I never said I support her decision to continue to smoke while pregnant. I was just pointing out that there is another way to get your point across with out bullying the person that clearly needs help. We don't have to agree with everyone all the time but it is wrong to bully someone because we don't agree with what they do.
I never said I support her decision to continue to smoke while pregnant. I was just pointing out that there is another way to get your point across with out bullying the person that clearly needs help. We don't have to agree with everyone all the time but it is wrong to bully someone because we don't agree with what they do.
There was no bullying. I've seen true bullying. This was simply being down right honest and not sugar coating anything.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
@kynbar5 , If my encouraging the OP and women like her to seek medical help seems like enabling to you so be it. I think an OB should be told if his patient smokes so more frequent ultrasounds can be arranged. It's important to assess uteroplacental blood flow and fetal blood flow in smoking moms. Sometimes it is compromised and sometimes it isn't. I just think it's wise to let women like the OP know that there are options. I hate to WK, but I do think you are a tad bit over zealous in your approach. Smoking during pregnancy is socially unacceptable but not a crime. Until is becomes a crime, it's best that women are told and informed of their options if quitting is out of the question so that medical interventions can be succesfully used if necessary. Just because you scream the loudest doesn't mean you're right. I'm just respecting her right to have a safe birthing experience and healthy child. All women have that right regardless if they're smokers or not. You can vilify OP and her decisions all you want but don't deny her and women like her the support from women like me.
Like I said I see a lot of justified negativity and I understand why people have reacted in the way they have. However that doesn't make it right. I believe in a little tough love but that needs to be coupled with some compassion otherwise it's just a bash fest. There are 70 plus comments on here most of which are purposefully tearing her down. Some of the comments are board line bullying. She will take nothing constructive away from being put down in this manner. If people are trying to make her make a positive change about what she's doing there needs to be some sort of recognition that she is a person who makes mistakes like everyone else but is capable of change.
Speaking for most of us, who had very similar reactions, our words were harsh and targeted. Bullying would have been for us to pick on her, make fun of things she said, call her names or otherwise treat her in an undignified or exploitative manner.
We didn't do any of that - at least not what i saw. I might have missed instances where that happened. We just got very firm. That's not bullying.
And to the poster who suggests that we find ways to help her quit (sorry the reply with quote button isn't working for me for some asinine reason) good idea. Unfortunately, you're asking for the impossible. There is no holy grail of quitting smoking unfortunately. There is only one way to do it. You quit. It sucks. You crave. It continues to suck. There is no easy way to do this I'm afraid. Sure you can use stop smoking aids which are very helpful. but it's either this or cold turkey. These are the only options medical science currently has available.
As to what you can do to distract yourself, may I suggest a hand-focused hobby like origami, painting, sewing, drawing or any number of things that will occupy your hands? It won't kill physical cravings but it is a fantastic distraction.
I actually have scent cravings and one of them is for smoke ANYTHING. Including cigarette smoke. I avoid it obviously but also don't get rabid if i'm walking down the street and somebody blows smoke in my direction. I avoid it but DO like the smell, grossly enough.
my mom.. Smoked during her third trimester with me. About one a week so the legend goes. She had such a severe craving for them that her doctor (DOCTOR, IMAGINE!) told her that "one won't hurt". Well she took that to mean one a week. Which I'm guessing, in her secret soul, may have been more on occasion.
I came a month early. Huge for a preemie, granted. Healthy. But early. I have no idea if it was due to those few smokes or not. I was a healthy enough kid other than a bout of rubella before I had a chance to get my shot. But I DID come early. And that one cigarette a week was all my mom seemed to do wrong.
My aunt, dad's side, who also smoked heavily birthed all her children, all five, VERY early. Under 30 weeks. They were all about a pound and change. Three out of five have quite serious asthma. For micro preemies, they are lucky. Other than all being rather delicate, health-wise growing up, they are functional and fairly healthy adults. Only one is over five foot four. The girls are all under five feet. I hesitated to bring that up because my dad's family are VERY short. Still..
Op you asked what might happen. I am not a doctor. So I can only speak on my own family's experience. This is one thing that might happen. Early babies, possibly underweight, potential health problems. So if you are going to continue smoking, please be prepared for any medical complications that may arise. Use google to learn about the possible outcomes of this very regrettable choice (and it's a choice.) and if you live in the USA,ensure you have good insurance and a nest egg in case she requires care after birth.
You may also birth a completely healthy baby, but the risk of SIDS skyrockets. Not worth it and it's a disgusting habit. Unless yellow teeth and fingernails are your style.
Oh god my biggest regret of smoking for so long is how awful my teeth look ( I go to the dentist all the time for cleanings cause I'm so self conscious about it
You are more concerned with yellow teeth and SIDS? I just can't with you. Wait until you actually do get a scare, I venture to bet you would rather have no teeth than something happen to your child. I get it though, you must be super detached from your pregnancies as to the reason why for all the dumb ass comments on this thread. GET A Clue.
Did you read the whole thread? I was the first to share my personal experience with quitting and addiction, if you READ EVERYTHING you'd know I quit the moment I got my BFP after smoking for many year. My comment about my teeth was in regards to post quitting, they're really damaged from the years of abuse I put them too. How about you go ahead and go back and
re read it... Even better I'll tag you in my past comment.
I am so sorry I did have you confused with the OP! I am on mobile so it wasn't loading properly. I have been having issues with the site for a week or so. Again my apologies the confusion
You may also birth a completely healthy baby, but the risk of SIDS skyrockets. Not worth it and it's a disgusting habit. Unless yellow teeth and fingernails are your style.
Oh god my biggest regret of smoking for so long is how awful my teeth look ( I go to the dentist all the time for cleanings cause I'm so self conscious about it
You are more concerned with yellow teeth and SIDS? I just can't with you. Wait until you actually do get a scare, I venture to bet you would rather have no teeth than something happen to your child. I get it though, you must be super detached from your pregnancies as to the reason why for all the dumb ass comments on this thread. GET A Clue.
Unless I've read this thread wrong @aleecats said she gave up smoking when she found out she was pregnant. The yellow teeth comment was in reference to her smoking BEFORE she got pregnant and It was hardly her saying she is more concerned about yellow teeth than SIDS, in fact I don't even understand how you could have derived that.
My phone is messed up and wasn't loading all the comments properly. So sorry for all the confusion!
I can only hope you have confused @aleecats with the OP as otherwise this post makes no sense as to why you are so angry at her.
I'm not sure if the quote buttons are working correctly but I want to apologize for replying incorrectly to the thread! My frustration was towards the OP and somehow my replies got all jumbled.
And because my phone wont let me tag people either right now - To the girl who thinks we are bullying, we did not make fun of her in any way but we were very firm in our opinions about her choices. That doesn't make us bully's, just honest.
I'm not sure if the quote buttons are working correctly but I want to apologize for replying incorrectly to the thread! My frustration was towards the OP and somehow my replies got all jumbled.
And because my phone wont let me tag people either right now - To the girl who thinks we are bullying, we did not make fun of her in any way but we were very firm in our opinions about her choices. That doesn't make us bully's, just honest.
After I calmed down for a moment I figured that's what had happened. Sorry to be so rude in my original response to you! I've been having the same issues with the site on my app (just writing this reply it's crashed 3 times) and I see how in the jumbled mess that is this thread my comment about my teeth could come off without context! I think everyone here (whom are in agreement about smoking while pregnant is never okay) got a little emotional and responded as such! Myself included because I've seen what it can do to children and it's just not worth it! Thank you for the apology and I'm sorry as well!
I cannot believe people are WKing this post! NOBODY who knowingly puts their unborn child at any risk gets to be butthurt, neither do those sticking up for her!
Here's the thing, you've had over 30 weeks to cut down and quit your habbit, you KNOW you're damaging your baby, the only true innocent person in this situation, the one who HAS TO trust you with everything they have to keep them safe and healthy. Purposely doing something to put your child at risk is considered as abuse IMO, you're kid isn't even here yet, and you're already abusing him/her!
Not only are you doing this to them, by continuing to smoke, you're putting your own health at risk, this is something your kid will have to watch as the years go by, they'll have to watch you slowly kill yourself, i'm sure they'll appreciate that!
If anyone here is pregnant and still smoking, no matter how far along your pregnancy is, PLEASE, for the love of your baby, quit now, while you can't undo what's already been done, you can at the very least minimize further health risks, you more than owe them that!
Here's a youtube video showing 4D ultrasounds of a mother who doesn't smoke compared to one who does, this is probably the least disturbing video I have ever seen, but it's still shocking enough, please watch.
And hey white knights...fucking white knight against this if you can!
1. Every time @bigboobsmcgee comments I read her posts in Big Ange's voice.
2. OP, I think you should speak to your provider and discuss the possible outcomes (good, bad, ugly, all of them), then the next steps to do what is best for baby. I think the PPs gave you some great info and clear pics (literally), and you should take the info into consideration and just try not to take anything that you felt come across as rude or anything, personally.
That's awesome! I hope other people do too Someone sent me a really horrible PM making fun of how I look because they thought my avatar was really a picture of me! Bahahahaha
Not my mother, but my father and grandmother smoked heavily while my mother was pregnant. My mother inhaled the second hand smoke, which I'm sure was almost as bad as smoking herself. She tried to get them to either move elsewhere, or quit. Neither would comply. They continued to smoke while I was an infant and could do nothing but breathe in the cigarette smoke.
Now? I'm severely asthmatic to the point where I require a rescue puffer just to climb a set of stairs, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. Doctor is 100% convinced that both of those issues stem from their lack of quitting while I was too young to have a say in the matter.
My father and grandmother? They're both going to die within the next five years from COPD and lung-related issues. Neither of them will get to see my son grow up and go to school. Neither of them will get to see him graduate or get married. And I'll tell you what, that just about kills my father every time he thinks about it. Ever since I told him I'm pregnant, he has wanted nothing more than to go back to when my mother first got pregnant with me and quit.
So if you won't quit for your baby's safety and health, quit for the emotional trauma you'll inevitably put them through when you die from smoking-related causes if you don't.
I'm 30 yrs old, and have been a 2 pack a day smoker since I was 15. I'm currently 7wk 2 days pregnant, i quit at week 5. I did it by cuttting down dramatically each day for a week and at the end of the week I quit. Since my quit date, everytjme I have a craving I go online and look at pics of black placentas and underweight babies and other pics related to smoking while pregnant. It will make u think twice about how worth it that cigarette is. It's totally possible to quit no matter how addicted u are....like I said, 2 packs a day for 15 years and I'm smoke free. Anyone can do it, u just have to want to do it.
Lurking from 1st trimester. I'm kind of shocked that this is even still an issue today with all the information available out there. The OP blew my mind, and it takes a lot to do that.
I used to smoke a pack a day and the minute I found out I was pregnant I stopped. I get that it's hard but your baby comes first. I really can't believe there's people out there that actually smoke the whole pregnancy. Its not about judging, it's just wrong, you are knownly harming your baby. I couldn't livr with myself if I did that to her.
Some women just really shouldn't be allowed to procreate
Out of everything on here, I actually think this is a little fucked up to say.
While I respect your opinion, I have to kindly disagree. I truly believe some women are not responsible enough to have children. All too often I've seen women who do not have their lives together, make poor decisions either about their health or their children's health and continue to get pregnant. I think it's irresponsible to bring a child into the world when they are going to consciously do things that are not good for their children's health. I've known women to get pregnant so they can get money from the state because they're too lazy to go find a job. We all know that raising a child is a huge responsibility and if some women are not going to put the needs of their child before the needs of their own, then I truly believe they have no business in getting pregnant in the first place. By no means am I saying that I am perfect, because I'm not, but I also know that my life isn't just my life anymore. It's mine and my child's life, and I will do whatever I can to provide a happy and healthy life for my child. Again, I mean no disrespect, I just have to disagree with you in saying that it's messed up, because I believe it's the truth.
Wow. The image of a smoking pregnant woman is so disturbing. I smoked for many years and in those years, quit a thousand times. It's so hard! I finally quit for good a year ago knowing that I wanted babies. My own health was never enough incentive, but this time finally stuck. I would do anything, ANYTHING, to protect my baby. If ever you had a reason to quit, it should be now. The first while sucks, and will be one of THE hardest things you've ever done. But it will also be the most rewarding. I have always thought how remorseful I would be if told I had emphysema or lung cancer, thinking how dumb I had been to keep smoking. Can you even imagine how magnified that remorse would be if done to your child? It's just not worth it. Cigs offer only short-term perceived relief from a horrible, evil addiction. Quitting, while sucky in the short-term, offers long-time relief and happiness. Trust me, from one long-time smoker to another, it WILL be the best thing you ever do. Just quit.
I used to smoke a pack a day and the minute I found out I was pregnant I stopped. I get that it's hard but your baby comes first. I really can't believe there's people out there that actually smoke the whole pregnancy. Its not about judging, it's just wrong, you are knownly harming your baby. I couldn't livr with myself if I did that to her.
Good for you! That was hard. It's probably still hard. You should be really proud of yourself.
My opinion isn't that nice when it comes to pregnant women and smoking/drinking/drugs. Fining them isn't nearly harsh enough. I can't say what I think should be done to them for risk of being banned.
Re: Smoking and pregnancy?
We didn't do any of that - at least not what i saw. I might have missed instances where that happened. We just got very firm. That's not bullying.
And to the poster who suggests that we find ways to help her quit (sorry the reply with quote button isn't working for me for some asinine reason) good idea. Unfortunately, you're asking for the impossible. There is no holy grail of quitting smoking unfortunately. There is only one way to do it. You quit. It sucks. You crave. It continues to suck. There is no easy way to do this I'm afraid. Sure you can use stop smoking aids which are very helpful. but it's either this or cold turkey. These are the only options medical science currently has available.
As to what you can do to distract yourself, may I suggest a hand-focused hobby like origami, painting, sewing, drawing or any number of things that will occupy your hands? It won't kill physical cravings but it is a fantastic distraction.
my mom.. Smoked during her third trimester with me. About one a week so the legend goes. She had such a severe craving for them that her doctor (DOCTOR, IMAGINE!) told her that "one won't hurt". Well she took that to mean one a week. Which I'm guessing, in her secret soul, may have been more on occasion.
I came a month early. Huge for a preemie, granted. Healthy. But early. I have no idea if it was due to those few smokes or not. I was a healthy enough kid other than a bout of rubella before I had a chance to get my shot. But I DID come early. And that one cigarette a week was all my mom seemed to do wrong.
My aunt, dad's side, who also smoked heavily birthed all her children, all five, VERY early. Under 30 weeks. They were all about a pound and change. Three out of five have quite serious asthma. For micro preemies, they are lucky. Other than all being rather delicate, health-wise growing up, they are functional and fairly healthy adults. Only one is over five foot four. The girls are all under five feet. I hesitated to bring that up because my dad's family are VERY short. Still..
Op you asked what might happen. I am not a doctor. So I can only speak on my own family's experience. This is one thing that might happen. Early babies, possibly underweight, potential health problems. So if you are going to continue smoking, please be prepared for any medical complications that may arise. Use google to learn about the possible outcomes of this very regrettable choice (and it's a choice.) and if you live in the USA,ensure you have good insurance and a nest egg in case she requires care after birth.
I am so sorry I did have you confused with the OP! I am on mobile so it wasn't loading properly. I have been having issues with the site for a week or so. Again my apologies the confusion
And because my phone wont let me tag people either right now - To the girl who thinks we are bullying, we did not make fun of her in any way but we were very firm in our opinions about her choices. That doesn't make us bully's, just honest.
Here's the thing, you've had over 30 weeks to cut down and quit your habbit, you KNOW you're damaging your baby, the only true innocent person in this situation, the one who HAS TO trust you with everything they have to keep them safe and healthy. Purposely doing something to put your child at risk is considered as abuse IMO, you're kid isn't even here yet, and you're already abusing him/her!
Not only are you doing this to them, by continuing to smoke, you're putting your own health at risk, this is something your kid will have to watch as the years go by, they'll have to watch you slowly kill yourself, i'm sure they'll appreciate that!
If anyone here is pregnant and still smoking, no matter how far along your pregnancy is, PLEASE, for the love of your baby, quit now, while you can't undo what's already been done, you can at the very least minimize further health risks, you more than owe them that!
Here's a youtube video showing 4D ultrasounds of a mother who doesn't smoke compared to one who does, this is probably the least disturbing video I have ever seen, but it's still shocking enough, please watch.
And hey white knights...fucking white knight against this if you can!
That's awesome! I hope other people do too
Jamie
First Pregnancy
Second Pregnancy
- BFP: 09/11/2015
- EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born04/15/2016
PGAL
Out of everything on here, I actually think this is a little fucked up to say.
Out of everything on here, I actually think this is a little fucked up to say.
While I respect your opinion, I have to kindly disagree. I truly believe some women are not responsible enough to have children. All too often I've seen women who do not have their lives together, make poor decisions either about their health or their children's health and continue to get pregnant. I think it's irresponsible to bring a child into the world when they are going to consciously do things that are not good for their children's health. I've known women to get pregnant so they can get money from the state because they're too lazy to go find a job. We all know that raising a child is a huge responsibility and if some women are not going to put the needs of their child before the needs of their own, then I truly believe they have no business in getting pregnant in the first place. By no means am I saying that I am perfect, because I'm not, but I also know that my life isn't just my life anymore. It's mine and my child's life, and I will do whatever I can to provide a happy and healthy life for my child. Again, I mean no disrespect, I just have to disagree with you in saying that it's messed up, because I believe it's the truth.
Good for you! That was hard. It's probably still hard. You should be really proud of yourself.