I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
Edit QBF--------------------
Yes I'm assuming it's a "big deal" because of what she's asking for. I also think it's safe to assume she meant actual "bed rest" because she wanted to ask her doctor to put her on it. I don't normally agree with assuming things but I think it's pretty safe in this situation.
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I mean, that's the title of the thread "Can I ask to be put on bed rest?" and also in the original post it said something along the lines of asking to be put on bed rest so she can force her employer to let her off work for the rest of the week. I'm sorry, but girlfriend knew what she was asking for and it was bed rest.
I can empathize with women that are over it by the end and that want to stay home from work. And I agree that pregnancy is not a one size fit all kind of thing and some handle it better than others, but she clearly wanted to manipulate her employer into allowing her to not work by seeking to be put on "bed rest' by her medical professional. The same employers that do not have to give her time off for leave or keep her job for her since she is a temp...
As @DrillSergeantCat mentioned, looking at her posting history OP will never be so I suppose it will be a mystery foreverrrr
Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.
Who's attacking her, seriously? Isn't that a little dramatic? She asked a question, she got opinions.
@DrillSergeantCat Post and Ghost haha I haven't heard that before!! Lol
Dramatic is the perfect word to describe most of the responses to this thread. Sure, people gave opinions. Gotcha
I'm in HR and people get drs excuses to miss work for a lot less than the last few days of a full term pregnancy. Just throwing it out there.
Isn't it against rules/regulations to require doctors notes for missing work now? If you are needing disability, or job responsibilities changed (lifting heavy things, etc...) then I know it can be required.......but if I were to tell my employer that I am sick and staying home, they can't legally require a doctors note, correct?
If the OP couldn't push through the last couple days of work, she should just be honest with her employer, tell them, and take the days unpaid if need be. I don't understand the need to involve a doctor at all at this point. Act like an adult, not a high school teeny bopper trying to get out of doing chores.....
One thing to note is that bed rest -- actual bed rest -- comes with risks such as blood clots, depression, etc. My doctors did not take recommending that for me lightly. Also, it's awful, boring and actually brought in more aches and pains than when I was active.
But I don't think OP is asking to be on true bed rest, but to get written out of work by her doctor to say she's on bed rest. If that's the case it's one of those situations that makes all pregnant women on bed rest look bad. I already worry people think I like it or am lucky to be on bed rest, when it reality it was necessary and the last thing I wanted.
I agree with those who suggest she take a few days off and rest up.
Threads like these really tend to point out the ftm's and the pregnancies that will be their only one. OP had 2 or 3 days left to "cope with pregnancy". Obviously she doesn't currently have a child at home and I really hope she doesn't have any "aches and pains" while raising this child because you can't just quit because of a little discomfort. There are more than a few times during pregnancy and raising children that you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with life. When your pregnant and/or have children you're no longer priority #1.
DS is 13 months old and i'm expecting in Feb. There are days when i'm literally running after him with his diaper or another article of clothing off, i'm naseous, hurting, sick etc. and in the verge of tears and I just want to break down and cry and take a day off cause H has been working all day going on 10 hours and I just feel like i'm about to break but I can't. I just have to catch DS, put his diaper back on, pull my hair back, brush off my tears and keep going cause DS depends on me to keep taking care of him. Thank you @kynbar5 for acknowledging the struggle
I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
------------
I personally don't think PPs are getting fired up, but it kinda seems like you are...
It's one thing to ask to be put on bed rest, it's another to ask the doctor for a note to get off work if she really is feeling so sick and tired. I feel like bed rest is more of a long term commitment and without reason, most doctors wouldn't put her on it anyways.
I personally have a problem with people asking for EI when they don't deserve it, because in Canada it uses taxpayers money. But using your own sick leave or taking leave without pay is completely up to you.
@mamacastro lol no problem! I understand the struggle whole heartedly. I think that's why this post aggravated me. I mean, like you said, when there is a little one with their lives literally in your hands you have to put your problems to the side. I have 5, waiting on (our last) little one. They're aged 11-1. Honestly though, whether you are pregnant with one, already have one or even 10, I stand by what I said. Their needs always, always trump yours. That's just being a parent. I wouldn't trade it for the world!
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Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.
I think if she asked/told her employer that she needs the rest of the week off that would be one thing, but to ask your doctor to lie and say you need to be on bed rest? Rubs people the wrong way. ESPECIALLY since said employer doesn't have to give her ANY time off for baby or keep her job for her after her leave.
Coming from a country with a year's paid mat leave (which can be started at any point in the pregnancy) to the USA where I get three months that can't begin until I go into labor (and apparently that's "really good".....) , I actually DO often feel shocked that a sick, pregnant person is not given any additional consideration over and beyond a healthy unpregnant person. I find it bizarre and frightening.
However..... Op if you were sick, why not get a doctor's note saying you have the flu? Or just work those last two days because you DID say you made it to the very end and you'll survive two final days? I just.. as much as i find mat leave here to be barbaric and nonsensical, I don't like when people throw around the idea of bed rest and hope, like other users, that you were simply asking about "a sick day" and were using the term incorrectly.
I'm in HR and people get drs excuses to miss work for a lot less than the last few days of a full term pregnancy. Just throwing it out there.
Isn't it against rules/regulations to require doctors notes for missing work now? If you are needing disability, or job responsibilities changed (lifting heavy things, etc...) then I know it can be required.......but if I were to tell my employer that I am sick and staying home, they can't legally require a doctors note, correct?
If the OP couldn't push through the last couple days of work, she should just be honest with her employer, tell them, and take the days unpaid if need be. I don't understand the need to involve a doctor at all at this point. Act like an adult, not a high school teeny bopper trying to get out of doing chores.....
Yeah this is my thinking. Why not just take a sick day? Yeah, ok. You look like a bit of a fibber taking your last day off before a long leave because you're "sick"... but it's actually irresponsible to come to work with a flu.
Obviously she only has a couple days left until her csection and I'm sure the doctor wouldn't have put her on bed rest but I have a friend who was able to get short term disability because her body was in so much pain all the time standing at work and it kept her from being able to fulfill her duties. Everyone's situation is different and if everyone could take advantage of the time off I'm sure they would. I had some actual pregnancy issues that I could have taken short term disability for but I didn't need best rest. Since I knew I was leaving once my baby was born anyways I just put my notice in early.
If OP was struggling that much she doesn't need to ask a medical professional to put their ethics and license on the line by lying for her-- all she has to do is call in sick to work. If she's not struggling that much and can stick it out the two days then she should probably stick it out. Either way, the part that was a bit bothersome about the original post was asking a doc to lie for her when all she has to do ((if she's honestly struggling)) is to call her work and explain that she's too sick to come in.
Wow. So "obviously" YES I am a first time mom. I am so very sorry to the extremely sensitive folks that I used the incorrect term. I was not aware a doctor could just write me a note and it not be considered bed rest. Yes, my doctor did in fact write me a note without blinking an eye because WHY would I suffer through an illness before having a major surgery? GOOD FOR YOU if you can be a stick it out kinda gal, I typically am. But when I can barely move or breathe, I am not going to try and be too proud, I will try to make myself better so I can take better care of my child when he arrives. I have worked 50+ hours a week up until this week. But guess what, IM FREAKING SICK. Call me weak? Or whatever you may want to call it. I don't really freakin care. Do I think I can "call in" with my kid when I am pregnant with my second? Funny... No I don't. But why not take advantage of the fact that I do not have other obligations and can take the time to myself. I typically am a "post and ghost" because i get the answer I need and move along. I'm not here to have an Internet party or bash fest. But if you're going to try and talk down on me for thinking about my health days before I'm about to bring in a baby into the world? F off.
To those who had my back, thank you ladies. Obviously we all have to be hardasses and if you're not, you're the devil himself. *GASP*
Another note- no I could not call into work. My boss is a heartless woman. I was not going to risk my income to call in sick. I didn't call in but twice during this pregnancy because of this very reason. I am blessed to have a job to come back to, but it's because of the actions I took leading up to my delivery. I didn't take advantage of the "crutch" of being pregnant when there were many times I could. I don't get PTO/vacation/paid leave. So that was not an option.
I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through.
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right?
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally.
I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that.
I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
I've done a bout in an OB office and at the end of pregnancy we talk to women about whether or not they are still working and whether or not they still Feel they can. It's not uncommon at all for women to start their leave a few days early. Granted these are not temp employees typically. I'm starting my FMLA tomorrow, I'm not dying and I didn't actually ask. My boss told me it was time. I'll likely be induced early next week so I'm grateful for the time as I look like a puffer toad now. But had she not brought it up, I wouldn't have asked. Although I have been working full time and going to school full time and have been a full time parent my entire pregnancy so I'm not going to feel guilty about a couple days to get my house in order before baby.
Wow. So "obviously" YES I am a first time mom. I am so very sorry to the extremely sensitive folks that I used the incorrect term. I was not aware a doctor could just write me a note and it not be considered bed rest. Yes, my doctor did in fact write me a note without blinking an eye because WHY would I suffer through an illness before having a major surgery? GOOD FOR YOU if you can be a stick it out kinda gal, I typically am. But when I can barely move or breathe, I am not going to try and be too proud, I will try to make myself better so I can take better care of my child when he arrives. I have worked 50+ hours a week up until this week. But guess what, IM FREAKING SICK. Call me weak? Or whatever you may want to call it. I don't really freakin care. Do I think I can "call in" with my kid when I am pregnant with my second? Funny... No I don't. But why not take advantage of the fact that I do not have other obligations and can take the time to myself. I typically am a "post and ghost" because i get the answer I need and move along. I'm not here to have an Internet party or bash fest. But if you're going to try and talk down on me for thinking about my health days before I'm about to bring in a baby into the world? F off.
To those who had my back, thank you ladies. Obviously we all have to be hardasses and if you're not, you're the devil himself. *GASP*
So you're pissed because you didn't like the responses you got? You were expecting everyone to be all "omg gurl totes ask your doc!!!" and they weren't so now everyone gets told to "F off"? Alrighty then! Also, did you really LOL at @PrimRoseMama's insightful and genuine response?
So, am I flaking on my commitment and responsibilities to my workplace any and every time I take a day or two off due to illness? Because the op stated that she'd been sick. I really don't blame her for wanting to take time to rest and recuperate before major abdominal surgery and then having to care for a newborn. Calling it "bed rest" was dumb, but I guess she didn't mean what everyone assumed and she wasn't asking her doctor to lie.
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off
This is a really good point, and something to consider. It's really stressful when you're a parent of a little one and your employer isn't sensitive or flexible.
I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through.
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right?
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally.
I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that.
I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
I HATE when people say this. You and I go back and forth all the time so naturally I'm not afraid to say when I think you're being ridiculous and this is one of those times. The bolded is just insulting.
I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through.
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid.
Isn't she prioritizing her unborn child by taking care of herself? I wouldn't "push through" being sick a couple days before major surgery either, as it could jeopardize my recovery time, for one, and for two, if she's not over her illness once the baby is here, she could then pass it on to her newborn.
It's really stupid and rude to keep saying that she's going to be ill equipped to handle her children if she gets sick in the future. I'm sure there was a moment in time before you had kids where you just wanted to be under a blanket watching movies all day, or the like, because you weren't feeling well. That had no impact on your ability to suck it up once your children arrived.
I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through.
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right?
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally.
I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that.
I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
I HATE when people say this. You and I go back and forth all the time so naturally I'm not afraid to say when I think you're being ridiculous and this is one of those times. The bolded is just insulting.
@Bigboobsmcgee : I've seen you white-knighting throughout a lot of posts while I've been lurking. Sometimes I wonder if you are purposefully being argumentative vs. Real disagreement?
It's absolutely NOT ridiculous to state the truth. Two weeks ago I had strep. I got my meds & parented my kids. I am a SAHM. I can't call in sick. Many working parents I know have this problem as well. However, sometimes they can take their kids to preschool or daycare & actually take the day off.
It's absolutely true that it's difficult to parent & be sick. What part of my statement was ridiculous?
I'm happy to agree to disagree, but I do object to being labeled "ridiculous" when I'm being perfectly rational.
Wow. So "obviously" YES I am a first time mom. I am so very sorry to the extremely sensitive folks that I used the incorrect term. I was not aware a doctor could just write me a note and it not be considered bed rest. Yes, my doctor did in fact write me a note without blinking an eye because WHY would I suffer through an illness before having a major surgery? GOOD FOR YOU if you can be a stick it out kinda gal, I typically am. But when I can barely move or breathe, I am not going to try and be too proud, I will try to make myself better so I can take better care of my child when he arrives. I have worked 50+ hours a week up until this week. But guess what, IM FREAKING SICK. Call me weak? Or whatever you may want to call it. I don't really freakin care. Do I think I can "call in" with my kid when I am pregnant with my second? Funny... No I don't. But why not take advantage of the fact that I do not have other obligations and can take the time to myself. I typically am a "post and ghost" because i get the answer I need and move along. I'm not here to have an Internet party or bash fest. But if you're going to try and talk down on me for thinking about my health days before I'm about to bring in a baby into the world? F off.
To those who had my back, thank you ladies. Obviously we all have to be hardasses and if you're not, you're the devil himself. *GASP*
Wow, post and ghost and admit it... Way to use the community without bothering to contribute anything of your own.
DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011
I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through.
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right?
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally.
I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that.
I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
I HATE when people say this. You and I go back and forth all the time so naturally I'm not afraid to say when I think you're being ridiculous and this is one of those times. The bolded is just insulting.
@Bigboobsmcgee : I've seen you white-knighting throughout a lot of posts while I've been lurking. Sometimes I wonder if you are purposefully being argumentative vs. Real disagreement?
It's absolutely NOT ridiculous to state the truth. Two weeks ago I had strep. I got my meds & parented my kids. I am a SAHM. I can't call in sick. Many working parents I know have this problem as well. However, sometimes they can take their kids to preschool or daycare & actually take the day off.
It's absolutely true that it's difficult to parent & be sick. What part of my statement was ridiculous?
I'm happy to agree to disagree, but I do object to being labeled "ridiculous" when I'm being perfectly rational.
If you really think I'm white knighting when I disagree with the majority, that is totally fine with me. I really don't care what people call it.
But yes, I do think you are being ridiculous. No shit parents can't take sick days when they have kids. It's insulting to others to state something so obvious, assuming parents with less experience than you won't realize this. I don't dislike you at all and I know you think you are being rational but IMO you are being presumptuous.
A pregnant woman that has never parented an infant-- they might not know that it sucks ass to be sick, but not be able to spend the day in bed. I'm speaking from my experience only, if you notice. I am actually not making any presumptions, but simply stating how I see it. You are choosing to take up the WK banner & shield to call me out. That's cool. I disagree with you that making my points requires no presumption. This woman (OP) has never parented & said so herself that she's a FTM. So it's not presumption to tell her that parents don't get sick days.
Re: Can I ask to be put on bed rest?
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
@DrillSergeantCat Post and Ghost haha I haven't heard that before!! Lol
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
Edit QBF--------------------Yes I'm assuming it's a "big deal" because of what she's asking for. I also think it's safe to assume she meant actual "bed rest" because she wanted to ask her doctor to put her on it. I don't normally agree with assuming things but I think it's pretty safe in this situation.
I mean, that's the title of the thread "Can I ask to be put on bed rest?" and also in the original post it said something along the lines of asking to be put on bed rest so she can force her employer to let her off work for the rest of the week. I'm sorry, but girlfriend knew what she was asking for and it was bed rest.
I can empathize with women that are over it by the end and that want to stay home from work. And I agree that pregnancy is not a one size fit all kind of thing and some handle it better than others, but she clearly wanted to manipulate her employer into allowing her to not work by seeking to be put on "bed rest' by her medical professional. The same employers that do not have to give her time off for leave or keep her job for her since she is a temp...
As @DrillSergeantCat mentioned, looking at her posting history OP will never be so I suppose it will be a mystery foreverrrr
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
*Kate*
February 2016
Isn't it against rules/regulations to require doctors notes for missing work now? If you are needing disability, or job responsibilities changed (lifting heavy things, etc...) then I know it can be required.......but if I were to tell my employer that I am sick and staying home, they can't legally require a doctors note, correct?
If the OP couldn't push through the last couple days of work, she should just be honest with her employer, tell them, and take the days unpaid if need be. I don't understand the need to involve a doctor at all at this point. Act like an adult, not a high school teeny bopper trying to get out of doing chores.....
January siggy challenge - Pregnant lady problems
I don't think 'most of the responses' are dramatic but hey, even if they are:
Dramatic =\= Attacking
But I don't think OP is asking to be on true bed rest, but to get written out of work by her doctor to say she's on bed rest. If that's the case it's one of those situations that makes all pregnant women on bed rest look bad. I already worry people think I like it or am lucky to be on bed rest, when it reality it was necessary and the last thing I wanted.
I agree with those who suggest she take a few days off and rest up.
How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"
Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.
------------I personally don't think PPs are getting fired up, but it kinda seems like you are...
It's one thing to ask to be put on bed rest, it's another to ask the doctor for a note to get off work if she really is feeling so sick and tired. I feel like bed rest is more of a long term commitment and without reason, most doctors wouldn't put her on it anyways.
I personally have a problem with people asking for EI when they don't deserve it, because in Canada it uses taxpayers money. But using your own sick leave or taking leave without pay is completely up to you.
Coming from a country with a year's paid mat leave (which can be started at any point in the pregnancy) to the USA where I get three months that can't begin until I go into labor (and apparently that's "really good".....) , I actually DO often feel shocked that a sick, pregnant person is not given any additional consideration over and beyond a healthy unpregnant person. I find it bizarre and frightening.
However..... Op if you were sick, why not get a doctor's note saying you have the flu? Or just work those last two days because you DID say you made it to the very end and you'll survive two final days? I just.. as much as i find mat leave here to be barbaric and nonsensical, I don't like when people throw around the idea of bed rest and hope, like other users, that you were simply asking about "a sick day" and were using the term incorrectly.
Yeah this is my thinking. Why not just take a sick day? Yeah, ok. You look like a bit of a fibber taking your last day off before a long leave because you're "sick"... but it's actually irresponsible to come to work with a flu.
To those who had my back, thank you ladies. Obviously we all have to be hardasses and if you're not, you're the devil himself. *GASP*
So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right?
I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.
I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally.
I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that.
I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Alrighty then!
Also, did you really LOL at @PrimRoseMama's insightful and genuine response?
@Bigboobsmcgee : I've seen you white-knighting throughout a lot of posts while I've been lurking. Sometimes I wonder if you are purposefully being argumentative vs. Real disagreement?
It's absolutely NOT ridiculous to state the truth. Two weeks ago I had strep. I got my meds & parented my kids. I am a SAHM. I can't call in sick. Many working parents I know have this problem as well. However, sometimes they can take their kids to preschool or daycare & actually take the day off.
It's absolutely true that it's difficult to parent & be sick. What part of my statement was ridiculous?
I'm happy to agree to disagree, but I do object to being labeled "ridiculous" when I'm being perfectly rational.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
If you really think I'm white knighting when I disagree with the majority, that is totally fine with me. I really don't care what people call it.
But yes, I do think you are being ridiculous. No shit parents can't take sick days when they have kids. It's insulting to others to state something so obvious, assuming parents with less experience than you won't realize this. I don't dislike you at all and I know you think you are being rational but IMO you are being presumptuous.
I'm not talking down to anyone.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards: