What do you think?

Kristin712

@PocketFullofShells is a long-time regular and full of great advice. She may be snarky in other posts, but all I see here is the use of science to support her advice for the OP.

To those who were offended: The advice given was to the OP and her situation as it was presented in the initial post. OP asked the community for feedback specific to her life, not yours.

MissAmeliaPond

severmilli12 said:

chanfa said:

lalalorelai said:

ashbear720 said:

That is not a good reason to want a baby. Adopt a pet instead. Dogs make very good "babies". 

Uh, as a dog lover, please don't jump right to a dog. Maybe a nice plant? 

Pet rock?


tomagotchi? OP is probably too young to remember those.

Guise. If OP adopts a dog out of a *kill* shelter, the dog will automatically have a better life. However, I see that tamagotchi is clearly the best suggestion that's been made.

tripledaggerWed95976

I say this is MUD... 18 years old or not, one actually asks internet strangers if they should have a baby.

chrlyr

OP asked for opinions (hence the title of post - "What do you think?"). @PocketFullofShells offered hers. If you would make or have made a different decision than she would, great. Her opinion is not a criticism of you. 

BostonBaby1

OP- Here is my opinion. Wait. Learn to love yourself unconditionally and know that you're worthy of giving and receiving love. Further your education and achieve financial and most importantly emotional stability. Then, when your life is completely full and stable reevaluate the situation.

momstahp

MUD.

I vote a Rocky Horror gif party!

chanfa

@momstahp

 

ButterMyBiscuit

chrlyr

momstahp

calfherder

Finally, some giffing!

DumbledoresArmy

How about a nice tamagotchi?

tripledaggerWed95976

PrimRoseMama

paperbag1959 said:

I am 18 years old and want a baby very badly idk why I want a baby but I do.. I know this is a huge responsibility but I've done my home work on been around kids before, I just really want a child to love unconditionally. ♥

I would wait if you think that you love your kid unconditionally all the time. Sometimes you get upset with them & sometimes parenting is the hardest thing ever. Don't romanticize it. This paragraph alone is indicative of your immaturity. A baby is not a plaything or accessory that you can just decide you don't want to play anymore when you are done or get frustrated.

Please wait.

JournoGrl23

Some people may be more mature than others at 18 and some grow up really fast, and therefore make great mothers at that age. But for most I feel it's too young. At least judging by the maturity level of myself at that age. I look back at some of the things I did throughout my college years and am astounded at the lack of maturity I had. Then again, I had fun and didn't need to act like an adult yet in that stage of my life. I'm 26 now and ready to have a baby. I crunched the numbers for months to see if DH and I could afford it, looked in to what maternity leave I could get and got all my check ups from my doctors to make sure I was healthy enough. And I have to say, I still worry from time to time I may not be fully prepared. I would advise waiting until you're fully settled and know who you are. Your best years are still ahead of you.

Bringmemylongswordho

Yeah no.

My stepsisters had a baby at 20. Wanted love, thought a family would keep her boyfriend with her, blah blah blah. Didn't work. Fuckboy knocked up a new sidepiece, wants nothing to do with his daughter and now stepsister is living with my parents, has no money, and very few career prospects because she dropped out of college. She's not a complete idiot, so she'll probably be fine in the long run, but the last 3 years and probably the next 5 to 10 years will suck. She doesn't get to have the fun, irresponsible years cause she has a baby. Any degree or certification she goes for will take longer because baby. There's always the chance fuck boy comes back to harass her because baby.

Don't do this. Don't be stupid.

letyourheartbeyourguide

OP, and I suppose any other people who are young and haven't gone to college yet:

Do you want/plan to go to college? Does your family have the ability to pay for your college education? Are you planning on working when you're in college?

I teach at a community college, and a number of my students have had kids in their teens or early 20s before finishing school. It's not impossible, obviously, but it's HARD. They're in school for all the right reasons - they're smart, they're motivated, and they want to better provide for their kids. But that's not always enough. When their baby is sick, they miss a test. When day care falls through, they miss class. When their baby is not sleeping through the night, they're too exhausted to study. And that's not even getting into the challenges of balancing school, kids, and working.

There simply isn't enough time or energy to do all things, let alone do them well. Many of my student parents end up dropping out of school and therefore continue to struggle financially. For many others it takes two or three times as long to finish school, hence more student loan debt and delays getting to quality employment.

You cannot just assume that your SO will take care of you and your baby. The biggest predictor of poverty for women is having children. You need to be financially stable and you need to have a long-term career plan in place. Even if you plan to stay home with children, you need a fall back plan just in case.

Tl;dr: get a career plan, go to and finish school if needed, get financially set, then think about having kids.

/end rant ... yay gifs

Bababatty

**Removed for TOU Violation** 

letyourheartbeyourguide

**Removed for TOU Violation** 

Aaaaand no QFP so no idea what was here. Ladies, if you're gonna report something to the BGs, at least QFP first so the rest of us know what's up.

chrlyr

This is one of those "If a tree falls in the forest..." moments. 

marajay6

letyourheartbeyourguide said:

MagnoliaRoseFern said:

**Removed for TOU Violation** 

Aaaaand no QFP so no idea what was here.

Ladies, if you're gonna report something to the BGs, at least QFP first so the rest of us know what's up.

Hmmm someday when I am bored, maybe I should creep other boards and put that removed message to confuse people...

tripledaggerWed95976

MagnoliaRoseFern said:

**Removed for TOU Violation** 

How did that get removed so quickly? Did anyone see what she said?

bumptara

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