Honest question though, what makes someone a woman then if it's not having two X chromosomes? I totally don't understand how you can define being a woman as different than biological sex without using a stereotype. Do I feel like a woman? Umm I don't think so? That's why I do not believe in gender at all. It makes no logical sense.
edited for confusing words
Gender isn't a faith, religion, or practice for belief to have a factor. It's how people identify themselves as.
Yes biologically, xx is female and xy is male. But Gender is woman or man, the social constraints put on the biological male/female.
You probably don't "feel" like a woman because you are not questioning your gender identity. You are comfortable in your own skin, and comfortable wearing/doing things that are feminine (social constraint. Not biological). You do not cringe when someone uses she/her pronouns to refer to you. Which is A-ok because you do identify as a female who is a woman. But there are some, like my biological brother, who does not identify what society deems as a man. She has gone through transition to feel like a woman. Wears woman clothes, changes voice to feel more comfortable. All that really matters is happiness. She is truly happy and that is because she now feels like a woman.
People are breaking social norms each and everyday. There are male men who identify as man but still like activities and hobbies that society deems as feminine. I.e.:make up artist, hair stylist, ballet dancer. And vice versa. I am a female woman who loves sports, boxing, fighting, and cars.
I don't think anyone can truly understand gender. It's a phenomenon that has spectrums that people fall along. And I think the most important thing we can do, is educate ourselves and remain an open mind; to not say ignorant things. Maybe then, those who feel marginalized can feel less oppressed.
ETA: ignorant doesn't mean stupid, it means unaware. A common misconception in the English language.
Honest question though, what makes someone a woman then if it's not having two X chromosomes? I totally don't understand how you can define being a woman as different than biological sex without using a stereotype. Do I feel like a woman? Umm I don't think so? That's why I do not believe in gender at all. It makes no logical sense.
edited for confusing words
Gender isn't a faith, religion, or practice for belief to have a factor. It's how people identify themselves as.
Yes biologically, xx is female and xy is male. But Gender is woman or man, the social constraints put on the biological male/female.
You probably don't "feel" like a woman because you are not questioning your gender identity. You are comfortable in your own skin, and comfortable wearing/doing things that are feminine (social constraint. Not biological). You do not cringe when someone uses she/her pronouns to refer to you. Which is A-ok because you do identify as a female who is a woman.
But there are some, like my biological brother, who does not identify what society deems as a man. She has gone through transition to feel like a woman. Wears woman clothes, changes voice to feel more comfortable. All that really matters is happiness. She is truly happy and that is because she now feels like a woman.
People are breaking social norms each and everyday. There are male men who identify as man but still like activities and hobbies that society deems as feminine. I.e.:make up artist, hair stylist, ballet dancer. And vice versa. I am a female woman who loves sports, boxing, fighting, and cars.
I don't think anyone can truly understand gender. It's a phenomenon that has spectrums that people fall along. And I think the most important thing we can do, is educate ourselves and remain an open mind; to not say ignorant things. Maybe then, those who feel marginalized can feel less oppressed.
ETA: ignorant doesn't mean stupid, it means unaware. A common misconception in the English language.
It sounds like you are saying that if you believe you are a woman that means you are a woman. I think that saying people are what they feel makes no sense so belief is a strong factor here since there is very little scientific evidence to support this. Wearing a dress and using a feminine voice etc. is a stereotype and is not evidence of being a woman. People can do what they want if it makes them happy, but it doesn't change biology. If I think I'm a 90 year old trapped in a 27 year old's body I am not able to demand to live in a retirement village, collect social security and get senior discounts. I don't see how transgender is more valid than transracial, trans-aged, or trans-species. Like you said "does not identify what society deems as a man" so it's a problem with cultural stereotypes, thus why let society decide what a man/woman is based on clothes/hobbies, etc.? It seems like this just supports the stereotypes. Why can't people just say they are still a guy but like dresses, etc.? It has to be about labels and dividing a biological distinction and the characteristics that have historically corresponded to this into separate things? I guess it would make more sense to have these separate if there were different terms, like the word "woman" is used for sex and gender? If the same word is used for both how can you distinguish these as separate categories? So much confusion!
Where the hell do you get a strainer fine enough to rinse quinoa? It all says to rinse it first but I have looked so hard for an appropriate strainer and it's been impossible to find one.
Honest question though, what makes someone a woman then if it's not having two X chromosomes? I totally don't understand how you can define being a woman as different than biological sex without using a stereotype. Do I feel like a woman? Umm I don't think so? That's why I do not believe in gender at all. It makes no logical sense.
edited for confusing words
Gender isn't a faith, religion, or practice for belief to have a factor. It's how people identify themselves as.
Yes biologically, xx is female and xy is male. But Gender is woman or man, the social constraints put on the biological male/female.
You probably don't "feel" like a woman because you are not questioning your gender identity. You are comfortable in your own skin, and comfortable wearing/doing things that are feminine (social constraint. Not biological). You do not cringe when someone uses she/her pronouns to refer to you. Which is A-ok because you do identify as a female who is a woman. But there are some, like my biological brother, who does not identify what society deems as a man. She has gone through transition to feel like a woman. Wears woman clothes, changes voice to feel more comfortable. All that really matters is happiness. She is truly happy and that is because she now feels like a woman.
People are breaking social norms each and everyday. There are male men who identify as man but still like activities and hobbies that society deems as feminine. I.e.:make up artist, hair stylist, ballet dancer. And vice versa. I am a female woman who loves sports, boxing, fighting, and cars.
I don't think anyone can truly understand gender. It's a phenomenon that has spectrums that people fall along. And I think the most important thing we can do, is educate ourselves and remain an open mind; to not say ignorant things. Maybe then, those who feel marginalized can feel less oppressed.
ETA: ignorant doesn't mean stupid, it means unaware. A common misconception in the English language.
It sounds like you are saying that if you believe you are a woman that means you are a woman. I think that saying people are what they feel makes no sense so belief is a strong factor here since there is very little scientific evidence to support this. Wearing a dress and using a feminine voice etc. is a stereotype and is not evidence of being a woman. People can do what they want if it makes them happy, but it doesn't change biology. If I think I'm a 90 year old trapped in a 27 year old's body I am not able to demand to live in a retirement village, collect social security and get senior discounts. I don't see how transgender is more valid than transracial, trans-aged, or trans-species. Like you said "does not identify what society deems as a man" so it's a problem with cultural stereotypes, thus why let society decide what a man/woman is based on clothes/hobbies, etc.? It seems like this just supports the stereotypes. Why can't people just say they are still a guy but like dresses, etc.? It has to be about labels and dividing a biological distinction and the characteristics that have historically corresponded to this into separate things? I guess it would make more sense to have these separate if there were different terms, like the word "woman" is used for sex and gender? If the same word is used for both how can you distinguish these as separate categories? So much confusion!
A person with a penis who wears a dress still has a penis, the difference is whether that person feels that he should have also been born with a vagina. It's not about ill-fitting stereotypes, it's about that person not feeling like the sex assigned to him/her at birth. Just because I do not fit most female stereotypes does not mean I don't feel like a woman; I assure you, I am 100% certain that I am a woman. Enjoying traditionally male activities does not make me think I should have been born with a penis.
Science can only tell us so much at this point. Because science can't determine who is gay, does that make homosexuality confusing to you? I am personally agnostic, but that doesn't mean I run around telling people there is no god because there's no scientific proof one exists. It's an asinine argument to have.
Also, WTAF is trans-species? Are you making this up to fuck with us? If I don't come back it's because I googled and had a stroke, in which case it was nice knowing y'all. If I survive, I'll report back with my very scientific googling.
Where the hell do you get a strainer fine enough to rinse quinoa? It all says to rinse it first but I have looked so hard for an appropriate strainer and it's been impossible to find one.
I rarely rinse my quinoa but when I do I use one of those mesh strainers. Does the job.
Update: trans-species is a term used in psychology to refer to the phenomenon of non-humans having human emotions, such as elephants having PTSD. Species dysphoria refers to people who feel that they should have been born an animal and is referred to as trans species.
Only one mention of furries. I was not brave enough to look at the images that populated with the search: "trans-species."
ETA: I want this penguin onesie. Not because I think I'm a penguin, but because I want a onesie and I think penguins are adorable. Bonus points for butt flaps so I don't have to undress and be cold when I poop.
I meant people that feel like another species. I made that term up. I don't feel like a human. I think I'm secretly an alien. I also feel like I'm 100 years old or something. No I am not messing with you. I think I get what you guys are saying though. It makes more sense than it did before. I'm not trying to be offensive. I just am super analytical and this subject is so taboo if I even try to ask questions about it I get labeled as a bad person.
@RoseShadow873 the problem isn't questioning, it's phrasing. I grew up as just another white kid in an all-white area and have tons of questions about the culture of other races simply because I want to understand. The key to questioning not being offensive and being open-minded. Saying that something isn't plausible or doesn't make sense to you because it can't be proven invalidates the feelings of the person you are asking. When people feel invalidated, they get defensive.
Also, you can't walk up to some dude who is obviously cross-dressing and asking him why he likes wearing dresses; maybe he likes to feel the cool breeze on his balls, maybe he's dressing up to teach his own children something, and the one possibility that can absolutely be ruled out is that his attire is any of your business. The key is knowing who you're talking to and having a relationship with them that is open and non-hostile.
@RoseShadow873 in regards to woman meaning both sex and gender, that is the problem. Which is why you are confused, as you say. Woman is gender. Female is sex.
I agree with the idea that it enforces stereotypes to an extent. But unfortunately, change doesn't happen over night. And the start to a new wave of thinking is just understanding that males can feel like a woman. And females can feel like a man.
Earlier in your statement you mentioned how it is a belief because you can't say what you feel, but as @AmadorRose mentioned, does this apply to homosexuality as well? It's the same concept. Someone thinks they are gay, so they are gay.
I don't find you offensive at all. human diversity was one of my minors in college, so I love talking about these issues. And you're not a bad person for asking questions and wanting to understand.
ETA: I didn't originally read @AmadorRose latest post. And she is correct in that, questioning things is not offensive unless one questions in a way of saying things are not plausible because one does not understand. If one questions for educational and awareness purposes then one is not offensive.
I meant people that feel like another species. I made that term up. I don't feel like a human. I think I'm secretly an alien. I also feel like I'm 100 years old or something. No I am not messing with you. I think I get what you guys are saying though. It makes more sense than it did before. I'm not trying to be offensive. I just am super analytical and this subject is so taboo if I even try to ask questions about it I get labeled as a bad person.
I'm not gonna act like I have any answers but I love the open mindedness I'm seeing on this board lately to everyone's comments. I'm glad it makes a "little" more sense. Question for you now since I'm curious at the extent of lack of gender distinctions you've been emphasizing. If you woke up tomorrow and were yourself in every way, but suddenly you were a man, would you be okay with that? Let's say for the sake of this argument that LO had been born and you had weaned (if you plan on nursing), so that your baby wouldn't affect this "change".
Edit because I somehow had a completely different post on top of the quote box that I have no idea how it got there Or who wrote it. WEIRD
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I just had another thought. Gender stereotypes aside, our biological sex produces hormones that ARE different. Males ARE different than females. (@kalanieileen am I using male and female property?). Testosterone has different effects than estrogen. Yes it's a stereotype that women are emotional and men are wild and strong, but our actual hormones do produce these results in many of us, some more than others since we are all individuals. In addition if you look at toddlers who don't have a concept of gender identity, girls are much more content sitting still and reading a book (or whatever) while boys are much more physical, and they have no concept of gender or sex in terms of which category they fall into or if there even is a category. I understand some of it may be reaction to how they are raised, but trust me, we had 7 boys and zero girls in music class today, and it was like a tornado. Last season's class DS was the only boy (there was one other but he only came half the time and was older, like 4), and the class was so much calmer. There's something inside us that is just a part of who we are that I personally can't define, but I think that's what or gender identity is. Maybe gender identity is like describing a color to a blind person.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@RoseShadow873 a lot of people feel like old souls, or never grow up, and they could have cognitive disso
I meant people that feel like another species. I made that term up. I don't feel like a human. I think I'm secretly an alien. I also feel like I'm 100 years old or something. No I am not messing with you. I think I get what you guys are saying though. It makes more sense than it did before. I'm not trying to be offensive. I just am super analytical and this subject is so taboo if I even try to ask questions about it I get labeled as a bad person.
I'm not gonna act like I have any answers but I love the open mindedness I'm seeing on this board lately to everyone's comments. I'm glad it makes a "little" more sense. Question for you now since I'm curious at the extent of lack of gender distinctions you've been emphasizing. If you woke up tomorrow and were yourself in every way, but suddenly you were a man, would you be okay with that? Let's say for the sake of this argument that LO had been born and you had weaned (if you plan on nursing), so that your baby wouldn't affect this "change".
I think I would be ok with it over than my husband probably would not want to be married to me anymore but obviously that is so hypothetical. It might be a little easier for me than some people because I'm used to feeling unusual and like I don't belong or something. I can't say I haven't wondered what it would be like to be a guy/wanted to be one! I mean, there are some definite advantages! No periods and such! I didn't mean to sound like this stuff can't be true, just that with what I currently knew on the subject I was unable to believe but I am pretty open-minded; I just wanted a better explanation than "they identify as another gender" because what does that really mean? But I think your answers made more sense. I have a transgender family member through marriage and from interacting with that individual I really got the impression that it was about a stereotypical image to them and I think stereotyping women as dress and makeup-wearing fashion-obsessed people looking for a rich husband is offensive but I know that is just one person and shouldn't represent everyone. I guess it's different than I thought if you are right: more about the body parts and less about that other stuff.
I woke up to pee and almost passed out with that warm vomity feeling that spreads inside. So had in not having constant nausea all day anymore but man, these little episodes need to end.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Have any of y'all invested in a support tank? I've gained 5 lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't mind spending the money if it's worth the price and I don't know whether a belly band will give me the same support and relief.
Have any of y'all invested in a support tank? I've gained 5 lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't mind spending the money if it's worth the price and I don't know whether a belly band will give me the same support and relief.
What's that? (Also prego brain randomly decided to start to type that in broken German wtf?)
Have any of y'all invested in a support tank? I've gained 5 lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't mind spending the money if it's worth the price and I don't know whether a belly band will give me the same support and relief.
What's that? (Also prego brain randomly decided to start to type that in broken German wtf?)
Have any of y'all invested in a support tank? I've gained 5 lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't mind spending the money if it's worth the price and I don't know whether a belly band will give me the same support and relief.
Pre-pregnancy, all of my pantyhose was from Spanx; one of those that come all the way up the waist til right under your boobs. I continue to wear them throughout pregnancy (I wear skirts/dresses with opaque black pantyhose most days) and I feel like it gives me nice belly support.
Have any of y'all invested in a support tank? I've gained 5 lbs and my back is already killing me. I don't mind spending the money if it's worth the price and I don't know whether a belly band will give me the same support and relief.
Pre-pregnancy, all of my pantyhose was from Spanx; one of those that come all the way up the waist til right under your boobs. I continue to wear them throughout pregnancy (I wear skirts/dresses with opaque black pantyhose most days) and I feel like it gives me nice belly support.
Do you think they'll stretch with you as your belly gets bigger? I've done compression gear for running but never support wear as everyday attire.
@AmadorRose I wear a compression tank every day, I always have, I like the 'hug' lol. It's been stretching with me well so far and I think it helps with my back discomfort a bit.
@AmadorRose I wear a compression tank every day, I always have, I like the 'hug' lol. It's been stretching with me well so far and I think it helps with my back discomfort a bit.
I can only imagine how horrifying an experience trying to wrestle DDD's into a compression tank would be...
@AmadorRose I wear a compression tank every day, I always have, I like the 'hug' lol. It's been stretching with me well so far and I think it helps with my back discomfort a bit.
I can only imagine how horrifying an experience trying to wrestle DDD's into a compression tank would be...
I'm a D usually, probably running closer to a DD these days, and they're tightly squished into a sports bra then the tank. It's comical sometimes getting into it buttttt I love it.
They also make under the bust cuts so you can wear a regular bra or whatever abs have the compression start under your bust line.
@AmadorRose I wear a compression tank every day, I always have, I like the 'hug' lol. It's been stretching with me well so far and I think it helps with my back discomfort a bit.
I can only imagine how horrifying an experience trying to wrestle DDD's into a compression tank would be...
I definitely don't have this problem and don't anticipate having it until my milk comes in...but even then it's a maybe.
@kalanieileen work naps are the BEST. I'm so excited that it's almost cool enough here for me to nap in my car at lunch and not have to run the air.
So I watched the PBS doc Twice Born last night on Netflix - how freaking awesome is modern medicine?!?
Long story short, the doc follows a handful of families as they go through the candidacy process to be recipients of FETAL surgery through eventually going home. Like, partial c-section, fetal surger, close them back in, stay for months near the hospital, re-c/s at first signs of labor, any necessary follow up surgeries for baby depending on the issue. Woah.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it until after your a/s since it's all about worst case scenarios, and there is both loss and discussion of fetal demise involved, but really really cool advances in medicine happening.
So I watched the PBS doc Twice Born last night on Netflix - how freaking awesome is modern medicine?!?
Long story short, the doc follows a handful of families as they go through the candidacy process to be recipients of FETAL surgery through eventually going home. Like, partial c-section, fetal surger, close them back in, stay for months near the hospital, re-c/s at first signs of labor, any necessary follow up surgeries for baby depending on the issue. Woah.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it until after your a/s since it's all about worst case scenarios, and there is both loss and discussion of fetal demise involved, but really really cool advances in medicine happening.
Thank you for the disclaimer at the end - my a/s isn't until the 25th and I'm freaking out a little now...I'm not prepared to start thinking in depth about the steps we'll have to take if anything is abnormal.
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for April Mamas**
Yes biologically, xx is female and xy is male. But Gender is woman or man, the social constraints put on the biological male/female.
You probably don't "feel" like a woman because you are not questioning your gender identity. You are comfortable in your own skin, and comfortable wearing/doing things that are feminine (social constraint. Not biological). You do not cringe when someone uses she/her pronouns to refer to you. Which is A-ok because you do identify as a female who is a woman.
But there are some, like my biological brother, who does not identify what society deems as a man. She has gone through transition to feel like a woman. Wears woman clothes, changes voice to feel more comfortable. All that really matters is happiness. She is truly happy and that is because she now feels like a woman.
People are breaking social norms each and everyday. There are male men who identify as man but still like activities and hobbies that society deems as feminine. I.e.:make up artist, hair stylist, ballet dancer. And vice versa. I am a female woman who loves sports, boxing, fighting, and cars.
I don't think anyone can truly understand gender. It's a phenomenon that has spectrums that people fall along. And I think the most important thing we can do, is educate ourselves and remain an open mind; to not say ignorant things. Maybe then, those who feel marginalized can feel less oppressed.
ETA: ignorant doesn't mean stupid, it means unaware. A common misconception in the English language.
------------------------quote fail------------------------
A person with a penis who wears a dress still has a penis, the difference is whether that person feels that he should have also been born with a vagina. It's not about ill-fitting stereotypes, it's about that person not feeling like the sex assigned to him/her at birth. Just because I do not fit most female stereotypes does not mean I don't feel like a woman; I assure you, I am 100% certain that I am a woman. Enjoying traditionally male activities does not make me think I should have been born with a penis.
Science can only tell us so much at this point. Because science can't determine who is gay, does that make homosexuality confusing to you? I am personally agnostic, but that doesn't mean I run around telling people there is no god because there's no scientific proof one exists. It's an asinine argument to have.
Also, WTAF is trans-species? Are you making this up to fuck with us? If I don't come back it's because I googled and had a stroke, in which case it was nice knowing y'all. If I survive, I'll report back with my very scientific googling.
Only one mention of furries. I was not brave enough to look at the images that populated with the search: "trans-species."
ETA: I want this penguin onesie. Not because I think I'm a penguin, but because I want a onesie and I think penguins are adorable. Bonus points for butt flaps so I don't have to undress and be cold when I poop.
Also, you can't walk up to some dude who is obviously cross-dressing and asking him why he likes wearing dresses; maybe he likes to feel the cool breeze on his balls, maybe he's dressing up to teach his own children something, and the one possibility that can absolutely be ruled out is that his attire is any of your business. The key is knowing who you're talking to and having a relationship with them that is open and non-hostile.
I agree with the idea that it enforces stereotypes to an extent. But unfortunately, change doesn't happen over night. And the start to a new wave of thinking is just understanding that males can feel like a woman. And females can feel like a man.
Earlier in your statement you mentioned how it is a belief because you can't say what you feel, but as @AmadorRose mentioned, does this apply to homosexuality as well? It's the same concept. Someone thinks they are gay, so they are gay.
I don't find you offensive at all. human diversity was one of my minors in college, so I love talking about these issues. And you're not a bad person for asking questions and wanting to understand.
ETA: I didn't originally read @AmadorRose latest post. And she is correct in that, questioning things is not offensive unless one questions in a way of saying things are not plausible because one does not understand. If one questions for educational and awareness purposes then one is not offensive.
Edit because I somehow had a completely different post on top of the quote box that I have no idea how it got there Or who wrote it. WEIRD
https://www.spanx.com/shorts/mama-short-38-163
https://www.spanx.com/hosiery/mama-sheers-38-015#1689=8849
They also make under the bust cuts so you can wear a regular bra or whatever abs have the compression start under your bust line.
@kalanieileen work naps are the BEST. I'm so excited that it's almost cool enough here for me to nap in my car at lunch and not have to run the air.
Long story short, the doc follows a handful of families as they go through the candidacy process to be recipients of FETAL surgery through eventually going home. Like, partial c-section, fetal surger, close them back in, stay for months near the hospital, re-c/s at first signs of labor, any necessary follow up surgeries for baby depending on the issue. Woah.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it until after your a/s since it's all about worst case scenarios, and there is both loss and discussion of fetal demise involved, but really really cool advances in medicine happening.