Something I don't hear anyone really mention is the feeling of absolute exhaustion after a feeding. I feel like I took a sleeping pill every time she feeds, I don't know if anyone else feels like that but I looked it up and apparently it's because of a hormone that gets released. As a nurse, I know the medical benefits, and I've heard all the spiels about the practical benefits ... but honestly I think more moms would breastfeed successfully if the million and one breastfeeding pamphlets they shove down your throat during pregnancy actually helped prepare you for the realities of it. It's exhausting, it's hard, and for me at least it comes with a constant paranoia that I'm not feeding often enough, that she's not getting full, that I'm not producing enough, etc.
I'm not looking for troubleshooting, I'm just whining. It gets weird spending so much time at home, just stewing in my own thoughts. Not healthy, I know, it's made me a more negative person and I'm trying to work through it.
Though it does give me an idea. I'm working on finishing my RN now, and my end goal is to be a nurse midwife. I am going to make sure that along with the usual education of all the benefits, I'm also going to focus on preparing mothers that want to try to breastfeed for what it's going to be like. I don't want to scare anyone off it, but I will address the importance of having a support system, sleeping whenever possible, and developing coping skills to combat the fears, exhaustion, and stress. Do you gals have any tidbits of information not normally found in the standard literature that you wish someone had told you? Or even something you were told that you wish had been emphasized more - or less? I'm hoping my experience as a mother will make me a more effective and helpful midwife, but I know everyone's experience isn't the same so I am very interested in hearing what everyone else has to say!
When people warned me about breastfeeding, they mainly made it sound like it would be hard because it was painful. They didn't prepared me for what could happen if I actually did have an issue. LO nearly had to be hospitalized for dehydration at 6 days old because my milk didn't come in for 10 days. I was so distraught that I couldn't trust myself to nurse after that.
So I have a problem. Once I found out that I was pregnant I knew right away that I was going to breast feed. My husband was not totally on board with it. One reason is that whenever my sister talked about breastfeeding her baby she always said the baby cluster feed all the time. What he was doing was using her as a pacifier, cause she would nurse for 5 min here and there. Also the fact that she breastfed her first til she was over 2 yes old. so by the time our daughter was born (4 weeks early), I was slowly getting him adjusted to what to expect. So when I came out to the recovery room and they latched her onto me, his face looked like I betrayed him. You could see that he was dying to get out of there. Infact the whole time I was in the Hosptial he would trip over the furniture to get out of the room before I would nurse. He missed most of the stuff going on in the Hosptial cause he would leave the area. Now that we are home he still had to leave the room. I was told to mostly feed her on demand and not to let her go past 3 hour mark because she is a preemie. NOW he is getting on me because I feed her before the three hour mark. I've told him that it's a supply and demand and I need to nurse in order to get my supply up. He then tells me to just pump instead. He's all of a sudden becoming controlling and accusing me of pacifying her with my breast. I told him he's being a bit controlling and he accuses me on going back on my word of not allowing her to pacifying me. I never expected him to be like this. Has anyone else had this issue?
So I have a problem. Once I found out that I was pregnant I knew right away that I was going to breast feed. My husband was not totally on board with it. One reason is that whenever my sister talked about breastfeeding her baby she always said the baby cluster feed all the time. What he was doing was using her as a pacifier, cause she would nurse for 5 min here and there. Also the fact that she breastfed her first til she was over 2 yes old. so by the time our daughter was born (4 weeks early), I was slowly getting him adjusted to what to expect. So when I came out to the recovery room and they latched her onto me, his face looked like I betrayed him. You could see that he was dying to get out of there. Infact the whole time I was in the Hosptial he would trip over the furniture to get out of the room before I would nurse. He missed most of the stuff going on in the Hosptial cause he would leave the area. Now that we are home he still had to leave the room. I was told to mostly feed her on demand and not to let her go past 3 hour mark because she is a preemie. NOW he is getting on me because I feed her before the three hour mark. I've told him that it's a supply and demand and I need to nurse in order to get my supply up. He then tells me to just pump instead. He's all of a sudden becoming controlling and accusing me of pacifying her with my breast. I told him he's being a bit controlling and he accuses me on going back on my word of not allowing her to pacifying me. I never expected him to be like this. Has anyone else had this issue?
This disturbs me - he should not be treating you like that. It's hard enough to breastfeed and recover with support, with him actively fighting you I couldn't imagine the stress. I have heard of babies using mom as a pacifier, and though I didn't see anything horribly wrong with it I too wanted to avoid that - mostly because she spends enough time at the breast as it is. I curbed this by breaking the latch and taking her off the breast if she stopped sucking for more than just a breather (they do need breaks sometimes) I would return her to the breast in a few minutes, but I just wanted her to get used to 'getting down to business' while at the breast. You absolutely should wait to feed her every three hours - occasional cluster feedings are natural and will happen when she has growth spurts and sometimes just when she's hungry, and you are absolutely right that your body needs the 'demand' in order to start the supply. I would tell him to do some research and maybe if he knew more about how it worked and the benefits he could get on board with it? Otherwise, I'd tell him to see a counselor or a psychologist ... it seems like he's terrified of breastfeeding and maybe there is some issue he's not addressing? Good luck, I really hope things work out well for you and baby.
I'm really struggling with the idea of introducing a bottle. I primarily want to just to make feeding when we are out easier. I still can't get LO to latch, he's 3 weeks today. The last couple days/nights he's been fussy so I haven't tried much without the shield. I feel guilty like I'm giving up. I'd still feed breast milk. I know giving a bottle won't really hurt my situation, but it won't help him latch to me. I'm ok using the shield at home it's just so awkward and inconvenient in public. I finally got a nursing cover up I'm going to practice with instead of just a blanket to see if that makes it a little easier. Ugh, I feel so torn and like I'm failing.
My advice is to keep practicing. Google good latching techniques and maybe get in touch with a lactation consultant. Sometimes a little tweak makes all the difference.
Also, try feeding your baby before he gets super fussy or starts screaming. Line your nipple with his nose and once he opens real wide bring him to you. It also helps to make your breast into a pancake to help him get latched on. We weaned off the nipple shield and this is what worked for us. It took us a solid 8-9 DAYS to get it. We're on the other side and no it's like second nature to us both.
I'm really struggling with the idea of introducing a bottle. I primarily want to just to make feeding when we are out easier. I still can't get LO to latch, he's 3 weeks today. The last couple days/nights he's been fussy so I haven't tried much without the shield. I feel guilty like I'm giving up. I'd still feed breast milk. I know giving a bottle won't really hurt my situation, but it won't help him latch to me. I'm ok using the shield at home it's just so awkward and inconvenient in public. I finally got a nursing cover up I'm going to practice with instead of just a blanket to see if that makes it a little easier. Ugh, I feel so torn and like I'm failing.
My advice is to keep practicing. Google good latching techniques and maybe get in touch with a lactation consultant. Sometimes a little tweak makes all the difference.
Also, try feeding your baby before he gets super fussy or starts screaming. Line your nipple with his nose and once he opens real wide bring him to you. It also helps to make your breast into a pancake to help him get latched on. We weaned off the nipple shield and this is what worked for us. It took us a solid 8-9 DAYS to get it. We're on the other side and no it's like second nature to us both.
ETA: I hope this helps!
I've gone to a consultant and she said everything I'm doing is right, he just won't latch. He starts to then just gives up and now all he will do is give me a bitter face and close his mouth without trying. It's so frustrating! I express milk and that doesn't work, I feel like he gets more up his nose. I get anxiety about going places knowing it's going to be an awkward struggle if I can't find a super private place to nurse. I talk myself out of going places alone unless I know I can be home in 2 hours. Yet, I still feel bad about doing a bottle for such occasions.
Let me also add that each nursing experience is unique. What works for one mom and baby doesn't work for all and you and your LO will have to learn what works for you. Connect with women who have had success with breastfeeding for support and for suggestions, but don't take everything they say as one-size fits all.
This. So. Much! Attend LLL meetings. If one LC can't help find another. There are a bunch of great online sources:LLL website, kellymom.com, Dr. Jack Newman's website (had videos and an email link that you can submit issues to and somebody from the clinic will help free of charge). If you're having issues there is usually a simple solution.
My baby had a really good latch right away but it's gotten shallower and lazier. I unlatch him but he doesn't open wide anymore. I keep hearing "wait til they open wide Iike a yawn" but what if they don't do that? I feel like my supply has finally increased but now my boobs are huge and overwhelming to him, and he ends up mostly just on the nipple. And if I'm not holding his head in place, in a few minutes he's really just on the nipple and falling off. I do make my breast into a sandwich shape but that doesn't seem to help.
@Louisl do you hold your breast the whole time? I kind of shove extra breast tissue in and then readjust as needed. I know it's not practical for every feed but try side lying. For some reason it helps my lo latch better. His sisters were the same.
I'm really struggling with the idea of introducing a bottle. I primarily want to just to make feeding when we are out easier. I still can't get LO to latch, he's 3 weeks today. The last couple days/nights he's been fussy so I haven't tried much without the shield. I feel guilty like I'm giving up. I'd still feed breast milk. I know giving a bottle won't really hurt my situation, but it won't help him latch to me. I'm ok using the shield at home it's just so awkward and inconvenient in public. I finally got a nursing cover up I'm going to practice with instead of just a blanket to see if that makes it a little easier. Ugh, I feel so torn and like I'm failing.
My advice is to keep practicing. Google good latching techniques and maybe get in touch with a lactation consultant. Sometimes a little tweak makes all the difference.
Also, try feeding your baby before he gets super fussy or starts screaming. Line your nipple with his nose and once he opens real wide bring him to you. It also helps to make your breast into a pancake to help him get latched on. We weaned off the nipple shield and this is what worked for us. It took us a solid 8-9 DAYS to get it. We're on the other side and no it's like second nature to us both.
ETA: I hope this helps!
I've gone to a consultant and she said everything I'm doing is right, he just won't latch. He starts to then just gives up and now all he will do is give me a bitter face and close his mouth without trying. It's so frustrating! I express milk and that doesn't work, I feel like he gets more up his nose. I get anxiety about going places knowing it's going to be an awkward struggle if I can't find a super private place to nurse. I talk myself out of going places alone unless I know I can be home in 2 hours. Yet, I still feel bad about doing a bottle for such occasions.
Cut yourself some slack and try a bottle. The important thing is the milk. I know the method isn't ideal, but like I said, keep practicing. It'll work itself out
DS is two weeks today, and currently we are exclusively pumping and bottle feeding.
DS latched once, with the help of the lactation consultant, but never since. He's lazy. He won't open his mouth wide enough, and just doesn't even try. I hoped it would get better once my milk came in, but now I can't even get him to try.
I purchased a shield, thinking the otexture would remind him of a bottle, but I haven't given it a try yet.
Anyone have any luck getting their LO to latch eventually? I EBF DD for 16 months, she would never take a bottle. I don't relish the thought of exclusively pumping for a year, but will if I have to.
@komorebi that's good to know, I was hesitant to hold my boob too long because I thought I had read something about it interfering with let down, but my instinct was to do exactly that - kind of shove in more boob as needed. We're side lying through the night and you're right it is easier that way!
Cluster feeding has taken over. I feel like DD cluster feeds non stop all day and all night. I can't get her to sleep by herself or even put her down. She will sleep for 10-15 minute spurts but then is right back up crying for the boob. At night we have to side nurse so I can get some sleep too. I'm always afraid she won't unlatch herself and just continue to feed for a long time. I'm also afraid of developing a sleeping habit of her having to sleep next to me every night. Has anybody been thru this stage or is going thru it now? How did you get thru it or did you?
We've been dealing with it for days. It's exhausting but it will slowly get better. We had a four hour stretch last night but only when him sleeping in our bed. He wasn't touching either of us just in between. I think he likes the softness of our bed. Once he starts a sleep routine I'll be pushing for him to sleep in his pack and play in our room more but for now I'll try until I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open and then I'll just bring him into bed and side feed too.
DS is two weeks today, and currently we are exclusively pumping and bottle feeding.
DS latched once, with the help of the lactation consultant, but never since. He's lazy. He won't open his mouth wide enough, and just doesn't even try. I hoped it would get better once my milk came in, but now I can't even get him to try.
I purchased a shield, thinking the otexture would remind him of a bottle, but I haven't given it a try yet.
Anyone have any luck getting their LO to latch eventually? I EBF DD for 16 months, she would never take a bottle. I don't relish the thought of exclusively pumping for a year, but will if I have to.
I had a similar problem and he eventually just started latching on his own around 3 weeks. Maybe try again when he's a little older?
Cluster feeding has taken over. I feel like DD cluster feeds non stop all day and all night. I can't get her to sleep by herself or even put her down. She will sleep for 10-15 minute spurts but then is right back up crying for the boob. At night we have to side nurse so I can get some sleep too. I'm always afraid she won't unlatch herself and just continue to feed for a long time. I'm also afraid of developing a sleeping habit of her having to sleep next to me every night. Has anybody been thru this stage or is going thru it now? How did you get thru it or did you?
I went through that phase with both of my DDs and suspect this LO will go through it as well. I side nurse at night and did with my older kids and it didn't create an issue with either. They would fall asleep while nursing and they unlatched themselves, and even if it was after a while, they weren't eating the whole time, just comfort sucking. As they got a little older, I could easily transfer them to our co-sleeper beside the bed, and by 5-6 mos, they started sleeping in their own cribs in a separate room without issue. Both of my girls are great sleepers now who sleep 10-12 hours a night, plus 2-3 hours during the day (I have 3 under 3).
I plan to do roughly the same with this LO, unless I see an issue arise.
Cluster feeding has taken over. I feel like DD cluster feeds non stop all day and all night. I can't get her to sleep by herself or even put her down. She will sleep for 10-15 minute spurts but then is right back up crying for the boob. At night we have to side nurse so I can get some sleep too. I'm always afraid she won't unlatch herself and just continue to feed for a long time. I'm also afraid of developing a sleeping habit of her having to sleep next to me every night. Has anybody been thru this stage or is going thru it now? How did you get thru it or did you?
Those night feeds will keep you producing milk for her. This early you don't have to worry so much about how you get by. As she gets older you can adjust habits. Cosleeping and nursing through the night get me more sleep and that's all i care about right now.
HE LATCHED!!!! After nearly two weeks of really trying (lo is 1 month now) he finally latched today without the shield. 3 times and for at least 15 minutes each time. It took some coaxing to get him latched on but he's doing it so we will keep practicing. Who knew it would be so exciting Lol.
Re: Breastfeeding Advice/Problem Thread
When people warned me about breastfeeding, they mainly made it sound like it would be hard because it was painful. They didn't prepared me for what could happen if I actually did have an issue. LO nearly had to be hospitalized for dehydration at 6 days old because my milk didn't come in for 10 days. I was so distraught that I couldn't trust myself to nurse after that.
Also, try feeding your baby before he gets super fussy or starts screaming. Line your nipple with his nose and once he opens real wide bring him to you. It also helps to make your breast into a pancake to help him get latched on. We weaned off the nipple shield and this is what worked for us. It took us a solid 8-9 DAYS to get it. We're on the other side and no it's like second nature to us both.
ETA: I hope this helps!
DS latched once, with the help of the lactation consultant, but never since. He's lazy. He won't open his mouth wide enough, and just doesn't even try. I hoped it would get better once my milk came in, but now I can't even get him to try.
I purchased a shield, thinking the otexture would remind him of a bottle, but I haven't given it a try yet.
Anyone have any luck getting their LO to latch eventually? I EBF DD for 16 months, she would never take a bottle. I don't relish the thought of exclusively pumping for a year, but will if I have to.
I plan to do roughly the same with this LO, unless I see an issue arise.