@jordanbara - Didn't even think about not saying anything... ha ha. What a tough predicament! Good luck with whatever you decide. It would be really hard to ditch the trip IMO... but I'd feel so guilty if something happened too... Maybe talk it over with DH and Dr at next appt, and come up with a good 'what if' plan.
I wouldn't chance it, but even more than the risks involved, what would happen if you tried to walk on "hiding" your pregnancy and they noticed? I assume you are boarding in another town/state from where you live so would your whole family have to stay behind? Would you be stuck in an unknown place staying in a hotel until they return? Would you need to drive/fly back by yourself with your toddler?
I just think that even if you think you carry small, you never know when baby #2 may decide to make his/her presence known with a noticeable bump and you may not actually be able to hide it. I would hate for the cruise line to notice at the last possible minute and you be stuck somewhere unknown, possibly alone.
And it's very possible that with the recent media buzz surrounding the baby born on the cruise ship, the crew may be overly cautious and really really be on their A game with looking for slight bumps.
Me & DH - 2009
Gone but not forgotten: Identical twin boys born at 23 weeks - 2004
@littleredx2 lots of good points! I've also considered these possibilities and being stopped would suck. I would bring a doctor's note stating exactly how far along I am like they require but being denied boarding wouldn't be the end of the world. The ship docks 45mins from my parents house so if worse came to worst I could drive myself home and everyone could go on.
I hear what everyone is saying, trust me. I'm an overly cautious person who never likes to break the rules or take risks. This is a really tough decision for me since my family lives across the country and I never get to see them. Being 1 week past the cutoff is the part that is killing me. I don't want to put our baby at risk but I'm also kind of tired of living my life based off of every "what if"...afraid to do anything which is how I live every day right now.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. I hope I make the best decision for me and baby in the end.
So your parents coordinated with all of those people (10 sibs, in laws, grandkids) and you chose to keep this a secret from them and let them buy your trip simply to tell them your news in person? This makes no sense to me. You say the trip is already bought and not changeable because of coordinating it with others, which I would presume they also tried to coordinate with you. Did you just blindly tell them yes? Sorry if this seems rude, your posts just seems a little confusing.
I don't think cruise lines would put rules in place that would limit the amount of money they could make unless it was for good reason. Skip the cruise, keep DH and toddler with you and plan your own little getaway while everyone else is gone so you're not stuck all sad about it at home.
So your parents coordinated with all of those people (10 sibs, in laws, grandkids) and you chose to keep this a secret from them and let them buy your trip simply to tell them your news in person? This makes no sense to me. You say the trip is already bought and not changeable because of coordinating it with others, which I would presume they also tried to coordinate with you. Did you just blindly tell them yes? Sorry if this seems rude, your posts just seems a little confusing.
I don't think cruise lines would put rules in place that would limit the amount of money they could make unless it was for good reason. Skip the cruise, keep DH and toddler with you and plan your own little getaway while everyone else is gone so you're not stuck all sad about it at home.
She probably wasn't ku'd when they planned and booked this......
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Thanks for all your input girls! Definitely gives me alot to think about.
Some of you mentioned moving the cruise up a couple weeks or asking my parents to plan a different trip. That would be ideal but the reason I haven't done that is because I come from a very large family. I am the oldest of 10 kids, not including 3 in-laws and 3 grandchildren. The dates are set because my parents had to work around when everyone could get time off work. So 18 members of my immediate family will be there as well as grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins. It's a huge trip.
We would have planned all this better if they wouldn't have surprised us recently with the trip. Also, the reason they still don't know we are expecting is because last pregnancy we told everyone right away so we thought it would be fun to wait and surprise my parents when they come to visit in 3 weeks for their 26th year anniversary. We are going to take them to our gender ultrasound appointment (so excited!) Telling them I'm pregnant now, won't change the trip. It will just ruin our surprise at this point lol.
I'm not a rule breaker by nature. I never try and buck the system. However, in this case, my options are to stay at my parents house with my toddler alone over christmas (because I wouldn't make my husband stay with me. He deserves to go have fun with everyone else) or go on the cruise anyway knowing that I would be taking the risk. I just need to figure out if that's a decision I'd be willing to live with, you know?
But they're probably going to want a note from your doctor... so going on the cruise anyway probably isn't an option.
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
@flowerpower5838 The only reason my parents coordinated the dates beforehand was because we were all under the assumption that we were flying home to spend Christmas with them, not to go on a cruise. Like I said, the cruise part they just surprised us with.
@eastdurian I agree that 3 months in Singapore without my family would stink. I'm only considering it because DD will be 19 months, and I'm worried about whether I have the stamina to handle her by myself at 34 weeks through the 30 hour travel time plus about two weeks of brutal jet lag (we're 12 hours off, so day 1 she goes to bed at 6:30am, day 2 at 5:30am, day 3 at 4:30am). I have no good options! Sorry for the self-involved tangent OP!
@flowerpower5838 The only reason my parents coordinated the dates beforehand was because we were all under the assumption that we were flying home to spend Christmas with them, not to go on a cruise. Like I said, the cruise part they just surprised us with.
Gotcha, that makes a little more sense. Definitely a bummer, but if I was in your situation, I'd skip the cruise. Better safe than sorry, IMO.
I think there are some options you may have available to you. Your parents have booked with a lot of people which gives you significant bargaining power. I think it's doubtful that you're going to be allowed on after 24 weeks but is changing the dates an option?
I understand it may not be an ideal option depending on how things go with your own travel dates etc. but it's possible you could take the cruise a week earlier or changing the activity. I'm sure it's something your family would consider (after all, you're not trying to be difficult and they obviously want to spend time with you) and if the cruise line or the travel agent has an option of changing dates/locations or losing a lot of business, I'm pretty sure they'd try to keep you happy. I think instead of hitting your head against this wall, think outside the box a bit.
They will ask in your boarding documents you fill out beforehand of you're pregnant. I think they ask every female between 14 and 55. So you won't have the option to just not declare that you're pregnant, you'll have to blatantly lie. I would be worried that this would make the cruise line refuse to help at all in the event of an emergency. They are notorious for taking advantage of loopholes and you'd be in breach of your passenger contact. Also, if they did somehow figure it out, they wouldn't let you board and wouldn't return any of your money. From what I've heard, if you look AT ALL pregnant, they ask and make you provide a note. Also, I just read that if they discover you're pregnant at any time on the cruise (you'll probably be in a swimsuit and will look pregnant especially with baby number two), they make you get off at the next stop. All adds up to just not being worth it to me.
3 miscarriages - 1 DS (6) - 1 DD (3) - #3 due March 30!
This may not be practical, but what about taking a vacation to Cozumel, and meeting up with your family when they are at port? Cozumel is about an hour from Cancun, which has a couple of very good hospitals in case anything were to happen...
Honestly I would check with your doctor and if they give you the go ahead, just go and enjoy yourself. If you go you just have to remember that you are taking a risk and whereas I don't think you'll have an issue with the the cruise line not helping you, they do have limited services, much like what was covered in that article. Additionally I am not sure if insurance is bought for the trip, but if you have not disclosed your condition, you may have issues getting any coverage in the event of an emergency. So for instance if you go into labor in Mexico and have to arrange for transportation home, insurance will usually cover all that, but if you are breaking a rule, chances are you could be left with those costs. Again that's if you have an emergency. Ironically I was pregnant about 10/11 weeks this go around and filled out all the paperwork and they do check and verify everything, so they do take it seriously (we traveled on Carnival). However when I was on the ship, we saw a pregnant women who was due in December and she looked very pregnant (like 7/8 months), how she got on the cruise ship I am not sure.
Hey Ladies! I need some advice.
So my parents have been saving up and they just surprised our whole family with a cruise over Christmas! Super excited! That being said, I will be 24.5 weeks getting on and the limit for pregnant women is exactly 24 weeks (meaning I'm not suppose to be past 23w 6d at all while on the ship).
My family doesn't know I'm pregnant yet because we want to suprise them in a few weeks when they come to visit. I'm torn as to whether or not I should try and go on the cruise anyway. I would hate to miss it by one week but also know that there are risks involved.
What would you do?
(A little background: This is baby #2. This pregnancy has been uneventful so far. I carried baby #1 full term with no complications).
I feel like the best thing I can offer for this is .....if you feel comfortable going, then I don't see a reason not to go. But, if you choose to go, I would meet with your doctor and make sure to get a clean bill of health before heading out.
Are you just in total denial that they probably won't let you on the ship? Because many people have brought this point up but you haven't acknowledged it. Just wondering.
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Are you just in total denial that they probably won't let you on the ship? Because many people have brought this point up but you haven't acknowledged it. Just wondering.
Dude, QFT. It isn't about how you feel at the time, it is about adhering to the policies of the company you are traveling with.
@pinottoparenthood I did respond to that a while back by saying that the cruise line stopping me from getting on wouldn't be the end of the world (which is a chance I may have to take because my parents most likely won't be able to get a refund for my ticket). The dock is literally 45 minutes from their house so I would just drive back there. No big deal. Honestly, not really sure why you are so concerned. I've taken everyone's advice the best I can so I'm not sure what you are wanting to accomplish here. I can't give you a definite answer until I'm able to talk to my parents about it next week.
FWIW-If they can get their money back then I won't be going but if they can't then I'm going to at least attempt to go. Sorry if some don't agree with that but that's where my head is at.
@pinottoparenthood I did respond to that a while back by saying that the cruise line stopping me from getting on wouldn't be the end of the world (which is a chance I may have to take because my parents most likely won't be able to get a refund for my ticket). The dock is literally 45 minutes from their house so I would just drive back there. No big deal. Honestly, not really sure why you are so concerned. I've taken everyone's advice the best I can so I'm not sure what you are wanting to accomplish here. I can't give you a definite answer until I'm able to talk to my parents about it next week.
I don't need a definite answer.. just making sure that you're aware of the potential problems. You just speak so nonchalantly about going on the cruise against regulations/potentially your doctor's orders like it's no big deal. Personally, I would not want to be out that money if I planned to go and then wasn't allowed on the ship. You do what's best for you and baby.
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
@pinottoparenthood trust me I get it. Every scenario that could possibly play out has been brought to my attention (over and over). I've tried to respond the best I know how without ruffling any feathers. Never once, however, did I say or insinuate that I would be willing to go against my doctor's orders, let's not get crazy here.
I will say that I don't find the idea of getting on the ship a couple days past their limit to be as outrageous as some people obviously do.
Like I said in my OP, I wanted opinions about what other people would or wouldn't do in my situation. I feel like I have gotten my answer and no one can say anything else that hasn't already been said repeatedly so maybe we can finally let this thread die lol.
FWIW-If they can get their money back then I won't be going but if they can't then I'm going to at least attempt to go. Sorry if some don't agree with that but that's where my head is at.
They probably won't get their money back because from a cancellation insurance standpoint, if you were aware of a condition before booking, they won't refund. As OP won't be able to prove her parents not knowing, the claim will most probably be refused.
I wouldn't go. There is no way I would risk being trapped on a ship when something could go wrong.
Also just because you carried small last time, doesn't mean the same will hold true this pregnancy.
Sorry but you should have said something to your parents as soon as they found out so that they could either switch for an earlier date or cancel immediately.
Re: Going on a cruise past the pregnancy limit??
I hear what everyone is saying, trust me. I'm an overly cautious person who never likes to break the rules or take risks. This is a really tough decision for me since my family lives across the country and I never get to see them. Being 1 week past the cutoff is the part that is killing me. I don't want to put our baby at risk but I'm also kind of tired of living my life based off of every "what if"...afraid to do anything which is how I live every day right now.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. I hope I make the best decision for me and baby in the end.
So your parents coordinated with all of those people (10 sibs, in laws, grandkids) and you chose to keep this a secret from them and let them buy your trip simply to tell them your news in person? This makes no sense to me. You say the trip is already bought and not changeable because of coordinating it with others, which I would presume they also tried to coordinate with you. Did you just blindly tell them yes? Sorry if this seems rude, your posts just seems a little confusing.
I don't think cruise lines would put rules in place that would limit the amount of money they could make unless it was for good reason. Skip the cruise, keep DH and toddler with you and plan your own little getaway while everyone else is gone so you're not stuck all sad about it at home.
Edit: obvi March 16, not 26.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
I understand it may not be an ideal option depending on how things go with your own travel dates etc. but it's possible you could take the cruise a week earlier or changing the activity. I'm sure it's something your family would consider (after all, you're not trying to be difficult and they obviously want to spend time with you) and if the cruise line or the travel agent has an option of changing dates/locations or losing a lot of business, I'm pretty sure they'd try to keep you happy. I think instead of hitting your head against this wall, think outside the box a bit.
Expecting Double Trouble, April 2016
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
I will say that I don't find the idea of getting on the ship a couple days past their limit to be as outrageous as some people obviously do.
Like I said in my OP, I wanted opinions about what other people would or wouldn't do in my situation. I feel like I have gotten my answer and no one can say anything else that hasn't already been said repeatedly so maybe we can finally let this thread die lol.
I wouldn't go. There is no way I would risk being trapped on a ship when something could go wrong.
Also just because you carried small last time, doesn't mean the same will hold true this pregnancy.
Sorry but you should have said something to your parents as soon as they found out so that they could either switch for an earlier date or cancel immediately.