Taking back shower gifts

spatterson61310 · November 2015

I had a shower over the weekend and was blessed with lots of stuff. However, no one actually bought anything that I registered for aside from a few close friends (just a few small items). My question is would you take back the items and exchange them for the ones you actually registered for. And if so, would you tell the people that gave the gift you are doing so or just not say anything. I had some friends give me a nice bassinet but it isn't exactly our style (very frilly and over the top). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but that is the whole reason of having a registry so people know what to you want, right? Then no one uses it, even close family members. Thanks for your imput!

Leah6120 · November 2015

I would return what you don't need for what you do. There's no reason to tell everyone that. I think most people who don't go by your registry kindof assume a chance of that happening. Ultimately you have to get the necessities. Now with the bassinet that's totally your call. I will say we were given one that's been in my family for like 75 years. It's def not what we would have bought ourselves but the sentiment was important to my family and for the 3 months she'll use it I can deal. We just ordered a different skirt for it that was more simple.

maureenmce · November 2015

I don't think there's anything wrong with returning things to get what you need. I think people expect that to a certain degree with baby stuff (they grow so fast, different babies like different things, etc.) Just make a note of what everyone bought so you can thank them specifically for their gift in their thank you note, but otherwise go for it!

nlwz123 · November 2015

If you don't want the items, I'd definitely return them and get the things you do want/need. I would not let the people know this (I think that'd be a little tacky). The bassinet is a little trickier because I guess it depends on whether or not they come to your house often. BUT, it's your house, your baby, and if you don't want it, then just go ahead and exchange it. If they ever ask why, you can always make a BS excuse like "it was a little big for the space we have" or something.

abbiemae98 · November 2015

I just had a baby shower this past weekend. One of my friends who came had a baby a few weeks ago and I attended her shower a few months ago....she have me an outfit....the same one I gave her...so if you ever re-gift just keep track of who gave you what!! I didn't say anything because I knew her and her husband are just starting out and didn't have much money.

Blueyedsky · November 2015

@abbiemae98 that's so sad! How embarrassing lol. That's a good reminder.

kodariah · November 2015

I returned kind of alot of stuff from my shower. Clothes I got multiples of in the same size, a pack and play I didn't like the color of, some crib bedding that was cute but not the one I wanted. I just made sure to write down what every one got for my little guy and thank them for it with thank you cards

If the role was reversed and I gave someone a shower gift I would rather have them exchange it and get what they really wanted rather then keeping it because it was a gift. I would want the money I spent to go towards something they really wanted...

rozie34685 · November 2015

I've exchanged a few items I got, I also got so many gifts that were not on my registry. You could always tell friends that you got similar gifts from close family and that you did exchange some of the gifts you got for necessities.

mamakate1616 · November 2015

Absolutely! Mine was this weekend too and barely got things from the registry, will need changing what I can to swap for the bigger items we still need. Definitely had someone regift me some clothes... Newborn sized summer clothes. Nope

Kelley421 · November 2015

Definitely don't let them know you returned.
I had absolutely no need for 30 bath towels, 17 blankets and 25 newborn sleepers. (Just a few examples)
My returns gift card balance at Target alone is $550 and at this point we don't need anything. This will go towards baby clothes and needs over the next...year?

scornwell717 · November 2015

Yeah, I'm gonna have to return a lot of stuff I got multiples of. The guests at your shower most likely noticed if their gift was a repeat (if you opened in front of everyone) so I'm sure they already expect it! Let's be real, my baby doesn't need 12 pacifiers and 20 hats! I barely got any diapers, so I plan on exchanging some stuff for that

I'm sure they'd rather their money go to good use!

ChrissyD1203 · November 2015

I got a lot of multiples of things on my registry (I guess not everyone understands how the registry works). We were fortunate in that my in-laws bought all of our big ticket items and our friends were really generous, so I decided instead of returning the stuff I got in multiples or just don't want I'm going to donate it. Everyone was so kind and generous with us, I feel like it would be nice to be generous to others. This whole baby thing is so expensive I cannot imagine how stressful it would be to do on a single or limited income. So I guess what I'm saying is- don't forget donation is an option too!

mullenixj · November 2015

I am running into the same issue after my shower this weekend. The stuff that was off the registry didn't have a gift receipt, so I don't even know where it was purchased without asking the person.

Jessdub10 · November 2015

I'm also wondering how it may be possible to return/exchange items without a gift receipt. Anyone have any luck?

laur0n · November 2015

Nothing wrong with returns in my book. I've already been told by a few people that some stuff WILL get returned or exchanged. (Besides, unless you have an amazing memory, you're probably not going to remember what each person got you lol..) With clothes just because not everything will get worn. My husband planned on only using Luvs diapers then we got two packs of Huggies so he said well, since I have no known allergies, we'll try the Huggies and if little man takes to them ok then we'll use them until they're gone and then go to Luvs.
I didn't get a whole lot that I registered for and it's mostly because people don't spell my name right so they couldn't find my registry. Hopefully for my next shower (yes, I'm having two -- family issues) people will spell my name right. We actually had to exchange one of our bigger items because a girl version was purchased and we're having a boy lol

laur0n · November 2015

I was also told that if someone would ask if I've gotten to use their gift or if little man has gotten to wear the outfit from them, ask what it was for a memory refresher and if it was a multiple, just say yes it got used ..or nope, haven't gotten to it yet but plan to.

stephanienjer · November 2015

It felt like nobody even LOOKED at our registry. The biggest gift blunder was that someone just bought us a car seat--without looking to see if we had chosen a different one. That's such a personal choice--we chose one with a similar safety rating, but it was included in the travel system we wanted. I originally planned to return it, (there was a Walmart sticker on it) but instead, we gave it to my in-laws. That way, we don't have to shuffle a car seat and base back and forth to cars.

If it's not from your parents, and they intend to help out, that's a good way to distribute gifts that--while useful--aren't really for you.

JanMommy2under2 · November 2015

For my registry/shower with my first if I got multiples or items not on registry I searched for it on targets website, if it was there I added it to my registry, then added it as purchased and I was able to return without a receipt no problem.

Kelley421 · November 2015

For every shower I've been to, there is someone writing down who gave which gift so that you can send a personal thank you. That's the norm for "around here".
My MIL did all my returns since I am not capable. I have her my registry info and Target will allow returns on anything sold at target, at full price as long as you use the registry to return. Even items that were not on my list.
Fortunately most of the returns came from target, walmart or amazon.
There are a few things that came from department stores that she tried to return, but they were so deeply discounted it wasn't worth it.
Donation or re-gifting would be best for things like that.

Wicked4589 · November 2015

I returned a lot. Duplicates from my family shower then from my ILs shower only one person bought off our registry. I now have a kohls gift card I will never use and credit at dollar tree. I feel bad that people wasted their money but I didn't need 15 blankets.

CharminglySouthern · November 2015

Lurking...but I just don't understand the mentality that only gifts off the registry are acceptable.

ccoleeman · November 2015

(Insert pot-stirring gif here)

Kelley421 · November 2015

I don't see a mentality that registry only items are acceptable.
I didn't bother registering for blankets, towels, or clothing. People love to give these things!
And because it's such fun to shop for baby clothes and cute items- there ends up being an excess that can be returned for the needed items.
My favorite gifts were the personal ones that my sisters and friends put thought into. Those surely weren't on the registry.
I also do not see giving a gift that you may have too many of as "wasting their money". You return it and get good use of that money buying something else baby needs.

ambercakes92 · November 2015

CharminglySouthern said:
Lurking...but I just don't understand the mentality that only gifts off the registry are acceptable.

It's not that the gifts are necessarily unacceptable -- they just might not be useful. I put things on my registry after a lot of research and thought. And based on what I actually need, not just want because I am on a budget. I think when people disregard the registry, they understand the chance of their gift being returned for something the parents actually NEED and put their research into.

stephanienjer · November 2015

CharminglySouthern said:

Lurking...but I just don't understand the mentality that only gifts off the registry are acceptable.

I don't think it's about registry-only items being acceptable, but those that are real choices are kind of different. We had someone try to gift us a co-sleeper, but we don't intend to co-sleep. That, to me, is a non-useful item.

About 90% of our shower gifts were not listed on the registry, and for most of those items, we were fine with that. We kept almost everything. If you're not going to use something because of an alternative parenting choice, though, it does no good for the item to collect dust in a closet.

Krisdee123 · November 2015

ccoleeman said:
(Insert pot-stirring gif here)

(Insert little ROFL dude emoji)

CharminglySouthern · November 2015

stephanienjer said:
It felt like nobody even LOOKED at our registry. The biggest gift blunder was that someone just bought us a car seat--without looking to see if we had chosen a different one. That's such a personal choice--we chose one with a similar safety rating, but it was included in the travel system we wanted. I originally planned to return it, (there was a Walmart sticker on it) but instead, we gave it to my in-laws. That way, we don't have to shuffle a car seat and base back and forth to cars.
If it's not from your parents, and they intend to help out, that's a good way to distribute gifts that--while useful--aren't really for you.

Case in point.

Also, I'd just like to point out that I attended a baby shower this weekend. When I went to shop for it at BBB, half the stuff on the registry wasn't available in-store and the majority of the other half wasn't in stock. As a shopper, it's extremely frustrating. I literally spent 30 minutes waiting for am associate to find the right A+A blankets, which she never did. I had to settle for the closest thing to what my friend registered for.

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way that someone would complain about a pretty generous gift.

willashbaby · November 2015

CharminglySouthern said:

It felt like nobody even LOOKED at our registry. The biggest gift blunder was that someone just bought us a car seat--without looking to see if we had chosen a different one. That's such a personal choice--we chose one with a similar safety rating, but it was included in the travel system we wanted. I originally planned to return it, (there was a Walmart sticker on it) but instead, we gave it to my in-laws. That way, we don't have to shuffle a car seat and base back and forth to cars.
If it's not from your parents, and they intend to help out, that's a good way to distribute gifts that--while useful--aren't really for you.
Case in point. Also, I'd just like to point out that I attended a baby shower this weekend. When I went to shop for it at BBB, half the stuff on the registry wasn't available in-store and the majority of the other half wasn't in stock. As a shopper, it's extremely frustrating. I literally spent 30 minutes waiting for am associate to find the right A+A blankets, which she never did. I had to settle for the closest thing to what my friend registered for. I guess it just rubs me the wrong way that someone would complain about a pretty generous gift.

OK mycousinvinny. Once you give a gift it's given, you don't have a say in what is done with it. Let it go, let it go!

BumpAdmin · November 2015

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