What are your christmas plans? (vent included)

Hector33 · October 2015

So I will have a 3-4 week old by christmas and I originally told my family that they are welcome to come here for christmas but we will be going out for christmas lunch and they will need to find their own accommodation- If they did not want to do this I understood. None of my family want to go out for christmas lunch at a restaurant, yet don't want us to travel to them. My family are now suggesting that they come to our place and stay in their caravans and have roast chooks and salad for lunch. I really hate people staying at my house because I enjoy my space and a clean and organised house. I'm already stressing about the thought of people staying here at christmas time. Its fine that they don't want to go out for lunch but don't expect me to play host.

So how are you tackling the christmas holidays?

kepoole · October 2015

At most my baby should only be a week old. I plan to keep my normal Christmas tradition of having family dinner at my moms and staying the night and then "Santa" brings the kids their presents in the night. My 6 yr old is used to this and it's something I've always done. I am also not with my unborn baby's dad though. I've let his family know that I will gladly come over to their house Christmas afternoon for them to see the baby and my other daughter or they can come over in the afternoon for a few hours but I will not be breaking my own traditions and it will very much contingent on how I'm feeling.

Baby's dad has fallen off he wagon also and is not staying sober so right now it's literally me trying to involve his family still while he is off on a binge.

Mizuiro007 · October 2015

I'm honestly not sure what we're doing. The last few years things keep getting changed around so we never know anymore until a couple weeks before.

Usually we'd have a big gathering with all the aunts and uncles and cousins then a couple small gathers with gift opening at those so there isn't the pressure for anyone to buy as much. Last year it got crammed together.

I was looking forward to the small gathering again this year but I was recently told it will likely be moved to my brother and SIL's house. I don't want to drive 3-4 hrs with a newborn and one year old. We usually gather at the great grandparents house because they live halfway. This year brother and SIL are getting a big new house and want to show it off, plus she's due the end of January and I can understand not wanting to travel that far that late in pregnancy. I just still don't want to drive that far and honestly don't think we can afford to.

Either way I look forward to Christmas morning with just hubby and our babies. Any other stress around the holidays will not take away from that.

navyblueladybug · October 2015

I thought we were going to have a nice, more relaxing, quiet Christmas this year with mostly my family... Well, turns out my BIL and his family, who weren't supposed to come this year have decided to come because they want to meet DD. UGH! Not impressed. I hope they don't expect to see her too much and that their trip is a short one because I'm not interested in hauling her all over town and having 16 people touching and holding her (when they come to town, the whole family gathers where they are). DH's parents are divorced so that's always a complicated feat to try to get time in with his two sides and my side too. Blah!

spottedginger · October 2015

It depends on many factors that I have no control over (when baby comes, how we both do in delivery, how I'm sleeping). We told the family to make their own plans and depending on what was going on we'd join them or not, but not to count on us. We also made it clear from very early on that we were not hosting visitors or meals/events for the holiday. We got some resistance and grumbling at first, but having hubs on board with the plan and handling the follow up questions/ situations/ attempted planning from his family has helped immensely.

blended10 · October 2015

Best-case-scenario I'll be leaving the hosp Christmas Eve with my 3-day-old.
My mom & sibs will come to my place that evening & bring dinner, open gifts & leave when I ask. We are all very close & I'm pretty direct so no problems there. Also hubs is the best host there is so I won't have to worry about anything.
Christmas Day hubs & my 5-yr-old will go to mil's for gifts/early supper as we do every year- but I'll be home with the new baby. We'll open gifts together in the am before they leave.
That weekend anyone is welcome to stop in so long as they bring food & call first.
Now if I could just get my shopping done....

dec15mum · October 2015

I live with all my family at the moment so it's just going to be the same Christmas traditions thankfully, just with a 2 week old.
My SOs side want us up at theirs a few days after Christmas which I don't see happening but they don't want to visit me when he's born.
Tough luck, I'm not travelling when I've just given birth, trying to figure out breastfeeding and learning to be a mum.

stephaniearthurs · October 2015

Right now I'm living in the US and both mine and hubbies families are in Canada so we won't be seeing too many people. I'm not due until the 27th, so in all likelihood baby won't even be here yet. My Mom, step Dad, and 2 brothers are coming to visit, and be here for babies birth. Since there are no little ones yet (my brothers are 12 and 14) and I will be very pregnant, so we will keep things low key. It's almost a blessing not to have to worry about visiting other people! My mom will be a great help with house work and cooking, so I'm looking forward to that!

ammnam14 · October 2015

Can you have a small meal catered to save yourself from cooking/cleaning so much? I'm sorry they're pretty much forcing you to play host! I hope it all works out well for you.

My due date is Christmas so like PP said, baby might not even be here yet. We'll see what happens!

mltarrio · October 2015

I am due Christmas Day, so we have a plan for the holiday but the whole thing may fall apart. We usually travel a few hours to either my parents or my in-laws, but this travel won't be a good idea so close to the due date, so everyone is coming to us. Originally I was feeling really overwhelmed by the thought of hosting Christmas for 8 people in my 2 bedroom apartment while 9 months pregnant, but now I am rolling with it. I told everyone they had to stay in a hotel, and my Dad and I will share the cooking duty. It certainly won't be our regular Christmas traditions, and I may end up in labor and the whole thing will be rearranged, but it will be special and different.

Court11152325 · October 2015

My MIL decided to extend her visit from Dec 18-Dec 29, so we'll be hosting her for Christmas. My parents recently moved to town, so I imagine they will come over too. I think, I hope, it will be very low key and relaxing. I'm due Dec 17, so who knows we could have a Christmas baby. As long as someone makes some ribs around that time I will be pleased. The rest of our families will be making trips here from March through the summer, so not too much drama.

GalLaura · October 2015

I'm due the 13th. If the baby comes late roll be close to Xmas. I'm in the midst of deciding on a c section or vaginal birth. I had a large baby first time around and it seems like this one might be too. Anyway I'm living overseas and my mil lives 3 hours away. She was shattered when I said we probably wouldn't make it. I'm not interested in traveling that far with a newborn and possibly healing from a c section.

elbou · October 2015

I'm still trying to figure out a plan for Christmas. I'm due the 18th, but 2 of my current 3 were a week or more late, so I'm kind of expecting to go late again this time. I'm really hoping I won't be in the hospital on Christmas, but trying to mentally prepare myself for that possibility.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day we will be home. I have told both of our mothers that we won't be traveling this year, but they are welcome to come visit us as long as they bring food. My mom seemed to forget this when my side of the family was discussing dinner plans for Christmas this year (and we were home sick, and couldn't remind them!) so my family is planning a get-together on the 20th...possibly 2 hours away. I'm trying to decide whether to host everybody here, or skip it. I really don't want to miss it as we've already missed Thanksgiving this year. However, DH is insisting that if we host, we should be providing the main dish and wants me to cook it since it's my family. I'd rather do a side dish! Ugh...decisions, decisions.

momotheflyinglemur · October 2015

If baby comes on time or very near to on time he will be a few days or barely a week old, therefore, SO has prepared our family for not having us around for this Christmas. I am lucky that he is willing to put up thick, high walls around our new little family, so that we all can bond. :-)

However, if baby comes early, as I have a feeling he might, and he is a few weeks old by Christmas then, we will think about having direct family (our parents and siblings, as they all younger) over for a couple of hours on Christmas day. Luckily, our families are not demanding guests. We are not letting them know that being over for Christmas is even a possibilty until LO makes his debut.

VesperLove · October 2015

We have absolutely no plans. I'm due the 23rd so I have no idea where we are going to be on Christmas Eve (DH's family time) or Christmas Day (my family time). We've basically told family to fend for themselves and we'll join if we can ... and if they want to see us then can come to our house. They are not welcome to stay the night (and they know that) but they can come hang out if they want to.

redfallon · October 2015

Due 22nd. No plans to go anywhere or have anyone come here. Our families are 2 hrs (DH) and 6 hours (mine) away. The farthest we may go this year is Thanksgiving at his cousin's house that is 45 mins from us.

SIL is planning to come up to our house, but that is because we need someone to take care of DD while I'm in the hospital.

chewie5990 · October 2015

I'm due 12/14 so LO will be a little more than a week old if he comes on time. We currently live with my inlaws so we will have normal Christmas celebrations with them. DH is Mexican and they do more celebrations on Christmas Eve and his entire enormous family will probably want to hold LO which I am a little stressed about.

if I have a "normal" labor without complications and LO is doing okay then we will be driving 3 hours to see my family christmas day. We will stay for at least a week with my family so they have plenty time to spend with LO (my parents first grand baby and they live across the country so I don't know when we will see them again) My parents are making the 20 hr rd trip to my brothers house in Houston (I live in San Antonio) and we will all stay at my brothers house for about week.

daylynj · October 2015

I have no idea...and I'm due on the 5th. We always had both of our families (parents, siblings, friends who are in town) over for Christmas Eve, but I'm not planning too much, if anything at the moment. My FIL insists we are over Christmas Day, so I have a feeling thats what we will be doing, which isn't bad since they are only 20 minutes away and I won't have to cook. Not sure when we will get time with my family. I'm just going to not worry about it until it gets closer....

ToneGirl · October 2015

No plans. I'm due the 27th so no idea what will happen for Christmas. My parents usually host Christmas and they live only a few minutes away so still planning on going there either with the baby or still pregnant. I have a small family...no one lives out of town/state so it's pretty casual. My son will be with his dad some of the day and my step sons will be with their mom some of the day so that always gets a little tricky but everyone has been super understanding of our situation so it's a go with the flow/casual kind of year. I'm not too worried about it...just want my kids to have a nice day and hope I'm not in the hospital day of.

I agree with pp...maybe you can have it catered to cut down on the stress? That was the first thing I thought of. Good luck!

mhwood · October 2015

DD1 was born on Nov. 29 and DD2 was born on Dec. 3, I had c-sections with both.

I went to my family's house only with DD1, with DD2, we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Dinner with my family and Boxing Day with his family.

This year, I am scheduled to deliver Dec. 15, the plan is to spend Christmas Eve at home, Christmas dinner at my aunt's house, and probably Boxing Day at my in-law's house.

Hector33 · October 2015

my grandparents and mother are all saying it will be simple and super easy just buy the roast chooks and make a few salads. They are saying that they will do the cleaning up also. Prior experience tells me different. Its not so much the fact that they are here for christmas lunch its the fact that they just expected that they could stay at ours in their caravans. When I told my mother that them staying here was not an option and that they would need to stay in a hotel she sort of crack it! there will be an extra 6 people here trying to help and give advice. I like my own space and want the opportunity to figure out this parenting thing on my own.

mhwood · October 2015

The straight up tell them no.

4puddleducks · October 2015

I'm due 12/5 and if I make it full-term then dd will 20 days old on xmas day. We plan on spending xmas eve at our house as a family of four. We will get up on xmas morning and head to my in-law's house to spend the day with them. It is a tradition of food, movies, gift giving and time spent together. Normally, my parents come into town and stay with my in-laws. But since dd's birth will be less than a month before xmas, they are coming to visit some time in mid January. We will be celebrating DS's birthday with my parents while there are here for DD's birth. Then xmas with them during their January trip. I am very comfortable at my in-law's house, so I have no worries being there with a newborn and 4 year old.

spottedginger · October 2015

mhwood said:
The straight up tell them no.

This exactly. Set your boundaries and stick with them. They will be in your house to relax and socialize together, not in their individual RVs.

redfallon · October 2015

spottedginger said:

The straight up tell them no.
This exactly. Set your boundaries and stick with them. They will be in your house to relax and socialize together, not in their individual RVs.

If they want to bring their RVs, find a close-by RV park that they can stay at. How are they going to hook up everything if there are that many of them? Where we live, it's not allowed to have an RV camped out in our yard, thank goodness.

Hector33 · October 2015

I have already told my mum that if they wish to come for christmas they can but they are not welcome to stay either in the house or their vans. They will need to find accommodation else where. She thinks I will change my mind and will want christmas at home with my DD as SHE always enjoyed having christmas with her kids at home and hosting everyone. heading to her place is not an option as she lives 4 hrs away. Oh the joys of christmas. DH is no good as he is a peace keeper and more interested in keeping others happy so they dont get their feelings hurt. In saying that he has been amazing throughout this pregnancy

navyblueladybug · October 2015

Elizabella85 · October 2015

I'm due 12/11 and I'm not allowed to past my EDD because of GD. Therefore DH's family (his parents and one set of grandparents) will be allowed to visit (they are 5 hrs away and will be staying at our house) for a week once we're home from the hospital. We will celebrate early and I'm not lifting a finger. Thankfully my MIL thrives on making feasts, and I know she'll help with laundry which is all the cleaning we should need. I know they'll be a little annoying with the housekeeping advice because my FIL is a germaphobe, and they'll hover over baby, but they mean well and I have no problem taking baby and retreating to the master bedroom - nursing breaks to the rescue, lol! And DH will be around to entertain them since it's his family.

During the week of Xmas, my parents, brother, and sister will visit and stay with us (which is nice because we're scattered across the country). Mom will be helpful and has already decided to cook Xmas dinner, I doubt anyone else will be overly helpful, but they aren't picky house guests and expect a super chill holiday this year with not all of our normal traditions. Basically I'm just providing beds and again, nursing breaks!

I think it will be easier to handle since they are small groups coming separately. I definitely couldn't handle them together! Then no overnight visitors until Easter. Seriously. So not afraid to say NO once the parents/grandparents have met baby.

MegStark · October 2015

Ours depends on when baby is born (I'm due the 16th). I've made it pretty clear that DH's family is not welcome to stay with us multiple times in December. They're also not coming when baby is born then staying thru the holidays. They can pick one. 2 night maximum stay at our house. They're already coming for Thanksgiving, and we don't need visitors multiple weekends.

My parents live about a mile away. They'll most likely invite us over for both Christmas Eve and day without expectations or thinking we NEED to be there.

OP, I'd just put your foot down and say "no". Tell them they're adding unnecessary stress.

MommyOfTwo0418 · October 2015

My scheduled csection is on December 14th, and he will be a week and 4 days old but i also have a little girl who will be 20 months old then and I don't want her to miss anything for Christmas because she'll actually enjoy this year more than last year. I told them I am planning on joining all the Christmas festivities and Christmas eve ones as well because I don't want her to miss a thing. Plus I'll have help and most of our families have gotten their shots and are all good to go for him. So I will be attending with a 20 month old, a week and 4 day old and my husband

Meika1987 · October 2015

My due date is Dec 6 so my Lil princess will be abt 3 weeks on Christmas....if born exactly on due date. My fiance will be out on leave for the entire month of Dec and my 9 year old son will be out of school for Christmas break. Christmas eve I would like us to just sit back watch christmas movies, eat pop corn, eat cookies and drink hot cocoa then Christmas morning wake up open gifts get dressed visit my family then later that afternoon we go visit his family and back home we shall return

navyblueladybug · October 2015

This thread gives me anxiety :-S

spottedginger · October 2015

navyblueladybug said:
This thread gives me anxiety :-S

It just reinforces my early stance against plans.

HungryRunner76 · October 2015

My c section is scheduled December 2nd.
Thankfully, my parents will be coming here to help with DD#1 for a week when I go in the hospital. They live 5 hours away and won't be able to come back for Christmas.
So, all that's left is my husband's family. His brother and SIL won't come until after Christmas (but They constantly change plans so that could change at any time). His parents who live 30 mins away will likely come up sometime Christmas afternoon for dinner. I usually cook for the holidays but it will be scaled back significantly and DH has offered to help with the girls while i get everything ready.
I was crazy last year with DD#1 and thought it would be a nice idea to have both sets of grandparents stay here Christmas Eve so they could see her open gifts (only grandchild on my side and DH's brother and SIL's kids always spend Christmas in another state so his parents had not had a Christmas with grandkids yet either) . I literally had a panic attack all evening and into Christmas morning because both grandmothers drove me nuts in their own ways. Never again.
I'm super pumped to have a quiet Christmas morning with just our girls and each other.

NellieHarringtonCarter · October 2015

I'm due anywhere between December 18 (cycle date) and December 25 (ultrasound date). Usually we go to my parents' for Christmas Eve (3 hours away) and then alternate years between my mom's and my DH's mom's house for Christmas Day. This year, we are doing Christmas on Thanksgiving, and then I'm planning on having a nice, quiet Christmas at home with my DH, 5yo, newborn, and my mom, who is coming down to help.

When discussing plans and possible visits with my MIL, she suggested "Well, we can always bring Christmas to you!" I don't think I've ever said NO! so quickly to her.

Secretly, I hope I give birth as close to Christmas as possible (without being on Christmas) so the fewest number of family members come down to the hospital. Is that bad of me?

angelicac06 · October 2015

Hopefully they can respect your wishes and not stay.

I am very fortunate to have non stressful Christmas plans. My mom lives 15 mins away and its Mexican tradition that the big dinner celebration is Christmas eve, we will be there on the 24th all dressed up. Im very excited to pickout my babys outfit. He'll be 3-4 weeks depending if hes on time. We'll prob spend the night since we stay there pretty late. Then next day we have a big breakfast and go to Christmas mass. Another excuse to get a fancy outfit, lol.

I am also very fortunate that my in laws go to Mexico for Christmas so I don't have to worry about splitting time.

I'm more stressed out about Thanksgiving. Every year we split the day in half between my moms and my in laws. They live 30 minutes away. We decided my MIL and SIL will join us to my moms for Thanksgiving dinner so that we don't travel much that day. Unfortunately that means they'll have to spend the night because neither drives. My wife will drive them back the next day. New born or not they can only stay ONE day, lol.

rain0831boww · October 2015

If I go around my DD Dec 5th, I'll go to whoever is hosting Christmas this year. We spend Christmas Eve with my husband's family and Christmas with mine. I'm glad she is due towards the beginning of the month because I'll feel more comfortable family wanting to hold her by the time Christmas rolls around.

kaitykins · November 2015

I am due the 15. Hoping to go a bit early or on time due to loose ligaments early is more likely. . Sister in law coming to stay dec 22/23-jan2 only see her once or twice a year so that will be nice. Parents in law coming dec 31-Jan 7 from out of state thy are staying in a cottage across the street from us. My parents and younger sister live up the hill ¼ mile from us so we will do Christmas morning here chill, and head up there around lunch time most likely.

CandyElephants · November 2015

I have a scheduled c-section on the 21st, so if everything goes like it did with DS I'll be home Christmas Eve morning. I personally love having people over and I love Christmas so (with tons of help from my mom, DH, and three of my closest friends) we're planning on keep the holiday traditions we've had over the past couple of years.

Which means making Santa cookies on Christmas Eve with DS(mom or DH will probably take over that task), opening a present each on Christmas eve then getting into brand new pjs and watching Christmas movies with cookies, popcorn, and hot cocoa. DH will take care of putting the Santa presents under the trees, and me and the others will fill the stockings.

Then on Christmas we'll start making breakfast around 5 so we can eat at 9am and open presents. It's all easy food (ham in the crockpot, already cooked biscuits, packaged gravy, bacon, sausage, eggs, stuff like that) to make it just takes forever to make it. Somebody else will be handing out the presents and I'll be sitting taking pictures. Most of the people will probably leave after presents and not come back for dinner but for those who do it'll just be the leftover ham from breakfast, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

It's all a bit stressful, sure, but I love this kind of stuff and thankfully my friends don't mind being paid with free food. (Even if they have to help cook it.)

sunneedays · November 2015

I'm due on the 23rd, so I'm assuming I will be leaving the hospital on Christmas Day and therefore plan to do nothing. If people want to come and see us, they can, but i'm not making any special trips! Ha ha.

minnifer · November 2015

Due the 29th so not going anywhere too far. Dont want to have to rush especially in case of the weather. It can snow or grizzle... we are already 1/2h away from the hospital on a sunny day...

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