My UO, which I'm curious to know if it's really an UO, is that I can't stand getting my hair cut!! I feel like it's such a crap shoot whether it comes out the way I want and I find the whole process very stressful! My hair isn't even complicated - it's long and straight, some angles in the front and the occasional "long layer". I got my hair cut on Saturday and I HATE the result! All I wanted was an inch and a half off to get rid of the dead crap. FOUR INCHES and some ridiculously "shelf-like" layers later and I was in tears leaving the salon. WTF man?! I think my problem is I always get convinced I need these "long layers" to give my hair more body and 8 times out of 10 these layers end up being 4 inches shorter than the rest of my hair. How is that a "long layer"?!
ALSO I hate how the hairdresser always tries to up-sell me into buying 3-4 $40/each products, getting some conditioning treatment, and adding highlights. I'm an adult, if that's what I want, I'll ask for it. AND every time I go to a different person they always tell me to do the complete opposite of what the last person told me to do. It all seems like such a huge scam to me.
A lot of this is probably my fault for not investing the money in a top-notch salon and having a regular stylist. But like I said, my hair is so straightforward and I never want anything drastic done to it so it's hard to rationalize spending over $50 on a hair cut. All I can say now is thank god for prenatal vitamins that make your hair grow faster!!
@spatter1 I can explain exactly why the long layers end up being 4". Using the terminology "long" in reference to layers means the length between the shortest piece and longest piece is LONG...actually meaning a whole lot more layers happening. So it sounds like what you really want is "short layers"!
@spatter1 I hate getting my hair cut because I feel like it's a waste of money. My hair is nearly always in a bun and I can't justify the $40-$70 it costs to cut off the dead ends just to have it look good for 3 or 4 hair-down occasions. And I agree, at least half of the time I hate it until it grows out for a few weeks.
My UO, which I'm curious to know if it's really an UO, is that I can't stand getting my hair cut!! I feel like it's such a crap shoot whether it comes out the way I want and I find the whole process very stressful! My hair isn't even complicated - it's long and straight, some angles in the front and the occasional "long layer". I got my hair cut on Saturday and I HATE the result! All I wanted was an inch and a half off to get rid of the dead crap. FOUR INCHES and some ridiculously "shelf-like" layers later and I was in tears leaving the salon. WTF man?! I think my problem is I always get convinced I need these "long layers" to give my hair more body and 8 times out of 10 these layers end up being 4 inches shorter than the rest of my hair. How is that a "long layer"?!
ALSO I hate how the hairdresser always tries to up-sell me into buying 3-4 $40/each products, getting some conditioning treatment, and adding highlights. I'm an adult, if that's what I want, I'll ask for it. AND every time I go to a different person they always tell me to do the complete opposite of what the last person told me to do. It all seems like such a huge scam to me.
A lot of this is probably my fault for not investing the money in a top-notch salon and having a regular stylist. But like I said, my hair is so straightforward and I never want anything drastic done to it so it's hard to rationalize spending over $50 on a hair cut. All I can say now is thank god for prenatal vitamins that make your hair grow faster!!
I've had the same stylist for 4 years and can honest say I've never left unhappy . I used to hop around different places too but soon as I started going to a nice place and stuck with the same stylist I don't have to worry anymore . It's worth the little bit extra to walk out happy vs leaving unhappy because like you I feel like I waisted so much $ on cuts and colors I hated .
I can't stand the words "snark" or "snarky." Seriously annoys the crap of me. Thankfully, I rarely (if ever) hear those words in real life but have to endure them almost daily on here. Ugh!
I actually like how sore I feel after a good workout at the gym because it actually makes me feel like I've accomplished something.
(However, given that Tuesday and yesterday were my first days back since late August due to nausea, this soreness is WAY more exacerbated then normal and I am having trouble even sitting down on the toilet easily...yikes!)
Also, I have had the same stylist for about 3 years...but have only gone to her MAYBE 6 times? That's how infrequently I get my hair cut, especially considering 2 of those times were for a conditioning treatment and once was for ombre. And its under $50 for a cut and style. Also...they give you free wine when you're there :-D I used to be a Hair Cuttery girl (because that's where my mom always took me and, again, the infrequencies of hair cuts)...but then, wine :-P
@spatter1 I feel you on the hair cut issue. I get mine cut ever 2 years...I cut enough off to donate, then let it grow. If I want to color it, I pick a box from the store. If I want my swoopy bang things shorter, I snip them myself. I tried the Chip-Clip trick a couple years ago to get layers on my own and it was pretty successful. But I have straight, thin hair. No body, no curls...NOTHING. I literally run my fingers through it when I get out of the shower and go about my business. I struggle to pay top dollar for anything, but I am a self-proclaimed cheapskate. No shame!
I don't understand what's so great about Nutella. I have tried it once and I think it's pretty gross.... However I DO love trader joes cookie butter
Ugh! I hate all things hazelnut and Nutella is the worst!! Bleh!
My UO for today: I don't miss coffee... I religiously had a cup a day before TTC... and gradually cut back before our BFP because I would legit get a headache if I didn't have my one stinking cup, but knew it wasn't something I wanted to drink while pregnant... but now... I can honestly say I don't miss it.
I don't understand what's so great about Nutella. I have tried it once and I think it's pretty gross.... However I DO love trader joes cookie butter
I thought we were friends....but YOU DON'T LIKE NUTELLA?!?
Not a fan of hazelnut I've mentioned in previous UO I strongly dislike brownies and chocolate as well. Must be something wrong with me
I dislike Nutella and chocolate in general as well, unless it's chocolate ice cream (which ironically is my favourite!)
I like chocolate but DH is obsessed. Pregnancy has turned me off of all things sweet, but I still have it once in a while. And I HATE chocolate ice cream unless it has chunks of brownies or cookies in it. Vanilla all the way!
I don't understand what's so great about Nutella. I have tried it once and I think it's pretty gross.... However I DO love trader joes cookie butter
Ugh! I hate all things hazelnut and Nutella is the worst!! Bleh!
My UO for today: I don't miss coffee... I religiously had a cup a day before TTC... and gradually cut back before our BFP because I would legit get a headache if I didn't have my one stinking cup, but knew it wasn't something I wanted to drink while pregnant... but now... I can honestly say I don't miss it.
I never stopped drinking coffee. lol I have cut back a great deal on sodas and sweet tea though.
My UO for today is I hate when pregnant women that smoke feel the need to tell other fellow pregnant ladies on a FB page I follow that the flu shot is bad for us and the baby? Because what you're doing is SO much better? That's all I have to say for today.
1) I don't view it as a way of "celebrating our baby's genitals." We both come from larger families who have been very supportive of our journey and we want to share a special moment with them. After which we will announce our baby name.
The BF and I are making snacks and favors for our guests. So for us it's kind of a "Thank You" party for our supporters.
2) This is a milestone. I have successfully carried my tiny human approximately halfway to birth. That is something to celebrate! I also am never guaranteed to reach this moment with another child.
As for the "frivolous" argument I've seen on some boards, in total we have spent less than 90$ on everything.
Honestly, I think everyone should celebrate their lives how they want. There is so much mommy shaming, pregnancy included. I totally understand not wanting to do certain things (gender reveals, baby announcement, etc). However, I don't get making someone else feel bad for being excited about those things. Not just on the boards, but in real life as well.
My UO is I think gender reveals are great.
Maybe it's the way I look at it:
1) I don't view it as a way of "celebrating our baby's genitals." We both come from larger families who have been very supportive of our journey and we want to share a special moment with them. After which we will announce our baby name.
The BF and I are making snacks and favors for our guests. So for us it's kind of a "Thank You" party for our supporters.
2) This is a milestone. I have successfully carried my tiny human approximately halfway to birth. That is something to celebrate! I also am never guaranteed to reach this moment with another child.
As for the "frivolous" argument I've seen on some boards, in total we have spent less than 90$ on everything.
Honestly, I think everyone should celebrate their lives how they want. There is so much mommy shaming, pregnancy included. I totally understand not wanting to do certain things (gender reveals, baby announcement, etc). However, I don't get making someone else feel bad for being excited about those things. Not just on the boards, but in real life as well.
I personally find them kind of ridiculous, but I will say that the constant argument about "knowing how your baby will pee" or "celebrating their genitals" is just ridiculous. I do think people should realize it is about more than that.
I actually like how sore I feel after a good workout at the gym because it actually makes me feel like I've accomplished something.
(However, given that Tuesday and yesterday were my first days back since late August due to nausea, this soreness is WAY more exacerbated then normal and I am having trouble even sitting down on the toilet easily...yikes!)
I can't stand the words "snark" or "snarky." Seriously annoys the crap of me. Thankfully, I rarely (if ever) hear those words in real life but have to endure them almost daily on here. Ugh!
Lol this is probably me about 75% of the time. I use "snarky" to replace "bitchy" because I've been chewed out on other boards for calling women bitches (even if that woman is me)
I don't understand what's so great about Nutella. I have tried it once and I think it's pretty gross.... However I DO love trader joes cookie butter
Ugh! I hate all things hazelnut and Nutella is the worst!! Bleh!
My UO for today: I don't miss coffee... I religiously had a cup a day before TTC... and gradually cut back before our BFP because I would legit get a headache if I didn't have my one stinking cup, but knew it wasn't something I wanted to drink while pregnant... but now... I can honestly say I don't miss it.
EXACTLY what @sarahufl said.. except if someone I really love wanted me there, I would go. It's not mom shaming or anything close to a 'mommy war," I just find them a bit silly/awkward. My POV - they've only been a "thing" for 3-4 years, where did they come from? DS is almost 5 and they did not really exist when I was pregnant with him. I'm waiting for them to phase back out again.
I also eat Nutella with a spoon. Or on top of Costco vanilla ice cream. Last night I did both.
My UO is that I rarely use lotion. I can't use anything scented because it will make me break out in teeny tiny bumps all over the place (never been able to pinpoint the issue). It also seems like a huge waste of time to lotion your entire body every day...
@imrachellea, I felt your pain - last week was my first workout back in 2 months and I had to lower myself onto the toilet gingerly for 2 days straight!
Also, definitely agree on the advice to get a regular stylist. Mine is wonderful, and if I didn't get my hair colored, she would only cost about $65 every 12 weeks, plus tip. With hair color, it's 90-110 every 6 weeks depending on whether I get my hair cut at that appointment or not. And this is a pretty nice salon with wine (or beer, or coffee) and cookies!
1) I don't view it as a way of "celebrating our baby's genitals." We both come from larger families who have been very supportive of our journey and we want to share a special moment with them. After which we will announce our baby name.
The BF and I are making snacks and favors for our guests. So for us it's kind of a "Thank You" party for our supporters.
2) This is a milestone. I have successfully carried my tiny human approximately halfway to birth. That is something to celebrate! I also am never guaranteed to reach this moment with another child.
As for the "frivolous" argument I've seen on some boards, in total we have spent less than 90$ on everything.
Honestly, I think everyone should celebrate their lives how they want. There is so much mommy shaming, pregnancy included. I totally understand not wanting to do certain things (gender reveals, baby announcement, etc). However, I don't get making someone else feel bad for being excited about those things. Not just on the boards, but in real life as well.
The difference for me lies in celebrating with your family vs. drive-byes asking us to look at u/s crotch shots. I personally won't do one because I don't see the point. At most, I might fill some cupcakes with pink or blue cream at the shower. However, I don't want to tell people simply because I don't want a ton of clothes that baby will never even wear; plus, I'm not about pink frills for little girls and trucks/ lil slugger for boys. Also, I'll be the first in my family to find out the sex, so it's not a big deal to them.
If your family is going to be excited, why should I care how you choose to share it with them? Not my time, not my money, not my business.
I truly despise ugg boots. The name says it all... They're just... UGH. uggly uggly ugg boots
They are truly hideous, but I still have 2 pairs b/c they are SO comfortable!!!! Especially for just throwing on to walk the dog. My toes are never cold in the winter!
@spatter1 I can explain exactly why the long layers end up being 4". Using the terminology "long" in reference to layers means the length between the shortest piece and longest piece is LONG...actually meaning a whole lot more layers happening. So it sounds like what you really want is "short layers"!
Omg if this is true I have been mislead my whole life! Ugh. I know I just need to find a stylist and commit to her/him but how do you find the good people?!? And by good people, I mean the people you mentioned that give you wine!!! I'd probably love getting my hair cut if it came with wine Mmmmm I miss wine...!!!!
Is one supposed to bring a gift to a gender reveal party? My SIL had one in July, and I am pretty sure that I was the only person who didn't show up with a gift. I felt like a complete asshole. I guess I am unaware of the ettiquette as far as these parties go. I sent her a book a few days later that I had made because I felt horrible.
@sarahufl , @cmjenkies and @AmadorRose and all of your response are legit. I was on one of the other boards and there were women talking about how the women who said they wanted to have one were terrible moms because they obviously don't know how to set priorities.
None of the things yall said are shaming and are my view "to each their own." I don't think everyone NEEDS to have one.
I totally agree about the drive bys. I have never put my US in front of anyone and asked what they think. My events are literally for people who want to come. I would also never guilt someone into coming if they didn't want to be there.
My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me. Unless your last name is truly grotesque (like, "Hitler" or something) or your relationship with your family of origin is significantly toxic to the point where you're ready to symbolically cut that tie, I just don't understand it at all. For everybody else.... that's your identity, dude; it doesn't go away just because you got hitched!
(For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.)
My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me. Unless your last name is truly grotesque (like, "Hitler" or something) or your relationship with your family of origin is significantly toxic to the point where you're ready to symbolically cut that tie, I just don't understand it at all. For everybody else.... that's your identity, dude; it doesn't go away just because you got hitched!
(For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.)
Huh. I got married the first time at 20, and changed my name. My maiden name is Irish, but when pronounced, can sound hispanic (Miguel), and since I live in AZ it happened constantly. So, I had my ex's last name for over 10 years before I got remarried (didn't change it back at 27 when we split since it was too much of a PITA). I took DH's last name when we got married, partly because it would have been weird to keep my ex's name, and partly because I'd like to have the same last name as our kiddo. I don't even particularly like the last name, but there you have it.
When I got married the first time, I considered hyphenating, but it would have been a serious mouthful at 5 syllables long and lots of consonants. Friends joked that it sounded like I was yelling at them in German when I sounded it out.
I don't really agree that your identity is tied to your maiden name, though.
Agreed. I don't think you are tied to your maidea name. I think it depends on what part of the country you live in. I got married at 22. I was from the Midwest but living on the east coast. I had so many coworkers who were against me changing my last name. In the Midwest no one thinks twice about it. If DH and I divorced I would keep my married last name until I remarried...I am 31 now.
I give a side eye to people who use products like herbalife, isagenix, ect and then chronicle every step on FB. It's one thing if you do this AND workout/change your lifestyle, but if you are just doing the shakes, detoxes I think you are throwing your money away.
To be fair, I think there's a big difference between marriage at 20-22 and marriage at 30 or 35. I might roll my eyes when a 21-year-old bride decides to take her husband's name (after all, there's a reason it's almost always the bride doing it and not the groom), but I don't judge it nearly as harshly as I do the woman my age who's decided to change her name.
Generally in your early twenties you're still building an identity (here defined as "The Face You Present To The World," not "The Person You Understand Yourself To Be")... the most ambitious young twenty-somethings are picking a career path and just getting started, and are just beginning to build their adult lives; the face they'll present to the world is just now taking shape. Most of the 30+ year-olds I see getting married are several years into a career path, and have been adults (with adult relationships and friendships, and adult responsibilities) for quite some time. The face I present to the world is a lot more static now than it was when I was 20, because I've got a much better sense of who I am and where I'm going. My name is tied to real accomplishments, a real professional network, a degree, and a pretty substantial online presence (it sounds like both of you married for the first time before the whole social networking thing really took off; my Facebook account alone was almost 10 years old when I tied the knot, to say nothing of my firstname.maidenname email address, or my LinkedIn page).
As for remarriage and getting rid of an ex's name... I'd put that in the same category as having a distasteful name or a family of origin issue. Whole different ballgame.
But... as the name of the thread indicates, it's an unpopular opinion. Didn't figure too many people would agree.
Re: UO Thursday 11/5
Maybe it's the way I look at it:
1) I don't view it as a way of "celebrating our baby's genitals." We both come from larger families who have been very supportive of our journey and we want to share a special moment with them. After which we will announce our baby name.
The BF and I are making snacks and favors for our guests. So for us it's kind of a "Thank You" party for our supporters.
2) This is a milestone. I have successfully carried my tiny human approximately halfway to birth. That is something to celebrate! I also am never guaranteed to reach this moment with another child.
As for the "frivolous" argument I've seen on some boards, in total we have spent less than 90$ on everything.
Honestly, I think everyone should celebrate their lives how they want. There is so much mommy shaming, pregnancy included. I totally understand not wanting to do certain things (gender reveals, baby announcement, etc). However, I don't get making someone else feel bad for being excited about those things. Not just on the boards, but in real life as well.
Not even with some vanilla ice cream? :,(
But I still refuse to have one or attend them.
Edited because spelling is hard.
My UO is that I rarely use lotion. I can't use anything scented because it will make me break out in teeny tiny bumps all over the place (never been able to pinpoint the issue). It also seems like a huge waste of time to lotion your entire body every day...
@imrachellea, I felt your pain - last week was my first workout back in 2 months and I had to lower myself onto the toilet gingerly for 2 days straight!
Also, definitely agree on the advice to get a regular stylist. Mine is wonderful, and if I didn't get my hair colored, she would only cost about $65 every 12 weeks, plus tip. With hair color, it's 90-110 every 6 weeks depending on whether I get my hair cut at that appointment or not. And this is a pretty nice salon with wine (or beer, or coffee) and cookies!
If your family is going to be excited, why should I care how you choose to share it with them? Not my time, not my money, not my business.
None of the things yall said are shaming and are my view "to each their own." I don't think everyone NEEDS to have one.
I totally agree about the drive bys. I have never put my US in front of anyone and asked what they think. My events are literally for people who want to come. I would also never guilt someone into coming if they didn't want to be there.
Huh. I got married the first time at 20, and changed my name. My maiden name is Irish, but when pronounced, can sound hispanic (Miguel), and since I live in AZ it happened constantly. So, I had my ex's last name for over 10 years before I got remarried (didn't change it back at 27 when we split since it was too much of a PITA). I took DH's last name when we got married, partly because it would have been weird to keep my ex's name, and partly because I'd like to have the same last name as our kiddo. I don't even particularly like the last name, but there you have it.
When I got married the first time, I considered hyphenating, but it would have been a serious mouthful at 5 syllables long and lots of consonants. Friends joked that it sounded like I was yelling at them in German when I sounded it out.
I don't really agree that your identity is tied to your maiden name, though.