3rd Trimester

Can I ask to be put on bed rest?

2

Re: Can I ask to be put on bed rest?

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  • kynbar5kynbar5 member
    edited December 2015


    kynbar5 said:

    I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.



    How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"

    Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.

    Edit QBF--------------------

    Yes I'm assuming it's a "big deal" because of what she's asking for. I also think it's safe to assume she meant actual "bed rest" because she wanted to ask her doctor to put her on it. I don't normally agree with assuming things but I think it's pretty safe in this situation.
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  • ecwk said:

    Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.

    Who's attacking her, seriously? Isn't that a little dramatic? She asked a question, she got opinions. @DrillSergeantCat Post and Ghost haha I haven't heard that before!! Lol
    Dramatic is the perfect word to describe most of the responses to this thread. Sure, people gave opinions. Gotcha ;)
  • mcklough said:

    I'm in HR and people get drs excuses to miss work for a lot less than the last few days of a full term pregnancy. Just throwing it out there.

    I honestly doubt these are "temp" people that are graciously being allowed to come back after having a baby though.
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  • One thing to note is that bed rest -- actual bed rest -- comes with risks such as blood clots, depression, etc. My doctors did not take recommending that for me lightly. Also, it's awful, boring and actually brought in more aches and pains than when I was active.

    But I don't think OP is asking to be on true bed rest, but to get written out of work by her doctor to say she's on bed rest. If that's the case it's one of those situations that makes all pregnant women on bed rest look bad. I already worry people think I like it or am lucky to be on bed rest, when it reality it was necessary and the last thing I wanted.

    I agree with those who suggest she take a few days off and rest up.
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  • celainevcelainev member
    edited December 2015


    kynbar5 said:

    I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.



    How do you know if it's a big deal? Perhaps her symptoms really are horrible. I'm not playing devil's advocate to start shit but because people are getting so fired up over this post. God forbid she used the term "bed rest" and people are like "ZOMG YOU DON'T KNOW MY LYFE AND YOU WANT BED REST??!!! I HAVE ALL THESE PAINS BUT I STILL WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK!!!!"

    Sucks that most likely OP won't come back and explain but even if she did, I doubt it would help things.

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    I personally don't think PPs are getting fired up, but it kinda seems like you are...

    It's one thing to ask to be put on bed rest, it's another to ask the doctor for a note to get off work if she really is feeling so sick and tired. I feel like bed rest is more of a long term commitment and without reason, most doctors wouldn't put her on it anyways.

    I personally have a problem with people asking for EI when they don't deserve it, because in Canada it uses taxpayers money. But using your own sick leave or taking leave without pay is completely up to you.
  • @mamacastro lol no problem! I understand the struggle whole heartedly. I think that's why this post aggravated me. I mean, like you said, when there is a little one with their lives literally in your hands you have to put your problems to the side. I have 5, waiting on (our last) little one. They're aged 11-1. Honestly though, whether you are pregnant with one, already have one or even 10, I stand by what I said. Their needs always, always trump yours. That's just being a parent. I wouldn't trade it for the world! :love:
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  • SparkE82 said:
    mcklough said:
    I'm in HR and people get drs excuses to miss work for a lot less than the last few days of a full term pregnancy. Just throwing it out there.

    Isn't it against rules/regulations to require doctors notes for missing work now? If you are needing disability, or job responsibilities changed (lifting heavy things, etc...) then I know it can be required.......but if I were to tell my employer that I am sick and staying home, they can't legally require a doctors note, correct?

    If the OP couldn't push through the last couple days of work, she should just be honest with her employer, tell them, and take the days unpaid if need be. I don't understand the need to involve a doctor at all at this point. Act like an adult, not a high school teeny bopper trying to get out of doing chores.....


    Yeah this is my thinking. Why not just take a sick day? Yeah, ok. You look like a bit of a fibber taking your last day off before a long leave because you're "sick"... but it's actually irresponsible to come to work with a flu.
  • Obviously she only has a couple days left until her csection and I'm sure the doctor wouldn't have put her on bed rest but I have a friend who was able to get short term disability because her body was in so much pain all the time standing at work and it kept her from being able to fulfill her duties. Everyone's situation is different and if everyone could take advantage of the time off I'm sure they would. I had some actual pregnancy issues that I could have taken short term disability for but I didn't need best rest. Since I knew I was leaving once my baby was born anyways I just put my notice in early.
  • Another note- no I could not call into work. My boss is a heartless woman. I was not going to risk my income to call in sick. I didn't call in but twice during this pregnancy because of this very reason. I am blessed to have a job to come back to, but it's because of the actions I took leading up to my delivery. I didn't take advantage of the "crutch" of being pregnant when there were many times I could. I don't get PTO/vacation/paid leave. So that was not an option.
  • @kaitlinforrest glad you got your obviously needed down time, good luck with the birth. :)
  • Thank you! Sorry for the feisty-ness. Hormones do not help
  • Confession: I would ask my Doctor to put me on bed rest if it meant not having to deal with my MIL over the holidays. I kid... I kid... Kinda
  • I've done a bout in an OB office and at the end of pregnancy we talk to women about whether or not they are still working and whether or not they still Feel they can. It's not uncommon at all for women to start their leave a few days early. Granted these are not temp employees typically. I'm starting my FMLA tomorrow, I'm not dying and I didn't actually ask. My boss told me it was time. I'll likely be induced early next week so I'm grateful for the time as I look like a puffer toad now. But had she not brought it up, I wouldn't have asked. Although I have been working full time and going to school full time and have been a full time parent my entire pregnancy so I'm not going to feel guilty about a couple days to get my house in order before baby.
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  • Yay for @PrimRoseMama for putting what I have to say into perfect eloquence once again!
  • Lol

    Pardon?


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  • I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant.

    I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off

    This is a really good point, and something to consider. It's really stressful when you're a parent of a little one and your employer isn't sensitive or flexible.
  •  


    I really hope you don't get sick during the first year of your kid's life. I mean that truly-- because legit -- there is no "calling in" or getting a doctor's note for parenting a baby. You get sick & you have to push through. So it's not about what kind of woman you are or anything. It's about priorities to your kid. So, I'm sorry you are sick now. That sucks, but flaking on your commitment to work this near the finish line doesn't really look good anyway, right? I mean, doctors note or not, your boss doesn't seem to care if you are sick & need personal time. Another thing to consider: do you want a job with no sick leave or PTO? What if your baby gets sick & can't go to daycare? You have to stay home with them.How will your employer handle that? If you can never be absent then you might have a problem. I'm not snarking or trying to be rude. I'm seriously concerned about what you describe & it's compatibility with raising an infant. I might job hunt after the first month you are back because you need a position that allows you to take the occasional day off, just generally. I understand being frustrated at the difference of opinion here, but telling folks to F off isn't really very nice or productive. I'd advise against that. I wish you the best, but you might have to toughen up a bit. You've got a real big challenge this first year of your baby's life.
    I HATE when people say this. You and I go back and forth all the time so naturally I'm not afraid to say when I think you're being ridiculous and this is one of those times. The bolded is just insulting.
  • A pregnant woman that has never parented an infant-- they might not know that it sucks ass to be sick, but not be able to spend the day in bed. I'm speaking from my experience only, if you notice. I am actually not making any presumptions, but simply stating how I see it. You are choosing to take up the WK banner & shield to call me out. That's cool. I disagree with you that making my points requires no presumption. This woman (OP) has never parented & said so herself that she's a FTM. So it's not presumption to tell her that parents don't get sick days.

    I'm not talking down to anyone.


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