Grateful for the support of good friends & family. I'm going through a really rough time at work right now & they are keeping me sane, for the time being at least!
I am greatfull for the motnf, the 4 month regression, leap after leap after leap, 3 outfits per day and endless laundry. I am so great full to be able to look into her eyes, watch her grow and hold her close every day. I am greatfull to watch her discover and learn new things, and listen to her sweet laugh everday in my home.
This is a heartbreakingvstory but was a good reminder of perspective :
I'm grateful for all of the hugs and kisses from DS and that he still likes to start his day with morning cuddles. I'm grateful for LO'S "mommy sigh" when I pick her up from day care. It's like she's saying "Mommy's here and everything is ok." I also love how she snuggles her head into my neck right before bed. I usually rock for a few minutes longer than necessary because it's my favorite part of the day.
I'm grateful for my time alone with LO in her nursery. It's our own little sanctuary away from the world. I never know what I will find when I come out since I live with a 3 yo. So far it's been poop on the floor, artwork on the walls, and bodies on the floor. Never a dull moment.
**and yes, that is permanent marker on my faux finished wall. X(
I have FINALLY gotten to the YMCA and gone swimming in the warm pool (let not kid ourselves... I swam for 5 minutes, then floated and stretched for 15). Then I went and sat in that jacuzzi for over a half hour! I had it to myself for 10 minutes, then some teen girls got in, then a older guy got in and the girls left and then BONUS. In gets the son of the swim coach. Who is on a full ride scholarship to the U of somewhere (Minnesota?) for swimming, and is probably going to be on the US Olympic swim team because he wins tons of national events. He hung out and talked to the other guy, but I surreptitiously watched his nice shoulders, strong arms, trim abdomen. Good times. :-bd B-)
I don't even know where to begin. Today is one of those days that I take a step back and look at my life and I'm amazed. I am crazy blessed. I have a great job, a selfless husband, involved family and the best LO I could ever have asked for. Oh and my husband is bringing another bottle of my favorite wine home. Life is so good.
I got my first haircut in over a year today! A bob, and I love it.
Also, there is a Middle Eastern couple living with my parents now (so we are a full house of 8!). The husband's mother is visiting, and she has been just sitting alone on the couch all day, in the dark, not wanting to bother anyone or use electricity (they live on the basement level, which is large and independent of my parents' section of the house). She doesn't speak any English except Hello and Thank You. But they are just the sweetest family, so we invited her to go into town with us today. She loves LO, so she held him and watched him while I got my haircut. When her son got home, he translated that we made her week and she was so happy to get out of the house, and to spend time with LO!
After a year of being the foreigners, I'm so glad we can pay it forward (and am grateful for a willing babysitter!),
Something we were talking about last night here in June moms reminded me about my favorite EVER books, but I've been consistently bummed because they weren't available in eBook format, and while I DO have the paper books, I hadn't been able to read them when I was commuting in NYC, or once we moved here in bed before falling asleep. I don't have a bedside table or lamp, so to read at night I would have to use the overhead bright ass light. Much easier to lay down with my nook on its lowest setting and just read till I'm drowsy then I can fall asleep without even having to move. Anyway, last night I was recalled to those books, and FINALLY they are on eBook format. I truly want to just abandon the series I'm in right now (which I've read before many times) and go read those other books (which I've also read many times). The only thing stopping me is that I'm reading this series to LO and I can't bring myself to start a new story with him until we finish this one. Only 6 books to go! But... Super grateful I can now carry my Lady books around with me anywhere. (This series, btw, is the series where I got my girl's name, had we had a girl)
Something we were talking about last night here in June moms reminded me about my favorite EVER books, but I've been consistently bummed because they weren't available in eBook format, and while I DO have the paper books, I hadn't been able to read them when I was commuting in NYC, or once we moved here in bed before falling asleep. I don't have a bedside table or lamp, so to read at night I would have to use the overhead bright ass light. Much easier to lay down with my nook on its lowest setting and just read till I'm drowsy then I can fall asleep without even having to move. Anyway, last night I was recalled to those books, and FINALLY they are on eBook format. I truly want to just abandon the series I'm in right now (which I've read before many times) and go read those other books (which I've also read many times). The only thing stopping me is that I'm reading this series to LO and I can't bring myself to start a new story with him until we finish this one. Only 6 books to go! But... Super grateful I can now carry my Lady books around with me anywhere. (This series, btw, is the series where I got my girl's name, had we had a girl)
Melly, are you seriously not going to tell us the name of the books?! (Or the girls name?!)
Something we were talking about last night here in June moms reminded me about my favorite EVER books, but I've been consistently bummed because they weren't available in eBook format, and while I DO have the paper books, I hadn't been able to read them when I was commuting in NYC, or once we moved here in bed before falling asleep. I don't have a bedside table or lamp, so to read at night I would have to use the overhead bright ass light. Much easier to lay down with my nook on its lowest setting and just read till I'm drowsy then I can fall asleep without even having to move. Anyway, last night I was recalled to those books, and FINALLY they are on eBook format. I truly want to just abandon the series I'm in right now (which I've read before many times) and go read those other books (which I've also read many times). The only thing stopping me is that I'm reading this series to LO and I can't bring myself to start a new story with him until we finish this one. Only 6 books to go! But... Super grateful I can now carry my Lady books around with me anywhere. (This series, btw, is the series where I got my girl's name, had we had a girl)
Melly, are you seriously not going to tell us the name of the books?! (Or the girls name?!)
I wasn't sure if anybody would want to know. But of course I will. I love my books. The trilogy that is FINALLY available in eBook is by Raymond Feist in collaboration with Janny Wurts. I don't know if the series itself has a name (I always just call them the Mara books), but the books are called Daughter of the Empire, Servant of the Empire, Mistress of the Empire. It follows Mara of the Acoma as she rises to the head of her 'house' and becomes Lady of the Acoma. She was never meant to gain power, and was barely stopped from becoming a kinda like a nun (a woman in service to one of the gods of that world). She has 18 soldiers left out of a force of thousands. She came to power because her father and brother have been killed thru a masterful play of politics and betrayal by her family's ancient enemy in wartime maneuvers on the world on the other side of the rift they (the people of this culture) are invading. Imagine your Japanese/ Asain cultures concept of honor and tradition, and apply it to these people, and then corrupt it so its extreme. Add in the fact she is a woman in a position of head of house (like a duchess, maybe) in a male dominated culture where pretty much every other house wants her dead because either they are enemies with her family or because her house is now weak and they can rise the honor and ranking of their house by getting her out of the way. Thru innovation, thinking outside the box and against tradition, political savvy-ness, and sacrifice she brings her house away from becoming lost to dust (all family members dead and all retainers and servants made slaves to the conquering house). Over the three books she grows as a woman and while she becomes more adept at the Great Game of the Counsel (deadly political maneuvering) she collects more enemies and her perceptions change, falls in love with a slave and her perceptions and sense of honor change again. She ends up challenging her culture and the strongest source of power in it.
Just... The series has a very strong lead female character who is badass, honestly, using nothing but her shrewd mind and her ability to play a real life game of chess where her family and retainers are all at stake - to lose means death and dishonor. It's a girl power series. The supporting characters are awesome in their own rights.
I give the series to any woman I know who reads even a little and I feel needs a strong dose of 'woman, put your chin up' inspiration.
If we had had a daughter, I would have named her Mara.
TL,DR - sorry, I love them so much I can't help myself but to talk about them. The name is Mara, the books are by Raymond Feist in collaboration with Janny Wurts, called Daughter of the Empire, Servant of the Empire, Mistress of the Empire
How fun! The one Mara I know is very badass, too. Love the name, and will look into those books, thanks!
Which leads to my daily gratitude today: DH and I went and got library cards and rediscovered the local library. They have an awesome selection and three baby programs that I'm looking forward to.
And also an awesomely nerdy staff, who do things like pick up a telephone and say very seriously, "I need back up. I've got a two-new-cards situation up here."
And also an awesomely nerdy staff, who do things like pick up a telephone and say very seriously, "I need back up. I've got a two-new-cards situation up here."
This cracked me up. Love it. Were they intentionally trying to serious / funny / nerdy (poking fun at the situation and tone)? Or were they just being serious, thereby making it even more funny?
And also an awesomely nerdy staff, who do things like pick up a telephone and say very seriously, "I need back up. I've got a two-new-cards situation up here."
This cracked me up. Love it. Were they intentionally trying to serious / funny / nerdy (poking fun at the situation and tone)? Or were they just being serious, thereby making it even more funny?
And also an awesomely nerdy staff, who do things like pick up a telephone and say very seriously, "I need back up. I've got a two-new-cards situation up here."
This cracked me up. Love it. Were they intentionally trying to serious / funny / nerdy (poking fun at the situation and tone)? Or were they just being serious, thereby making it even more funny?
I love the name Mara! I may have to check those books out, too! Always looking for something good to read, even though I don't have as much time, I usually take my Kindle to work with me and read at lunch.
They're really good books. I really admire the character a lot. I'm really really excited to read them again.
In other news, LO slept until 830 this morning! What the what? I had woken up at 6 and been up from 6-7, thinking he would get up at 7am like usual. He did stir and act like he was about to wake at 7, so I did my morning routine of feeding the cat and moving a bottle of water to the couch and taking my supplements, but by the time I had gotten back upstairs he had gone back to sleep, instead of me finding a totally awake baby like usual. So I laid back down and managed to fall asleep again until he woke me up again.
So, I got to sleep in (kinda)! Love sleeping in, and then finding a smiley baby boy. At least, until he realizes he's really hungry and starts to cry. But he always smiles at me for a few minutes in the morning. He's awesome.
I think I can say I'm through the worst of PPD. It was like last week I suddenly realized life is good and I feel like we're getting our routine as a family figured out. Depression is funny in that it slowly fades until one day I wake up and feel like me again. LO is such a happy baby I just love her to pieces. It's so hard to explain if you don't deal with depression. I'm just grateful to be on the other side.
I read a quote somewhere that being a friend to someone with depression is one of the hardest and most generous things you can do. I would agree. I know I am beyond difficult when things are bad. I really appreciate all of you creepy Internet strangers who listen and let me vent. You guys are the best.
I still can't believe it but LO can transfer at least as much as the pump. I weighed every feed this weekend to make sure. That means no more pumping after every feed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of in shock and nervous I'm going to magically lose my supply out of the blue. Seriously no words for the happiness. I am pumping after he goes to bed so he can sleep longer as I barely have enough milk
I'm grateful for the ER charge nurse who was super nice and helpful over the phone last night instead of just telling us to bring LO in and risk him being exposed to god knows what. I'm also thankful he pooped this morning and DH had to deal with it.
Today is the one year anniversary of my father's bone marrow transplant!!! He is calling it his "rebirth day." He has to make it two years before they will call it successful. But a year ago, we weren't even sure he would get to this point.
My sister is visiting and going through a divorce, also just found out he was cheating on her. Makes me super grateful for my DH. Have to cut him some slack when he doesn't understand my thoughts on taking care of LO
Loved to see LO absolutely crack up today watching his older brother eating dinner. He wasn't doing anything particularly funny, but is always entertaining. He gets more laughs out of baby man than anyone and it's so sweet to watch them together.. Especially after being so nervous about how DS1 would react to a new baby.
He put his career on hold to follow me for the past 15 months (and forseeable future). It's been a really tough time for him, and his identity and ego were really suffering. So this is not about money, but about dignity and life satisfaction. I am sooo happy and relieved for him! And he's so much happier now. This is a real game changer for him/us.
Re: The Daily Gratitude!
I was nervous that it was coming down toward the road, but it turned and ran back up the hill to the forest.
We are so excited!
Thankful that LO, even at her most taxing, is totally bearable. Or I am patient, but I really don't think that's it.
Thankful our new meds are working to mitigate LOs reflux and she's now eating us out of house and home.
This is a heartbreakingvstory but was a good reminder of perspective :
https://www.today.com/parents/moms-heartbreaking-stillbirth-story-reminder-parents-cherish-kids-t48791
**and yes, that is permanent marker on my faux finished wall. X(
Oh and my husband is bringing another bottle of my favorite wine home. Life is so good.
Also, there is a Middle Eastern couple living with my parents now (so we are a full house of 8!). The husband's mother is visiting, and she has been just sitting alone on the couch all day, in the dark, not wanting to bother anyone or use electricity (they live on the basement level, which is large and independent of my parents' section of the house). She doesn't speak any English except Hello and Thank You. But they are just the sweetest family, so we invited her to go into town with us today. She loves LO, so she held him and watched him while I got my haircut. When her son got home, he translated that we made her week and she was so happy to get out of the house, and to spend time with LO!
After a year of being the foreigners, I'm so glad we can pay it forward (and am grateful for a willing babysitter!),
Imagine your Japanese/ Asain cultures concept of honor and tradition, and apply it to these people, and then corrupt it so its extreme. Add in the fact she is a woman in a position of head of house (like a duchess, maybe) in a male dominated culture where pretty much every other house wants her dead because either they are enemies with her family or because her house is now weak and they can rise the honor and ranking of their house by getting her out of the way. Thru innovation, thinking outside the box and against tradition, political savvy-ness, and sacrifice she brings her house away from becoming lost to dust (all family members dead and all retainers and servants made slaves to the conquering house). Over the three books she grows as a woman and while she becomes more adept at the Great Game of the Counsel (deadly political maneuvering) she collects more enemies and her perceptions change, falls in love with a slave and her perceptions and sense of honor change again. She ends up challenging her culture and the strongest source of power in it.
Just... The series has a very strong lead female character who is badass, honestly, using nothing but her shrewd mind and her ability to play a real life game of chess where her family and retainers are all at stake - to lose means death and dishonor. It's a girl power series. The supporting characters are awesome in their own rights.
I give the series to any woman I know who reads even a little and I feel needs a strong dose of 'woman, put your chin up' inspiration.
If we had had a daughter, I would have named her Mara.
TL,DR - sorry, I love them so much I can't help myself but to talk about them. The name is Mara, the books are by Raymond Feist in collaboration with Janny Wurts, called Daughter of the Empire, Servant of the Empire, Mistress of the Empire
Which leads to my daily gratitude today: DH and I went and got library cards and rediscovered the local library. They have an awesome selection and three baby programs that I'm looking forward to.
And also an awesomely nerdy staff, who do things like pick up a telephone and say very seriously, "I need back up. I've got a two-new-cards situation up here."
In other news, LO slept until 830 this morning! What the what? I had woken up at 6 and been up from 6-7, thinking he would get up at 7am like usual. He did stir and act like he was about to wake at 7, so I did my morning routine of feeding the cat and moving a bottle of water to the couch and taking my supplements, but by the time I had gotten back upstairs he had gone back to sleep, instead of me finding a totally awake baby like usual. So I laid back down and managed to fall asleep again until he woke me up again.
So, I got to sleep in (kinda)! Love sleeping in, and then finding a smiley baby boy. At least, until he realizes he's really hungry and starts to cry. But he always smiles at me for a few minutes in the morning. He's awesome.
I read a quote somewhere that being a friend to someone with depression is one of the hardest and most generous things you can do. I would agree. I know I am beyond difficult when things are bad. I really appreciate all of you creepy Internet strangers who listen and let me vent. You guys are the best.
Grateful grateful, indeed!
He put his career on hold to follow me for the past 15 months (and forseeable future). It's been a really tough time for him, and his identity and ego were really suffering. So this is not about money, but about dignity and life satisfaction. I am sooo happy and relieved for him!
And he's so much happier now. This is a real game changer for him/us.
Woot woot!! \:D/
PS, they have milk stout on tap. Win-win!