I'm jealous of those of you with good relationships with your moms. I hope to do better with my daughter than my mom did with me.
My mother is wonderful, and we are very close. It is because she wanted to be a nicer mother than she had. (Her mother probably suffered depression, but my mother says she was mean and they were "never allowed to have any joy at home"). So if that's your goal, it will definitely work out (especially if you can identify specific ways you want to be different), and that's a really nice way to channel positive energy from what could otherwise be something pretty negative.
I love both of my parents, but I don't really like my father, and I'm not really into spending time with my mom (tho at least I like her, unlike my dad). I do have specific things my parents did that I do not want to do with my LO, and DH has characteristics that he doesn't want to bring from his family as well. It is helpful to know what we want to avoid so that hopefully my relationship (and DH's) with our son is closer than the relationship I have with my parents. I'd really consider it to a great honor if when my LO is having kids of his own, his family will be happy to have us around like your guys'.
Samurai is family, so I can gripe about him here. Homiecat is slacking on the job. There has been a fly in the living room since last night, and its been all up in my and LOs business. Samurai keeps watching it, and taking the occasional swipe at it, but he's not putting the effort into chasing it, catching it and killing or eating it. Dude. You have ONE job to do, and that is to catch the bugs that make their way inside. What do I pay you in canned food and kibble for? =;
Since we are moving tomorrow and need to stay with her for a week, I finally had to tell Grandma today that we are moving back to Europe. (I sobbed when I told her!) Fortunately, my cousin just announced her pregnancy, due in April - and Grandma is SUPER pumped the baby could share her birthday. So Grandma took the news pretty well, though I was a mess.
Grandma: I just want to live to see [LO] walk. Me: Ok. I promise the moment he walks, we will book a flight home. Grandma: OR you could just send a picture, you know!
Contractor: Is this your first great-grandchild? Grandma: No, he's my fifth! And we have another in the oven!!
My MIL is such a bitch. She has hated me since the day my dh proposed, even though we were best friends before that. She said I was taking her son away, I wasn't becoming part of the family. She's treated me like dirt ever since. She's told my dh she wants to only see and talk to him and our kids, but have nothing to do with me. She's a complete control freak, and I don't let her control me, so she hates me. Well ds is 3 years old. She's maybe seen him 10 times his whole life. She's never met our twin girls, who are almost 4 months old. Our ds doesn't even know so she is, he's scared of her because she never comes around. She lives 90 minutes away, but comes to town every other weekend. I didn't hear from her once my entire 10 week leave about coming to meet the girls and see ds. When I went back to work, she knows I have to work weekends, so she asked dh if she could come over while I was at work. He told her she could come when I got home. She refused. Now she told my dh that she's taking us to court over grandparents rights, because we're refusing to let her see our children. We aren't refusing. We just told her she has to do it when I'm home. We're a family, it's all or none. I'm just floored that she thinks the court would grant her visitation when she refuses to see the kids when she is in town. She's the one keeping herself from them. We tell her she can stop and see them, but I have to be home. She's the one who refuses to come on her own free will.
@DolphinLover2002 Just wow. Hopefully it was just an empty threat and not something you actually have to deal with. She will have a rude awakening if she tries to take you to court. And that will do wonders for your relationship...
@DolphinLover2002 wow, that's insane. But why do you want to be home if you don't like her? I get that you want to make the point that you're a family package, but would it be possible to do that for bigger events like Christmas, and let yourself off the hook for having to be around for her visits? Not trying to offend or get in the middle. My SIL and my parents don't get along, and it just works best for everyone if my brother and nieces spend time with my parents without SIL. It's a win-win in that case. Hope the silliness resolves outside of court. Big hugs, so glad you have a supportive DH
@DolphinLover2002 I'm so sorry you have to deal with a crazy mil. The bright side is at least DH is siding with you and protecting your relationship. Hope she checks into reality soon. She may not have much of a family left if she keeps up her antics.
@DolphinLover2002 wow, that's insane. But why do you want to be home if you don't like her? I get that you want to make the point that you're a family package, but would it be possible to do that for bigger events like Christmas, and let yourself off the hook for having to be around for her visits? Not trying to offend or get in the middle. My SIL and my parents don't get along, and it just works best for everyone if my brother and nieces spend time with my parents without SIL. It's a win-win in that case. Hope the silliness resolves outside of court. Big hugs, so glad you have a supportive DH
No, I understand completely. The thing is, she thinks it's totally acceptable to treat me like crap. But yet she wants the benefit of spending time with my children. She has told ds is the past (on a visit where I wasn't there) that he doesn't need to listen to what I tell him. My dh of course put a stop to that right away. If I'm around, she doesn't try that crap. She purposely makes babies cry, because she says those are the best pictures you can have of a baby. She won't listen to us when it comes to the rules of our parenting. She talks crap about me to ds if I'm not there. Of course dh defends me, but it puts a lot of stress on him having to defend me constantly. If I'm home, I run my own defense if she says crap. My dh doesn't even want her around because of the way she acts. He's sick of putting up with her. If he really wanted to spend time with her, I'd let him in a heartbeat. But he doesn't.
I see. And the difference in our case is my mother doesn't say anything bad about SIL to my brother or do anything with their kids that they don't like. So I'm comparing apples to oranges. To stick with the fruit theme, your husband sounds like a peach! So sorry you guys have to deal with that woman
My rant is silly but still bothers me... My BIL and his wife have been living with us because they had a house fire. That was no big deal but they have covered our dining room table in their stinky herbs and house plants. So for 2 months we have been balancing our plates on our laps and it's getting old! I don't even have a place for my daughter to play playdough and colour. Today, they move out and into their own place (it's been over 2 months which with newborn twins, a toddler, and a handicapped girl who I work respite for 2 days a week has been a lot) and they left the plants behind!! They'll "come back for them once their situated". Ugh!!! I just want my table back! So petty. They also have 2 large freezers they can't fit into their basement suite that they are currently storing here. There goes my very stretched out pennies to freeze your food.
He's my husband's youngest brother so the sense of entitlement is a bit much. Like he wants my hubby to pick him up and drive him places because "he's not so sure" about the bus system. Well then buy a second car!!
^^I don't find it petty at all that you want your dining room table back, if that's where your family has meals and activities usually. I'm overly gracious to guests, and I think that's taking it too far. There's nowhere else the plants can go?!
I can't believe Grandparents Rights is even a thing. I'm looking this up
I had to Google it too! I had never heard of it. It's basically if a grandparent used to be a primary caretaker of the child/children, and the parents cut them off. At least that's what I got from it. You have to prove that you have an outstanding relationship with the child in question, and prove that is what is best for the child. My ds doesn't even know who my mil is. She has no relationship with him, from her own choice.
My rant is silly but still bothers me... My BIL and his wife have been living with us because they had a house fire. That was no big deal but they have covered our dining room table in their stinky herbs and house plants. So for 2 months we have been balancing our plates on our laps and it's getting old! I don't even have a place for my daughter to play playdough and colour. Today, they move out and into their own place (it's been over 2 months which with newborn twins, a toddler, and a handicapped girl who I work respite for 2 days a week has been a lot) and they left the plants behind!! They'll "come back for them once their situated". Ugh!!! I just want my table back! So petty. They also have 2 large freezers they can't fit into their basement suite that they are currently storing here. There goes my very stretched out pennies to freeze your food.
He's my husband's youngest brother so the sense of entitlement is a bit much. Like he wants my hubby to pick him up and drive him places because "he's not so sure" about the bus system. Well then buy a second car!!
Rant over haha.
Your daughters fun is more important then stupid plants. Put them outside. If they care they'll pick them up
Re: Family rants and raves: September!
Grandma: I just want to live to see [LO] walk.
Me: Ok. I promise the moment he walks, we will book a flight home.
Grandma: OR you could just send a picture, you know!
Contractor: Is this your first great-grandchild?
Grandma: No, he's my fifth! And we have another in the oven!!
Sorry you're going through this.
Not trying to offend or get in the middle. My SIL and my parents don't get along, and it just works best for everyone if my brother and nieces spend time with my parents without SIL. It's a win-win in that case.
Hope the silliness resolves outside of court. Big hugs, so glad you have a supportive DH
To stick with the fruit theme, your husband sounds like a peach! So sorry you guys have to deal with that woman
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
My rant is silly but still bothers me...
My BIL and his wife have been living with us because they had a house fire. That was no big deal but they have covered our dining room table in their stinky herbs and house plants. So for 2 months we have been balancing our plates on our laps and it's getting old! I don't even have a place for my daughter to play playdough and colour. Today, they move out and into their own place (it's been over 2 months which with newborn twins, a toddler, and a handicapped girl who I work respite for 2 days a week has been a lot) and they left the plants behind!! They'll "come back for them once their situated". Ugh!!! I just want my table back! So petty. They also have 2 large freezers they can't fit into their basement suite that they are currently storing here. There goes my very stretched out pennies to freeze your food.
He's my husband's youngest brother so the sense of entitlement is a bit much. Like he wants my hubby to pick him up and drive him places because "he's not so sure" about the bus system. Well then buy a second car!!
Rant over haha.