What do you think?

paperbag1959 · October 2015

I am 18 years old and want a baby very badly idk why I want a baby but I do.. I know this is a huge responsibility but I've done my home work on been around kids before, I just really want a child to love unconditionally. ♥

paperbag1959 · October 2015

.

bsckgb7 · October 2015

paperbag1959 said:

I am 18 years old and want a baby very badly idk why I want a baby but I do.. I know this is a huge responsibility but I've done my home work on been around kids before, I just really want a child to love unconditionally. ♥

QFP

MamaBish · October 2015

I think it's a bad idea. Wait a few years. Build your life.
Babies are expensive and time consuming, like REALLY expensive and time consuming.

Daycare, diapers, formula, food, clothes, medical expenses, crib, carseat, toys, a home. None of that is cheap.

Wait a few years to give yourself time to grow and establish yourself and your life, your future kids will thank you for it.

chanfa · October 2015

What @mamabish said and maybe you should start with a pet if you want something/one to love unconditionally now.

nlwz123 · October 2015

Just, no.

ShallowSeas · October 2015

I think you have no idea what you could be getting yourself into. I think a lot of people 10+ years older than you feel like they don't know what they could be getting themselves into. Its a huge decision. Being around kids =/= having kids. Get a degree, get a stable, good paying job, start a savings account, get your own place, make sure you have health insurance, FMLA, short term disability, be independent from your parents.

Get a kitten.

sarah0985 · October 2015

You can also love a dog, cat, friend, so unconditionally as well. I'm sorry but that's just not always the greatest reason to have a child. Do you have a full time job? Do you have a committed so? Do you have your own place? Do you have family that can help you out emotionally? ( I live in a transient society where majority of my friends do not have family around. They're married and make decent salaries and not having the support of family still makes it difficult. They all wish they had family around especially in the infant stages when it's easier to ask your mom to help you out then friends. Obviously not impossible to do just a point to consider)

There's a ton of things to consider besides that you want to love a child.

sarah0985 · October 2015

paperbag1959 said:
I am 18 years old and want a baby very badly idk why I want a baby but I do.. I know this is a huge responsibility but I've done my home work on been around kids before, I just really want a child to love unconditionally. ♥

Also. Qfp

0Face · October 2015

I very much doubt that you'll really take any of our advice, but if you do, know that we're giving it from a perspective of tough love or whatever you put into that wonky calculator.

We've all been 18, and some of us have been mothers at 18 and know personally how difficult it was and can be. Please take our advice, but if not, Good Luck either way.

chanfa · October 2015

The OPs second post with the screenshot looks... suspect

lionstigersbears · October 2015

Lurker...signature warning

I really hope OP comes back to read responses. I think we can all relate to wanting a baby, but you don't know why you do. You just do. That's not good enough. Just wanting a baby will not get you through the exhaustion of first trimester, the discomfort of the third, the pain of childbirth, the dependence and sleeplessness of newborn days, and the sacrifices that come with motherhood. Don't get me wrong, starting a family is an incredible stage of life, but be ready enough to do right by your child and enjoy it no matter what challenges are sure to come.

MrsRo731 · October 2015

Katm89 · October 2015

PocketFullofShells said:

Babies having babies? I vote no. Listen to PPs - they are wise. Your brain is not fully developed. You are not done growing and developing. I know you feel like an adult, but physiologically you are not an adult until approximately 25 years old. Having a baby at your age is a bad idea fueled by under developed impulse controls.

I agree with PocketFullofShells for the most part. First off, because you are coming onto the internet asking if you are crazy for wanting a baby at 18...

but @PocketFullofShells not everyone develops the same.. and saying 25 years old is when you become an adult can be quite offensive to people who make major life decisions younger than that... For example I'm sure a lot of people here are under 25 and ttc. I'm 26, but I married at 21. Your comment implies that my decision to marry or other peoples decisions are not valid because we are not yet adults. I'm sure you didn't mean it this way, but I figured I would let you know how it was certainly taken.

MissAmeliaPond · October 2015

That is not a good reason to want a baby. Adopt a pet instead. Dogs make very good "babies".

fitlady21 · October 2015

Katm89 said:

PocketFullofShells said:

Babies having babies?

I vote no. Listen to PPs - they are wise.

Your brain is not fully developed. You are not done growing and developing. I know you feel like an adult, but physiologically you are not an adult until approximately 25 years old.

Having a baby at your age is a bad idea fueled by under developed impulse controls.

I agree with PocketFullofShells for the most part. First off, because you are coming onto the internet asking if you are crazy for wanting a baby at 18...

but @PocketFullofShells not everyone develops the same.. and saying 25 years old is when you become an adult can be quite offensive to people who make major life decisions younger than that... For example I'm sure a lot of people here are under 25 and ttc. I'm 26, but I married at 21. Your comment implies that my decision to marry or other peoples decisions are not valid because we are not yet adults. I'm sure you didn't mean it this way, but I figured I would let you know how it was certainly taken.

^^agreed. I got married at 20 and am very successful with school and work. Everyone matures at a different age.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · October 2015

fitlady21 said:

PocketFullofShells said:

Babies having babies? I vote no. Listen to PPs - they are wise. Your brain is not fully developed. You are not done growing and developing. I know you feel like an adult, but physiologically you are not an adult until approximately 25 years old. Having a baby at your age is a bad idea fueled by under developed impulse controls.

I agree with PocketFullofShells for the most part. First off, because you are coming onto the internet asking if you are crazy for wanting a baby at 18...

but @PocketFullofShells not everyone develops the same.. and saying 25 years old is when you become an adult can be quite offensive to people who make major life decisions younger than that... For example I'm sure a lot of people here are under 25 and ttc. I'm 26, but I married at 21. Your comment implies that my decision to marry or other peoples decisions are not valid because we are not yet adults. I'm sure you didn't mean it this way, but I figured I would let you know how it was certainly taken.

^^agreed. I got married at 20 and am very successful with school and work. Everyone matures at a different age.

She said physiologically, and for a reason. Science indicates the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25, when the prefrontal cortex fully matures. That doesn't mean that people under the age of 25 are incapable of making good decisions or displaying maturity. G-d knows some people who are 45 can't do either. All she was saying is that scientifically, you're not fully developed into an adult until 25.

That said PP, there is a lot of life to be lived for an 18 year old before having a baby. And also, if you need unconditional love that much, in addition to a pet, you may need some counseling if you feel you haven't received it before in your life and it's clearly impacting you now.

Mlight28 · October 2015

No.

TheBorg7of9 · October 2015

paperbag1959 said:

I am 18 years old and want a baby very badly idk why I want a baby but I do.. I know this is a huge responsibility but I've done my home work on been around kids before, I just really want a child to love unconditionally. ♥

Sounds like a great idea with no downsides.... oh wait, no, this is a terrible idea. Buy a dog to love unconditionally. Go to a therapist at your school to talk about other ways to feel loved and loving. Volunteer to hold preemie babies at the hospital. Study to become a teacher. Work at a day care center. Become a Big Sister through Big Brothers and Sisters.

If you have done your homework, then you surely know how much insurance will not cover for the birth of your baby. I had to pay around $3,000 out of pocket. And there are a million other things to consider. How will you pay for that? Is your BF on board. How much money does he make. Do you plan to work after having the baby? Do you even have insurance. Where do you live. What will you do if you or your BF loses your job. What will you do if your BF changes his mind after you are pregnant?

Katm89 · October 2015

@LoveIsOwlYouNeed I also said I know she didn't mean it that way, but it can be taken that way... and just an FYI for people who do make decisions earlier than 25... its a bit dismissive like "oh scientifically speaking you can't make decisions clearly yet"

chrlyr · October 2015

Start small. Get a hermit crab or a fish. Given the maturity level indicated by the calculator art, getting a dog might be aiming a bit high.

Katm89 · October 2015

LOL @chrlyr

lionstigersbears · October 2015

Without more information from the 0P I think it's reasonable to fall back on the scientific brain development data as a basis for the 100% agreement that this is an awful idea. Sure, if the original poster had said that she is employed, insured, saving for retirement, well-traveled, yada yada yada it may be dismissive but given the context I don't take if offensively (even as someone who married at 24).

PeggyOlsonFTW · October 2015

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/are-you-ready-to-have-kids-after-you-read-this-maybe-not/story-fnet085v-1226500918083

Katm89 · October 2015

@PocketFullofShells If you look at my first comment you will see that I agreed with the sentiment that she shouldn't try to have a baby at 18....

ShallowSeas · October 2015

I also feel like if you have to ask internet strangers if it's a good idea...

probably not a good idea.

lalalorelai · October 2015

ashbear720 said:

That is not a good reason to want a baby. Adopt a pet instead. Dogs make very good "babies".

Uh, as a dog lover, please don't jump right to a dog. Maybe a nice plant?

chanfa · October 2015

lalalorelai said:

ashbear720 said:

That is not a good reason to want a baby. Adopt a pet instead. Dogs make very good "babies".

Uh, as a dog lover, please don't jump right to a dog. Maybe a nice plant?

Pet rock?

ShallowSeas · October 2015

chanfa said:

lalalorelai said:

ashbear720 said:

That is not a good reason to want a baby. Adopt a pet instead. Dogs make very good "babies".

Uh, as a dog lover, please don't jump right to a dog. Maybe a nice plant?

Pet rock?

tomagotchi? OP is probably too young to remember those.

chanfa · October 2015

OMG I had like 5 of those @severmilli2

Katm89 · October 2015

@PocketFullofShells nvm... offend away

ShallowSeas · October 2015

@chanfa I loved them! I'm wearing mine around my neck like a necklace in my 4th grade yearbook picture...before they were sadly banned by the school.

chanfa · October 2015

@severmilli2 haha I had them all on a keychain attached to my pants like I was the coolest kid on the block.

vampirina · October 2015

I think.... this is MUD.

In case it's not, don't have a baby. If you need to ask random internet strangers if you can pretty please have one, then no, you should not.

Katm89 · October 2015

@PocketFullofShells sorry, my bad I just thought you were being sarcastic and not trying to be understanding. I would have said that " people develop differently science indicates that your brain at 18 is not finished developing, that being said if you think you are ready for a baby I don't think you would be asking a bunch of strangers if you should have a child. Part of being an adult is sticking with your decisions and making up your mind about your life without the approval of a bunch of strangers... because truth is there are people out there that are ready... but from everything this post has shown us... you are not ready to be a mother yet..."

Although I will say I think its sweet that she wants a baby... I just don't think she understands what its actually like to have one. I think a mature person would be a little nervous about that life step because they know how intense it truly is.

PrettyPalomino · October 2015

Personally if I had gotten KU at 23 it would have still felt like a teen pregnancy... you're ready when you're ready! Could be 20 could be 35!

Yep Nano and Tamagotchi highly recommended for OP!

Katm89 · October 2015

@PocketFullofShells there is a thing called Tact you know:

tact

takt/

noun

noun: tact

adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.

"the inspector broke the news to me with tact and consideration"

synonyms:

diplomacy, tactfulness, sensitivity, understanding, thoughtfulness, consideration, delicacy, discretion, prudence, judiciousness, subtlety, savoir faire;

informalsavvy

Lulucooks · October 2015

Katm89 said:
@PocketFullofShells there is a thing called Tact you know:

tact
takt/
noun
noun: tact
adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.
"the inspector broke the news to me with tact and consideration"
synonyms: diplomacy, tactfulness, sensitivity, understanding, thoughtfulness, consideration, delicacy, discretion, prudence, judiciousness, subtlety, savoir faire;
informalsavvy

Putting the defenition of a word as your response is the exact opposite of tact.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · October 2015

severmilli12 said:

I also feel like if you have to ask internet strangers if it's a good idea...

probably not a good idea.

Katm89 · October 2015

@lulucooks I tried actually being tactful and giving PocketFullofShells the benefit of the doubt... but that doesn't work.. just being honest... too bad its her problem if its offensive...

BostonBaby1 · October 2015

Katm89 said:
@PocketFullofShells there is a thing called Tact you know:

tact
takt/
noun
noun: tact
adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.
"the inspector broke the news to me with tact and consideration"
synonyms: diplomacy, tactfulness, sensitivity, understanding, thoughtfulness, consideration, delicacy, discretion, prudence, judiciousness, subtlety, savoir faire;
informalsavvy

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