Benched/TTA Weekly Check-in 11/8

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

Welcome! This will be a place for those of us who are delaying TTC, for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer- even if it is for a good reason. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Generally:
Benched=involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and are "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA=avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually due to personal reasons
(NTNP= you are having sex without protection whenever you feel like it)

Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you will be here?

How has being benched/TTA been going?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener)

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? DH is TDY.

How long do you think you will be here? I'll be leaving after next week.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Horribly recently. If today is CD1 I'm not sure we could HIO before O unless I delay taking Femara a few days.

Anything else you'd like to share? I know I've been MIA. Busy/hectic/overwhelming weeks were had and I like my alone time to deal during such things. I'm good now.

QOTW: Invisibility. In a good way, not a no-one-cares way. People tend to not notice or mind when I'm around. I'm quiet and keep to myself.

As for last weeks QOTW, the idea came from the Four Lenses test. I'm green. The color to best describe me would be white. I like to survey and be in the background, trying to figure things out.

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Benched.

What brings you here? Waiting on lab results that say "hooray your thyroid levels are normal". Thyroidectomy (cancer) 5 weeks ago. Also... Ovarian Cystectomy last week... So even if we did want to HIO assuming levels are normal... It may be painful to do so...

How long do you think you will be here?
Hoping two more weeks and then off to WTO

How has being benched/TTA been going?
I hate surgeries. And cancer. And ovarian cysts. Ready to be "normal" again

Anything else you'd like to share?
Thinking about the upcoming holidays are hard. I have too many post ops to be jetting off to family. Thinking a super fancy restaurant in San fran... Somewhere there's not likely to be children... ? I've always loved cooking on holidays.. But cooking a holiday meal for two is depressing. We are also contemplating going snowshoeing up in Lake Tahoe... Not far from where we live... Can't decide on which. Any other ideas for *just us* on a holiday?

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener)
Magically transfer knowledge to others.... I guess? That doesn't sound very cool though.. Lol. I Consider my teaching abilities my greatest gift.

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

@gardeniagirlknits I hope you're feeling better soon. You've been through a lot recently. FX for your lab results. As for the holidays, I think the snowshoeing idea sounds fun and potentially romantic. I love the idea of a get-away trip to somewhere for some quality and fun time. If you want to stay home though, maybe you have some friends who are also staying in the area that you can invite over so you can cook for more than two?

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

@hunnybunny17 We are so new to the area, everyone we know is really more of an acquaintance... Awkward for a holiday invite lol!! We are only living here for a little while hubby is on this work project, then we will go back home... So it is especially a nice idea to snowshoe because we won't live near Tahoe forever, may as well take advantage!!

What is TDY?

benicode · November 2015

I like this idea!

**TW - Loss**

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? D&C for MMC three weeks ago

How long do you think you will be here? Hopefully another week? AF returned after my D&C last year after 4 weeks, so I'm hoping for that, though it could be longer.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Meh, trying not to think about it I guess.

Anything else you'd like to share?

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) Probably reading minds - not just listening but I think I cue into a lot of non-verbal cues well

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

gardeniagirlknits said:

@hunnybunny17 We are so new to the area, everyone we know is really more of an acquaintance... Awkward for a holiday invite lol!! We are only living here for a little while hubby is on this work project, then we will go back home... So it is especially a nice idea to snowshoe because we won't live near Tahoe forever, may as well take advantage!! What is TDY? Edit to add @

Ah, okay. Yeah, I would definitely do some sight-seeing, get out, and explore then! TDY stands for temporary duty. My husband is active duty military and gets sent on TDYs now and then, normally for training/learning purposes. Some are only a few days, some are months. His current one is for 6 weeks.
@gardeniagirlknits

Skyjewell23 · November 2015

re you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Just biding my time until we can start TTC. Summer 2016 allows for there to be a bit more of an age gap between our children, plus school and work wise I would be much better off.

How long do you think you will be here? July 2016, potentially June 2016

How has being benched/TTA been going? It;s really no fun, but honestly DH and I have been arguing a bit more here lately so It's probably best that we have a few more months to work out our kinks before we jump ship into another pregnancy.

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm happy to be back on the bump

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? I suppose mine would have to be being able to morph onto someone else? I'm really good at seeing the other side of things (social worker). I guess I would be good at reading minds too, I can also turning anything into a positive. Can I have a combination of body morphing, mind reading, and fling (just cause I want it)?

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

@hunnybunny17 yes that would certainly make ttc a little tricky at this time

I'm glad he will be home soon!! My Hubs travels for work sometimes ... But never for that amount of time, yet, although it's a possibility in the future.

I'm thankful for the benched thread... Makes me feel not so out of the loop!

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

@Bethechange23 There's no right answer so you can be whatever you want! I've been watching Heroes and so I was curious what other people think they already have as a strength vs. something they want.

gardeniagirlknits said:

@hunnybunny17 yes that would certainly make ttc a little tricky at this time I'm glad he will be home soon!! My Hubs travels for work sometimes ... But never for that amount of time, yet, although it's a possibility in the future. I'm thankful for the benched thread... Makes me feel not so out of the loop!

Yes it does! haha. This- the bolded. This is what I like about this thread and hopefully we can all find some support in the process, knowing we're not alone waiting.
@gardeniagirlknits

JamieK1882 · November 2015

I posted in the TWW thread, but prob should be posting here. We're NTNP, but truly don't have plans to start really trying until May, mainly due to age gap reasons with our current LO. Might be TMI, but we don't DTD often (sporadically here and there) unless really trying. After our LO was born I never went back on BC. Turns out this month we HIO on CD14, which I know can mean absolutely nothing, but secretly I'm kinda hoping it did. If it didn't, then I'll be posting back in this thread till later spring and lurking on the other ones!

Tippy05 · November 2015

**recent loss mentioned**

Are you benched or TTA? Both (?)

What brings you here? Recent MMC, waiting for CD1 before trying again.

How long do you think you will be here? Until my next CD1, which hopefully is in a month or so

How has being benched/TTA been going? it sucks, but trying not to think too much about it

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm just now re-posting on this board after a recent MMC and it's been hard, but I will say I love and missed the snark and awesome GIFs here that aren't/weren't on the BMB. You ladies rock!

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener). This is hard, I don't feel like I have any great abilities - I suppose I'm pretty good at thinking ahead and planning so maybe the ability to be super fast, like the flash. Whatever I'm thinking about or needs to be done can just be done now, in an instant! It would make chores and housecleaning so much easier!

*edit because I can't read

m6agua · November 2015

I am so thankful for this thread. I was here just a few months ago and we didn't have this.

@benicode & @Tippy05 you women are amazing! I just went through a MC as well.

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Blighted Ovum/MC

How long do you think you will be here? The OB said we could try after my first AF, my PCP (who I had been seeing) said emotionally I may need a couple cycles so I guess we will see how I feel.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Well it just started so I figure I have 4-6 weeks until I get my first AF. I am not sure how ready I am for sex. A lot of stuff just went on down there and I don't want things to be painful.

Anything else you'd like to share? Just thank you ladies for everything.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) I'm good at giving advice to friends so maybe see into the future.

RunBooRun · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Starting a new job Nov 30th. Need to wait at least 3 months for FMLA coverage. Also planning to start house hunting in Feb, so may wait until we've settled into new digs.

How long do you think you will be here? IDK, maybe 3 months, maybe 6 months

How has being benched/TTA been going? We've never TTC, but I've been ready for a year. DH hasn't been, but is now starting to since our finances are in better shape now.

Anything else you'd like to share? I start a new job Nov 30th!! It's a great opportunity and is in the same town where we live, so no more commuting.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? Mine would be similar to Karl Pilkington's Bullshit Man. I can usually pick up immediately when someone is manipulating me or lying.

edit: bolded my answers

Jen080916 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? TTA due to my brother's wedding across the country in July. My two kids are the ring bearer/flower girl, and I am my brother's "best man" lol. I absolutely cannot let myself get pregnant this month especially due to travel restrictions (I would either be right at my due date or I'd have a week old baby traveling 4 days in a car.. nope!) Hoping to start ttc in January!

What brings you here? Information!

How long do you think you will be here? Another month or two

How has being benched/TTA been going? Fine. Getting used to temping and figuring out my cycle before I ttc.

Anything else you'd like to share? Not really

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) I'm super efficient, so I guess that it super powered it would be to move at super speed? Idk...interesting question!

MissAmeliaPond · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? I feel benched by life, but technically TTA

What brings you here? Don't make me talk about my pending lay-off from my job again... :-<

How long do you think you will be here? As long as it takes to figure out my job situation

How has being benched/TTA been going? Not great. I went away this weekend to visit my best friend and didn't temp or Bump and it was great. I think I'm going to be taking a break from TB during the week from now on, and just come on to add to this thread until we can TTC again. I think reading through the TTGP forum makes me feel too anxious/sad that we can't try right now.

Anything else you'd like to share? Life just seems to be getting more complicated lately, and I really have no idea when we will actually be able to try again.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) I would really like to be able to get anyone and everyone to give me discounts on big purchases. Not like standard retail things, but things like furniture, appliances, installation services, etc. That would be awesome!

mommytimesfour · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? We had agreed on January for beginning to TTC earlier this year. It also gives us the age gap between our children that we want.

How long do you think you will be here? Only one more cycle..eek!

How has being benched/TTA been going? Im not so anxious and impatient since we're getting so close to TTC. There's finally an end in sight and I'm really excited.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? I'm good at reading people's feelings and emotions, so I'd say a mind reader.

LizaKate1213 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Sort of both, probably more TTA

What brings you here? Wedding August 6th for my cousin, my son is the ring bearer and it is out of state 4 hours away

How long do you think you will be here? AF is due any minute. Trying to decide if I want to stay 1 more cycle or just say screw it and jump back into the game.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Eh. It is frustrating. I had awesome EWCM this cycle, hated wasting it. Also, ex-best friend just notified me that she's 8 weeks into her 2nd accidental pregnancy. She knows we have been trying so I felt like she was really trying to slap me in the face with it.

Anything else you'd like to share? Sorry I haven't been around. We got a fur baby to distract me and she is keeping me ridiculously busy.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) I am a nurse so healing powers would be so amazing

benicode · November 2015

@ashbear720 So sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Hang in there!

@m6agua @Tippy05 Sorry to see you're back over here as well. I agree it's a nice thing to have this thread for us SS

brambles1 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Both?

What brings you here? My dad just got diagnosed with colon cancer and my family has been completely thrown for a loop. He had surgery last week and all of his scans pointed to his cancer being contained to his small intestine/colon. However, during surgery his doctors found tumors throughout his abdomen; they are saying he has Stage 4B colon cancer. My family is trying to take things one day at a time.

How long do you think you will be here? IDK. As much as I don't want to think about TTC, now that I know what my dad is facing I want to get pregnant that much more because I want to ensure that my dad will get a chance to meet his grandchild.

How has being benched/TTA been going? The reason I've been benched is harder for me than actually being benched.

Anything else you'd like to share? Please please please get screened for colon cancer or have your loved ones get screened. Colon cancer is the third most common cancer in men and women and if it is caught early has a very high survival rate. Men and women should get a colonoscopy at age 50 (45 for African American men and women; even younger if you have a family history of colon cancer) and then every 5-10 years. A colonoscopy may not sound appealing but it beats surgery, chemo, radiation, and potentially losing your life. Okay, I am going to get off my soap box now.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) I'm a planner and a little bit of a worrier so I'd love to be able to see into the future so that I could see what the outcome of my actions would be and relax a little.

benicode · November 2015

@brambles1 so sorry for your news. Keeping your family in my thoughts

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

@hunnybunny17 had to update ya... Picked a snowshoe trail and a "crock pot thanksgiving" recipe that will be ready for us when we get home from the cold. thanks for the nudge

@brambles1 I am so sorry about your dad. Truly. Good for you on getting the warning word out there... That was the only kind of power I could feel when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer... Just educating people about being diligent in checking for early signs. I am so sorry cancer is affecting your life. It's a bitch.

I will add your family to my prayers.

MoonPie701 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Benched.

What brings you here? I had a D&C October 22nd at 8 weeks. My doctor did genetic testing because he was worried about molar cells. Thankfully it was not molar, testing came back as a chromosomally normal baby girl.

How long do you think you will be here? Hopefully just for a few more weeks. I'm charting just to get back on track and I think I've ovulated, but my temps aren't showing it just yet. If I increase my temp from this morning .1 it gives me solid cross hairs.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Being benched has been fine, but emotionally I'm still going through a lot. I didn't think I wanted to know if the baby was a boy or a girl, but my doctor spilled the beans really quickly into the phone conversation, so I didn't have a chance to say otherwise. I'm ok with knowing now, I know I would have always wondered and most people with early losses never have the chance to find out. I feel like I started the mourning process all over after I found out (it was 2 weeks post D&C and I already knew I the pregnancy was not viable 1 week before).

Anything else you'd like to share? I've been testing out the hcg in my system with pregnancy tests, I go back for a blood test on the 18th. Today I got the squintiest positive that I've ever seen and it wasn't there until after the time limit. So I think it's safe to say that my hcg is very very low and should be gone by the 18th.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? Maybe super speed, because I'm good at multitasking.

MoonPie701 · November 2015

@gardeniagirlknits - I hope you get good results soon, that is a lot to go through.

@benicode @tippy05 @m6agua - So sorry for your losses.

@brambles1 - Sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he gets good results soon.

hunnybunny17 · November 2015

@brambles1 I'm so sorry. Colon cancer sucks

Huge hugs.

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

Thanks @MoonPie701 I just got my blood drawn... Fx!

There is a lot of strength on this board... So sorry for the losses.. I cannot imagine. Reading about it makes me tear up. I hope that peace finds all of you.

izza2 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? TTA as of this morning.

What brings you here? School. We're trying for a summer baby so that any EDD I get won't be while I'm in classes.

How long do you think you will be here? 9 months or so!

How has being benched/TTA been going? It's only been a day, so.. so far I'm just waiting for tomorrow so I can call my OB and get put on BC. Hubby doesn't want to TTA with temping/cycle-tracking, since my cycles haven't been regular.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nada.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) Good question. I have no idea!

Sugargirl1019 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA: TTA

What brings you here? DH would like me to get off BC pills in March, when our school loans are paid off. So for now I dream

How long do you think you will be here?: about 4 months

How has being benched/TTA been going for you? - I'm a little bit afflicted with baby fever and wanting to practice charting and temping and seeing real trends. But being on the pill prevents studying CM and such.. I just want to know so much about my body but DH isn't comfortable with me going off BC now. So I'll just go crazy over prenatals and tracking apps.

Anything else you'd like to share? No

QOTW: If one strong ability you have could be super-powered, what would it be? Probably being able to give peace in a stressful situation.

ajn092 · November 2015

Welp, I guess I go here now

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Both my husband and I are being laid off within the next 6 months. My time is in April (but we knew and decided to keep trying) and we just found out he's being let go in 3 weeks. We are both heartbroken and still in shock about his job.

How long do you think you will be here? Unknown. It depends on how quickly we can both find something and where we end up.

How has being benched/TTA been going? Not good. Lots of tears.

Anything else you'd like to share? Not really. It's helpful being able to come here to know I'm not alone.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? Hmmm...that's a tough one. Probably the

brambles1 · November 2015

@benicode @m6agua @Tippy05 @MoonPie701 I am so sorry for all of your losses. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I'm keeping you ladies in my thoughts. FX your involvement with this thread and stay on the TTGP board will be short.

@gardeniagirlknits Thank you for the prayers and kind words. Cancer sucks. I'm sorry you had to go through it too. I had an ovarian cystectomy back in August myself. It takes a while to bounce back after that surgery both physically and in terms of your cycle getting back on track. Also, don't be a hero: rest up, let your DH baby you, take your pain meds as long as you have them, and remember that your heating pad is your friend. I hope you get better soon.

princesslockness · November 2015

@benicode @m6agua @Tippy05 @MoonPie701 Sorry for your losses. I hope that you have sticky babies when you try again.

@brambles1 @gardeniagirlknits, Cancer sucks, but I am happy that you are hopefully free of it.

Are you benched or TTA? Both

What brings you here? Information, I started out on my BMB last year pretty stupid, and wish to correct that.

How long do you think you will be here? Several months. we want to shoot for a April-July EDD.

How has being benched/TTA been going? So far its going well, but I am learning I have some serious holes in my education.

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm new, and haven't intro'd yet. I will get to that probably tonight.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener), As a teacher I feel like I am a fairly strong communicator, so I would wish that my communication/articulation skills could be passed around my classroom some days.

tinypikachu · November 2015

*Loss mentioned*

Are you benched or TTA? Benched, still waiting for first AF post MC

What brings you here? DH and I suffered a MC on Nov 5, we were 6w along when we miscarried but knew at 5.5 weeks

How long do you think you will be here? We've talked about it and neither of us is ready to start TTC right away. We'll TTA next month and NTNP in January, and get back fully into TTC in February

How has being benched/TTA been going? It's good so far, it's just what we need. Our loss is so fresh that we both need some time to go back to baby-making.

Anything else you'd like to share? So far not much... DH and I have both been on the same page as far as when we want to TTC but I hope he doesn't back down come February... We're both scared of this happening again....

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? I've always been a go-to for advice among my friends whenever they have issues of any kind. I would love to have a sort of healing super power where I could heal people when they're going through tough times but also physical ailments... I'm a helper!

MissAmeliaPond · November 2015

@izza2 sorry you had to come to the benched/TTA group.

Oh no, @AmyNinSD I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's job, too. We've also hit some turbulence with my DH's job in addition to my lay off. We are looking at a 50/50 chance of having to move across the country and sell our house and upset our entire lives... I'm praying that things will work out and we won't have to move. We're facing so much uncertainty right now. It sucks. Hugs to you - I hope you both find something new soon!

ETA: @AlwaysAuntNeverMom I want to say again how sorry I am for your loss. I am glad you and your DH are taking the time you need before TTC again.

penelope4612 · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? I had an ectopic pregnancy in Sept and am benched for 3 months after receiving methotrexate

How long do you think you will be here? 1.5 more months

How has being benched/TTA been going? It was actually improving. My mood was better after going to a conference, where I enjoyed going out and drinking with friends and was happy to do something fun that I couldn't have done while pregnant. But then my DH told me yesterday that he still feels sad when he finds out someone is pregnant or he sees a new baby on FB. Then he asked me if we should put off looking for a house since we don't know when we'll actually need the extra space. Now I feel bad again.

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm thinking of all of you! So sorry for all the miserable reasons that seem to have brought everyone here.

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener)

I feel like I'm good at staying calm when things are stressful/chaotic, so maybe I could be like Mr. Freeze and freeze other people? I don't know if that makes sense....

ajn092 · November 2015

@ashbear720 thank you for the kind words. And I'm sorry to hear about your hubs too. I'll be praying for you both that you don't end up having to go through the sale and move. The uncertainty is the hardest part. I feel like we have a plan for if we are both unemployed at the same time or have to take significantly lower paying jobs. But our plan (like yours with having to move across the country) scares me and makes me sad. I hope things work out for you and your DH with jobs, that you can stay at your home, and that you'll be back to TTC once things have settled down

tinypikachu · November 2015

Thank you for the thoughts @ashbear720. It is the best choice for us, we just need time. You never prepare for a loss and all we did was dream about the baby we thought we'd have so it's a little hard to think about baby-making right now. We talked about trying right away but I was glad to find we both felt the same way; everyone's different.

gardeniagirlknits · November 2015

@AlwaysAuntNeverMom I am so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to this board and I hope you'll find the support you need. I can't imagine.

@ashbear720 @AmyNinSD I've had to move twice across country for hubby's job and I'm not going to lie.. It is tough. But... We learned to look at it as 'an adventure' and that seemed to help tremendously. my heart goes out to you and I hope that your new chapter brings adventure and joys you never would have experienced otherwise... Whether in the same place or not. Ours did, and I think more so bc we remained open too it. Side Story... We were ttc DURING our latest cross country move. can I just say that temping while doing that is POINTLESS... And trying to sex when all you can think about is where hell your coffee maker is/what box, is just no fun. Never. Again.

@brambles1 yes, the cystectomy was much harder than I thought. Because I was still post op one month from a thyroidectomy, I went into it much too relaxed... Thinking that nothing could have been worse than the thyroid removal. Much "simpler" in terms of surgical process, such "lower risk", much "shorter" Surgery, "less" recovery time.... I thought "no problem, I've beat cancer, I can do anything....." fast forward an hour: nope. That shit hurt. Was. Not. Prepared.
Also, unrelated/random topic change... how has your dad and family been holding up? Any news?

And may I repeat.... There is some INCREDIBLE strength on this thread. Keeping all of you in my thoughts.

MissAmeliaPond · November 2015

@gardeniagirlknits thanks for sharing your moving experience. We will do it if we have to, but of course it's not preferable. Also, I am so sorry you've been dealing with cancer, and hope you get the all clear from your doctor soon. But I saw that you mentioned it might be painful to start trying again- I hope you will be kind to yourself and take enough time to heal and feel better!

MRSCORKER · November 2015

Are you benched or TTA? Maybe TTA, maybe NTNP... I can't decide.

What brings you here? So, I started a thread almost a week ago requesting advice (and have gotten some AMAZING advice/support from you ladies!) In a nutshell, I left a really cushy job to pursue a career that was more in line with the field I am educated in. I was told I would have to start as an independent contractor (no benefits at all) but that it would become a salaried/full benefits position within the fiscal year. Last week I was told that it's just not going to happen, there is no room in the budget. Around the same time, my old company reached out to see if I would be interested in a new position there. Now, it looks like I'm heading back but I will not retain my tenure so I'll need to wait a full 12 months before requesting FMLA. That means, if I want to take an extra 6 weeks of maternity, I can't really get KU until February at the earliest. I can't really imagine going back to work with a 6 week old, that seems insane.

How long do you think you will be here? Hopefully only 2 months or so.

How has being benched/TTA been going? I'm having a hard time deciding if I want to NTNP and risk it or TTA until February. If it takes a healthy couple up to a year, I don't really want that year to start 2-3 months from now.

Anything else you'd like to share? What do you ladies think? NTNP or TTA?

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener) Hmmm.... I think it would be my intuition. I don't really miss anything, I think it's a virgo thing. If that were to manifest as a super-power, I think it would be something like, seeing the future.

Xstatic3333 · November 2015

Sending love to all of you ladies facing job challenges, health challenges, and losses. Hope your stay on this thread is short and sweet once you feel ready to leave.

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? A few practical life reasons (job stuff, a wedding, and a little medical debt to get rid of) make waiting until March to start the right choice for us. Until then we are using temping as part of our TTA strategy and I've learned a lot from this board.

How long do you think you will be here? Pretty set on starting TTC in March.

How has being benched/TTA been going? I go back forth between being really anxious to get started and being at peace with our timeline. This month in particular is the month where conception would almost certainly lead to missing my closest friend's wedding. I know that nobody should feel forced to put off TTC for a wedding, but in my case waiting is worth it to me so this month hasn't been too bad. She's like a sister to me (I'm an only) and will probably be the only wedding I ever get to stand up for besides my own.

Anything else you'd like to share?

QOTW: If one strong ability that you have could be super-powered, what would it be? (i.e., read minds if you're a good listener I think my strongest ability is probably organizing people and events, and if that could just happen with a click of my fingers that would be awesome

brambles1 · November 2015

@gardeniagirlknits My dad just got discharged from the hospital today. He met with his oncologist before he left to go over what the next steps will be and I think the reality of what he is facing finally hit him. After the oncologist left he started to cry, told my mom his career was over (my dad is a cop), and started to rattle off the names of other cops he'd have to give his gear to. I feel like he is already giving up. I know that part of it is a knee jerk reaction and the other part is fear of what's to come but it breaks my heart to see my dad hurting so much. I'm spending the weekend at my parents' house and I'm trying to come up with things I can do with my dad to cheer him up.

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Benched/TTA Weekly Check-in 11/8

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