want to be with his brand new child for an extended period of time. Just saying.
Perhaps that's why i didn't see the need for my husband to stay...we had baby 1 and 2 out of state and didn't have any family there for their births (everyone came later for the baby blessing). This baby It strikes me as a little odd to "not understand" why a father would want to be with his brand new child for an extended period of time. Just saying.
It isn't that he doesn't want to spend extended periods of time with his new baby, but when you live 10 minutes away from the hospital, it makes more sense that he'd go home to sleep while I'm attempting to sleep. I also send the baby to the nursery at night in an attempt to get some sleep, since recoving from a csection isn't easy, so it isn't like the baby is in the room with us at that point anyway.
He has stayed with the other babies too, even though I wanted him to go home to rest. He's tall and finds the hospital cots uncomfy, so he brings his own! It's some sort of camping cot (maybe from an army surplus store? Can't remember) that folds up small and is light and he likes it.
I was freaked out at first about my other children with spending the night away from us, but it turned out to be no big deal. I'm sure there can be special circumstances but I think kids are more resilient than we think and spending the night somewhere else or with someone new can be fun for them!
My daughter who will be almost 3, will be staying with my parents.
It is going to just depend how the days go, how long we are staying etc
H said he would go home and help out her to bed then come back so that's probably the plan.
DD1: 9/19/11
DS: 1/1/14
DD2: 1/31/16