Baby Showers
JessaRex
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an introvert's baby shower :)
JessaRex
member
in Baby Showers
so i am almost 33 weeks pregnant, and have my baby shower on Sunday. i am usually an extrovert when in a normal get together setting with people, but do NOT like being center of attention of a party. i have been getting anxiety about some things due to the party being set for me where the attention would be mainly focused on myself, so of course i took to google and seeing how common that was. what i found was that there are many women who have felt the same way. they have anxiety about having to open presents in front of people, having people asking awkward questions, etc. sooo i thought i would make a post about my plans that i had set up to make myself (an introvert and socially awkward person) a little more comfortable at her own baby shower.
first of, the shower was designed in a way of convenience for all, including the guests. i understand that life happens, and while the day and time works for myself, others may have emergencies, kids to pick up or drop off, work, etc. so it was made as an open house 4 hour event. this way, people are encouraged to come when they have the ability to do so, stay as long as they are comfortable with, and if they need to leave they dont feel pressured into staying when they can't. if they show up late, it's not going to be frowned upon when they walk in mid game either and the participation of games is optional (some people i found out are not so much into the games portion these days).
gifts are opened as received and then displayed on a table for those that are curious as to what was received by others. i am not a fan of pulling 20 onsies out that are identical and i dont have a personality that allows me to 'coo' over every little thing one thing right after another even though i think it's the cutest or most ingenious thing invented.
games are being done in both ballot form and sit-in group form.
ballot games allow those who can't stay for an extended period of time to still be able to participate and have a chance to win prizes. these games include things such as guessing the number of m&m's in a jar (prize being the jar of m&m's and a gift card for a restaurant. there are also gift baskets for bath and body works and lush, among other things of course.
sit-in games are scheduled for one an hour so as those who can only be there at the beginning, part way through, or end can have their entertainment and win what i am referring to as bonus prizes. these prizes include a variety of more gift cards, a large bottle of wine (just cause i cant drink doesnt mean that my guests dont enjoy a glass or two at home), etc. will also have a guest book where people can sign in and leave a message for baby when she gets older.
for food, we (my shower planners and myself) decided that since it is an open house event, a table with finger foods would be best since we are anticipating scatter timed arrivals. this way people arent rushing to 'at least make the dinner' or feeling like they are being rude for not staying long enough for the meal. we have planned a variety of fruit and veggie trays, wraps, cheese and meats, and instead of a full on cake, we are making cupcakes and arranging & frosting it to look like a cake. this way if someone needs to drop in and dash, they can still have a bite to eat and even some dessert on the go without a mess in the car (also it'll be easier to pawn off leftovers lol) we have arranged some punch, coffee & tea, general pop, and people have access to the bar.
the place/setting is set to be in the back of a bar/eatery. it allows for kids to come in, people to be in a casual setting, and for men that were dragged to the event by their wives/girlfriends to be able to hang out at the bar and watch sports instead of feeling out of place at what they refer to as a "girls only" event. and again, just because i cant drink, doesnt mean that my guests wouldnt want to. the refreshment table offers non-alcoholic beverages that we provide for drivers, kids, and those that just dont want to drink, and those who prefer a beer or two have it as an option.
as a "center of attention introvert", this all helps make me a little more comfortable at my own shower because i wont be swamped by a hoard of people showing up at one time, i wont have to be put onto display, and i will have the ability to be able to interact with my guests one on one or in groups at a time. i originally wanted to have it as a cook-out in the park on a nice day where it'd be a very social event. would have a fire pit and just make it fun with outdoor games etc, but the month i wanted was too early and now its too cool out and would be gamboling with the weather.
so yea, thats a few ideas for you introverts out there on how you can make your shower a little more enjoyable for yourself. there is not need to stress out just because a traditional shower is what is usually expected. just because it is what people expect doesnt mean it is what HAS to be done. make it your own. every baby is as unique as the mother carrying. and as every mother is unique, so is the needs and preferences. no one will judge you for not wanting to be put onto display, everyone has their own limit of what they can and cannot handle. just have fun with it!!!
Re: an introvert's baby shower :)
But honestly, to follow on what Disney said, in your effort to make the gifts less of a focus, I think they become more of a focus. I think most people will probably show up at the start time and what do you do when 5 people walk in at once, then while you're opening their gifts, 5 more people walk in.... and so on and so forth. You're stuck in one spot opening gifts while everyone is off mingling. And you may not have the "help" with the gifts that you would at a designated gift opening time. (meaning having someone hand you the gift, write down who gave you what, take the paper from you and then also take the gift from you while you move on to the next gift).
Some advice I'll give you IF you want to consider doing a gift opening - try to make it feel "mingly" - as in, maybe have dessert put out shortly after it starts and people can get up and go get dessert or coffee. Have music playing. With other noise going on, this will hopefully keep people talking to each other too and not just staring at you (this is a lesson learned- I went to a shower where there was no music and people felt weird talking so the gift opening- we just sat there in total silence. It was painful, TBH.)
Just some things to think about.
This might be a dorky question, but do you have any ideas as to what kind of music to play as background kind of tunes? Should I just leave it up to my hosts or mention it to them?
Yeah, that'll be perfect.
A soundtrack of crickets chirping would be hilarious though
You are having more than 100 people at your shower?! And it's a 4 hour event?! Doesn't matter if this is labeled as an "open house"...that is nuts.
The whole thing honestly sounds so overwhelming for the GUESTS. I understand you are an introvert and you are claiming that you are doing all these things regarding the party to be mindful of your guests but it all sounds like more of a hassle for your guests than anything else.
I'm sure you'll get mad and tell me I'm rude but I'm giving my opinion anyways.
Also, and this might be an unpopular opinion, I don't understand the people who are so uncomfortable opening gifts in front of family and friends. These are people you have known a long time, not complete strangers. If your anxiety is that bad, then decline the shower.
If you're truly that uncomfortable with the idea of a shower, I'd decline altogether. Everything you've mentioned sounds like its going to end up not going as smoothly as you think.
I get your intentions - I do. But having an official "gift opening" is actually LESS time consuming than anything else and while, initially, all eyes will be on you- TRUST ME, as you get going, people will start to talk to each other, get up to get something to drink, etc. In the end, people really onll want to see THEIR gift opened.