My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me. Unless your last name is truly grotesque (like, "Hitler" or something) or your relationship with your family of origin is significantly toxic to the point where you're ready to symbolically cut that tie, I just don't understand it at all. For everybody else.... that's your identity, dude; it doesn't go away just because you got hitched!
(For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.)
I got married last August at 24. I live in the Midwest and I got a LOT of resistance from family, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers about how not changing my last name is an "insult to DH." ILs and DH weren't too crazy about it either. Here, you always change your name. It's just something everyone does, so I'm in the minority with keeping my maiden name. DS has DHs last name and this baby will too. I don't feel any less connected to them than I would if we all shared the same name. I also don't see any problem with women who do change their names, your life and your mountain of paperwork, not mine! LOL.
TBH: Name changing for me would be a royal pain because I carry a professional license (registered healthcare provider) and that would just be one more thing to change with my state/national board. No thanks, I've had my name my whole life and I'd like to keep it.
My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me. Unless your last name is truly grotesque (like, "Hitler" or something) or your relationship with your family of origin is significantly toxic to the point where you're ready to symbolically cut that tie, I just don't understand it at all. For everybody else.... that's your identity, dude; it doesn't go away just because you got hitched!
(For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.)
Welll my last name is hyphenated already and am engaged, so if I were to do that when married, then I would have a double hyphenated last name. Hyphen squared. Too complicated for me
My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me.
It's just how things were traditionally done. I don't think it deserves a side-eye. Your name, your prerogative. I hated my maiden name and always got teased for the spelling so I was more than happy changing it.
I think gender reveal parties are another opportunity for a gift grab.
I got married July 2015 at the age of 25 and I did not take my DHs last name. It might be an UO but I do not really believe women should take their husbands name when they marry because to me it seems like she now "belongs" to him. I know this is not the way most women perceive it, but that is the symbolic behind it, because how often does the groom take the brides name? I agree with PP that our identity is connected to our maiden name. Call me a feminist but I deem it an old fashioned and unnecessary tradition. I won't side-eye women who do chose to take their husbands last name, but it's just not for me.
I used to think Nutella was not good and overrated as well, but a couple years ago I went to Iceland and got Nutella crepes and it was amazing. Now I love Nutella, although I think the Nutella in Europe is better.
I'm truly a weirdo: I don't remember how old I was (mid 20s) and I changed my last name right away, but last year I changed it back to my maiden name because it was too weird for me going by another name. My first name goes better with my original last name too.
I used to think Nutella was not good and overrated as well, but a couple years ago I went to Iceland and got Nutella crepes and it was amazing. Now I love Nutella, although I think the Nutella in Europe is better.
My maiden name was mispronounced all the time. Like one out of every five hundred people I met said it correctly. Probably only because they were German. I was more than happy to change it.
They make uggs now that just look like normal boots. You can be damn sure I'm getting a pair this year. Warm feet always won over how ugly uggs are, but now warm and cute? Shut up and take my money.
I used to think Nutella was not good and overrated as well, but a couple years ago I went to Iceland and got Nutella crepes and it was amazing. Now I love Nutella, although I think the Nutella in Europe is better.
cmjenkies said:
My UO: I give serious side-eye to women who give up their maiden names after marriage. The older you are when you do it, the more side-eye you get from me. Unless your last name is truly grotesque (like, "Hitler" or something) or your relationship with your family of origin is significantly toxic to the point where you're ready to symbolically cut that tie, I just don't understand it at all. For everybody else.... that's your identity, dude; it doesn't go away just because you got hitched! (For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.)
I got married last August at 24. I live in the Midwest and I got a LOT of resistance from family, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers about how not changing my last name is an "insult to DH." ILs and DH weren't too crazy about it either. Here, you always change your name. It's just something everyone does, so I'm in the minority with keeping my maiden name. DS has DHs last name and this baby will too. I don't feel any less connected to them than I would if we all shared the same name. I also don't see any problem with women who do change their names, your life and your mountain of paperwork, not mine! LOL.
TBH: Name changing for me would be a royal pain because I carry a professional license (registered healthcare provider) and that would just be one more thing to change with my state/national board. No thanks, I've had my name my whole life and I'd like to keep it.
I'm a native Midwesterner as well (born and bred in Central Illinois, though I'm a Chicagoan now). I've always felt strongly about keeping my last name, though I never saw a woman do it growing up. I hyphenated as a compromise because I assumed it would mean people would give me less crap about it, since at least I tacked my husband's last name on there, too. NOPE. The number of times I have to explain my name to people is unbelievable.
My last name is G-K. No, not K. G-K. The whole thing. Yes I'm married. No, the G didn't fall off when I got married. G is half my current last name, not just my maiden name. No, G is not my middle name. No, you can't just drop the G for convenience's sake. AK is not my name. AGK is. The G and the K are equally important. Well, you'd better find a way to MAKE it fit on my business card, damnit!
I own 2 pairs of UGGs that are several years old and I am not ashamed - winters here suck and they keep my toes warm! Last pregnancy, they were almost the only shoes I could comfortably wear at the end because they were big and zipped! Swollen ankles/feet in the middle of the winter (or ever really) is for the birds!
@kalanieileen - Psh, that's no excuse. If you were a real feminist you'd embrace the double hyphen, duh. Name punctuation is like leg hair: the more you have, the more equaler you are to men.
(Pure sarcasm, by the way. I have zero opinion on leg hair/shaving, and in retrospect, I probably would have skipped the hyphen myself and just kept my birth name... people do NOT understand hyphenated names).
I thought uggs were ugly at first because girls were wearing hen with denim miniskirts and short sleeves. But over jeans or leggings they've grown on me and I think they're cute.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@AGK2015 I think name changing is completely cultural. As PP have mentioned, no one in the Midwest keeps her maiden name; it's just assumed that you'll assume your husband's name. I took DH's name because he's traditional and it would've been a slap in the face to him if I hadn't. Plus, I'm not terribly attached to my maiden name and I want to have the same, easy name as my kids and husband.
Weird thought related to name changing: why doesn't anyone protest its continued designation as a "maiden" name? If it's really such a problem to change ones name at marriage because it implies spousal ownership, shouldn't it be offensive also that the term "maiden" was originally assumed to mean a virgin? Why don't we just all call it our name, or if clarification is needed,surname name at birth? Ftr, I've been married three times, and have done both, keeping and changing. I'm not so attached to my original name that the hassle of keeping it in an area where that really isn't done is worth it to me. Of course, I also don't get up in arms if you shorten my given name, even though I've never used a nickname.
Weird thought related to name changing: why doesn't anyone protest its continued designation as a "maiden" name? If it's really such a problem to change ones name at marriage because it implies spousal ownership, shouldn't it be offensive also that the term "maiden" was originally assumed to mean a virgin? Why don't we just all call it our name, or if clarification is needed,surname name at birth?
Ftr, I've been married three times, and have done both, keeping and changing. I'm not so attached to my original name that the hassle of keeping it in an area where that really isn't done is worth it to me. Of course, I also don't get up in arms if you shorten my given name, even though I've never used a nickname.
I actually don't really know about that. I don't live in an English speaking country and I used it here as that is the term used in English. In the other languages I speak it's just called "birth name". But that is a great point
I contemplated dropping my middle name when I first got married, but decided there was more heritage associated with my middle name than my last and chose to keep my middle ( I also didn't want 4 names). I'm glad I kept my middle name, which has been in the family since early 1800's. I also didn't monogram anything with my maiden name because it would have been BRA and it drove me crazy (monograms are something us southern gals have on many, many things).
I contemplated dropping my middle name when I first got married, but decided there was more heritage associated with my middle name than my last and chose to keep my middle ( I also didn't want 4 names). I'm glad I kept my middle name, which has been in the family since early 1800's. I also didn't monogram anything with my maiden name because it would have been BRA and it drove me crazy (monograms are something us southern gals have on many, many things).
That's why do you do a vine interlocking monogram so it's hard to read and just looks pretty!!!!
Also I monogram for a living and would not side eye "bRa". The only ones I would stay away from are ones like fAg or fUk where it's derogatory or a curse word, or something on that level.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I tried many times to Vine it @nachosandpeaches...it was just personal preference though, plus working in a school environment where we can rock pocket t-shirts and whatnot...just didn't want to advertise bras! haha!! had an embroidery business for 5+ years, and after getting married, I monogrammed the shit out of my new initials! But now I am stuck with over 30 shirts/hats/tank tops (yep---obsessions) with my old initials because I got married again, and no machine to push out some new shirts with a MUCH better looking monogram (went from bTa to bGa--I LOVE the vine G) Oh the monogram drama! PS--I still want to come pet your machine. Totally not in a creeper way though...maybe just a gentle hug!
I live in the Midwest and took my DHs last name, its a common thing here. I'm not ashamed of my maiden name I just wanted to share the same last name as my DH and future children, although my married name is much more easier to pronounce and is never spelled wrong. Growing up I was always having to correct people on the spelling and how my name was pronounced, the "h" is silent!
I used to hate Uggs until I realized you can wear them without socks. Game changer. Now I wear them all the time. I even got a pair for my daughter.
I also changed my surname later in life and it was a pain in the ass because I had to change it on passports and visas and professional certifications etc., but I didn't care. DH has a pretty cool last name, and mine was too long to write.
Someone asked me if I was getting a push present when I was pregnant with DD. I answered yeah, a baby. I didn't even know this was a thing up until a few years ago.
I used to hate Uggs until I realized you can wear them without socks. Game changer. Now I wear them all the time. I even got a pair for my daughter.
I also changed my surname later in life and it was a pain in the ass because I had to change it on passports and visas and professional certifications etc., but I didn't care. DH has a pretty cool last name, and mine was too long to write.
I have already strongly considered buying crocs because my feet hurt already. I used to wear the ones without holes to work and they were amazing because I was on my feet anywhere from 8-16 hours. Plus they slip on and I know I won't want to bend over to put shoes on down the road.
I took DHs last name mostly for tradition (no reason not to IMO) but really love that some of our friends created a smoosh name of their last names for their new family. He was a Bosnian refugee with a really long surname and she was in med school to be a pediatrician and wanted kids to be able to pronounce it, so they took the first syllable of her LN and the last two of his and created their own.
DH laughed when we were planning our wedding and he found out about bride and groom gifts... so he thought I was absolutely out of my gourd when I mentioned push presents. I think they are sweet... but definitely a fad that sparked over the last few years... DH shouldn't complain because he got a pretty sweet Movado watch for his grooms gift (with an engraving that made him cry at our rehearsal... winning!). I always knew I would want a ring with our baby's birth stone IF we did a push present... lucky me that April is diamond!! Here's to hoping DH doesn't totally poo-poo the push present!
I tried many times to Vine it @nachosandpeaches...it was just personal preference though, plus working in a school environment where we can rock pocket t-shirts and whatnot...just didn't want to advertise bras! haha!! had an embroidery business for 5+ years, and after getting married, I monogrammed the shit out of my new initials! But now I am stuck with over 30 shirts/hats/tank tops (yep---obsessions) with my old initials because I got married again, and no machine to push out some new shirts with a MUCH better looking monogram (went from bTa to bGa--I LOVE the vine G) Oh the monogram drama! PS--I still want to come pet your machine. Totally not in a creeper way though...maybe just a gentle hug!
Hahaha not creeper at all! I still can't believe some days DH agreed to let me get the multi needle! Lol
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I swear I used the search bar!!!! I looked through about 30 pages of old threads and didn't find it. [-O<
An online slang dictionary said maybe "uh-oh?"
Unpopular opinion. There's a discussion pinned near the top of the board that's titled Bump Guidelines (or something like that) with a link to a glossary specific to TB - it takes some time, but you'll get used to all the acronyms soon!
I copied and pasted this from Wikipedia:
A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.
Basically, you get a present for pushing out a baby. I mean WTF.
I swear I used the search bar!!!! I looked through about 30 pages of old threads and didn't find it. [-O<
An online slang dictionary said maybe "uh-oh?"
Unpopular opinion.
There's a discussion pinned near the top of the board that's titled Bump Guidelines (or something like that) with a link to a glossary specific to TB - it takes some time, but you'll get used to all the acronyms soon!
Thank you!! I wonder why that didn't come up on the Search I did! But now I know there is a glossary there, super helpful, thanks!!
I copied and pasted this from Wikipedia: A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.
Basically, you get a present for pushing out a baby. I mean WTF.
--------------------Quote fail------------------------- I mean, I like presents because I don't buy myself things, but...isn't the baby the ultimate gift? How can a material thing match that?
Actually, I want a coupon book as a push present. Like; DH will take care of night feedings tonight, good for one blowout clean-up, one hour-long bath without interruptions, etc. That would be bomb.
One of my friends made her husband buy her a push present for #1 and then a birthstone ring with both kids birthstones with #2. He spent a small fortune on both gifts and they aren't even done with having kids.
I guess my UO is that I think push presents are fine if the husband can and wants to do it. I got one that I love, a pendant with DS first initial, and I hope I get a matching one for this little guy I'm carrying. I don't think it's about the amount of money that is spent but the thought behind it. Of course the ultimate "present" is a healthy baby. What woman doesn't like a present from their significant other?
My other UO, I don't like anything, ANYTHING banana flavored. I do however, like bananas. Weird, I know.
I don't see the problem with getting a present from the husband for having a baby, or any other occasion or no occasion at all. Presents are nice any time. How is it any dumber if he surprises you with a gift for having a baby than giving a gift for Valentine's day? I don't think a gift should be expected but if he wants to that is nice.
Re: UO Thursday 11/5
TBH: Name changing for me would be a royal pain because I carry a professional license (registered healthcare provider) and that would just be one more thing to change with my state/national board. No thanks, I've had my name my whole life and I'd like to keep it.
Welll my last name is hyphenated already and am engaged, so if I were to do that when married, then I would have a double hyphenated last name. Hyphen squared. Too complicated for me
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
Nutella crepe is life
They make uggs now that just look like normal boots. You can be damn sure I'm getting a pair this year. Warm feet always won over how ugly uggs are, but now warm and cute? Shut up and take my money.
(For the record, I married at 29 and hyphenated. I WILL correct you if you address me as Mrs. K, and I won't be kind about it. My last name is G-K, thank you very much.) I got married last August at 24. I live in the Midwest and I got a LOT of resistance from family, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers about how not changing my last name is an "insult to DH." ILs and DH weren't too crazy about it either. Here, you always change your name. It's just something everyone does, so I'm in the minority with keeping my maiden name. DS has DHs last name and this baby will too. I don't feel any less connected to them than I would if we all shared the same name. I also don't see any problem with women who do change their names, your life and your mountain of paperwork, not mine! LOL. TBH: Name changing for me would be a royal pain because I carry a professional license (registered healthcare provider) and that would just be one more thing to change with my state/national board. No thanks, I've had my name my whole life and I'd like to keep it. I'm a native Midwesterner as well (born and bred in Central Illinois, though I'm a Chicagoan now). I've always felt strongly about keeping my last name, though I never saw a woman do it growing up. I hyphenated as a compromise because I assumed it would mean people would give me less crap about it, since at least I tacked my husband's last name on there, too. NOPE. The number of times I have to explain my name to people is unbelievable.
Weird thought related to name changing: why doesn't anyone protest its continued designation as a "maiden" name? If it's really such a problem to change ones name at marriage because it implies spousal ownership, shouldn't it be offensive also that the term "maiden" was originally assumed to mean a virgin? Why don't we just all call it our name, or if clarification is needed,surname name at birth?
Ftr, I've been married three times, and have done both, keeping and changing. I'm not so attached to my original name that the hassle of keeping it in an area where that really isn't done is worth it to me. Of course, I also don't get up in arms if you shorten my given name, even though I've never used a nickname.
Also I monogram for a living and would not side eye "bRa". The only ones I would stay away from are ones like fAg or fUk where it's derogatory or a curse word, or something on that level.
PS--I still want to come pet your machine. Totally not in a creeper way though...maybe just a gentle hug!
I also changed my surname later in life and it was a pain in the ass because I had to change it on passports and visas and professional certifications etc., but I didn't care. DH has a pretty cool last name, and mine was too long to write.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
It's going to be a baby and I get to keep it!
There's a discussion pinned near the top of the board that's titled Bump Guidelines (or something like that) with a link to a glossary specific to TB - it takes some time, but you'll get used to all the acronyms soon!
I copied and pasted this from Wikipedia: A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.
Basically, you get a present for pushing out a baby. I mean WTF.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
I copied and pasted this from Wikipedia:
A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years.
Basically, you get a present for pushing out a baby. I mean WTF.
--------------------Quote fail-------------------------
I mean, I like presents because I don't buy myself things, but...isn't the baby the ultimate gift? How can a material thing match that?
Actually, I want a coupon book as a push present. Like; DH will take care of night feedings tonight, good for one blowout clean-up, one hour-long bath without interruptions, etc. That would be bomb.
Edit for quote fail
My other UO, I don't like anything, ANYTHING banana flavored. I do however, like bananas. Weird, I know.
I feel you on this one. I love bananas, but I hate banana flavored things. It tastes too synthetic.
Fake banana is only good in Runts or other candy where you expect it to be fake. Otherwise regular bananas are the way to go for sure.