December 2015 Moms

Post Partum Depression

edited December 2015 in December 2015 Moms
Hey ladies.

This is tough for me.
Colette was born November 9th, and about a week ago before her two week appointment I got extremely upset with DS over something so stupid. I ended up crying about it for at least an hour feeling like such a monster. Even though DH said I was not very harsh, I felt like I severely overreacted.
That was the first time I realized something wasn't right, but it didn't occur to me that it could be PPD. Over the past week my feelings towards myself have been really bad. Thoughts of suicide and feeling that everyone would be better off without me really filled my head.
Last night DH and I looked up information for PPD, and I have been having textbook symptoms.

Thankfully I've only been dealing with this for a week as I knew something was not right with me. I've never battled depression so this is something completely new to me. It's tough, but DH and our families are helping me to cope after consulting with my OB and PCP.

I know PPD is common, but I want to let you ladies know that we all need to keep an eye out on ourselves. This is something that can hit anyone. Please be sure to get help.
I knew my sister battled PPD, but I didn't know she went many months battling it. She was too embarrassed to get help until her DH was fed up and dragged her to the doctor.

I pray that no one experiences PPD, but know that if you do, please seek help.
My doctor has started me on medicine, but it could take a few weeks for it to take full effect and I will be seeing a psychiatrist.

I'm not embarrassed. I know these feelings are not me, but sometimes it's hard to fight the feelings.

Edited because words are hard.
Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12 
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Re: Post Partum Depression

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  • I'm sorry you are going thru this, but good for you for speaking out about it. So many people are ashamed and attempt to conceal it, which in the end cause more harm than good. I'm glad you were able to recognize right away something wasn't right. You have a strong support system and that will help tremendously. Wishing you and your family all the best!
  • I'm concerned that I'll have it too, cos I won't have anyone familiar around me as we are moving 3 hrs away from family the week after Christmas for hubby's job. It's good to be reminded that it is something that we have to consider and watch for!! Prayers for you! I hope the meds kick in quickly! <3
  • It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get yourself additional help and support. I really hope that it helps you feel like yourself again quickly.

    Thank you for posting this. It is so important for all of us to remember that it can happen to anyone at any time after birth, and that watching for the signs and being honest about needing help are the best things that we can do.
  • I had it very bad with my first and then had major breastfeeding problems along with it.  I was a mess and was put on meds.  Once the meds started working, I felt much better.  It's good that you recognize that you have it and are taking action.  It's not something to mess around with.  I know this time as soon as I start feeling off (if I do this time), I'm getting on meds right away. 
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  • It's so wonderful you noticed the symptoms quickly and sought help!! Way to go mama for standing up for yourself and doing what is best for you and your family. I hope the meds work quickly to get you back to yourself!
  • I echo what everyone else has said; thank you so much for sharing, and so glad you're on the path to recovery.
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  • This is one of my biggest fears about becoming a new mommy. I'm so glad you posted this thread. I hope things start looking up for you soon, keeping you in my thoughts
  • How brave you are to be so honest and I commend you for doing what's right for you and your family. Keep it together for a bit longer, mama. You'll find relief soon. :-)
  • Just echoing pps. Thanks for posting this and sharing your story.
  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited December 2015
    Thank you for talking about it. I am concerned about myself, not necessarily because i'm prone to depression but because i'm prone to anxiety and the two dance together sometimes. I also heard that a certain amount of misery is natural because of all the hormone changes (yup - more coming) and so sometimes moms don't realize that they're experiencing something more than that. 

    I think if you recognize it, that's an amazing amount of personal insight. Maybe it would be a good idea to start a sticky thread where women who have given birth or are feeling depressed or afraid can talk? Do we have something like that in the D15 area?
  • Thank you for talking about it. I am concerned about myself, not necessarily because i'm prone to depression but because i'm prone to anxiety and the two dance together sometimes. I also heard that a certain amount of misery is natural because of all the hormone changes (yup - more coming) and so sometimes moms don't realize that they're experiencing something more than that. 

    I think if you recognize it, that's an amazing amount of personal insight. Maybe it would be a good idea to start a sticky thread where women who have given birth or are feeling depressed or afraid can talk? Do we have something like that in the D15 area?

    I am worried for the same reason. I was on antidepressant in college for my anxiety and my family has a history of depression and anxiety. I appreciate @LauraSmarterSpam for posting this so we can all start to talk about it. I work in the mental health field so I know how important it is to talk about openly and to have support.

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  • I am feeling like I may have ppd. It will be 2 weeks on saturday since i gave birth. Breastfeeding has been super challenging for me and I am having alot of back pain. I feel like these things are keeping me from enjoying my son. I knew I'd be exhasted as a new mom but I didn't know I would feel overwhelmed, feel guilty, and was expecting the bfing issues and back pain. I have a follow up with my midwife monday with my husband so I will be open.
  • ACarter0914ACarter0914 member
    edited December 2015
    That's the biggest thing is to be open @Taylovesbrad I suffered with PPD with my first and I think a lot of it stemmed from not being successful with breastfeeding. I use to dread feeding my daughter because it hurt so bad to the point where I started to almost resent her and that's when I knew I needed help. DO NOT feel guilty if breastfeeding doesn't work out. Formula has come so far in the last ten years it's amazing and if you haven't talked to a lactaion consult yet maybe that should be your next step? If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me!!
  • Good for you! Hugs. I'm sure it will get better quick. So important to recognize these changes and not be too embarrassed to say something. So proud of you for posting.
  • I feel as if I may have PPD as well. DD is a week and 2 days. Post birth I would randomly cry and not know why. Today it's really hitting and I can't control my emotions, this isn't me. We went to my in laws to watch the football game and I was just a mess the whole time. I asked my husband if we could leave and we did..but now he's angry thinking I'm just being a baby and secluded himself in another room. So here I am still crying and having to take care of my newborn by myself. My mom is coming in the morning to help and I'll be calling my doctor in the morning. :/
  • From someone who use to suffer from major depression. PPD was something I really worried about. So before I was discharged I asked for a prescription for Cymbalta. It's the only medicine that helped me. I plan on asking again after I have the baby this Wednesday. Depression isn't anything to be embarrassed about. Heck, you don't even have to share that you suffer from it to anyone other than your spouse and doctor. Take each day one day at a time, try to rest when you can, and when times get hard know in time it'll work out. Definitely take advantage of any help from family and friends. Don't be ashamed if you need medicine to help either. Our bodies and hormones are all out of wack and it just needs a little help.
  • ammnam14 said:

    I feel as if I may have PPD as well. DD is a week and 2 days. Post birth I would randomly cry and not know why. Today it's really hitting and I can't control my emotions, this isn't me. We went to my in laws to watch the football game and I was just a mess the whole time. I asked my husband if we could leave and we did..but now he's angry thinking I'm just being a baby and secluded himself in another room. So here I am still crying and having to take care of my newborn by myself. My mom is coming in the morning to help and I'll be calling my doctor in the morning. :/

    @ammnam14 definitely sit down with DH and look over the symptoms of PPD so he can understand better. DH and I were both upset with me until we realized what was going on. I'm so glad you'll be contacting your doctor. Hopefully your DH can go with you to an appt.

    Sorry I've been pretty absent lately. My PPD is getting better, but as some ladies know my dad had been in a rehabilitation facility/nursing home to try and work on his occupational and physical therapy. He fell out of his bed one night and had to have surgery on his hip. Since then he went downhill and he passed away a week before Christmas. It's been really hard and I've been occupied with DS, DD and my mom.

    I do check in every now and then, but not as often as before. I hope everyone is doing well.
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  • @LauraSmarterSpam so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine your pain right now. Thoughts & prayers to you and your family.
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  • I'm very sorry to hear @LauraSmarterSpam . Take care of yourself. <3
  • Thank you so much for your prayers.
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  • Thank you so much for your prayers.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited December 2015

    I am feeling like I may have ppd. It will be 2 weeks on saturday since i gave birth. Breastfeeding has been super challenging for me and I am having alot of back pain. I feel like these things are keeping me from enjoying my son. I knew I'd be exhasted as a new mom but I didn't know I would feel overwhelmed, feel guilty, and was expecting the bfing issues and back pain. I have a follow up with my midwife monday with my husband so I will be open.

    This makes me feel better. I have had anxiety and while I don't think I'm depressed I do think I have periods of it. Mostly in the evening. I have had overwhelming worries about raising my child and feel like my own bf challenges and other obstacles (I have had mastitis and it sucks. Also pushed myself too hard and got physically overwhelmed) made bonding difficult. I could have written your post. I was ashamed to talk about it. Who has trouble bonding with their child?? I loved her to a terrifying degree. But had trouble with that free easy new mum feeling I felt I should be getting. And I've had a ton of help around the house too.. I felt very guilty which just added to it. Hearing somebody else talking like I have been feeling is such a relief. Things are getting better now (and they do!) but for awhile there things were harder than I wanted to admit.
  • Hello, I was just looking around and went across this thread. I was diagnosed to have severe depression 4 years ago and tried almost everything out there that "could" help. The only medication that worked best for me is medical cannabis. I perfectly understand that it's not legal everywhere. At first, I was doubtful so I started doing my own research and read articles about marijuana. I found out that each marijuana strain has different uses for different diseases. Like this strain https://blimburnseeds.com/cannabis/original/feminized/santa-muerte This one is very effective when it comes to stress and anxiety. Just sharing, have a nice day to all.
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