@imrachellea Totally justified. My cousin and I were five weeks apart. They were team green and we knew we were having a girl. She and her mom kept asking if we had a baby name picked out. Even though we did, I said we were waiting until she was born. I ended up going 9 days late and she ended up going early and the babies were born 36 hours apart. They ended up having a boy. A few months later my cousin told me that had the baby been a girl they would have also named her Natalie didn't matter that we had picked the name. I was strangely enraged for a few days afterwards.
@imrachellea, I would be totally upset too! Not at the friend, obviously, just at the situation. Did you guys end up agreeing on anything you can keep as a backup?
We haven't 100% decided on the name, because when she's born she may not look like an Eliza. But we also had some family associations with it, as his sister is named Elizabeth and we liked that DD2 could partially be named for her. Or there is always a chance we'll come across another name in the next 5ish months too. The likelihood is we would go with that name, but I just don't know if we'll be able to if she names one of her girls that! And I've been calling her that in my head, to see how I like it, patting my stomach sometimes saying "hey there little Ellie". It is just so upsetting that we would both land on the same name, after having such differing opinions, and this name never having come up for either of us before. I don't know when DH got the name when he suggested it, no clue where they got it either because it isn't exactly widely popular (nor unpopular). I don't know what I'll do if she goes with that name. She did mention it last of the three and the other two names she has she included potential nicknames, so I'm HOPING she's leaning towards the first two?? But I don't know if I'll know until her's are born and I don't want to be in limbo on whether I need a backup. And I don't want my daughters name to be a BACKUP! Omg good thing I'm typing this because if I was hearing it out loud I'd slap mySELF for how whiny I sound! :-P
@AEG84 and @Ready4theParty Thank you for helping me at least validate my feelings, even if they are irrational lol.
I'll add...I'm kind of annoyed, she already gets to pick TWO names, I only get to pick ONE, can't I have THAT one, especially since you have two other choices??
On the topic of teething...can I BFM about my DD's LACK of teeth? I mean, come on, she turns 2 in a month and is working on tooth number 8. EIGHT! What the heck is that?? She didn't get any teeth until she was 16 month old, and every tooth that comes in takes its dear sweet time. She has her two bottom teeth, ONE top tooth, ALL her two year molars (I mean come on, WTH?!) and the 8th tooth making its way is another bottom one. Is it too much to want my kid to be able to eat a friggin' apple?
Yes. Yes you can. DD (17 mo) is currently working on #7 and so far just has 6 incisors - top two and bottom four. I think we're finally getting a molar, so I'm hoping she'll someday be able to actually chew food instead of having to nibble.
Ok so it's not really a BF but I know I can vent here and be understood. No one else is pregnant around me so I don't really have anyone to confide in. I've been under a lot of pressure at work for an upcoming promotion that my immediate bosses above me are literally texting me everyday about it adding to the stress. I have worked over 56 hours this past week and am expecting to work even more this week. My entire body feels like it's breaking.
I haven't spoken to my mother since 4 months ago when I broke the news I was expecting. She didn't take it well, and it's terrible not having her as someone I can go to in moments like these. Her birthday is on the 19th of this month and it breaks my heart we are not on good terms. My family doesn't approve of my DH so that adds to my stress of future baby plans. The 19th is also a day my store will be receiving a visit from a corporate office regarding my promotion. If I fail this visit, then my boss isn't promoted and I hate letting people down.
I'm terrified of having sex disappointment if I have a girl. I feel totally dumb for even saying it, but when I say I've always wanted a boy first, I mean I've always wanted a boy first. Even when I was a teen I said I wanted my first to be a boy. My cousin just put me in a group chat of our family and she just found out she's having a boy. And everyone's so excited blah blah boy this boy that. And I'm happy for her, I am. But I can't help but feel a twinge of anxiety at not knowing what I'm having-- again feel even more dumb because i should care about the health of my babe first and foremost, which don't get me wrong, I totally do. I just still can't shake wanting to know the sex.
My papa is in the hospital from coming back a month in the PI and it terrifies me because he is 80 and susceptible to a lot of health issues. Honestly this post is scrambled everywhere. I'm currently sitting on the floor of my work bathroom in a stall crying trying to hide my panic attack, thinking about everything and I just can't get my mind to calm down.
@AEG84 and @Ready4theParty Thank you for helping me at least validate my feelings, even if they are irrational lol.
I'll add...I'm kind of annoyed, she already gets to pick TWO names, I only get to pick ONE, can't I have THAT one, especially since you have two other choices??
When we were trying, my good friends had a baby girl.. And the week before she was born, they told us they were between two names- one of those being the name i'd chosen for a girl (a family name). I freaked for weeks Before the baby was born and they used the other name. Whew! So I get how you're feeling. You've warned her, so I wouldn't worry too much! Maybe she'll use Liz.. And you can use Ellie!
@kalanieileen - Sounds like you have good reason to feel overwhelmed and upset. Sending internet hugs and virtual kleenex if you want them.
And don't feel dumb for caring so much about the sex; of course you want to know what your family is going to look like with him or her in it! Even feeling disappointed if things don't turned out how you envisioned is totally normal. I have no doubt that you'll love your little nugget just as much regardless of whether he's a he or she's a she, and in the end, that counts for WAY more than your initial reaction to the news is wholly positive.
I'm overwhelmed and beyond frustrated today. This morning the DH and I attended a service meeting at the restaurant. We've been closed since the beginning of September and will *finally* be re-opening this Friday. There was no need for me to be at this meeting. I've been up since 5 am. I was told I won't even be allowed to work until after I give birth. I didn't even get a uniform shirt. I've been waiting around and being hopeful for the last two and a half months-- for absolutely nothing. On top of that, the boss fell through on a lot of promises we were banking on in order to be able to afford basic needs-- and our baby. There's just a lot of bullcrap overall involving this job, and I'm so, SO mad.
@kalanieileen I can't even imagine not having my mom right now! My best friend had her LO back in August and she has huge issues with her mother smoking around her and baby... they had a bit of a falling out because of hurt feelings and it was a complete mess - my friend eventually realized that there will probably never be any real resolution to their issue, but it wasn't worth losing the relationship. She started small, kept it short (to avoid smoke breaks) and they are growing again... Obviously different situation, but start small... send your mom some flowers and a card for her birthday - maybe just from you, or maybe from "The Family"... must be so tough with everything else going on.
Good luck on the promotion - stress right now is extra ... ummm stressful?? Sucky I guess... but be yourself and do your best, easier said than done, I know...
Finally, thoughts and prayers to your grandpa... sounds like you generally have a lot on your plate right now!
The real thing I can relate to what you said is the sex disappointment... I've ALWAYS wanted a boy... DH and I EXCLUSIVELY wanted boys... and we are having a girl... at first I cried... and then I was crying because I was mad that I cried... and then I just cried... The. Whole. Way. Home. And now I'm crying because I'm writing about how I was crying... yay... But I'm getting more and more excited about planning, and I know she will be loved... even if you do find out you are having a girl... it legit might be hard at first, but it gets better with time.
Ok so it's not really a BF but I know I can vent here and be understood. No one else is pregnant around me so I don't really have anyone to confide in. I've been under a lot of pressure at work for an upcoming promotion that my immediate bosses above me are literally texting me everyday about it adding to the stress. I have worked over 56 hours this past week and am expecting to work even more this week. My entire body feels like it's breaking.
I haven't spoken to my mother since 4 months ago when I broke the news I was expecting. She didn't take it well, and it's terrible not having her as someone I can go to in moments like these. Her birthday is on the 19th of this month and it breaks my heart we are not on good terms. My family doesn't approve of my DH so that adds to my stress of future baby plans. The 19th is also a day my store will be receiving a visit from a corporate office regarding my promotion. If I fail this visit, then my boss isn't promoted and I hate letting people down.
I'm terrified of having sex disappointment if I have a girl. I feel totally dumb for even saying it, but when I say I've always wanted a boy first, I mean I've always wanted a boy first. Even when I was a teen I said I wanted my first to be a boy. My cousin just put me in a group chat of our family and she just found out she's having a boy. And everyone's so excited blah blah boy this boy that. And I'm happy for her, I am. But I can't help but feel a twinge of anxiety at not knowing what I'm having-- again feel even more dumb because i should care about the health of my babe first and foremost, which don't get me wrong, I totally do. I just still can't shake wanting to know the sex.
My papa is in the hospital from coming back a month in the PI and it terrifies me because he is 80 and susceptible to a lot of health issues. Honestly this post is scrambled everywhere. I'm currently sitting on the floor of my work bathroom in a stall crying trying to hide my panic attack, thinking about everything and I just can't get my mind to calm down.
@AEG84 and @Ready4theParty Thank you for helping me at least validate my feelings, even if they are irrational lol.
I'll add...I'm kind of annoyed, she already gets to pick TWO names, I only get to pick ONE, can't I have THAT one, especially since you have two other choices??
Your feelings are totally valid. We are team green but a girl name that I have loved forever just got swept up as a middle name for a family friend's LO and even just THAT has turned me off of a name I have adored for a long time. And since it's BFM, to add insult to injury she spelled the name you-neekly (BARF!)
@kalanieileen I need you to bring it in for creepy internet hugs. Bring it in...
But for real, remember that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Delegate where you can and ask your hubby to help you relax when you are home. Now is not the time for you to be stressing over anything that doesn't absolutely matter. Housework can wait.
There is nothing wrong with being disappointed by the sex of your baby - DH wants a little girl so badly that I will be sorely disappointed if I can't give him one this go-around. It's not that I won't love any baby, even a baby with serious issues, but it's what he wants so badly that I will be disappointed to disappoint him.
My family is quite judgemental and looks down on most of the things I do; what helps me is knowing that if they don't want to be part of my life, it's their loss. It took me a long time, but I've developed a rather flippant attitude toward them. I have friends who are closer to me than my family will ever be, and I know that as long as I am lived and supported, it doesn't matter if those providing the support share common ancestors with me.
I'm really, really sorry about your papa and I hope he feels better. It's so hard to watch our loved ones age.
Anxiety blows, and it blows especially hard when you're crazy hormonal on top of it. I try to remind myself (since I'm not taking Ativan anymore) that very few things that I stress about actually matter: my job will be there in the morning and my coworkers are there for the sole purpose of easing my load (a bit different in your situation, but it won't hurt to talk to your super about seeing what you can do to ease the pressure). My family will either come around or they'll miss knowing LO - who promises to be vibrant and incredible because he or she is my offspring - so that's their loss. Essentially, there is nothing on this earth that is worth stressing over when I know that stress can affect my child.
Good luck - and know that no matter what you do, you're already an awesome mom - even if you're disappointed if LO is a girl.
I'm just going to take a minute to whine about DH being glued to the TV since Fallout 4 came out last week. He's been great about showering me with attention so I don't feel ignored, but I really would like to put something else on the TV. As funny as it is to hear him talk to himself, I could really go for an episode of Parks and Rec.
Is the mobile bump being spotty? I keep missing big chunks of posts.
@kalanieileen ... I'm so sorry you are dealing with SO much right now. Please let me add my my own creepy hugs to those being sent your way. I'll also admit that I've been trying to find a link to a recording of an obscure song that your username reminds me of... I wanted to send it to you as a lame attempt to cheer you up, but the only recording I've been able to find online is the link to the album on iTunes. #fail #Ireallydomeanwell
But whatevs, here's the link anyway: Track #6: For My Sister From the album Arkadelphia by Randall Goodgame
I'm just going to take a minute to whine about DH being glued to the TV since Fallout 4 came out last week. He's been great about showering me with attention so I don't feel ignored, but I really would like to put something else on the TV. As funny as it is to hear him talk to himself, I could really go for an episode of Parks and Rec.
We brought our Doberman PUPPY to the dog park yesterday and because he's a Doberman he must be mean. Seriously people he's 8 weeks old. I promise he won't hurt your 60 pound dog. Even when he's older, being that I know how he will be trained he still wouldn't hurt a fly. Stop thinking because the breed is known to be aggressive that all of them are. It's all in how they're trained.
We have a mastiff and people will seriously pull their dogs and children away from him when we're at the park. He's huge now (80 lbs) so I get the nervousness, but people acted that way when he was a puppy. Like, seriously, he's afraid of birds and trains people. He doesn't go near anyone he doesn't know and would probably pee if someone broke into our house haha. I don't think people will ever get that it's the owner not the breed that makes most dogs vicious.
We brought our Doberman PUPPY to the dog park yesterday and because he's a Doberman he must be mean. Seriously people he's 8 weeks old. I promise he won't hurt your 60 pound dog. Even when he's older, being that I know how he will be trained he still wouldn't hurt a fly. Stop thinking because the breed is known to be aggressive that all of them are. It's all in how they're trained.
We have a mastiff and people will seriously pull their dogs and children away from him when we're at the park. He's huge now (80 lbs) so I get the nervousness, but people acted that way when he was a puppy. Like, seriously, he's afraid of birds and trains people. He doesn't go near anyone he doesn't know and would probably pee if someone broke into our house haha. I don't think people will ever get that it's the owner not the breed that makes most dogs vicious.
My 50ish lb, 6-month-old lab/German shephard mix will submissively pee if I speak in a harsh tone. I can't even be mad, but she, too, will soon be massive but she's so sweet, I can't even take the credit for most of her training because of her natural disposition. I will say that I am a bit nervous around big dogs that jump, especially now that I'm pregnant, because I'm small enough to be easily knocked over and they generally don't know their own size. But, like you said, that's all in the training. I'm hoping our girl will be broken from jumping by the time I'm big enough to throw off my balance.
We brought our Doberman PUPPY to the dog park yesterday and because he's a Doberman he must be mean. Seriously people he's 8 weeks old. I promise he won't hurt your 60 pound dog. Even when he's older, being that I know how he will be trained he still wouldn't hurt a fly. Stop thinking because the breed is known to be aggressive that all of them are. It's all in how they're trained.
We have a mastiff and people will seriously pull their dogs and children away from him when we're at the park. He's huge now (80 lbs) so I get the nervousness, but people acted that way when he was a puppy. Like, seriously, he's afraid of birds and trains people. He doesn't go near anyone he doesn't know and would probably pee if someone broke into our house haha. I don't think people will ever get that it's the owner not the breed that makes most dogs vicious.
My 50ish lb, 6-month-old lab/German shephard mix will submissively pee if I speak in a harsh tone. I can't even be mad, but she, too, will soon be massive but she's so sweet, I can't even take the credit for most of her training because of her natural disposition. I will say that I am a bit nervous around big dogs that jump, especially now that I'm pregnant, because I'm small enough to be easily knocked over and they generally don't know their own size. But, like you said, that's all in the training. I'm hoping our girl will be broken from jumping by the time I'm big enough to throw off my balance.
Haru ( can you tell my husband loves Chris Farley?) became incredibly gentle with me the bigger I got with DD. I probably sound like a wacko but I really believed he knew and does this time too.
@kalanieileen I hope everything gets better for you. I'm sorry you're under so much stress.
My BFM: I wish DH's family would just make up their minds about what they want to do for Christmas. They are all being so wishy washy about it. Sorry, but I've had my work schedule for the holiday set since September and I can't change it now. DH and i only have 2 options and one of them involves him going without me. And honestly at least 75% of me doesn't even want to go visit them anymore. Not to mention all the things that I need to spend money on other than expensive plane tickets. GRRRR!! >:(
@kalanieileen more internet hugs your way! I was the same way. Back in high school up until I had dd I ALWAYS wanted to have a boy first, then a girl, then another boy. When I found out the first time it was a girl I was a little upset because I had my heart set on boy, but then I realized DH had really wanted a girl so that helped me to move past it. Knowing he was getting what he secretly wanted. Now I wouldn't change it for the world. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your papa. My grandpa actually went to the hospital on Saturday and they were positive he had a tear in his aorta and would need surgery. Then the test results came back and everything was normal and he felt better. It was a miracle! So just try to stay positive about it all...easier said then done, I know. More hugs your way and I hope everything works out for you!
@agk2015@allaire314@pinguinageddon@amadorRose@aa79606@elasticheart13@sprocketsngadgets@brittnys10@tkaiser91@mrstrax So I purposely avoided this post because I knew I was going to come back to some very heartfelt and loving responses and I just knew that I was going to sob while reading all of them. So I waited until I got home from work before I opened up my mind to all of your love. I thank each and every one of you so much for taking the time to send me support and *not so creepy * internet hugs at a time very much needed. I love knowing I can come home and find understanding from all of you when I can't find it in those surrounding me. I know they mean well, but they really cannot relate to the crazy hormones and how all of my emotions are heightened. Again, thank you all, I truly appreciate all of you April mamas. *kissy emoji face*
@agk2015@allaire314@pinguinageddon@amadorRose@aa79606@elasticheart13@sprocketsngadgets@brittnys10@tkaiser91@mrstrax So I purposely avoided this post because I knew I was going to come back to some very heartfelt and loving responses and I just knew that I was going to sob while reading all of them. So I waited until I got home from work before I opened up my mind to all of your love. I thank each and every one of you so much for taking the time to send me support and *not so creepy * internet hugs at a time very much needed. I love knowing I can come home and find understanding from all of you when I can't find it in those surrounding me. I know they mean well, but they really cannot relate to the crazy hormones and how all of my emotions are heightened. Again, thank you all, I truly appreciate all of you April mamas. *kissy emoji face*
I missed sending you loves but Im RIGHT THERE WITH EVERYONE ELSE!!!! And if you're in Vegas I can give you in real life creepy internet hugs. I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling happy.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I am both a librarian and a conservative Christian. As a librarian, the bigotry I encounter from some Christians (as well as the fear mongering) drives me to my wits end!!!! I can't stand how hypocritical my closest loved ones are at times and it drives me nuts!!!!! At the same time, my more "open-minded" library peeps are sure that anyone who disagrees with them is a hateful bigot. Any time the idea of censorship comes up it's always the Christians who are to blame. We must keep Christmas out of the library because it's hurtful to non-Christians (anyone want to suggest maybe INCLUDING everyone, instead of EXCLUDING them?). The bigotry and hypocrisydrives me nuts, to the point where I just can't stand people anymore!!!!!!
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
@JanaBonfield we do not celebrate Christmas in my family but as a child I loved Christmas decorations and Christmas trees and I still do. DH wants us to celebrate it when LO comes too. It's a shame that things have to be this way.
I have Tuesday vent too. DH and I were looking at cribs tonight and when we told the sales associate we were looking for an espresso/cherry/darker stained panel crib he immediate said oh your having a boy. I was like no, it's another girl but we're going with vintage safari in the nursery. He gave me a weird look then tried to show us all the dark cribs with feminine details (flowers/curves) while also pointing out all the white cribs. Apparently cribs are gender specific now. Yep, DD2 is getting a "boy" crib
@elasticheart13 I agree. My favorite assignment in school was for everyone to report on what they did over winter break and interview their parents about holiday traditions. It was so great to learn about all these cool holidays I didn't know were out there!
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
Tuesday vent for me too! A female cousin just sent me a message on FB asking if I'm sure I'm having one baby because "your belly looks huuuuuuuuge." :-| First of all, you have seen ONE picture of me. Second, I was wearing a loose blouse that I can grown into which also has a busy print, so I'm not sure what you even saw. Third, I haven't even gained 5 lbs yet. Fourth, you're a MOM too! I'd expect this from like, my 16 year old male cousins but seriously? Fifth, you have some rude balls on you. And sixth, your husband is a stuck-up a-hole and we all dislike him and yes, I'm being petty now. Bye Felicia!!!!!
We had an ARD meeting for my stepson this afternoon at his pre-K. He's been receiving speech therapy & was recently assessed by the school concerning his emotional/behavioral issues. Things went well all around, until the very end as we were finishing up and the speech therapist said, "Well, he is four," in regards to my frustration that he frequently talks to adults as if he is their peer, if not their effing superior in both intelligence and authority.
Excuse me ma'am, but I happen to be a mom with 18 years experience, who has raised two high school honor students who are freaking awesome kids to be around... Smart, polite, funny, creative, kind and generous. I've also worked the nursery at my church as a teen, in a busy daycare as a young mom after my first was born, and then I kept kids in our home after my second. I don't give a rat's ass if he is four. We expect him to be respectful of authority, and not to get aggressive with his teachers or say things like "You're just making it worse!" when one of them is firm with him about his behavior, or he doesn't feel like doing what he is told. UGH!!!
@aa79606 in my experience, even the most polite kids have stages like this. And when kids have parents who are consistent and insistent on good manners, they adopt good manners.
@amadorrose I know... My kids, hell all kids have phases like this. You teach them what you expect from them, and you move on. However in this case this is a persistent, ongoing problem that we have been dealing with for at least a year and a half. SS is very bright, and has a terrific memory. He is just also very confident that he knows better than everyone else, period.
Edit: to add apologies for being abrupt, I'm just beyond frustrated at the moment and I'm really, REALLY tired of blatant defiance, being (incorrectly) corrected by a four-year-old about EVERYTHING, and of smiling weakly while strangers laugh at SS's impertinence because "he's so cute!"
@amadorrose I know... My kids, hell all kids have phases like this. You teach them what you expect from them, and you move on. However in this case this is a persistent, ongoing problem that we have been dealing with for at least a year and a half. SS is very bright, and has a terrific memory. He is just also very confident that he knows better than everyone else, period.
One of my nieces went through a phase of interrupting adults...and by phase, I mean a solid two years. Part of the issue was that she's homeschooled and she and her siblings normally have my sister's undivided attention. That being said, she is MUCH more polite now and doesn't interrupt unless something is wrong with her new baby brother. I'm no expert, but maybe you can get creative. I have no idea what you could creatively do, but you've done the mom thing before so I'm sure you're way smarter than I am
If I have one more person tell me that it looks like I'm having twins , look farther than I am, having a boy, or a subsequent pregnancy I'm going to loose my shit. I've been smiling and saying " nope just one healthy active girl in there " but soon it will not be as kind of an answer. I mean seriously people can be rude.
@amadorrose I know... My kids, hell all kids have phases like this. You teach them what you expect from them, and you move on. However in this case this is a persistent, ongoing problem that we have been dealing with for at least a year and a half. SS is very bright, and has a terrific memory. He is just also very confident that he knows better than everyone else, period.
One of my nieces went through a phase of interrupting adults...and by phase, I mean a solid two years. Part of the issue was that she's homeschooled and she and her siblings normally have my sister's undivided attention. That being said, she is MUCH more polite now and doesn't interrupt unless something is wrong with her new baby brother. I'm no expert, but maybe you can get creative. I have no idea what you could creatively do, but you've done the mom thing before so I'm sure you're way smarter than I am
Ha, I know I'm not smarter than you. Sorry if I'm coming across like I think I am... I keep telling myself "every kid is different, every kid is different" but there's a lot at play here, and I've lost a LOT of my patience. At this point I have no more energy to spend finding a way to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. I'm clinging to consistency, consistency, consistency, and consequences, for dear life.
@amadorrose I know... My kids, hell all kids have phases like this. You teach them what you expect from them, and you move on. However in this case this is a persistent, ongoing problem that we have been dealing with for at least a year and a half. SS is very bright, and has a terrific memory. He is just also very confident that he knows better than everyone else, period.
One of my nieces went through a phase of interrupting adults...and by phase, I mean a solid two years. Part of the issue was that she's homeschooled and she and her siblings normally have my sister's undivided attention. That being said, she is MUCH more polite now and doesn't interrupt unless something is wrong with her new baby brother. I'm no expert, but maybe you can get creative. I have no idea what you could creatively do, but you've done the mom thing before so I'm sure you're way smarter than I am
Ha, I know I'm not smarter than you. Sorry if I'm coming across like I think I am... I keep telling myself "every kid is different, every kid is different" but there's a lot at play here, and I've lost a LOT of my patience. At this point I have no more energy to spend finding a way to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. I'm clinging to consistency, consistency, consistency, and consequences, for dear life.
Oh you weren't condescending at all - I just know that at this point, all of my ideas for LO are still just ideas, and I'm sure most of them will go out the window when LO gets here. Most STM+ are way smarter than I am about all things baby!
@amadorrose I know... My kids, hell all kids have phases like this. You teach them what you expect from them, and you move on. However in this case this is a persistent, ongoing problem that we have been dealing with for at least a year and a half. SS is very bright, and has a terrific memory. He is just also very confident that he knows better than everyone else, period.
One of my nieces went through a phase of interrupting adults...and by phase, I mean a solid two years. Part of the issue was that she's homeschooled and she and her siblings normally have my sister's undivided attention. That being said, she is MUCH more polite now and doesn't interrupt unless something is wrong with her new baby brother. I'm no expert, but maybe you can get creative. I have no idea what you could creatively do, but you've done the mom thing before so I'm sure you're way smarter than I am
Ha, I know I'm not smarter than you. Sorry if I'm coming across like I think I am... I keep telling myself "every kid is different, every kid is different" but there's a lot at play here, and I've lost a LOT of my patience. At this point I have no more energy to spend finding a way to reinvent the wheel, so to speak. I'm clinging to consistency, consistency, consistency, and consequences, for dear life.
Oh you weren't condescending at all - I just know that at this point, all of my ideas for LO are still just ideas, and I'm sure most of them will go out the window when LO gets here. Most STM+ are way smarter than I am about all things baby!
It takes a village, and all that. I'm just so very frustrated, and I've been pulling my hair out for 2 years trying to figure out how to best handle SS's multiple issues, that her offhand implication that my expectations regarding his behavior were unreasonable just about made me lose my shit. I know he's four!! He's also extremely bright, and he KNOWS BETTER. It's been really hard, and I already have So. Much. Guilt. that we (okay, I) haven't been able to "fix" his issues, and that he makes me soooooo mad sometimes... I really didn't appreciate a comment like that from the speech lady, who only interacts with him for 30 minutes once a week and generally doesn't have to deal with his beligerance because he looooves going to speech therapy (one-on-one play time while the rest of the class is working). Sigh. Okay, I'm shutting up now...
Re: BFM 11/16
I haven't spoken to my mother since 4 months ago when I broke the news I was expecting. She didn't take it well, and it's terrible not having her as someone I can go to in moments like these. Her birthday is on the 19th of this month and it breaks my heart we are not on good terms. My family doesn't approve of my DH so that adds to my stress of future baby plans. The 19th is also a day my store will be receiving a visit from a corporate office regarding my promotion. If I fail this visit, then my boss isn't promoted and I hate letting people down.
I'm terrified of having sex disappointment if I have a girl. I feel totally dumb for even saying it, but when I say I've always wanted a boy first, I mean I've always wanted a boy first. Even when I was a teen I said I wanted my first to be a boy. My cousin just put me in a group chat of our family and she just found out she's having a boy. And everyone's so excited blah blah boy this boy that. And I'm happy for her, I am. But I can't help but feel a twinge of anxiety at not knowing what I'm having-- again feel even more dumb because i should care about the health of my babe first and foremost, which don't get me wrong, I totally do. I just still can't shake wanting to know the sex.
My papa is in the hospital from coming back a month in the PI and it terrifies me because he is 80 and susceptible to a lot of health issues. Honestly this post is scrambled everywhere. I'm currently sitting on the floor of my work bathroom in a stall crying trying to hide my panic attack, thinking about everything and I just can't get my mind to calm down.
Ugh I want ice cream.
So I get how you're feeling. You've warned her, so I wouldn't worry too much! Maybe she'll use Liz.. And you can use Ellie!
This morning the DH and I attended a service meeting at the restaurant. We've been closed since the beginning of September and will *finally* be re-opening this Friday.
There was no need for me to be at this meeting. I've been up since 5 am. I was told I won't even be allowed to work until after I give birth. I didn't even get a uniform shirt.
I've been waiting around and being hopeful for the last two and a half months-- for absolutely nothing.
On top of that, the boss fell through on a lot of promises we were banking on in order to be able to afford basic needs-- and our baby.
There's just a lot of bullcrap overall involving this job, and I'm so, SO mad.
But for real, remember that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Delegate where you can and ask your hubby to help you relax when you are home. Now is not the time for you to be stressing over anything that doesn't absolutely matter. Housework can wait.
There is nothing wrong with being disappointed by the sex of your baby - DH wants a little girl so badly that I will be sorely disappointed if I can't give him one this go-around. It's not that I won't love any baby, even a baby with serious issues, but it's what he wants so badly that I will be disappointed to disappoint him.
My family is quite judgemental and looks down on most of the things I do; what helps me is knowing that if they don't want to be part of my life, it's their loss. It took me a long time, but I've developed a rather flippant attitude toward them. I have friends who are closer to me than my family will ever be, and I know that as long as I am lived and supported, it doesn't matter if those providing the support share common ancestors with me.
I'm really, really sorry about your papa and I hope he feels better. It's so hard to watch our loved ones age.
Anxiety blows, and it blows especially hard when you're crazy hormonal on top of it. I try to remind myself (since I'm not taking Ativan anymore) that very few things that I stress about actually matter: my job will be there in the morning and my coworkers are there for the sole purpose of easing my load (a bit different in your situation, but it won't hurt to talk to your super about seeing what you can do to ease the pressure). My family will either come around or they'll miss knowing LO - who promises to be vibrant and incredible because he or she is my offspring - so that's their loss. Essentially, there is nothing on this earth that is worth stressing over when I know that stress can affect my child.
Good luck - and know that no matter what you do, you're already an awesome mom - even if you're disappointed if LO is a girl.
@kalanieileen ... I'm so sorry you are dealing with SO much right now.
But whatevs, here's the link anyway:
Track #6: For My Sister
From the album
Arkadelphia by Randall Goodgame
https://itun.es/us/3rt4V
(Full disclosure, I think he's saying "ah-leeeeee" and not Eileen, but dammit it sounds a lot like Eileen, and I think it's a beautiful song.
My BFM: I wish DH's family would just make up their minds about what they want to do for Christmas. They are all being so wishy washy about it. Sorry, but I've had my work schedule for the holiday set since September and I can't change it now. DH and i only have 2 options and one of them involves him going without me. And honestly at least 75% of me doesn't even want to go visit them anymore. Not to mention all the things that I need to spend money on other than expensive plane tickets. GRRRR!! >:(
We had an ARD meeting for my stepson this afternoon at his pre-K. He's been receiving speech therapy & was recently assessed by the school concerning his emotional/behavioral issues. Things went well all around, until the very end as we were finishing up and the speech therapist said, "Well, he is four," in regards to my frustration that he frequently talks to adults as if he is their peer, if not their effing superior in both intelligence and authority.
Excuse me ma'am, but I happen to be a mom with 18 years experience, who has raised two high school honor students who are freaking awesome kids to be around... Smart, polite, funny, creative, kind and generous. I've also worked the nursery at my church as a teen, in a busy daycare as a young mom after my first was born, and then I kept kids in our home after my second. I don't give a rat's ass if he is four. We expect him to be respectful of authority, and not to get aggressive with his teachers or say things like "You're just making it worse!" when one of them is firm with him about his behavior, or he doesn't feel like doing what he is told. UGH!!!
Edit: to add apologies for being abrupt, I'm just beyond frustrated at the moment and I'm really, REALLY tired of blatant defiance, being (incorrectly) corrected by a four-year-old about EVERYTHING, and of smiling weakly while strangers laugh at SS's impertinence because "he's so cute!"