Right or wrong? Kind of long but need advice — The Bump
November 2015 Moms

Right or wrong? Kind of long but need advice

So today was my baby shower put together by my sisters and mom. We invited my hubby's mom and on multiple occasions I told her not to bring a gift.

His mom already bought us the car seat AND stroller. It was huge purchase. Then at the small shower she put together with her sisters she bought us another gift. So for this shower I asked har not to bring anything but herself. She said okay.

Today at the shower while opening gifts I opened a card and it was from her. I thought to myself..."really? After I asked her not to" so I put it aside and said I'm no opening it today. I said you bought over and above already and this is not necessary. Save it for baby being born or christmas. And then I moved on.

I didn't open it because my mom had mentioned that she was offended that his mom keeps buying gifts and has already spent over $500. My one sister couldn't afford to buy us a gift and found my MIL to be showing off.

So I heard my MIL was leaving so I wanted to talk to her and say thanks but let's hold onto it and open it at the hospital. But before I could say anything she Said "you are rude, I don't care what you do, you are rude" and then she stormed out. I just balled. I thought I was doing the right thing and I specifically asked her the night before not to bring a gift and she still did! When I put her gift aside I told everyone that she bought the stroller and the car seat and that's more than enough.

So.... was I wrong for sticking to what I said, do I owe her an apology? She honestly didn't even let me talk to her.


Re: Right or wrong? Kind of long but need advice

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  • Agreed with pp :( you owe her a serious apology.
    You must feel like crap and I am sorry for that, but that must have hurt her a lot too. Do your best to fix it !
  • Definitely apologize .
  • Agreed with PPs. Incredibly rude. Good luck making up for this one.
    Me: 28, DH: 40
    Married 9/28/13
    DS born 11/12/15
    EDD 8/13/18
  • I don't think you "owe her an apology" as much as an explanation. If you really asked her multiple times NOT to bring you a gift and she did anyways that's on her.  It probably would have gone over better had you explained to her why you didn't want her to bring you another gift (the fact that your family felt bad about their lack of them) and if she really wanted to she could have done it at another time. I would tell her that you are sorry that she was offended but I wouldn't apologize for doing it, she should have respected your wishes, instead she made other people who love the baby just as much as her feel bad because they can't provide as many gifts. I would talk to her about it and even your significant other, but I would have probably done the same thing.
  • I guess the repeated requests of someone mean absolutely nothing?? I'm not saying it was a great situation I am saying the MIL should have respected the wishes of the momma- to-be. 
  • Wow, I'm confused as to how you actually thought your actions would go over well. You definitely should get started on damage control ASAP. As others have stated you should be happy your MIL is so excited. I'm in the group of MIL's not caring at all about their first grandchild. Also, your Mom and sister are adults and should know that caring about your baby goes far beyond gifts. My parents have gone a bit crazy with spending money too. They bought our crib, glider and stroller. Those are just the big ticket items. They have probably racked up another 1500 in clothes and other accessories. Do I think the MK newborn shoes she got were over priced? Yes. Do I think our LO needs clothes from Nieman Marcus? No. But I accept the gifts and tell them how much we appreciate them. Beyond their purchases, what it means to me is that my parents are SO excited. I would never do anything to make them less excited. And you can bet LO will be sporting her fancy clothes her Nana picked out!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Was there even anything in the card?
    Me: 28, DH: 40
    Married 9/28/13
    DS born 11/12/15
    EDD 8/13/18
  • Say sorry... Immediately.. I cannot imagine doing that to My MIL, Mother or Friends. 

  • grapesoda1111grapesoda1111
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2015
    Eta forgot to quote

    Pregnancy Ticker
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