Ladies support each other!!

jacobsone2 · November 2015

Hello ladies!

I have been reading through some of these posts and have noticed that there are some really rude, nasty responses. If you don't like the question, please keep it moving. Simply don't answer. Don't make someone feel like their questions are stupid. There aren't any stupid questions. Who cares if the question was already posted? I am also on the pregnancy loss/miscarriage boards and I don't see it on those boards. We are all here for the same reason and we are all going through the same things. Pregnancy is scary and sometimes we all just need some support and reassurance. Please ladies support each other!!!!

suchaglencoco · November 2015

jacobsone2 said:
Hello ladies!

I have been reading through some of these posts and have noticed that there are some really rude, nasty responses. If you don't like the question, please keep it moving. Simply don't answer. Don't make someone feel like their questions are stupid. There aren't any stupid questions. Who cares if the question was already posted? I am also on the pregnancy loss/miscarriage boards and I don't see it on those boards. We are all here for the same reason and we are all going through the same things. Pregnancy is scary and sometimes we all just need some support and reassurance. Please ladies support each other!!!!

I'm sorry, but this post will definitely stir the pot. This is not a support group. Also, it's in the TOU for people to use the search function to avoid multiple posts that ask the same question. Now, with that being said....

jacobsone2 · November 2015

I'm not trying to stir any pot. That's definitely not what the post was for. People post here to find answers to their questions from people who have been in similar situations. It's just better not to answer a post if you can't be nice about it.

SparkySunshine · November 2015

So because I have an answer you don't like, I shouldn't say anything? Um, nope

jacobsone2 · November 2015

No of course not. My post is not about difference of opinion. It's more about communicating your opinions with tact. I don't expect everyone to have the same opinions. How boring would that be?

soxfan9968 · November 2015

If you don't want to stir the pot, don't tell people how they should respond or to ignore TOU.

jesikamh · November 2015

I really like your post. Manners don't cost anything. I'm having a really hard pregnancy and a bit of understanding and tlc can go a long way to make someone feel better. Well said x

ecwk · November 2015

jacobsone2 said:
Hello ladies!

I have been reading through some of these posts and have noticed that there are some really rude, nasty responses. If you don't like the question, please keep it moving. Simply don't answer. Don't make someone feel like their questions are stupid. There aren't any stupid questions. Who cares if the question was already posted? I am also on the pregnancy loss/miscarriage boards and I don't see it on those boards. We are all here for the same reason and we are all going through the same things. Pregnancy is scary and sometimes we all just need some support and reassurance. Please ladies support each other!!!!

I'm getting good mileage out of this gif this week:

Please don't dictate how anyone responds. This is most definitely a shit stirring thread. Disagreement =\= rudeness. I assume you've also been reading through the thousands of threads where the women here are incredibly supportive and helpful?? How come you didn't create a post to thank everyone for that??

tripledaggerWed95976 · November 2015

Thanks mom, I'll go sit in my time out chair now.

bbiutmcph · November 2015

The thing people fail to understand is that this is a community not Google. If you post regularly form relationships especially on a BMB you will gain friendships and get support and support each other truly. Randomly posting once and expecting an outcry of strangers support is no different than walking into a group of people in a park and demanding support. Posting a question that has been asked 15 times on the board in the last two days isn't going to get thoughtful answers either as its been answered. Many people here have been members a long time build relationships and truly been supportive in many aspects of each other's lives whether it's pregnancy, spouse or relationship, kids, work etc. you also need to provide support to get it. Drive by posts demanding support and answers are common yet that OP hasn't provided the same. Online forums are just like real relationships you have to give to receive. Posts like this telling people what you should or shouldn't do only make a stirring the pot discussion. Also the bump has snark so if it's not in your nature to deal or laugh at snark you may not like it. That being said I've had friendships IRL from the bump for over 7 years, have FB friends and have attended a meet up so I think it's a very supportive community once you actually join it.

goldie987 · November 2015

If people didnt respond at all to the threads, then they wouldn't have any answers and people would get grumpy that no one was supporting them or answering them. When you join TB, you have a 3 day no-post period to get to know the board before posting and read the guidelines etc. It isn't our fault when someone comes in 3 days after joining and posts something that got a negative response 5 threads down, or a question that had literally been asked 80 bajillion times (are cramps normal??).

In the end, its rude to those on the board who are expected to answer the same questions over and over. We are not a personal Google. We are not an instant "tell me my baby's gender based on this completely debunked method" factory. Learn the boards before you post. Clearly you neglected to do this as well since a few of these posts show up a month and always get the same response.

AdorkablePixie · November 2015

bbiutmcph said:

The thing people fail to understand is that this is a community not Google. If you post regularly form relationships especially on a BMB you will gain friendships and get support and support each other truly. Randomly posting once and expecting an outcry of strangers support is no different than walking into a group of people in a park and demanding support. Posting a question that has been asked 15 times on the board in the last two days isn't going to get thoughtful answers either as its been answered. Many people here have been members a long time build relationships and truly been supportive in many aspects of each other's lives whether it's pregnancy, spouse or relationship, kids, work etc. you also need to provide support to get it. Drive by posts demanding support and answers are common yet that OP hasn't provided the same. Online forums are just like real relationships you have to give to receive. Posts like this telling people what you should or shouldn't do only make a stirring the pot discussion. Also the bump has snark so if it's not in your nature to deal or laugh at snark you may not like it. That being said I've had friendships IRL from the bump for over 7 years, have FB friends and have attended a meet up so I think it's a very supportive community once you actually join it.

^^ THIS!

I am usually supportive, but when someone posts a thread about how they had cramps and sore boobs and thought they were pregnant, then got a period, but still think they are pregnant and come on here to ask what we think... THAT drives me nuts. Or when people post pictures of their pregnancy tests, it's either positive or it's not, please don't post those. Most people don't want to see that.

Also, I have noticed that the boards for people who have had losses or trouble getting pregnant, are much more accepting of all types of posts. I have infertility issues, so I am also on the Pregnant after IF boards.

All in all, if you don't want a snarky response, don't ask a silly question that can be found through search, or something you can ask your doctor about. Most of us aren't doctors.

jerseygirl9090 · November 2015

I really like this post and agree 100% there's no reason for nasty rude responses. Well said jacobsone2!

mrs-o · November 2015

Thank you! All the nastiness here makes me cringe. I think some of these people get off on being rude. If you don't like the question, continue on to the next!

kynbar5 · November 2015

This isn't a support group. It's an online forum. There are quite a few very supportive posts here, actually, there are more helpful responses than "rude" or "snarky" ones. You can't honestly expect women to answer the same question 15 times a day when there is a search function made specifically to look at responses to a question that's already been asked. Legitimate questions are always welcomed here. It's the "how will my baby pee?", "are cramps normal?", "am I pregnant?", "should I throw my own shower for my 9th pregnancy", "what is this white object that came out of my vagina?" and "is my poop normal?" threads that are generally frowned upon. Women here are also straight forward and aren't going to sugar-coat things, which imho is a good thing. You can't tell a bunch of women on the internet how to respond. Maybe instead of telling people how and when to respond, you just skip over the comments you don't like or agree with. It's called being an adult. You're not always going to like what you hear but are you going to pop your head into every conversation you disagree with and tell people they're wrong? I doubt it. Have a great day!

jerseygirl9090 · November 2015

Or the person who is responding can "skip over" the posts they are tired of reading and responding to

tripledaggerWed95976 · November 2015

saraaacarpenter said:

Thank you! All the nastiness here makes me cringe. I think some of these people get off on being rude. If you don't like the question, continue on to the next!

>

kimberlydonnelly90 said:

I really like this post and agree 100% there's no reason for nasty rude responses. Well said jacobsone2!

Thanks to the two new people who have contributed ZERO to this community. Maybe start contributing BEFORE you come in and bash us. Yuck. @kimberlydonnelly90 . @saraaacarpenter <IMg src=https://i1270.photobucket.com/albums/jj620/johannyboy/tumblr_l8pfex69iZ1qb1ipfo1_500.gif

kynbar5 · November 2015

I'm seeing that is going to be quite childish.

kimberlydonnelly90 said:
Or the person who is responding can "skip over" the posts they are tired of reading and responding to

This works both ways. Let's all attempt to be grown ups here. Maybe start practicing parenting skills that you plan on using with your children?

jacobsone2 · November 2015

Thank you ladies. You get what the post is about

I wish you all a happy, healthy pregnancy!!

kyraaD · November 2015

making a post asking everyone to be nice is stirring the pot. the only posts that get any kind of snark or "rudeness" are ones that involve asking everyone what their baby's sex is, or "is my pregnancy test positive??".
I'm a FTM, & I've managed to figure out A LOT on my own simply from taking the time to actually read through this forum, or going to Google/my OB & asking.
like the ladies have stated above, this isn't a support group where everything is unicorns & rainbows, trust me! I've gotten replies that i didn't particularly like, but you shrug it off & move on. it's no different than in the real world.

mrs-o · November 2015

It's scary to start posting when you've been lurking so long and seen so many negative posts! I was hoping I would leave the negative energy that I saw in the Trying to Conceive board when I moved over here. We should all be happy and supportive. I understand some people haven't lurked long enough or read your rules. Maybe they didn't take the time to search for their answer. If you are annoyed with the question, I just have a hard time understanding why it wouldn't be easier to roll your eyes and move on.

soxfan9968 · November 2015

saraaacarpenter said:
I just have a hard time understanding why it wouldn't be easier to roll your eyes and move on.

This has been answers already!! READ!

bumptara · November 2015

Hi all,

Maintaining a welcoming environment in the community is something we take very seriously. We welcome debate and engaging dialogue from all perspectives here. We do not tolerate bullying. If you feel you’ve experienced bullying within the community,

Please:
-Flag comments that violate our TOU by using the “Report a TOU Violation” feature below posts
-Send a Private Message to @BumpTara or @BumpCaitlin describing your concerns or send an email to communitybump@xogrp.com and include links to any threads that you are concerned about so we can properly investigate.

Please do not:
-Post on the boards about your grievances with the community or individual members. Doing so tends to result in unproductive arguments among members and escalates situations.

By flagging posts that violate the TOU and sharing your concerns directly with our moderators, we are able to address issues promptly and properly.

We will be closing this thread for further comments. Thank you.

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