an introvert's baby shower :)

JessaRex

so i am almost 33 weeks pregnant, and have my baby shower on Sunday. i am usually an extrovert when in a normal get together setting with people, but do NOT like being center of attention of a party. i have been getting anxiety about some things due to the party being set for me where the attention would be mainly focused on myself, so of course i took to google and seeing how common that was. what i found was that there are many women who have felt the same way. they have anxiety about having to open presents in front of people, having people asking awkward questions, etc. sooo i thought i would make a post about my plans that i had set up to make myself (an introvert and socially awkward person) a little more comfortable at her own baby shower.

first of, the shower was designed in a way of convenience for all, including the guests. i understand that life happens, and while the day and time works for myself, others may have emergencies, kids to pick up or drop off, work, etc. so it was made as an open house 4 hour event. this way, people are encouraged to come when they have the ability to do so, stay as long as they are comfortable with, and if they need to leave they dont feel pressured into staying when they can't. if they show up late, it's not going to be frowned upon when they walk in mid game either and the participation of games is optional (some people i found out are not so much into the games portion these days).

gifts are opened as received and then displayed on a table for those that are curious as to what was received by others. i am not a fan of pulling 20 onsies out that are identical and i dont have a personality that allows me to 'coo' over every little thing one thing right after another even though i think it's the cutest or most ingenious thing invented.

games are being done in both ballot form and sit-in group form. 

ballot games allow those who can't stay for an extended period of time to still be able to participate and have a chance to win prizes. these games include things such as guessing the number of m&m's in a jar (prize being the jar of m&m's and a gift card for a restaurant. there are also gift baskets for bath and body works and lush, among other things of course.

sit-in games are scheduled for one an hour so as those who can only be there at the beginning, part way through, or end can have their entertainment and win what i am referring to as bonus prizes. these prizes include a variety of more gift cards, a large bottle of wine (just cause i cant drink doesnt mean that my guests dont enjoy a glass or two at home), etc. will also have a guest book where people can sign in and leave a message for baby when she gets older.

for food, we (my shower planners and myself) decided that since it is an open house event, a table with finger foods would be best since we are anticipating scatter timed arrivals. this way people arent rushing to 'at least make the dinner' or feeling like they are being rude for not staying long enough for the meal. we have planned a variety of fruit and veggie trays, wraps, cheese and meats, and instead of a full on cake, we are making cupcakes and arranging & frosting it to look like a cake. this way if someone needs to drop in and dash, they can still have a bite to eat and even some dessert on the go without a mess in the car (also it'll be easier to pawn off leftovers lol) we have arranged some punch, coffee & tea, general pop, and people have access to the bar.

the place/setting is set to be in the back of a bar/eatery. it allows for kids to come in, people to be in a casual setting, and for men that were dragged to the event by their wives/girlfriends to be able to hang out at the bar and watch sports instead of feeling out of place at what they refer to as a "girls only" event. and again, just because i cant drink, doesnt mean that my guests wouldnt want to. the refreshment table offers non-alcoholic beverages that we provide for drivers, kids, and those that just dont want to drink, and those who prefer a beer or two have it as an option.

as a "center of attention introvert", this all helps make me a little more comfortable at my own shower because i wont be swamped by a hoard of people showing up at one time, i wont have to be put onto display, and i will have the ability to be able to interact with my guests one on one or in groups at a time. i originally wanted to have it as a cook-out in the park on a nice day where it'd be a very social event. would have a fire pit and just make it fun with outdoor games etc, but the month i wanted was too early and now its too cool out and would be gamboling with the weather.

so yea, thats a few ideas for you introverts out there on how you can make your shower a little more enjoyable for yourself. there is not need to stress out just because a traditional shower is what is usually expected. just because it is what people expect doesnt mean it is what HAS to be done. make it your own. every baby is as unique as the mother carrying. and as every mother is unique, so is the needs and preferences. no one will judge you for not wanting to be put onto display, everyone has their own limit of what they can and cannot handle. just have fun with it!!! 

Linsbins

I am an introvert too and had a hard time at my bridal shower. Just a suggestion/question- with the gifts, could you open 2-3 after each game when the giver is still there? That way people get to see gift opening but the attention isn't all on you for too long. Opening and setting gifts on a table is slightly odd imo, and you may get stuck doing the whole dog and pony show at the beginning of a bunch of people show up when it starts, which is what you don't want.

Disneygeek77

I don't know.  I honestly think your gift opening process might be even more awkward especially if there is a crowd gathered and I would hate for my guests to have to stand around holding a heavy object while in line.  Plus...I don't know.  It reminds me of when we went to Disneyworld and had to wait in line to meet Cinderella.  Something about it just doesn't sit right with me.  

I mean are you going to be by the front door the entire time ?  WIll you be in a separate room ?  What if you are eating and someone walks in ?  Will you ask them where their gift is ?  Will you go look for it at the display table and then say " Hey, I'm opening your gift now ?"  What if they get confused and open it themselves ?  Eeeeee too many questions and to many possibilities for awkward situations.  

I think most people don't enjoy being the center of attention but for the most part it isn't too hard.  You smile, say " Thank you ", maybe throw in an extra " This blanket is so soft " and go about your opening.  

Please know, I do not intend to sound harsh but these are the questions that came to mind.

JessaRex

this is just what works for me, i was posting this to give people ideas that they could change to suit them because as i had said, everyone is different. also it is an open house event for me so opening at entry allows the person to leave if they need to without feeling that they HAVE to stay through the present opening etc. they do have the ability to request a group opening for their item (some people do like to show boat), but i prefer to not be sitting on a stool in front of everyone when a few of them are just checking their watches thinking about all of the other things they need to get done, i will not force people to feel anxious over the fact that they have needs but dont want to feel rude by just leaving because their kids have needs or they have work to get to.

i have a finger food station set up, so id only be picking at food really as the 4 hours goes by. i am the type to greet people upon arrival, and the square footage of the room allows for easy access to the entry way as it is 100% open concept. i would make the offer to either open at that point in time in case they have things to do (a lot of people tend to shy away from events because they cant make it on time or because they would have to leave early, so this is to accommodate them as much as it is to make myself feel less awkward by sitting on a pedestal). this cuts down the time i would be sitting with eyes on me and like i said, they have the choice to stay for the full 4 hours or to leave and not feel awkward about leaving (life does happen).

the reason i prefer to do things this way is i get major anxiety to the point that i do tend to break down and i had once before feinted when giving a speech in front of a class, so i am simply trying to avoid all of this. its weird how i get like that when i am the soul focus of a large group (we are currently expecting 100+ people to my shower), but in a dinner conversation when with people if im talking and 10 or so people are looking at me, im fine...

JessaRex

Linsbins said:

I am an introvert too and had a hard time at my bridal shower. Just a suggestion/question- with the gifts, could you open 2-3 after each game when the giver is still there? That way people get to see gift opening but the attention isn't all on you for too long. Opening and setting gifts on a table is slightly odd imo, and you may get stuck doing the whole dog and pony show at the beginning of a bunch of people show up when it starts, which is what you don't want.

it could work that way and it is a thought i had given consideration, but then i thought about what if people have to leave unexpectedly? and of course, if everyone shows up at one time, there isnt really a way around opening things one at a time quietly. at that point i would offer the option to those who plan to leave before the end that i could open it at that point, and then i can do small bunches at a time. the placing on the table for display is more of a place to put the stuff once open than to be like "look what i got!". this is because the people who will be helping me with getting the stuff to my house will be at the diaper party (baby shower for men) because 1 the DH wants to have his own involvement (and an excuse to break out the bbq with his buddies instead of being loaded with questions by the women and surrounded by pink and purple frilly things and women cooing at little items, his words not mine lol), and 2 my dad feels too awkward at "those womens events" despite the fact that the bar is an option for him and the other guys lol

but yes, the gift opening idea i had is a little flawed and im thankful you mentioned that, it will be something to look into, but im thinking ill give an option to open at arrival and maybe get a bulk of it off the table to at LEAST minimize the time i spend on the stool. the after games idea would work if it wasnt so much of an open house event, but because it is, the timetable for the games is spread out to accomodate peoples needs to leave/arrive while still participate and would put me on the stool more times than i think i could handle...

CharminglySouthern

If your anxiety is so bad that it prevents you from acting like a gracious adult, perhaps foregoing a shower would have been better. Sure "it works for you" in theory, but it sounds a little more than awkward for the reasons the above poster mentioned and those same reasons make it also appear a little gift grabby.

wassuphoes

I think you'll find a majority of your guests still show at the scheduled start time, but I am happy to hear you are planning on opening gifts and not doing on of those "display showers"

I hope this works out for you and that you have a nice time, but realistically I think the best ways for an introvert to deal with a baby shower is keep the guest list small, have cake served during gift opening, and do the buzzer game during gift opening as well.

JessaRex

well that was a little rude. i can handle some things just not in excessive. i can make it work for myself one way and others another way. i never said my way had to seem appropriate to everyone. everyone attending is family and really close friends of mine and they are all aware of my social issue/public attention. it was actually them that gave me the idea. so yes, i will be "acting like a gracious adult" but i will be doing it in a way that fits me. Have a nice day

JessaRex

wassuphoes said:

I think you'll find a majority of your guests still show at the scheduled start time, but I am happy to hear you are planning on opening gifts and not doing on of those "display showers"

I hope this works out for you and that you have a nice time, but realistically I think the best ways for an introvert to deal with a baby shower is keep the guest list small, have cake served during gift opening, and do the buzzer game during gift opening as well.

i like these ideas, but its a huge problem when your family is massive on one side, huge on the other, then the fathers family on both of his sides are also massive, plus he has a step mom and step dad that are also important to him and their families want in. on top of that im adopted and also highly involved with them and their families are also large, plus i have biological siblings on a large count... its hard to keep it small in a family that just aunts and uncles reach over 60, then there is his siblings and so on. its over 100 and we didnt even invite cousins, though we are sure that there will be some that tag along with their moms and children are an automatic at times due to cost of sitters and some moms are single and dads arent in pictures, it gets hard to disclude without offending

Linsbins

I hope you come back and let us know how this all goes. That's a lot of gifts for you to stop what you're doing and open as people come in. Just curious, do you not like capital letters?

bsckgb7

In the South we have "teas".  The are typically used for weddings and not babies.  But they are from typically on Sunday afternoon, people can come and  go as they please, no stupid games, and presents are opened elsewhere and left on display (gifts are taken from the guest as they arrive).  This allows the guest of honor to mingle and visit with her guests.  These are very common and usually preferred for weddings.  Just not typically for babies.    

JessaRex

lol yea the capitol letter thing is a habit that i know i need to break. im really accustomed to using word processor and going back to edit everything every time isn't one of my favorite things to do, but i know its a bad habit that i need to break. usually if im not doing a million things at once i'll go back and fix it, but life happens, and usually when im on the computer its cause i have a couple of seconds to spare before getting more chores or cooking done

JessaRex

also, i know it is a lot of people to greet, my logic is flawed, and it does need to be revised, but its the best i can do right now. i may just do what i can to cut down the time im up front by offering it as an option for those that know that they will be leaving early, but i do have it more set up as a social event that is more of a jeans, tshirt, biker jacket, cowboy boots event (i don't have a traditional family on any side at all lol), so im just trying to make everyone comfortable without compromising my own sanity

JessaRex

i think i like the southern ideas that were just mentioned by bsckgb7, its very different from what we do up here in the northern areas, but i like different

wassuphoes

JessaRex said:

wassuphoes said:

I think you'll find a majority of your guests still show at the scheduled start time, but I am happy to hear you are planning on opening gifts and not doing on of those "display showers"

I hope this works out for you and that you have a nice time, but realistically I think the best ways for an introvert to deal with a baby shower is keep the guest list small, have cake served during gift opening, and do the buzzer game during gift opening as well.

i like these ideas, but its a huge problem when your family is massive on one side, huge on the other, then the fathers family on both of his sides are also massive, plus he has a step mom and step dad that are also important to him and their families want in. on top of that im adopted and also highly involved with them and their families are also large, plus i have biological siblings on a large count... its hard to keep it small in a family that just aunts and uncles reach over 60, then there is his siblings and so on. its over 100 and we didnt even invite cousins, though we are sure that there will be some that tag along with their moms and children are an automatic at times due to cost of sitters and some moms are single and dads arent in pictures, it gets hard to disclude without offending

I always find it, amusing when people say they don't want any hurt feelings over the guest list for a baby shower. I can't imagine being offended at not being invited to a shower. If I'm not invited and I still want to send a gift, I do so anyway. I don't need to be invited to a shower to gift someone, and a shower is well, not a milestone life event like a wedding (which even then, if I'm not invited I'm not invited, life marches on) I can understand feeling slighted if you split up families ( i.e. you invite every aunt except 1 on one side of the family) but I think people overthink this. 

I'm not trying to dig at you, it comes up as an excuse often on this board and site when people say they can't cut back the shower guest list. And I personally find it baffling. 

That said, if your hosts know you are so anxious at parties, why on earth didn't they split up the showers, and do one for each family/their family only? If one big event was somehow easier I suppose that makes sense, but ugh, as an outsider who knows nothing about your family dynamic, it's like you guys came up with the most complicated solution to a relatively simple problem.

VOR

My job puts me up in front of people.  I'm used to being the center of attention.  But even with that. I still HATED the gift opening.  I felt so weird to be opening presents in front of all these people.  So I feel you on that.

But honestly, to follow on what Disney said, in your effort to make the gifts less of a focus, I think they become more of a focus.  I think most people will probably show up at the start time and what do you do when 5 people walk in at once, then while you're opening their gifts, 5 more people walk in.... and so on and so forth.  You're stuck in one spot opening gifts while everyone is off mingling.  And you may not have the "help" with the gifts that you would at a designated gift opening time.  (meaning having someone hand you the gift, write down who gave you what, take the paper from you and then also take the gift from you while you move on to the next gift). 

Some advice I'll give you IF you want to consider doing a gift opening - try to make it feel "mingly" - as in, maybe have dessert put out shortly after it starts and people can get up and go get dessert or coffee.  Have music playing.  With other noise going on, this will hopefully keep people talking to each other too and not just staring at you (this is a lesson learned- I went to a shower where there was no music and people felt weird talking so the gift opening- we just sat there in total silence.  It was painful, TBH.)

Just some things to think about. 

JessaRex

it was originally set as a 2-party event, but then time got crunched (there were complications that came up that had us canceling the one last month and in a short time in the city im in, its not easy finding another place that isnt booked, and with the house of that side of the family being in the middle of mass renovation and not wanting to put anyone else on the spot, expanding the second event was just the most convenient at the time... i have the worst luck for things going as planned lol)

then money became an issue for one side (cancer has no regard for current life events. thankfully she is recovering well) and the other offered to pull extra on that so they decided to split after on the cost of things, which made it a bit easier for the one side.

also one had experience with planning parties and the other was running around with her head cut off and asking for her advice and help as it was..

all in all, i came to the mind set of 'my baby their shower' and am letting them plan things as they like and i'm just trying to slip things in that will make me feel ok in such a huge setting of people. basically "hold on for the ride" lol, not that i mind, cause i really dont

JessaRex

VOR said:

My job puts me up in front of people.  I'm used to being the center of attention.  But even with that. I still HATED the gift opening.  I felt so weird to be opening presents in front of all these people.  So I feel you on that.

But honestly, to follow on what Disney said, in your effort to make the gifts less of a focus, I think they become more of a focus.  I think most people will probably show up at the start time and what do you do when 5 people walk in at once, then while you're opening their gifts, 5 more people walk in.... and so on and so forth.  You're stuck in one spot opening gifts while everyone is off mingling.  And you may not have the "help" with the gifts that you would at a designated gift opening time.  (meaning having someone hand you the gift, write down who gave you what, take the paper from you and then also take the gift from you while you move on to the next gift). 

Some advice I'll give you IF you want to consider doing a gift opening - try to make it feel "mingly" - as in, maybe have dessert put out shortly after it starts and people can get up and go get dessert or coffee.  Have music playing.  With other noise going on, this will hopefully keep people talking to each other too and not just staring at you (this is a lesson learned- I went to a shower where there was no music and people felt weird talking so the gift opening- we just sat there in total silence.  It was painful, TBH.)

Just some things to think about. 

if i were doing the planning i would probably do it that way. i did bring this up to the 2 planning women, but it got shut down with a bunch of reasons they had, so like i said, im basically going along for the ride. i will admit that it seems to be more catered to the guests than the actual shower, for sure. as i said, my baby, their shower. i gave up trying to get everything i wanted in, it was causing more stress than was worth.

my idea of a perfect shower would have been a month ago in a park (or outdoors in general) doing a bbq and just having a casual time, nothing traditional (i hate hate hate traditional), im not a dress person, i prefer jeans and t-shirt events. id have liked to have broken up the present opening to be honest. the plans that i had posted are those of my mom and the fathers mom, mine got thwarted when complications came up last month and things got out of control (see previous reply by me)

Elsa1984

As someone that has a massive family and everyone was invited, I can tell you that I had about that amount of people and it took almost an hour for me to open everything. In all honesty, I wish I would have had separate showers. Especially since my mom was micro-managing everything and wanted me to do all of the gifts AFTER everyone ate, and wouldn't let me stop in the middle (so the lower half of my body was completely numb after sitting in a wooden rocking chair for almost an hour). Since everyone had already eaten before gift opening started, they had nothing to do but sit there and watch me open every gift, and then after ALL of the gifts were opened, dessert was served. I wish the poor ladies that were sitting there watching me open them, were able to at least have something to snack on while they were doing so, instead of just sitting there. And then it would have made me feel a little better, knowing that all eyes weren't on me because they were eating or talking with the person next to them about random stuff. Instead, everyone sat there staring, and it was a very uncomfortable hour for me. No music, no eating, no talking....just silently staring.....all 100 of them.

I can't even remember what I even said after each gift, as I am not one of those ones who will "coo" either. I am sure there was a lot of "These are so awesome!" and "This is so great!" type comments coming out of my mouth, but I was so nervous/anxious, I don't even remember. 

The opening of the gifts that the door (like you are describing) sounds weird to me, as like the previous poster mentioned, it could end up as a cluster of people in the entryway, standing there waiting (with all of their stuff...coats, purses, etc), and it is already hard for the MTB to get to everyone during a shower anyway (it just like when a bride and groom end up not even getting to some guests by the end of their reception because there are so many), the last thing you want to do is keep yourself in the entryway. My friend hated opening gifts as well, but she knew that everyone was coming to see that. So the shower was planned for plenty of breaks in the gift opening part, so that way she could have a little bit of a break and get her anxiety under control. They mingled, opened a few gifts, got food, opened gifts while eating (and people weren't paying as much attention), did a few games, passed out dessert, and while everyone was eating dessert, she opened the rest, and then it was more mingling. 

JessaRex

Elsa1984 said:

As someone that has a massive family and everyone was invited, I can tell you that I had about that amount of people and it took almost an hour for me to open everything. In all honesty, I wish I would have had separate showers. Especially since my mom was micro-managing everything and wanted me to do all of the gifts AFTER everyone ate, and wouldn't let me stop in the middle (so the lower half of my body was completely numb after sitting in a wooden rocking chair for almost an hour). Since everyone had already eaten before gift opening started, they had nothing to do but sit there and watch me open every gift, and then after ALL of the gifts were opened, dessert was served. I wish the poor ladies that were sitting there watching me open them, were able to at least have something to snack on while they were doing so, instead of just sitting there. And then it would have made me feel a little better, knowing that all eyes weren't on me because they were eating or talking with the person next to them about random stuff. Instead, everyone sat there staring, and it was a very uncomfortable hour for me. No music, no eating, no talking....just silently staring.....all 100 of them.

I can't even remember what I even said after each gift, as I am not one of those ones who will "coo" either. I am sure there was a lot of "These are so awesome!" and "This is so great!" type comments coming out of my mouth, but I was so nervous/anxious, I don't even remember. 

The opening of the gifts that the door (like you are describing) sounds weird to me, as like the previous poster mentioned, it could end up as a cluster of people in the entryway, standing there waiting (with all of their stuff...coats, purses, etc), and it is already hard for the MTB to get to everyone during a shower anyway (it just like when a bride and groom end up not even getting to some guests by the end of their reception because there are so many), the last thing you want to do is keep yourself in the entryway. My friend hated opening gifts as well, but she knew that everyone was coming to see that. So the shower was planned for plenty of breaks in the gift opening part, so that way she could have a little bit of a break and get her anxiety under control. They mingled, opened a few gifts, got food, opened gifts while eating (and people weren't paying as much attention), did a few games, passed out dessert, and while everyone was eating dessert, she opened the rest, and then it was more mingling. 

i like the idea of breaking it up. if it were a dinner event then i would most certainly do it that way. the 2 grandma's to be have it set for 1-4 pm though so its right between. the cost of that many dinners was way more than they could afford to pay without having to borrow. we did try to get in at a place that was a bit more affordable, but everywhere that we were trying to book at was either booked right up till after i would have had the baby or they werent available on days that would work for me or the 2 planning (it had to be a sunday, both women work monday-saturday and i have a number of appointments during the week (not just for the baby), plus my mums surgery plus therapy and so on i really do wish for an easier one, but we have to make the best of the situations that we are handed

MercyC1130

@VOR I very much like your ideas for a "mingly" gift opening. I'm terrible at being center of attention and especially at people watching me open gifts. However, personally I don't think OPs solution for that would ever work for me. Like you and PPs said, trying to take the focus away will make it more obvious.
This might be a dorky question, but do you have any ideas as to what kind of music to play as background kind of tunes? Should I just leave it up to my hosts or mention it to them?

Designermomma

I am also an introvert and luckily had a smaller shower of 35 people. I started sweating and feeling claustrophobic mainly because the room was way too small for that amount of people. We eloped so I never had a traditional wedding (don't think I could handle all the people watching me at a ceremony) or shower until my first baby shower. Interestingly, I got kind of upset that no one was paying attention to the gift opening part and people were talking loudly that I couldn't even thank the person verbally and/or show off the cute funny outfit. With the amount of people at your shower, you won't have time for all that anyway and people will understand. I hope it works out well and at least it'll all be over in one day rather than spreading the anxiety over several weeks. Good luck!

VOR

MercyC1130 said:

 
This might be a dorky question, but do you have any ideas as to what kind of music to play as background kind of tunes? Should I just leave it up to my hosts or mention it to them?

Something upbeat w/ without words.  Maybe something jazz like?  Just something so that when it's quiet, it's not DEAD QUIET.   

MercyC1130

VOR said:

MercyC1130 said:

 
This might be a dorky question, but do you have any ideas as to what kind of music to play as background kind of tunes? Should I just leave it up to my hosts or mention it to them?

Something upbeat w/ without words.  Maybe something jazz like?  Just something so that when it's quiet, it's not DEAD QUIET.   

Yeah, that'll be perfect.
A soundtrack of crickets chirping would be hilarious though

jennylynn103

bsckgb7 said:

In the South we have "teas".  The are typically used for weddings and not babies.  But they are from typically on Sunday afternoon, people can come and  go as they please, no stupid games, and presents are opened elsewhere and left on display (gifts are taken from the guest as they arrive).  This allows the guest of honor to mingle and visit with her guests.  These are very common and usually preferred for weddings.  Just not typically for babies.    

I don't know that that is a universally Southern thing. I've lived in Georgia my whole life and have very traditionally Southern mother/MIL/grandparents, and while we have had teas (bridesmaid teas, for example) or have had showers at tea houses, I've never seen them set up as a drop in shower where the guest of honor doesn't open gifts.

Bigboobsmcgee

You are having more than 100 people at your shower?! And it's a 4 hour event?! Doesn't matter if this is labeled as an "open house"...that is nuts.

The whole thing honestly sounds so overwhelming for the GUESTS. I understand you are an introvert and you are claiming that you are doing all these things regarding the party to be mindful of your guests but it all sounds like more of a hassle for your guests than anything else.

I'm sure you'll get mad and tell me I'm rude but I'm giving my opinion anyways.

Disneygeek77

Yeah, I think this is one of those "sounded like a good idea at the time situations" but the reality will be worse than a traditional shower timeline. I see guests getting frustrated because they have to stand around holding their gift as opposed to sitting comfortably in a chair. I see other guests becoming tired of standing in line and putting their gift on the table, walking away  and miss her opening their gift. Some will be bored and have nothing else to do besides stand around and watch her open gifts and the op will feel even more awkward now because she will pick up on her guests frustrations.

What if you do like others suggested and 

• have music playing while opening gifts.
  
• serve cake during the gift opening
• play gift bingo
• pass the gifts around so others can see
• pass a book of advice or words of encouragement around
  

Maybe not do all of the above, but a combination of two or three might make the gift opening more enganging and the focus will be less on you and more on fellowshiping together.

OliveOyl2014

As a guest I would be put off by this situation. What if I happen to get there at the same time as 10 other people? I have to stand in line and wait my turn for you to open the gift? It comes off more as you being the center of attention than if you opened in front of a group.

Also, and this might be an unpopular opinion, I don't understand the people who are so uncomfortable opening gifts in front of family and friends. These are people you have known a long time, not complete strangers. If your anxiety is that bad, then decline the shower.

CharminglySouthern

OliveOyl2014 said:

As a guest I would be put off by this situation. What if I happen to get there at the same time as 10 other people? I have to stand in line and wait my turn for you to open the gift? It comes off more as you being the center of attention than if you opened in front of a group.

Also, and this might be an unpopular opinion, I don't understand the people who are so uncomfortable opening gifts in front of family and friends. These are people you have known a long time, not complete strangers. If your anxiety is that bad, then decline the shower.

I agree I simply don't understand. Showers are for your nearest and dearest. How can you not manage to open gifts in front of those that are closest to you? If your anxiety is that bad, you should skip the shower.

GracieHart

Yeah I agree with PPs. I think this may have initially sounded like a good idea but in reality, it's not.

If you're truly that uncomfortable with the idea of a shower, I'd decline altogether. Everything you've mentioned sounds like its going to end up not going as smoothly as you think.

Gingermom15

Although I think you have good intentions with your idea of opening gifts as they come, I agree with PP's that it just isn't practical. At my shower yesterday there were a ton of bags with multiple items in them. The gift giver wants to see you open it and pull out each item. This takes a lot more time than you are likely anticipating. I was not excited about sitting in front of everybody and opening every gift, posing with some for a picture and all that. But it really wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated, I noticed the majority of people only paid attention when it came to their gift. Have something going on while you're opening gifts, the bingo game is a great idea. My shower was a cookout and coed, my SO was so excited to be a part of everything. He's a lot more outgoing than I am and we took turns opening gifts. He opened from his family and I opened from mine, there was a football game playing that most people half paid attention to. It ended up being very light hearted and fun, I enjoyed myself and so did the guests. What the host put together worked very well for our social circle. Might I suggest thinking about what your guests would enjoy and finding an alternative to your original plan? Have something for them to do, especially with so many people. I wouldn't want to sit for an hour watching someone open gift after gift when I could be eating cake.

VOR

I replied w/o realizing you're talking about 100 people.  Yeah- if you do the "open the gifts as people show up", you'll be standing in one spot almost the entire time ONLY opening gifts.  because it's not just opening, it's talking to the guest about your pregnancy, but then you want to be polite so you ask them how they're doing and.... well, 10 minutes later, you have another 20 people waiting.

I get your intentions - I do.  But having an official "gift opening" is actually LESS time consuming than anything else and while, initially, all eyes will be on you- TRUST ME, as you get going, people will start to talk to each other, get up to get something to drink, etc.  In the end, people really onll want to see THEIR gift opened.

Corts

I would much rather throw my gift in a big cardboard box labeled "DROP PREZUNT HEAR" then go through this rigaramo. Please re-think this idea.

cherryonion

Having someone else to write down who brought what so you can write your thank yous is essential! You will never remember, and things will get all piled together pretty much immediately. So you will need a shadow for the entire shower with this plan.