And believe me, I have no more rays of hope that he will change his mind. He's a child. But whether anyone likes it or not he is responsible for me and his unborn child. It's not about me right now, I have to think of the baby. And right now it's best that I stay here, and at least he will get to see his daughter for the 10 days he gets off, and then we will get to leave. I have to try and be nice and civil and let him see his daughter because if we go to court I want them to see that I tried and was fair and wasn't bitter because I'm trying to get as much custody as I can
Furthermore I'm not afraid to say anything to him about how I feel because legally with him being military he cannot kick me out of he house, and he cannot stop financially providing for me while we are still married. I have learned this, and his senior chief has already chewed him out about it and told him he needs to grow up.
And believe me, I have no more rays of hope that he will change his mind. He's a child. But whether anyone likes it or not he is responsible for me and his unborn child. It's not about me right now, I have to think of the baby. And right now it's best that I stay here, and at least he will get to see his daughter for the 10 days he gets off, and then we will get to leave. I have to try and be nice and civil and let him see his daughter because if we go to court I want them to see that I tried and was fair and wasn't bitter because I'm trying to get as much custody as I can
You're absolutely right IMO, both with this and the other two comments responding to @MamaHolland 's post. I haven't seen anything to suggest he's trying to manipulate you with support, and even if he is, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take it. It's not like he's playing sugar daddy; he's just doing what he's morally and sounds like militarily required to do for the short term.
You SHOULD get child support long term if you're entitled to it. There's no shame in that. You should both share in the care of your child. It has nothing to do with who is right or wrong or pride or control.
Also, depending on your state, if you don't have permission to leave the state with the baby, he can cause all kinds of problems for you in the divorce, which you know. And your plan to let him spend time with the baby is great, for him, for the baby, and for the divorce.
I love @MamaHolland 's tone of independence, so I don't mean any disrespect. But I've been following this thread and @babybluu I've been so impressed with your fantastic decision making in such a horribly difficult situation. As far as I can tell, you're doing an amazing job and making the best decisions for you and your baby so keep it up.
And believe me, I have no more rays of hope that he will change his mind. He's a child. But whether anyone likes it or not he is responsible for me and his unborn child. It's not about me right now, I have to think of the baby. And right now it's best that I stay here, and at least he will get to see his daughter for the 10 days he gets off, and then we will get to leave. I have to try and be nice and civil and let him see his daughter because if we go to court I want them to see that I tried and was fair and wasn't bitter because I'm trying to get as much custody as I can
You're absolutely right IMO, both with this and the other two comments responding to @MamaHolland 's post. I haven't seen anything to suggest he's trying to manipulate you with support, and even if he is, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take it. It's not like he's playing sugar daddy; he's just doing what he's morally and sounds like militarily required to do for the short term.
You SHOULD get child support long term if you're entitled to it. There's no shame in that. You should both share in the care of your child. It has nothing to do with who is right or wrong or pride or control.
Also, depending on your state, if you don't have permission to leave the state with the baby, he can cause all kinds of problems for you in the divorce, which you know. And your plan to let him spend time with the baby is great, for him, for the baby, and for the divorce.
I love @MamaHolland 's tone of independence, so I don't mean any disrespect. But I've been following this thread and @babybluu I've been so impressed with your fantastic decision making in such a horribly difficult situation. As far as I can tell, you're doing an amazing job and making the best decisions for you and your baby so keep it up.
Thank you. And as bad as it sounds my decision to kill him with kindness has stemmed from wanting to make him feel guilty. If it doesn't work, oh well he's heartless. But if it does, great. If I'm a jerk he's not going to feel bad about his decision at all. I just can't wait to see his face when he sees his daughter for the last time in at least 9-10 months to see if he actually thinks this is worth it. I'm still in shock that someone can do this to their family for their own selfish reason of "wanting to be single". Like that's literally the most selfish thing I've ever heard. I could be wrong in this thought, but honestly I think he needs to man up and be the father and husband he promised he would be. Just not wanting to be married is a pathetic excuse for divorce in my opinion.
@babybluu I've been following this post too and I agree that your attitude has been amazing. You've been so strong and it makes me happy to know that you're not just letting yourself break down and give up!
@babybluu I've been following this post too and I agree that your attitude has been amazing. You've been so strong and it makes me happy to know that you're not just letting yourself break down and give up!
Thanks. It's so easy to display bravery over text, but in reality I cry multiple times a day. I still love him, but I hate him at the same time. His face makes me want to bash it in, so I've been avoiding him when he comes over. The only thing I can keep saying to myself is that it's just not fair. And on top of everything I just realized today that I was an idiot 2 years ago and we got our wedding date tattooed on our collar bones together. He already has a huge chest piece that will make it easy to cover his up, but I don't and I don't know what I will get to cover it up. I'm such a mess and it's been 6 days and hasn't gotten any easier. I think I'm lying when I say I don't want him back too. He doesn't deserve for someone to be crying over him every day. He really doesn't. And I can't stop being in shock that it's been almost a whole week and he hasn't changed his mind. I just want this baby to come so I can focus on her and gtfo of this town and move on. It's so much harder being here right now
@babybluu I've been following this post too and I agree that your attitude has been amazing. You've been so strong and it makes me happy to know that you're not just letting yourself break down and give up!
Thanks. It's so easy to display bravery over text, but in reality I cry multiple times a day. I still love him, but I hate him at the same time. His face makes me want to bash it in, so I've been avoiding him when he comes over. The only thing I can keep saying to myself is that it's just not fair. And on top of everything I just realized today that I was an idiot 2 years ago and we got our wedding date tattooed on our collar bones together. He already has a huge chest piece that will make it easy to cover his up, but I don't and I don't know what I will get to cover it up. I'm such a mess and it's been 6 days and hasn't gotten any easier. I think I'm lying when I say I don't want him back too. He doesn't deserve for someone to be crying over him every day. He really doesn't. And I can't stop being in shock that it's been almost a whole week and he hasn't changed his mind. I just want this baby to come so I can focus on her and gtfo of this town and move on. It's so much harder being here right now
You are a phenomenal person. Bravery has nothing to do with how many times you've cried. It's the fact that you have the guts to move on and go through with this without begging and crying at his feet. My dad left my mom after she caught him cheating. She was willing to work it out, but he chose to be single instead. I remember specifically times I found my mom on the floor when I was a child and she was overcome with grief. And she is still to this day the bravest person I know. Some days you're not going to be able to pick yourself up off the floor. But you know what? You keep going. Life goes on. The world keeps turning. Some days suck and some days you won't even think about him. But the fact that you're doing it every single day makes you phenomenal. Your sweet baby is going to have a wonderful, self-empowered, strong, gentle, and brave woman to look up to. They will never forget it either.
Re: Need advice. About to be a single mom
You SHOULD get child support long term if you're entitled to it. There's no shame in that. You should both share in the care of your child. It has nothing to do with who is right or wrong or pride or control.
Also, depending on your state, if you don't have permission to leave the state with the baby, he can cause all kinds of problems for you in the divorce, which you know. And your plan to let him spend time with the baby is great, for him, for the baby, and for the divorce.
I love @MamaHolland 's tone of independence, so I don't mean any disrespect. But I've been following this thread and @babybluu I've been so impressed with your fantastic decision making in such a horribly difficult situation. As far as I can tell, you're doing an amazing job and making the best decisions for you and your baby so keep it up.
Thank you. And as bad as it sounds my decision to kill him with kindness has stemmed from wanting to make him feel guilty. If it doesn't work, oh well he's heartless. But if it does, great. If I'm a jerk he's not going to feel bad about his decision at all. I just can't wait to see his face when he sees his daughter for the last time in at least 9-10 months to see if he actually thinks this is worth it. I'm still in shock that someone can do this to their family for their own selfish reason of "wanting to be single". Like that's literally the most selfish thing I've ever heard. I could be wrong in this thought, but honestly I think he needs to man up and be the father and husband he promised he would be. Just not wanting to be married is a pathetic excuse for divorce in my opinion.
Thanks. It's so easy to display bravery over text, but in reality I cry multiple times a day. I still love him, but I hate him at the same time. His face makes me want to bash it in, so I've been avoiding him when he comes over. The only thing I can keep saying to myself is that it's just not fair. And on top of everything I just realized today that I was an idiot 2 years ago and we got our wedding date tattooed on our collar bones together. He already has a huge chest piece that will make it easy to cover his up, but I don't and I don't know what I will get to cover it up. I'm such a mess and it's been 6 days and hasn't gotten any easier. I think I'm lying when I say I don't want him back too. He doesn't deserve for someone to be crying over him every day. He really doesn't. And I can't stop being in shock that it's been almost a whole week and he hasn't changed his mind. I just want this baby to come so I can focus on her and gtfo of this town and move on. It's so much harder being here right now