Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Can I ask to be put on bed rest?
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
OP made the comment that she's not the "suck it up" type. She's going to have to become one when the baby arrives, unless she has the luxury of a lot of hands-on help. The first year of a child's life IS a challenge. I disagree that it's ridiculous to point this out.
Also, there is a huge difference between "knowing/understanding" & actually doing. There was no insinuation-- parenting is hard, full stop. Rewarding, but difficult.
I don't believe that makes me outright wrong or a poor choice of words to say this to someone complaining that they feel like they just can't go to work at this stage. Later, there is no "just not going into work". Self-care is important, but being sick happens. The world just can't stop when you've got a tiny person that depends on you. I'm not saying that OP can't hack it parenting (in general), just stating that it gets considerably more complicated once baby is here.
I'm don't really understand how any of that is "ridiculous"? If anything it's sound, rational advice. Just because it seems obvious, doesn't mean it is. Shoot, there are a ton of seemingly obvious posts all over the boards that scream, "please call your doctor" or other things that, to me, should be common knowledge. So it seems unreasonable to take me to task for legitimate advice aimed at parenting while sick.
In any event, I find it ridiculous to ask for a note from the doctor for a cold. Start your maternity leave early or call in sick. If the employer doesn't like it, then what are they going to do? If they fire her then so be it. My question still stands, what will this employer do if the baby gets sick?
If it's just a couple days I'd either tough it out or call in. Getting the doctor involved doesn't legitimize her sickness (so it seems) to this employer.
There are panties twisted here for reasons that baffle me. Discounting my advice as ridiculous seems like an unnecessarily negative & short-sighted thing to do. Especially since I'm not saying this in a mean-spirited or otherwise malevolent way.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Actually @PrimRoseMama I think you misunderstood or misread this post. She said she usually IS a suck-it-up kind of person, but considering the circumstances (sick, recently working a ton, scheduled c-section coming up--today in fact!) She understandably didn't feel like sticking it out, and frankly it would probably be detrimental for her health and for the health of her newborn if she had.
Of COURSE things will change when the baby arrives. All the more reason to take advantage of her ability to really focus on herself and her health NOW. And I don't know about you ladies, but when I'm sick I have this thing called a husband. He's really great at stepping up his game and taking on more than his fair share of the work so I can recuperate. And I do the same for him.
I do totally agree with your assertion that having an unsupportive job as a new parent is bullocks and not really worth the stress or headache. I agree that she should probably look into finding something better for the long-term.
Some folks have husbands (like you and me) that are great when they are sick. Some don't. I don't know what kind of partner this woman has. She didn't say. Either way, she got the two days off so at this point its pointless to rehash.
Generally, if someone is this quick to arm-flail about two days of having to suck it up at work while pregnant-sick, then I DO wonder about their ability to deal with a newborn. I do the same thing with other posts that are somewhat overblown. At any rate, there is nothing to be done about this situation. Arguing anymore on the interwebz is just going to frustrate everyone.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I think her request SEEMED overblown and flaily because she mistakenly called it bedrest. But the request itself wasn't unreasonable. She said her cold was flu-like, so I doubt it was just the sniffles. I get an entire month off before my due date, if I choose to take it. What's truly ridiculous are the dismal leave laws in this country that force women to work up until they go into labor, sick or otherwise, and then rush back to work while they might still be recovering from childbirth.
We can agree here.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Acting like she is stupid?
Being insulting?
Tearing people down?
Are we on the same thread?
What is even happening?
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
More like God forbid someone doesn't tell you exactly what you want to hear. There's always the oneeee person who comes in to call everyone mean.
Dammit @ssnodgrass24 what have you done?
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
Me: 33 DH: 34
DS1: March 18, 2016
DS2: due June 7, 2018
You're calling foul on what I said?
This thread:
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Ohhhh ok. Got cha. Yes, I was actually talking about the OP.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
P.S. Rude? Reeeeeaallly?