Can I ask to be put on bed rest?

kaitlinforrest · December 2015

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I have my last appt with my OB and have a csection scheduled for Monday. I have been having painful Braxton hicks and also have a cold that feels like I have the flu. Ive been pretty tough this whole time, but at this point I am flat out miserable. I've tried to ask my boss if I can go ahead and start my leave now, but she has not been understanding at all. I'm wondering if I'm able to ask my doctor to let me be on bed rest so she has no other option but to let me off the rest of the week.

Side note- I work in a temp position that I'm luckily enough they are letting me come back to after my leave. So it makes things a little more complicated than just going ahead and taking the time off.

PrimRoseMama · December 2015

I think bed rest is reserved for actual medical needs. Everyone is miserable at the end of pregnancy. Misery, in and of itself, is not really a reason for bed rest.

cMichelle0423 · December 2015

PrimRoseMama said:
I think bed rest is reserved for actual medical needs. Everyone is miserable at the end of pregnancy. Misery, in and of itself, is not really a reason for bed rest.

This. You should be thankful that you don't have an actual medical concern that would put you in bed rest.

KristaJToler · December 2015

You can always ask! You may not get the answer you want but you have the right to ask anything you want! Good luck!

ashhsa · December 2015

I agree that there is no harm in asking!!! Just because everyone deals with aches and pains doesn't mean you have to be a superwoman- and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty because you don't have a medical condition!! I think that was mommy guilt and a half!! Just ask- the worst that can happen is they say no. I wouldn't be surprised if they say yes seeing as you are going in Monday!

ambercakes92 · December 2015

ashhsa said:
I agree that there is no harm in asking!!! Just because everyone deals with aches and pains doesn't mean you have to be a superwoman- and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty because you don't have a medical condition!! I think that was mommy guilt and a half!! Just ask- the worst that can happen is they say no. I wouldn't be surprised if they say yes seeing as you are going in Monday!

I don't see any mommy guilt, but otherwise agree with you.

OP, it's certainly worth asking but I would prepare for your doctor to potentially say no. Either way I hope your cold gets better soon.

Edit spelling

kynbar5 · December 2015

ashhsa said:
I agree that there is no harm in asking!!! Just because everyone deals with aches and pains doesn't mean you have to be a superwoman- and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty because you don't have a medical condition!! I think that was mommy guilt and a half!! Just ask- the worst that can happen is they say no. I wouldn't be surprised if they say yes seeing as you are going in Monday!

I agree with the pp's about being thankful you don't have an actual medical need for bed rest. Think of this as a trial run to parenting. Are you going to ask to be secluded to your bed when you have a child to care for but have aches and pains?

MississippiCatfish · December 2015

I agree that it doesn't sound like you need bed rest, in the strict, pregnancy sense of the word. But I don't think it would hurt to call your doctor and say, "Do you think I should take a few days off work to rest up and get over this cold before baby comes?" Doctors write notes to employers all the time for things of this nature, pregnant or not.

oceanchild · December 2015

Fine asking your doctor for a work excuse. But bed rest? Give me a break. If your doctor doesn't feel like lying about how it would be unsafe for you and your baby to be out of bed but gives you a work excuse, feel free to lie about in bed to your heart's content.
And mommy guilt, really?! Huge eyerolls.
Agree with @kynbar5 - just wait until you're exhausted and maybe even sick one day, but there's no one to write you an excuse to take the day off and not take care of your baby.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

I, personally, wouldn't ask to be put on bed rest but I would ask for a doctor's note stating that you need to take some time off. Really, though, we're talking 2 more days right? You can't tough it out for 2 more days especially when the company you're working for is letting you come back after your maternity leave when they really don't have to? To me, it's a loyalty thing.

PrimRoseMama · December 2015

ashhsa said:

I agree that there is no harm in asking!!! Just because everyone deals with aches and pains doesn't mean you have to be a superwoman- and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty because you don't have a medical condition!! I think that was mommy guilt and a half!! Just ask- the worst that can happen is they say no. I wouldn't be surprised if they say yes seeing as you are going in Monday!

No one is guilting her. Simply put-- the end of pregnancy generally sucks. Unless you have a true medical situation that requires bed rest, I would just tough it out. That's not being "super woman" or martyrdom-- its just rolling with the punches of pregnancy. True story, when I was pregnant with #2 (DS) my toddler gave no cares about how tired/sick/in pain I was. She wanted to play/cuddle/whatever. I was still active, still participating and parenting. I don't think its really a valid reason to ask your doctor for bed rest.

If you ask-- be prepared for a no. Sure you can ask, but they might side eye you.

Sarcasm101 · December 2015

No. Don't ask to be put on bed rest. You cant seriously think this is a good idea. You have 3 more days of work. I am sorry but stack up, you don't have any medical issues. You are pregnant, and that does not disable you.

Being put on bedrest is a serious thing. And you asking to use it as an excuse to get out of work, is a slap in the face to all women who have had to suffer through real, needed bedrest.

And your boss knows you want to stop working early, so don't you think she might be a bit suspicious if all the suppose you are put on bedrest?

PrimRoseMama · December 2015

Sarcasm101 said:

No. Don't ask to be put on bed rest. You cant seriously think this is a good idea. You have 3 more days of work. I am sorry but stack up, you don't have any medical issues. You are pregnant, and that does not disable you.
Being put on bedrest is a serious thing. And you asking to use it as an excuse to get out of work, is a slap in the face to all women who have had to suffer through real, needed bedrest.
And your boss knows you want to stop working early, so don't you think she might be a bit suspicious if all the suppose you are put on bedrest?

I love you.

Sarcasm101 · December 2015

PrimRoseMama said:

Sarcasm101 said:

No. Don't ask to be put on bed rest. You cant seriously think this is a good idea. You have 3 more days of work. I am sorry but stack up, you don't have any medical issues. You are pregnant, and that does not disable you.
Being put on bedrest is a serious thing. And you asking to use it as an excuse to get out of work, is a slap in the face to all women who have had to suffer through real, needed bedrest.
And your boss knows you want to stop working early, so don't you think she might be a bit suspicious if all the suppose you are put on bedrest?

I love you.

back at ya!

ZoeyRaeJames · December 2015

What?! WHY?! I had to be put on bed rest for a week in October, because I had a really bad sinus infection AND a bad case of the stomach flu! Do you NOT know how much fun that ISN'T!? Even for a week, it was hell on me. I couldn't go outside with me dogs like I do normally, and like I can now do. I couldn't get up to cook, another thing I love to do, besides go out with my dogs. And much, much more! I could only get up to pee, and that was about it. People are crazy, of they willingly want bed rest. Especially if you don't have a TRUE medical reason for it.

groovylocks · December 2015

My blood pressure has been hovering around 70/40 - 85/45 ish.. Nobody knows why. I faint a fair bit. It's been going on since late in my first/early in second trimester.

I am not on bedrest - my doctor suggested (not even insisted.. just suggested) I work from home if possible, which I did because I felt like i couldn't breathe on the freeway last week - not fun OR safe. No need for me to be At Large.

But I'm nowhere near bedrest.

Bedrest is for moms with serious complications.

What you're dealing with definitely sounds annoying. And if you're on your feet all day, I could see how the BHs could be hard to deal with. But talk to your doctor about strategies for getting through these last few days.

taysun · December 2015

I hate being on bed rest, and I'm only on modified bed rest. I actually want to laugh at the idea of someone asking to be put on bed rest. Suck it up or take a day off to relax. But don't ask your doctor to be put on bed rest.

spottedginger · December 2015

taysun said:
I hate being on bed rest, and I'm only on modified bed rest. I actually want to laugh at the idea of someone asking to be put on bed rest. Suck it up or take a day off to relax. But don't ask your doctor to be put on bed rest.

Preach it, girl. I am on strict bed rest and would trade it in a heart beat for not having the uncertainty about little man's health and well being.

ashhsa · December 2015

Well Im on bed rest too... I've actually been in hospital the last 2 days- I just got home. And I really don't see why it's such a big deal to ask? Not everyone copes well with pregnancy- she obviously wants some time out before the baby- and if that is the only way to get it, there is no harm in asking... To each there own I suppose. But OP did you ask? And if so, what did the doctor say?

queenwog · December 2015

ashhsa said:
Well Im on bed rest too... I've actually been in hospital the last 2 days- I just got home. And I really don't see why it's such a big deal to ask? Not everyone copes well with pregnancy- she obviously wants some time out before the baby- and if that is the only way to get it, there is no harm in asking... To each there own I suppose. But OP did you ask? And if so, what did the doctor say?

"Not everyone copes well with pregnancy" is a cop out. Not everyone copes well with having an infant to care for, either, but that doesn't mean you can just NOT do it.

ashhsa · December 2015

People can ask for help though yeah? I really don't see what the big deal is.

queenwog · December 2015

She wants her doctor to lie and say she's in much worse condition than she is. Bed rest is no joke, and women aren't put on bed rest unless they absolutely need to be because it's a serious matter. Asking your doctor to lie and say you need to be on bed rest when you don't makes light of those who have legitimate medical conditions requiring bed rest. Would you go to your doctor and say, "can you tell my boss I have cancer? I just need a break"?

ashhsa · December 2015

Presonally I think you are really over reacting. There is no harm in asking. Her doctor can always say no. And I'm very aware of how serious best rest is- seeing as I'm it's prisoner at the moment. I'll do whatever is best for mine and my babies health, and this muma (op) might really need a break right now for all sorts of reasons- I don't see the harm in asking for one- besides- she has either asked or not by now surely, I'm curious to know what she did- maybe she decided it wasn't worth asking?

cMichelle0423 · December 2015

ashhsa said:
Presonally I think you are really over reacting. There is no harm in asking. Her doctor can always say no. And I'm very aware of how serious best rest is- seeing as I'm it's prisoner at the moment. I'll do whatever is best for mine and my babies health, and this muma (op) might really need a break right now for all sorts of reasons- I don't see the harm in asking for one- besides- she has either asked or not by now surely, I'm curious to know what she did- maybe she decided it wasn't worth asking?

I think at some point in every pregnancy, mom could use a break. Doesn't mean you should ask your doctor to lie just so you can get a couple extra days off. That's ridiculous. What are y'all going to do after you have your children and "need a break"? Being pregnant isn't an excuse to stop being a responsible adult/parent.

kynbar5 · December 2015

Threads like these really tend to point out the ftm's and the pregnancies that will be their only one. OP had 2 or 3 days left to "cope with pregnancy". Obviously she doesn't currently have a child at home and I really hope she doesn't have any "aches and pains" while raising this child because you can't just quit because of a little discomfort. There are more than a few times during pregnancy and raising children that you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with life. When your pregnant and/or have children you're no longer priority #1.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

kynbar5 said: Threads like these really tend to point out the ftm's and the pregnancies that will be their only one. OP had 2 or 3 days left to "cope with pregnancy". Obviously she doesn't currently have a child at home and I really hope she doesn't have any "aches and pains" while raising this child because you can't just quit because of a little discomfort. There are more than a few times during pregnancy and raising children that you just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with life. When your pregnant and/or have children you're no longer priority #1.

---------------------------------------------------qbf--------------------------------------------------It's the 2 or 3 days part that got to me. I mean seriously....it's days, not weeks or months. I would have just been honest with my employer and said, "I am taking Thursday and Friday off. I'll see you in 6-8 weeks. Thanks for allowing me to come back afterwards."

Ktjennks · December 2015

I know doctors can't legally give you written permission for your work so that your schedule is altered they will get in huge trouble for doing that and probably lose their jobs. Unless you are in a high risk pregnancy or something is of real concern for the doctors (at least that's how it is in VA). So no, your doctor won't "lie" for you or just put you on bed rest for no reason.

Sarcasm101 · December 2015

ashhsa said:

Well Im on bed rest too... I've actually been in hospital the last 2 days- I just got home. And I really don't see why it's such a big deal to ask? Not everyone copes well with pregnancy- she obviously wants some time out before the baby- and if that is the only way to get it, there is no harm in asking... To each there own I suppose. But OP did you ask? And if so, what did the doctor say?

This is whole point of taking vacation days.

redfallon · December 2015

I'm a SAHM. I have a 2 year old. My back hurts when I do dishes or vacuum. I haven't been sleeping well due to a bad cold and congestion. I have a little over 2 weeks until my due date. Can I get on bed rest? Do you think my toddler would be able to take care of me and feed herself and me?

andplusalso, do I really need to put a /sarcasm font on this post?

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

Perhaps OP didn't really mean "bed rest". I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just wants a doctor's note excusing her from work until she has her C-section. I don't see the big deal.

SarahFoley725 · December 2015

Days? Really? All this commotion over a few days....I'm a "young" FTM with a physically demanding job that I unfortunately won't be able to return to after I have my baby. It is already difficult on me and I knew I wouldn't be able to stick it out to the end so you know what I did? I put in my notice early. I didn't call my doctor and ask her to ruin her credibility by making up a condition for me.

This is just like the FTMs who refuse to lift anything more than 15/20 pounds. Hope you're not planning on having other kids because it will be a hell of a time explaining to them why you won't hold them.

Sarcasm101 · December 2015

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Perhaps OP didn't really mean "bed rest". I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just wants a doctor's note excusing her from work until she has her C-section. I don't see the big deal.

Why should she get a doctors note excusing her from work? If she doesn't want to go to work, then see should take sick or vacation days. If she doesn't have time off, then maybe she can ask to take a day or two unpaid. She doesn't need to involve her doctor.

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Perhaps OP didn't really mean "bed rest". I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just wants a doctor's note excusing her from work until she has her C-section. I don't see the big deal.

That's what I'm hoping, too.

flowerpower5838 · December 2015

Can you ask? Yes. Should you ask? No.

You mentioned you work in a temp position and that they don't even have to give you time off and/or let you come back to work after and you're trying to lie to them with TWO DAYS LEFT?

I am aware that it is now Friday and very curious if you "toughed" it out for the rest of the week. Where are you, OP?

DrillSergeantCat · December 2015

flowerpower5838 said:

Can you ask? Yes. Should you ask? No.
You mentioned you work in a temp position and that they don't even have to give you time off and/or let you come back to work after and you're trying to lie to them with TWO DAYS LEFT?
I am aware that it is now Friday and very curious if you "toughed" it out for the rest of the week. Where are you, OP?

I looked at her stats, she has 16 discussions she's started but only 7 replies. Seems she likes to post & ghost.

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.

flowerpower5838 · December 2015

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.

I think if she asked/told her employer that she needs the rest of the week off that would be one thing, but to ask your doctor to lie and say you need to be on bed rest? Rubs people the wrong way. ESPECIALLY since said employer doesn't have to give her ANY time off for baby or keep her job for her after her leave.

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

flowerpower5838 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Why is everyone treating this like the pain Olympics?! This is one of those attack the OP threads that I just don't understand.

I think if she asked/told her employer that she needs the rest of the week off that would be one thing, but to ask your doctor to lie and say you need to be on bed rest? Rubs people the wrong way. ESPECIALLY since said employer doesn't have to give her ANY time off for baby or keep her job for her after her leave.

Maybe I've chilled out in my old age but it's not rubbing me the wrong way. I just can't get all up in arms over this thread. Like I said before, perhaps she didn't mean to use the term "bed rest" when she really just wanted some time off. Shit, I wanted time off at the end of both of my pregnancies. According to some of these posters I shouldn't have had more than one kid! ::eye roll::

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

Sarcasm101 said:

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Perhaps OP didn't really mean "bed rest". I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just wants a doctor's note excusing her from work until she has her C-section. I don't see the big deal.

Why should she get a doctors note excusing her from work? If she doesn't want to go to work, then see should take sick or vacation days. If she doesn't have time off, then maybe she can ask to take a day or two unpaid. She doesn't need to involve her doctor.

Maybe because she said she's in pain and has flu like symptoms. I don't know. She wants time off work, who gives a shit?

kynbar5 · December 2015

I think the big deal is that she only has 2 days. The whole bed rest deal is that it can be a touchy subject. Women that get out on bed rest are there for serious medical reasons, sometimes life threatening. Aches and pains are part of pregnancy and well, life to be honest. I could attempt to understand if it were a weeks or months situation but 2 days? Also with the fact that she works in a temp position that her employer is actually letting her come back to after having the baby is slightly appalling that she acted like toughing through 2 whole days was a big deal.

jtk4life · December 2015

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