Having sex

yogahh · September 2015

Since we got our bfps we have not had sex. Mainly because it scares me. I know, I know... It won't hurt the baby. But it can cause bleeding I've been reading? Pls tell me I am not the only one that feels this way! I want to still have that connection with DH but again, terrified of doing everything!

seashellz1223 · September 2015

Haha I'm the same way- even though logic tells me it's perfectly fine! Ugh!

lalala2004 · September 2015

The only reason sex can cause bleeding is the same reason you can be more prone to nose bleeds. Our bodies are making more blood and some of your veins can be more sensitive. It doesn't have anything to do with the health of the baby. Unless you're having some other issue and your doctor tells you to take pelvic rest, you have nothing to worry about.

Also, we've had sex plenty of times, and no bleeding has occurred.

yogahh · September 2015

lalala2004 said:

The only reason sex can cause bleeding is the same reason you can be more prone to nose bleeds. Our bodies are making more blood and some of your veins can be more sensitive. It doesn't have anything to do with the health of the baby. Unless you're having some other issue and your doctor tells you to take pelvic rest, you have nothing to worry about. Also, we've had sex plenty of times, and no bleeding has occurred.

I am an absolute basket case. I really need to have my 1st apt, but its not for another month. Until then, I am worried about everything!

dsmith211 · September 2015

I'm super paranoid about it. We've done it once since we found out but I was kinda freaking out the whole time. I think I might feel better once my first appt passes but that's like a month away.

countrygrl5533 · September 2015

I had issues with sex causing major bleeding during my pregnancy with DD. The doc finally decided I must just have a very vascular cervix and had to abstain for the rest of the pregnancy (that was at 13 weeks so it was a loooooong time).

That being said, I was in the minority. Some light bleeding is very common and not a reason to be concerned. If it is heavy or happens every, single time, then there is a concern. But the majority of women have no issues with bleeding with sex during pregnancy. So go ahead and try!!

aubreystutzman · September 2015

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I've had zero sex drive since I found out and I really feel bad about it. It's like I just cant bring myself to do it yet for fear something might happen.... Ugh my poor hubby.

Copernicus08 · September 2015

Glad I'm not the only one. I've been paranoid about it and too tired to even think about doing it. But it has been close to two weeks now and DH is getting antsy.

saladflambe · September 2015

We've not had sex either, but that's pretty normal for me. I'm not a fan of sex. -.-

seashellz1223 · September 2015

This makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one irrationally worrying about it. What @lalala2004 said makes a lot of sense! DH is more worried than I am I think. Hopefully I can coax him into it soon!!

sincerelymom · September 2015

The first time we tried we had to stop because my husband said I kept cringing. Lol.

Bookhousegirl · September 2015

We also haven't yet, and I'm definitely nervous! My first pregnancy I had some bleeding in the 1st trimester so we didn't get back into the swing of things until a few months in. I guess I'm in that same mindset again, and fearful that sex might trigger the bleeding this time (even though I know that's irrational) but I'm determined to power through it since there's absolutely no reason not to!

krzyriver · September 2015

We haven't yet either and we don't plan too. I learned the hard way that, when pregnant, orgasms cause extremely painful cramps for me. I'm literally curled up in a ball crying. Feels like I'm miscarrying. Apparently that's common? And doesn't hurt the baby at all. But it is NOT worth it. Lol

gooberdoofus95 · September 2015

We have had sex a lot. I haven't experienced any bleeding but I've noticed that some positions are more sensitive than others now. So we just avoid them. As PP has states it's because of hormones and our body producing more blood to accommodate LO and the veins down there will break more easily if your are ever truly concerned them don't hesitate to call your doctor!!

BeansMom2014 · September 2015

We haven't - I'm not that in to it right now. Also....we have our toddler sharing a room with us (just for a couple months until we get our spare bedroom back!) - nothing is going to happen for awhile. Last time around DH didn't want to have sex after I started showing....I did NOT take offense to this, I was pumped. I'm like you @saladflambe just not my favorite thing.

amber94michelle · September 2015

We still have sex everyday. Sometimes it hurts in certain positions. But I haven't had any problems bleeding.

lalala2004 · September 2015

krzyriver said:

We haven't yet either and we don't plan too. I learned the hard way that, when pregnant, orgasms cause extremely painful cramps for me. I'm literally curled up in a ball crying. Feels like I'm miscarrying. Apparently that's common? And doesn't hurt the baby at all. But it is NOT worth it. Lol

That happened to me once, but can't you have sex without an orgasm? Heck, I can't have sex and actually achieve an orgasm simultaneously...

doozer1345 · September 2015

DH was this way with our first especially in the second trimester. I just rolled my eyes and told him not to flatter himself HA! If you're not comfortable doing it then don't. Mainly bc if you're uncomfortable you both won't enjoy it anyways. There's other things you can do without intercourse to be intimate ((wink wink)) if you need physical connection. Although I wouldn't recommend one such act if you're feeling nauseated

.

krzyriver · September 2015

lalala2004 said:

krzyriver said:

We haven't yet either and we don't plan too. I learned the hard way that, when pregnant, orgasms cause extremely painful cramps for me. I'm literally curled up in a ball crying. Feels like I'm miscarrying. Apparently that's common? And doesn't hurt the baby at all. But it is NOT worth it. Lol

That happened to me once, but can't you have sex without an orgasm? Heck, I can't have sex and actually achieve an orgasm simultaneously...

I mean yeah, we could try. But usually when I do orgasm during sex, it sneaks up on me. It literally takes me by surprise. I don't want to risk it. It was *that* painful. Lol. I'm a little hesitant to have sex anyway... I miscarried 3 years ago so I just want to get through my first trimester before I even worry about sex. Or at least talk to my doctor first.

Sienna516 · September 2015

I guess I'm an unlucky one. I had blood this last Saturday after sex and was worried I might be starting to miscarry (it was a very small amount). Then I was having female issues (ended up being a yeast infection) and went to the doctor and she said when she was swabbing that my cervix was very sensitive and her dabbing by it caused it to bleed, so that was the cause the other day.. So I'm a little relieved, but a little upset because I still want to have sex, but I don't think my husband will want to if it makes me bleed because he finds blood to be disgusting. The doctor said it was still safe for us to continue to have sex (once my yeast infection is gone).

kmcchs · September 2015

We're still having sex, but I'm finding that I don't enjoy some positions that I used to enjoy...Not that they hurt or anything, just some of the "'ol faithful" ones we do aren't doing it for me.

JackieH102 · September 2015

I understand! My husband wanted to do it last night and I was so nervous. I thought "what if we shake it loose or something"...but of course everything was fine.

kwilson7613 · September 2015

We've only had sex twice since I got BFP the 15th. Last time I was super sensitive (in the good way) and actually had two orgasms and it was fantastic...but I spotted bright red after. It's freaked me out enough that I'm scared to do it anymore until at least our first appointment. That's not until Oct 27th though. So long!

cortney626 · September 2015

We have sex often and no issues. I always want it. Some positions are a little more sensitive but we've never had any bleeding. I try to keep everything as normal as possible (sex life, me cooking dinner, etc). I know I'm growing a human and have an excuse to be "off" but it's important to me to try and keep things as normal as I can.

nerdymama15 · September 2015

We haven't had sex since the bfp. I don't think we are planning to either. Last time we did and I bled some afterwards and then didn't stop bleeding until I miscarried. I know sex did not cause the mc, but the timing of the whole thing was really really bad in that regard. So no sex for us until after the baby is born!!!!!!! Maybe TMI here, but I told DH he could have as many hand jobs, etc as he wanted, but no sex.

wsgjmw1 · September 2015

No sex for us since BFP. I've hooked DH up in other ways but I'm too scared right now and have zero sexual interest . Going to wait until after my first appointment.

laurenmdrn16 · September 2015

I have absolutely zero sex drive right now. I can't stop puking long enough to get in the mood and I am just exhausted. MH has been working extra shifts to save up for baby so we barely see each other anyways.

But I'm not concerned because if this is anything like last pregnancy, I am going to be a complete horn dog by 12-14 weeks and we will more than make up for lack of sex right now!

buffythevampireslayer · September 2015

I'm not in the mood often but whenever I feel okay I go for it since I want to maintain as much normalcy as possible in our sex lives right now. I'm sure it will be much harder once the baby does come so I want to take advantage of this time! I also hear it feels amazing during the second trimester and orgasms are very easy to achieve, so I'm looking forward to seeing if that is true for me!

angc4 · September 2015

I had the same experience as @nerdymama15 ...

*trigger warning*

It was my first bfp, 5 weeks in and I told myself I was gonna not be scared and just do my normal stuff, so I had sex on a Sunday, did a hike (which I'm accustomed to) on a Monday or Tuesday I think, and started bleeding on Wednesday resulting in a natural mc.

They say this stuff doesn't cause mc's but it was definitely a scarring experience. We have not had sex yet

soralette · September 2015

We keep on having sex as normal. Last time, I think I had one-drop-of-blood spotting once after things were a little rougher than usual, but that was about it.

One bit of evidence in the pro-sex column: Continued exposure to the father's semen may help protect against pre-eclampsia ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12896827 ).

mightylady · September 2015

Sex is safe.

JackieH102 · September 2015

We haven't been doing it either. Not because we don't want to, but because I want to get to the doctor at 8 weeks and have everything be OK before we do it. Luckily he feels the same way

Once we find out our kid is healthy and everything looks good then we will continue with our usual activities

ocean134 · September 2015

I'm having spotting issues and am too scared to have sex right now. Going for an US today to make sure everything is ok.

saraleigh2 · October 2015

6w2d I'm exhausted, nauseous, my breasts hurt, and I've had mild lower abdominal cramps... I might as well be wearing a 'don't touch me sign' I really miss the closeness and intimacy but I just don't feel up to it

camillaandcarson · October 2015

I had issues with sex causing major bleeding during my pregnancy

I am also another one of those on what the doctor called pelvic rest.

kjac38 · October 2015

I couldn't agree more. I miss DH but it just ain't happening

Kennedy0830 · October 2015

DH and I have more sex now than we did before getting pregnant. And he's actually the one initiating! Luckily I feel fine (no MS) so I'm always up for it. Haven't had any issues either with bleeding or uncomfortableness.

lionstigersbears · October 2015

I spotted once with DS in the first trimester but no issues this time around. Sure it worried me, but there's no way I'm going to let illogical fear create such a wall between DH and I. Now sleep on the other hand...yes, that has made it difficult. I pass out so early in the evening DH has to come visit me if he wants to get any!

laurenmdrn16 · October 2015

MH and I just had this discussion last night. Early in our relationship, he was unfaithful during a very stressful time for both of us (he had just been laid off, we just moved in together and were planning our wedding, I had got a new job that was very demanding). When I was pregnant with my son, we were very close and..ahem...active. Now, he is working two jobs, I am working full time and taking care of our 2 yr old son and I have had HG and been feeling just exhausted so there is no time or energy for anything. I flat out asked if he was having an affair because I know he isn't getting any at home and, to be honest, probably wouldn't have even been mad if he said yes. He actually laughed and said "Yeah, with what time?!" And he is right. He continued "Honey, I am old and tired. You are the only woman I could ever want to be with, but right now, it is not about not wanting you. I just can't even get in that mindset. All my energy is thinking about how I can provide for our family and get a better job and keep things afloat." and I said "Me too! After taking care of the house and our son and stressing about work and feeling tired and sick, I have no desire or energy." We are also concerned about the sperm allergy theory of pre-e that women who are exposed to the father's sperm during pregnancy may have a greater chance of developing pre-e. But we still love each other. We are still intimate, just not having sex. Neither of us can handle that right now and we barely see each other anyways. Our relationship is talking on the phone in between his two jobs or a quick kiss in the morning while he is running out the door and I am trying to get our toddler dressed. He leaves the house at 6:45am and doesn't get home until 11:30pm and I am already fast asleep. On the weekends, we both have gigs or we have family plans so we are doing fun stuff together, but there is no time for just us. Which, surprisingly, I am actually ok with. I love MH and he is my best friend, but I don't always feel like I need to be with him all the time.

The one thing I feel bad about is that I want my son (and now future son/daughter) to see that Mommy and Dadda have a loving relationship. I grew up with a single mother so I never really saw her being a wife or even a romantic partner and it did kind of make me wonder what I was supposed to do as a girlfriend. I ended up being in a few very abusive relationships because I just didn't know what it was supposed to be like and thought I was supposed to just do whatever the guy wanted. I want to model a healthy, loving relationship for our kids, but I'm not sure how we can do that when we are never together. I talk about how much I love Dadda and put him in our nightly prayers, but we don't even sit together at church because he is a deacon and I sing in the choir. We do look at pictures of when Mommy and Dadda were dating so I guess that helps to reinforce that we love each other and at one time it was just the two of us. But it is weird how life changes things and you can't always tell if it is for the better,

yogahh · October 2015

I started this thread a month ago today... and we still haven't had sex

Tried once, but it was just weird. Felt very "pokey". I have been tired, and fat, and gross. Feeling sexy is the last thing on my mind. We are going to give it the ol college try again this weekend though. Poor DH. Luckily, we have never been a couple that has sex a lot..once or twice a week if we are lucky. Just looking at it as a bump in the road, and once we know everything is ok, we will be right back at it

sarawifenow · October 2015

@yogahh I will say that the first couple of times that H and I had sex after we found out about the baby were very uncomfortable for me. Everything just feels...different?...and it threw me off. I will say that things are much better now. Then again, we had a ton of sex before we got pregnant so I think that might have something to do with it.

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