Will you co sleep with your newborn?

canadiangirl57 · October 2015

I read many studies about the pros and cons for co sleeping. I would to see how many of you believe in co sleeping or don't.

Option 3. Was meant to say cosleep for the first 18months***

thecubiclee · October 2015

Not a fan of co sleeping. Partly because my baby cousin died of SIDS at 4 months old. But also because it's so hard to get them to sleep in their own bed later on.

kellygrace2 · October 2015

@thecubiclee I'm with you on this one. DD slept in the crib, playpen, swing or on us for the first couple months. I was so afraid one of us would roll on her in the night. Plus our bed has a pillow top and is way too soft for a newborn. We'll do the same with DD2.

FutureMrsCaesar · October 2015

DS1 & DS2 slept in their own cribs in their own rooms from night 1 home. DS3 slept in his rock n play in our room for the first few weeks then in it in his own room for like 6 months (those are a hard habit to break!). I just don't get much sleep with all the newborn noises they make in my room, and DH is VERY adamant that we don't let the kids sleep in our bed, he's very concerned about SIDS or otherwise rolling on or squishing our baby.

parenthood4 · October 2015

I put that we will not be co sleeping. He will have crib in a separate room and a co sleeper next to our bed in our room. There first two slept in our room for 5 and 6 months, so we will aim for about the same before switching him to his crib. Cosleeping makes me too nervous, especially with a newborn. I have let the older two fall asleep next to me after nursing at like 5 in the morning once they are older babies, like ten months old, which I do admit is so sweet. But for a little baby, it's not for me.

kitteh81 · October 2015

thecubiclee said:
Not a fan of co sleeping. Partly because my baby cousin died of SIDS at 4 months old. But also because it's so hard to get them to sleep in their own bed later on.

Co sleeping does not cause SIDS. Actually, SIDS is sometimes called "crib death" because it happens most often when babies are sleeping on their own. Co sleeping can be done very safely and when the proper steps are taken it does not increase rates of death in babies.

I'm one of those Family Bed people. I've co slept with both of mine from day one. I think it makes night time breastfeeding so much easier and I sleep much better when my little ones are near me. I still cosleep with both my girls (5 and 2 years old) and the newborn will be joining us when he or she arrives. I use an in-bed cosleeper for the first few months so that baby is in its own sleeping surface. But after that we all just pile in.

jenniferamcooper · October 2015

We will room share (cradle in our room) for a week or two, then we'll transition him to the crib. Our son HATED the cradle and slept in his crib from our 3rd night home. I was worried because the reccomendation here is to room share for 6 months, but our bedrooms are beside each other.

amandals06 · October 2015

No co-sleeping. I did it with my daughter and would wake up constantly afraid I'd roll over on her. The baby will sleep in his crib, so I can sleep without worries.

cataleya82 · October 2015

I let my first born sleep in my bed from birth to the age of 4. This was mostly due to the fact that he had colic and he would only sleep good right next to me. With my second I had an arms reach co sleeper next to my bed for his first 6 months and then I moved him to his own room/crib after that. I plan to use an arms reach co sleeper again with this baby. Personally I just can't sleep good when anyone is in my bed, esp a grunting baby that's constantly moving around.

kynbar5 · October 2015

I prefer (and always have) that the babies sleep in their own crib in their own room. It has been easier and worked out for everyone to have the baby in our room with us in their own crib for the 1st few months. It's easier for me to bf during the night without waking a bunch of sleeping kids that have school the next morning (I have a few very light sleepers). That's just what works for us. I'm not comfortable with having any of the kids sleeping in the bed with me and most of my kids prefer to sleep in their own beds. Personal space is important in our house lol.

blueeyedrose86 · October 2015

Yes, @kitteh81! SIDs is not caused by bed sharing. There is a huge difference between SIDs and suffocation. Suffocation can be prevented by safe bed sharing practices: no drinking, pain meds, smoking, etc. Keep pillows and blankets away from baby's face. No deep pillow top mattresses.

I chose bed share for 2+ years.

amaniupendo · October 2015

I'm too paranoid to bed share and wouldn't sleep well. I like having the baby right next to my bed though for the first six months or so.

RosyK · October 2015

I got the most sleep with any of my kids with #3 who bed shared till she turned 1 and we stopped nursing. Dd1 and dd2 also slept in our bed for a while, but not as long...

This time we'll do it till he stops nursing, which I will likely try to stop sometime between 12-18 months.

arcanejinx · October 2015

We will not be co sleeping. DH and I are violent sleepers (trash, kick, punch) and deep sleepers too. Baby's room will next to ours. I also am not one for kids sleeping in the bed-and neither is my husband. Working with families and with my own friends I've watched them struggle with being able to get children to sleep without them-especially hard on both when mom is going back to work or little one is starting daycare.

If it works for some families that's fine, but it's not for ours.

kotastar14 · October 2015

I co slept with my daughter just at bedtime until she was around 9 months old then transitioned her into her own crib and room. Nap time she'd sleep in her room or sometimes would fall asleep in her swing. Transitioning her over to her own crib wasn't hard at all and I'm glad to have co slept. Co sleeping does not cause SIDS and it's a sad misconception. There are safe sleep practices that decrease the infants risk of SIDS.

cmerribury · October 2015

We will not co sleep. Our son will go into the crib in his room the first night home, just like his older brother did. We don't let our oldest sleep with us, ever. Our bed is our bed. For us alone. We need a space that we can just be husband and wife and not mom and dad. He has a full size bed in his room now, so if he's sick or having nightmares one of us will lay with him until he's ok. Also, there's no way I'd ever be comfortable sleeping with an infant in my bed. I would never sleep, constantly worried that he was smothering or that any movement of mine would wake him. I know some here claim that co sleeping doesn't cause SIDS and I haven't done a lot of research (since I don't plan to co sleep) but since babies are meant to sleep with nothing at all, I don't see how sticking them in a bed full of covers, pillows, and other people could possibly be safe. Perhaps most people plan to use a separate sleeper, which would at least seem more safe.

Anyway, TL;DR: not my thing.

kitteh81 · October 2015

During the early months we tuck the sheets in so they only hit about waist height, and wear long sleeve shirts if necessary for cold. But we're in SoCal, so cold nights aren't really an issue. But we don't have any extra pillows or blankets in the bed. Those restrictions are meant to reduce the chance of smothering and suffocation. SIDS is not the same thing as suffocation though.

skruhmin · October 2015

With both older boys, they were in their room from night one - we didn't have a choice, bedroom didnt have space. With this baby and house, he will be in our room or closet in a pack n play, probably a few weeks. But no bed sharing for us. I can't sleep if baby is in bed with me. Too uncomfortable and I'm too worried something will happen, but that's just me.

AlphabetFish · October 2015

I don't plan on it, since it would mean banishing all blankets, pillows, and possibly even my own husband. I don't sleep well without blankets (I get cold so easily when I sleep) and we both toss and turn. I just don't think I could make it as safe as it needs to be AND also get a good night's sleep.

Current plan is to put baby in a napper/pack&play type thing in the same room as us so I can reach him easily without him being in danger of getting squished. I plan to transition him to his own room over time.

kfarr26 · October 2015

I absolutely will not cosleep. Our baby will be in their own crib in their own room. I see absolutely zero benefit in cosleeping but have a lengthy list of negatives and concerns. Just not for us.

red3ye · October 2015

I co sleep with ds still and he is 2. I am trying to get him into his own bed and am finding that harder to do than I thought it would be. For some reason, I thought 2 was a good age to break us of that.
With the twins, they will sleep in our room for the first couple of months, but in their own bed. After they get past the newborn stage, then they will go to their own room (here's to hoping we will have a separate room for them by then.) I love having ds close to me, but find that I really miss being able to cuddle into dh. Hopefully ds will be in his own bed by the time the twins are born.
Having said this, if co sleeping works for you, then great! I know ds and I always slept better when he was in bed with me. I am a very light sleeper and ds and I both get hot while sleeping so avoiding blankets was easy. Plus, he slept in a rocker for the first 3 months anyway. It was not until he got sick at 3 months that he started sleeping with us

Kurtni · October 2015

I plan to get the arms reach cosleeper to help with nighttime breastfeeding. I personally don't feel comfortable bed sharing with a newborn but wouldn't mind it with an older baby

thecubiclee · October 2015

kitteh81 said:

thecubiclee said:
Not a fan of co sleeping. Partly because my baby cousin died of SIDS at 4 months old. But also because it's so hard to get them to sleep in their own bed later on.
Co sleeping does not cause SIDS. Actually, SIDS is sometimes called "crib death" because it happens most often when babies are sleeping on their own. Co sleeping can be done very safely and when the proper steps are taken it does not increase rates of death in babies.

I'm one of those Family Bed people. I've co slept with both of mine from day one. I think it makes night time breastfeeding so much easier and I sleep much better when my little ones are near me. I still cosleep with both my girls (5 and 2 years old) and the newborn will be joining us when he or she arrives. I use an in-bed cosleeper for the first few months so that baby is in its own sleeping surface. But after that we all just pile in.

Well my cousin died of SIDS while co sleeping. That alone is enough to make me not want to do it. I could see a couple nights once they're 6 months or older. But co sleeping isn't for me after attending a funeral for a 4 month old..

kynbar5 · October 2015

Not to start a huge debate or anything but last I checked there wasn't a specific cause for SIDS. So, in my very honest opinion I don't think anyone can condone cosleeping simply for the "it doesn't cause SIDS" reasoning. Personally, cosleeping with babies makes me very nervous because I too have known a baby that died (of SIDS) while cosleeping with a parent and one that was in a crib. On the other hand, I do know of one that died from suffocation while cosleeping also. I don't blame people that do cosleep, it's just not for us for many reasons.

smushi · November 2015

We'll have baby a crib in their own nursery, but I'll sleep in a bed in the room next to his, and more than likely I'll cosleep some depending on how nursing and sleep goes. DS stayed in the bed with me for the first month because he had his days and nights backwards, so there really was no sleeping for me... We'd just nurse and then I'd roll over and try to catch 20 minutes if I could. I only felt comfortable because the mattress was firm, I didn't use a comforter or sheet, and it was just me (DH was downstairs in our room). Plus I'm an incredibly light sleeper. Beyond that, DS has always slept in his crib. The kid snores, like a pug... The few times we've tried letting him sleep with us, it's been miserable. He either rolls around constantly, or latches on and off constantly. None of us actually sleep that way (and I can't believe how my friends who do cosleep for extended periods of time actually function!). I don't mind going to him every time he wakes up to nurse. Often, we would side lie nurse in the guest bed, then once he was asleep, I'd put him in his crib.

kellyrich786 · November 2015

If you're gonna do it, do it right.

ClaireBear90 · November 2015

I voted that I won't be co-sleeping at all, but that's not QUITE true. I was convinced 100% that I would be a co-sleeping parent. But then I had a baby.

And it turns out, we ALL sleep better when baby is in his/her own crib. I love the idea of co-sleeping and totally support parents who choose to do it safely.

The exception for us is the very first few nights at home until my milk comes in. I've found it is much easier on me after giving birth to have baby right there with me so I'm not getting up every 45 minutes. No one sleeps much those first few nights anyway and I enjoy having that extra bonding and closeness. After that, baby sleeps in the crib. One of our kids was a fantastic sleeper and one was not, but having them both learn to sleep on their own from essentially the beginning has been a good thing for us and for them. I do have a bassinet which I set up in our room, but it doesn't get much use and I'm not sure if I will even bother to set it up this time around.

yodapup · November 2015

DD slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 3 months (until she out grew it). This worked best for us because it made night time feeds easier. We had a very easy transition to her own crib in her own room around 3 months. We plan on doing the same this time around.

shaylee93 · November 2015

SIDS is going to happen if its going to happen it has nothing to do with where they are sleeping. My son was a 28week preemie and we coslept for 15months

and we plan on doing to same with this baby! It was amazing and soooooo much easier then him being in a crib lol

rosieschmozie · November 2015

Personally, I wanted to co sleep using a co-sleeper, but as for now, we will just put a mini-crib right beside our bed. This way baby can still hear and smell us, but has its own sleeping space. For feeding I can just sit up and pluck her out of her crib. For me this is the perfect balance between co-sleeping benefits and safety. Our bed is big and soft and we have a fluffy duvet and a lot of pillows. We would have to make a lot of alterations to co-sleep safely. She'll move to her own room right next to ours after a few months, or just whenever feels right.

smount2011 · November 2015

Nope, not doing it. Baby will be in the pack & play bassinet in our room at night, and in the crib for naps. After a few months we will transition baby to the crib at night too. DD was a horrible sleeper, to the point when we tried to transition her to the crib she screamed bloody murder! She ended up sleeping in her car seat because she wanted nothing to do with her bed. DD is now 11 and still doesn't sleep well- I'm praying this baby does!

On another note I also have a dog who sleeps with us in bed, and I don't find it fair to kick him out to make room for a baby. After all, he was here first (and is epileptic so he needs to be near me too).

manniebeth · November 2015

We won't be cosleeping. My partner is an incredibly heavy sleeper and I am as well. I also don't see how that would be good for our sex life. I view our bed as our space to be together and intimate.

CalebsHabibi · November 2015

kynbar5 said:
Not to start a huge debate or anything but last I checked there wasn't a specific cause for SIDS. So, in my very honest opinion I don't think anyone can condone cosleeping simply for the "it doesn't cause SIDS" reasoning. Personally, cosleeping with babies makes me very nervous because I too have known a baby that died (of SIDS) while cosleeping with a parent and one that was in a crib. On the other hand, I do know of one that died from suffocation while cosleeping also. I don't blame people that do cosleep, it's just not for us for many reasons.

While there is no known cause for SIDS, the American Academy for Pediatrics recommends having the baby sleep in their own crib to reduce the risk of SIDS. Also, they found the bassinet or crib being in the parent's room lowers the risk for SIDS. I found it interesting that pacifiers lower the risk of SIDS too.

"In addition to placing healthy infants on their backs to sleep, the AAP suggests these measures to help reduce the risk of SIDS:

Place your baby on a firm mattress to sleep, never on a pillow, waterbed, sheepskin, couch, chair, or other soft surface. To prevent rebreathing, do not put blankets, comforters, stuffed toys, or pillows near the baby.

Do not use bumper pads in cribs. Bumper pads can be a potential risk of suffocation or strangulation.

Make sure your baby receives all recommended immunizations. Studies have shown that babies who have received their immunizations have a 50% lower risk of SIDS.

Make sure your baby does not get too warm while sleeping. Keep the room at a temperature that feels comfortable for an adult in a short-sleeve shirt.
Some researchers suggest that a baby who gets too warm could go into a deeper sleep, making it more difficult to awaken.

Do not smoke, drink, or use drugs while pregnant and do not expose your baby to secondhand smoke. Infants of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free; exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby's risk of SIDS. Researchers speculate that smoking might affect the central nervous system, starting prenatally and continuing after birth, which could place the baby at increased risk.

Receive early and regular prenatal care.

Make sure your baby has regular well-baby checkups.

Breastfeed, if possible. There is some evidence that breastfeeding may help decrease the incidence of SIDS. The reason for this is not clear, though researchers think that breast milk may help protect babies from infections that increase the risk of SIDS.

If your baby has GERD, be sure to follow your doctor's guidelines on feeding and sleep positions.

Put your baby to sleep with a pacifier during the first year of life. If your baby rejects the pacifier, don't force it. Pacifiers have been linked with lower risk of SIDS. If you're breastfeeding, try to wait until after the baby is 1 month old so that breastfeeding can be established.

While infants can be brought into a parent's bed for nursing or comforting, parents should return them to their cribs or bassinets when they're ready to sleep. It's a good idea to keep the cribs and bassinets in the room where parents' sleep. This has been linked with a lower risk of SIDS."

1drmom · November 2015

We said we'd never cosleep but there was a point between 4 and 7 months where DD didn't sleep longer than 45min stretches unless she was in our bed. We positioned her safely and all slept better until she figured it out.

Jessimuca · November 2015

Not a chance- it's just not for us. DD1 was sleeping in a rnp in our rom for 3 weeks before transitioning into her crib and we're planning on something similar for DD2 when she arrives.

No judgment it you're into cosleeping, we're just firm believers that our bed and is for my husband and I only (with the exception of a bad dream here or there when my kids are older). That's just what works for our family.

bbrianax · November 2015

My daughter's crib will be in our bedroom for now, but we will not be cosleeping. We both move a ton in our sleep and I wouldn't feel safe about it.

RoMama113 · November 2015

New research has linked SIDS to inner ear issues. Here's a link, but I believe there are a few other studies: https://pulse.seattlechildrens.org/new-research-shows-link-between-sids-and-inner-ear-damage/

There's also many studies that say cosleeping reduces SIDS. So I guess it all depends on your sources...

I did not plan on cosleeping with DS, we had the pack n play next to our bed. My husband was also very against it. But after we got home from the hospital, DS would not sleep for more than 15 minutes without being held. We would take turns sleeping at first, but when we were almost insane from no sleep, we gave in and coslept and finally got some good rest! It wasn't hard to make it safe, we would swaddle him and have our sheets and blankets only to waist level. If I was cold, I'd wear long sleeves or a sweatshirt. He would sleep pretty much in my armpit nook and it was very comfortable. And I was used to not turning forward (or at all without waking up) from having such a big belly for months. We coslept until he started crawling. He crawled off the bed twice when he was half sleep and that was it. It wasn't hard to transition to his crib.

This time I plan on cosleeping from the start, for 4-6 months at least. I might get an arms reach sleeper. I actually think it's safer and much more convenient to cosleep. Plus, I believe it helped my period stay away for longer!

kitteh81 · November 2015

Yeah, I found night time breastfeeding so much easier to do when cosleeping. Side lying nursing means sometimes I don't even wake up when my older baby nurses. It's great. (Though it's sometimes the cause of some very odd dreams. The nursing sensation has incorporated itself into my dreams before, and I've woken to find baby actually latched and nursing! )

We also extended our sleep surface by side carring a crib to the bed (which helps reduce or eliminate any risk of baby falling or crawling out of bed.) I guess that also technically means baby has their own sleeping surface, though they usually sleep right in the crook of my arm (easy boob access!)

thiblm · November 2015

We are open minded and go with what each baby needs. With ds, he slept 6 hour right away so no need to co sleep. We just had him on my side of the bed In the pnp. Then he was in his room once he slept through the night and I felt okay with it... he was less than three months. We would morning nap/bf though.

With ds2 we are going into it thinking the same way. And as before if he's up all though out the night Co sleeping will happen for bf until he's sleeping through the night

Parker16772 · November 2015

Defiantly not. The only time DS1 has slept with us was when he was sick and we were desperate for some sleep. DS2 will start off sleeping in the newborn napper of the pack n play in our room and I will move him to his room when we are ready. DS1 slept in our room for the first six months. I do like when DS1 comes into our room and I get some early morning cuddles but we all sleep better when he is in his own bed including him and I like having the bed just being the two of us.

oceanchild · November 2015

we have bed-shared with all three of ours so far, and have had zero trouble getting them to switch to their own beds/room once a new baby came along (so far - watch my current nursling make me eat my words LOL just like him)!
i agree with @kitteh81 - i liked this little article that someone with me shared recently
https://news.nd.edu/news/61145-researchers-propose-breastsleeping-as-a-new-word-and-concept/

#1 went to his own bed around a year (when #2 came along)
#2 went to her own bed around 2 (just before #3 was born)

#3 will be about 2y when #4 is born and we plan on transitioning him around the beginning of 2016

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