It's so ironic you guys are hiding behind " it's social ettiqutte" it's also social ettiqutte to not be RUDE plain and simple.
Secondly when I've called you out now baby showers are not about the gifts? LMAO! Which one is it they are or they are not? Can't have it both ways
Thirdly yes I've been on here for months and my first comment is to defend someone that you guys are ripping to shreds being bitchy and condensending because that's the kinda person I am.
I wish I knew how to quote all of the rude comments so I can clearly point them out as you ladies seem to be well versed in baby shower etiquette but not on what's hurtful to another human being smh
I wish I knew how to quote all of the rude comments so I can clearly point them out as you ladies seem to be well versed in baby shower etiquette but not on what's hurtful to another human being smh
I've been on these boards a long time and I frequently call people out for being rude but I don't think people are being as awful on here like you say they are. A bunch of us are frustrated, yes, but no one is being rude. I'd like to see examples.
I wish I knew how to quote all of the rude comments so I can clearly point them out as you ladies seem to be well versed in baby shower etiquette but not on what's hurtful to another human being smh
The button that says "quote" .. Find the "rude comments" Aka opinions that different than yours and click the quote button under said " rude comment" and it will quote the comment so you can tell us why it's ok to throw yourself a party. Hope that helps
Isn't it better for OP to hear it from us..a bunch of internet strangers than to have the people she invites thinking she's tacky? I personally would rather hear it from internet strangers. A friend of mine not only threw her own shower but asked for money/gift cards...EVERY person invited thought it was the tackiest thing ever but no one told her. Trust me, its better to hear it from strangers than to be in that situation and be totally clueless.
Don't whine and complain about people being *rude* when a simple search on baby showers would have shown you how TB members take hosting your own baby shower and gender reveals. Especially throwing yourself a shower that early. It's like poking a bear and then crying because you got mauled. No one feels sorry for you.
This is our second child that we tried for YEARS for, and we're having a boy this time. No one in my family offered to throw me a shower, none of my friends did either. I didn't request or ask for someone to throw me one, and I sure as hell refuse to ever throw myself one. I didn't get butthurt over it, I know my family is beyond excited for our new little one and my son will still have everything he needs, without a baby shower.
^ dude @hiba90 you gotta add something to it like .. Do you agree or disagree with the above random quotes you posted. Otherwise we have no idea why you quoted them. Have you never used the Internet or a public forum before? I'd lurk around a bit so you are less confused. But good work on learning how to quote
And regardless of whether it's the internet or real life, if someone basically gets in my face and goes "OMG YOU ARE SO RUDE AND MEAN!!! I can't believe it!!!!" you better believe I'm going to defend myself. All of these so called "rude" comments are a direct result of most of us having to defend our stance on this topic after someone gets upset and starts calling US names. How are we the rude ones?!
We gave opinions and others (including yourself) got all upset because it's hard to hear that throwing yourself a party is tacky.
I love the argument that the shower is to "celebrate the baby" and the mom should be able to "celebrate the baby" even if no one offers her a shower.
Have you ever been to a birthday party where the birthday girl/boy isn't present? No, right? Then how can you celebrate a baby that hasn't yet been born? You can't have a guest of honor that isn't present at his or her party. The fact that the baby is inside of you doesn't make them present.
You want to celebrate the baby? Fine. Invite people to your house after it is born. The ones who love buying baby gifts will probably bring gifts even if you're not having a "shower." But don't pretend that you want to "celebrate your baby" when you haven't even given birth to it yet. What you want is to celebrate your pregnancy, which is a different thing. You shouldn't be throwing a gift-giving party for yourself, which is exactly what that is.
For sure 21 weeks is too early. I'm rather on board with most others in my dislike of gender reveal parties, but to each his own. As for whether one can host her own baby shower, of course she can! She just should make clear that gifts are not expected and don't include registry information on the invitations. That would save her from appalling tackiness.
I love the argument that the shower is to "celebrate the baby" and the mom should be able to "celebrate the baby" even if no one offers her a shower.
Have you ever been to a birthday party where the birthday girl/boy isn't present? No, right? Then how can you celebrate a baby that hasn't yet been born? You can't have a guest of honor that isn't present at his or her party. The fact that the baby is inside of you doesn't make them present.
You want to celebrate the baby? Fine. Invite people to your house after it is born. The ones who love buying baby gifts will probably bring gifts even if you're not having a "shower." But don't pretend that you want to "celebrate your baby" when you haven't even given birth to it yet. What you want is to celebrate your pregnancy, which is a different thing. You shouldn't be throwing a gift-giving party for yourself, which is exactly what that is.
*starts a slow clap* ^^^ this is absolutely perfect!
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
I love the argument that the shower is to "celebrate the baby" and the mom should be able to "celebrate the baby" even if no one offers her a shower.
Have you ever been to a birthday party where the birthday girl/boy isn't present? No, right? Then how can you celebrate a baby that hasn't yet been born? You can't have a guest of honor that isn't present at his or her party. The fact that the baby is inside of you doesn't make them present.
You want to celebrate the baby? Fine. Invite people to your house after it is born. The ones who love buying baby gifts will probably bring gifts even if you're not having a "shower." But don't pretend that you want to "celebrate your baby" when you haven't even given birth to it yet. What you want is to celebrate your pregnancy, which is a different thing. You shouldn't be throwing a gift-giving party for yourself, which is exactly what that is.
*starts a slow clap* ^^^ this is absolutely perfect!
For sure 21 weeks is too early. I'm rather on board with most others in my dislike of gender reveal parties, but to each his own. As for whether one can host her own baby shower, of course she can! She just should make clear that gifts are not expected and don't include registry information on the invitations. That would save her from appalling tackiness.
Shower implies gifts.
If op actually wants to celebrate the baby, she could host a gathering (like a sip n see) once the baby is born and she is comfortable with having guests around the baby . That way, the baby is actually present and is the center of attention, not the mom to be like at a shower.
It's so ironic you guys are hiding behind " it's social ettiqutte" it's also social ettiqutte to not be RUDE plain and simple.
Secondly when I've called you out now baby showers are not about the gifts? LMAO! Which one is it they are or they are not? Can't have it both ways
Thirdly yes I've been on here for months and my first comment is to defend someone that you guys are ripping to shreds being bitchy and condensending because that's the kinda person I am.
How is anyone "hiding" behind social etiquette? Throwing your own baby shower, bridal shower, bachelorette party, birthday party, etc is rude. YOU are the guest of honor and an attendee, not the person who throws these things. No one needs any of those parties and no one should expect them. If you don't have anyone that offers to throw them then you don't have them. It honestly looks very rude, AWish, and gift grabby. What is confusing about that, how can you not see that as being rude?
What people are trying to say is that they don't EXPECT or DEMAND anyone bring gifts to showers, they were asked to attend (because again, they are the guest of honor and a shower is something given to them) and they are happy that they were even given the gift of having a shower, their doesn't NEED to be presents. But everyone already realizes that people will bring gifts to a shower! That is the point of them and it always has been. So when someone offers to throw it for you, they are essentially sort of saying, "hey everyone, let's all get together and welcome the guest of honor, SallySue, to motherhood by showering her with gifts for baby!" If you throw your own you are essentially saying, "hey everyone, I'm inviting you to a shower I'm throwing myself to honor ME. Shower ME with gifts." Please tell me you can see the difference and how that is a social faux pas? One is a gift to you, the other is just you asking for things. Whether you mean it to or not, that is how it looks. You didn't call out anyone and no one was trying to have it "both ways" or whatever you're getting at.
No one was ripping anyone to shreds. This is a pretty tame thread with reasonable responses. OP asked opinions, opinions were given. Not rude at all to tell someone they are being tacky and everyone was trying to help OP avoid a situation where she would likely be side-eyed, judged, or be called tacky behind her back. There are a ton of helpful responses and just because you don't agree with them doesn't make them wrong or rude.
Also, if I was committing some social faux pas, I would MUCH rather pass it by some internet strangers ahead of time, get their opinions and dodge being silently judged by people I know that are familiar with general etiquette.
IMHO it is the people that come here with the "Do what you want! People don't HAVE to go and they don't HAVE to bring gifts" attitude that are doing OP and other posters like her a disservice and being rude.
Waaaait why is everyone so against gender reveals?? I think they're cute!
As for the shower thing, I would definitely eye roll at someone who threw their own. The soon to be grandmas aren't even letting me lift a finger for mine. It's a gift! You wouldn't throw your own grad party, or register for a housewarming party. Not a good idea, OP. Just my opinion opinion though
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Re: Baby shower
Secondly when I've called you out now baby showers are not about the gifts? LMAO! Which one is it they are or they are not? Can't have it both ways
Thirdly yes I've been on here for months and my first comment is to defend someone that you guys are ripping to shreds being bitchy and condensending because that's the kinda person I am.
I've been on these boards a long time and I frequently call people out for being rude but I don't think people are being as awful on here like you say they are. A bunch of us are frustrated, yes, but no one is being rude. I'd like to see examples.
This is a legit question. You are far too sensitive if you consider something like this rude.
And regardless of whether it's the internet or real life, if someone basically gets in my face and goes "OMG YOU ARE SO RUDE AND MEAN!!! I can't believe it!!!!" you better believe I'm going to defend myself. All of these so called "rude" comments are a direct result of most of us having to defend our stance on this topic after someone gets upset and starts calling US names. How are we the rude ones?!
We gave opinions and others (including yourself) got all upset because it's hard to hear that throwing yourself a party is tacky.
I love the argument that the shower is to "celebrate the baby" and the mom should be able to "celebrate the baby" even if no one offers her a shower.
Have you ever been to a birthday party where the birthday girl/boy isn't present? No, right? Then how can you celebrate a baby that hasn't yet been born? You can't have a guest of honor that isn't present at his or her party. The fact that the baby is inside of you doesn't make them present.
You want to celebrate the baby? Fine. Invite people to your house after it is born. The ones who love buying baby gifts will probably bring gifts even if you're not having a "shower." But don't pretend that you want to "celebrate your baby" when you haven't even given birth to it yet. What you want is to celebrate your pregnancy, which is a different thing. You shouldn't be throwing a gift-giving party for yourself, which is exactly what that is.
I'll join in on that slow clap
If op actually wants to celebrate the baby, she could host a gathering (like a sip n see) once the baby is born and she is comfortable with having guests around the baby . That way, the baby is actually present and is the center of attention, not the mom to be like at a shower.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Also, if I was committing some social faux pas, I would MUCH rather pass it by some internet strangers ahead of time, get their opinions and dodge being silently judged by people I know that are familiar with general etiquette.
IMHO it is the people that come here with the "Do what you want! People don't HAVE to go and they don't HAVE to bring gifts" attitude that are doing OP and other posters like her a disservice and being rude.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
As for the shower thing, I would definitely eye roll at someone who threw their own. The soon to be grandmas aren't even letting me lift a finger for mine. It's a gift! You wouldn't throw your own grad party, or register for a housewarming party. Not a good idea, OP. Just my opinion opinion though
This thread has been closed to new posts due to the change in topic. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.
Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.
To review our Community guidelines, please visit the Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.