A friend posted about this on Facebook. An interesting option if you don't get leave and don't want lots of stuff. What do you think? Tacky?
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4 early losses 2009, 2010, 2015. Baby #1 born 2/13/11.
Re: Shower/registry to fund leave from work?
SOOOOOOO much this ^^^^. I hate this trend of crowd funding too. People expect others to pay for their lives.
Asking your guests to contribute to your "fund" is basically just asking for money. Even if it is your preference, it's rude. If someone wants to gift you money then they'll write a check on their own. Let them make that decision and just be grateful for what you receive.
Where, as a PP stated, a gift registry has always been about suggestions, "here's what we think we could use", but it's not a demand and I think that most people feel that if they don't buy off the registry, their gift will still be appreciated.
But when people ask for money - it makes the giver question if their (non money) gift will actually be appreciated.
It makes me so sad how entitled people are these days.
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DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
I really despise the crowdfunding trend, so many people abuse it. Donating toward a close friend's unexpected major medical or funeral expense is one thing, paying for someone's wedding or vacation or baby is tacky as shit.
Firstly, I agree it's tacky to ask for money (which this is). You try to hide asking for money by calling it "giving time." This was misleading. I thought that meant I could sign up to clean your house or do your groceries or cooking, thereby giving you more "time." (Which I think is a neat idea for those who say they don't need anything or already have everything).
Secondly, the website charges 6%! It could be worse, but If I wanted to give you money as a gift (which I do sometimes) I would just write you a check or give you cash. $100 stays $100 and doesn't become $94. This just means your paying 6% to hide asking for money as asking for time.
Lame. Tacky. Rude.
If someone is "broke", maybe they should have a backyard wedding and skip a honeymoon they can't afford.
Call me old or call me snobby but I waited to get married, buy a house and have kids UNTIL I COULD AFFORD TO PAY FOR THESE THINGS MYSELF.
I have broke friends but even they have enough sense not to ask others for money. It's called being an adult.
I thought it was tacky, like begging or being greedy, but apparently it's culturally acceptable and we actually ended up with about half gifts and half envelopes with cash!
I struggled SO HARD with the thank you notes!
I think comparing Maternal Leave (or paternal leave) to a honeymoon is apples to oranges. Getting to stay home with your kids is a NEED. It should not be a luxury or even considered one. A honeymoon is entirely optional and a bonus. The same cannot be said of time to bond with your child vs. rushing back to work to keep bread on the table.
I've seen GoFundMe accounts for anything and everything. From a boob job, to funding IVF to adoption, and even funerals. Its not my style, and I don't think its tasteful, but the way the world is-- sometimes folks reach out in any way possible. There are some things that I forgive the cash-grab for because they strike a personal cord for me-- adoption, IVF/IUI and other reproductive type GFM-- I'm more likely to donate to. Vet bills for a dog/cat rescue? I'll give a dollar here or there. Often these are not sollicited or spammed though.
Paying for a couple to frollick on the beach? Pay for that yourself. I'm not going to boo hoo over a first world problem of that nature.
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Do I think only those that have the "right amount" of money should be able to procreate? No. I think it should be up to the individual family to set aside the money they need to provide for their children. Some families have issues with birth control and therefore, keep expanding. Some receive assistance and other stretch their resources-- sometimes both.
Depending on who you talk to-- the answer is "just don't have sex" (not reasonable) or "just have an abortion" (also not always reasonable) or "just get birth control" (sometimes reasonable, and not 100% reliable). I've never felt that its anyone else's responsibility to fund my procreation adventures. That's on me and my husband. Again, my personal motto.
There are those that accept assistance and keep on having babies. That's none of my business. I pay my taxes and I know a portion of them go to fund public assistance. If I don't like that (and I DO like that) then I can vote for other representatives that can cut funding to programs I disagree with. Personally, I feel that providing safe access to Feminine Care is essential and I do NOT mind paying more taxes to do so. I find that (again depending on who you talk to) I can be in the minority.
TL;DR: Personal standards are awesome and not a problem. Just don't go on trying to tell folks how they should lead their lives or spend their money-- you're good.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards: