blessed

skilouise · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:
I am here for support and I've struggled to get pregnant for over a year. I get that it's hard to hear when someone else is pregnant but this seems so harsh and rude.

Would you walk into a random RE's office and announce to a waiting room full of women you don't know that you were pregnant? No. Then why is it ok to do the same here?

fitlady21 · September 2015

@ttcours2015 Have you been on this sight long? As someone TTC for over a year, I would think it would be insensitive to log onto a TTC board and see the words "i m pregnent." No? We love seeing that someone got their BFP.. But not by a drive by. At least participate a few times before posting a BFP. If one lurked, one would notice that there is a TWW that is more appropriate to post that they are pregnant instead of a random misspelled post. And we highly encourage spell check. Especially if the post only involved 2 words.

ttcours2015 · September 2015

PrimRoseMama said:

ttcours2015 said:

I guess I'm too new here to understand all the rude comments.

@ttcours2015 : We get randoms that announce their pregnancy to us on the regular. The reason these "rude comments" are here is because its annoying as all get out to have someone announce their pregnancy when they have not invested in getting to know us. This community is based on mutual contribution. If you don't take time to get to know other posters on a TTC board its rude to trumpet about your positive pregnancy test. In some cases, it can be hurtful to those still trying (for many months or even years).

So yes, you are new, but its really very common sense-- wouldn't you agree? I am more apt to be super excited for a regular poster that has supported me through TTC (whether it be 3 months or 24) than some random that doesn't observe board etiquette. So, being a newbie is awesome in a way-- you get to read and get to know everyone. The down side is that what looks like super rude, catty behavior is actually annoyance at someone behaving in a way that is not appreciated. I hope your stay here is short, but if its not, then you will understand what I'm talking about in a matter of weeks.

Linsbins · September 2015

It hurts enough when I see people I know IRL getting pregnant before me. I am here for support in my journey, and people that have never contributed and just drive by, push the knife in just a little bit further. I can be happy for people I know, but I find it incredibly rude to just brag on a pregnancy in on a board full of women who aren't pregnant and desperately want to be. Stick around for a week and it will tick you off jut as much as it rocks the rest of us off.

I'm hoping @BumpAdmin is having a wild weekend vacation since they aren't closing this, lol.

Lulucooks · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

ttcours2015 said:

I guess I'm too new here to understand all the rude comments.

@ttcours2015 : We get randoms that announce their pregnancy to us on the regular. The reason these "rude comments" are here is because its annoying as all get out to have someone announce their pregnancy when they have not invested in getting to know us. This community is based on mutual contribution. If you don't take time to get to know other posters on a TTC board its rude to trumpet about your positive pregnancy test. In some cases, it can be hurtful to those still trying (for many months or even years).
So yes, you are new, but its really very common sense-- wouldn't you agree? I am more apt to be super excited for a regular poster that has supported me through TTC (whether it be 3 months or 24) than some random that doesn't observe board etiquette. So, being a newbie is awesome in a way-- you get to read and get to know everyone. The down side is that what looks like super rude, catty behavior is actually annoyance at someone behaving in a way that is not appreciated. I hope your stay here is short, but if its not, then you will understand what I'm talking about in a matter of weeks.

My stay here will probably be short as you wish. Because I cannot understand not being happy for anyone who is pregnant!! I'm new to posting but not to the struggle. But I can assure you that I'd be thrilled for any of you that get pregnant. Whether I know you or not. Enjoy your evening and best of luck to you all! I'll find a less judgemental group to get support from.

---qbf---

So this is the night we are going to have, huh?

adiaz132003 · September 2015

*lurking from June board*. It's more an annoyance that people don't want to follow board rules. It says in the newbie guide that you need to givE support to get support. It also says that if you get a BFP you can share on the TWW board and please don't start a thread to announce out of respect to those who don't want to see it. The women on this board can easily avoid the TWW board or keep an eye out for a BFP warning of they are feeling down. It's a matter of earning respect by giving it. That's all they are trying to say.

skilouise · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

ttcours2015 said:

I guess I'm too new here to understand all the rude comments.

@ttcours2015 : We get randoms that announce their pregnancy to us on the regular. The reason these "rude comments" are here is because its annoying as all get out to have someone announce their pregnancy when they have not invested in getting to know us. This community is based on mutual contribution. If you don't take time to get to know other posters on a TTC board its rude to trumpet about your positive pregnancy test. In some cases, it can be hurtful to those still trying (for many months or even years).
So yes, you are new, but its really very common sense-- wouldn't you agree? I am more apt to be super excited for a regular poster that has supported me through TTC (whether it be 3 months or 24) than some random that doesn't observe board etiquette. So, being a newbie is awesome in a way-- you get to read and get to know everyone. The down side is that what looks like super rude, catty behavior is actually annoyance at someone behaving in a way that is not appreciated. I hope your stay here is short, but if its not, then you will understand what I'm talking about in a matter of weeks.

My stay here will probably be short as you wish. Because I cannot understand not being happy for anyone who is pregnant!! I'm new to posting but not to the struggle. But I can assure you that I'd be thrilled for any of you that get pregnant. Whether I know you or not. Enjoy your evening and best of luck to you all! I'll find a less judgemental group to get support from.

***anticipated QBF****

Seriously, I want you to imagine being in an RE's office, waiting to discuss your struggles TTC. A random woman you've never met walks into the waiting room, says "hey ladies! Just wanted to say I'm totes pregnant! I'm so blessed!" then walks out. Can you seriously tell me with a straight face that your first reaction is going to be "wow, how exciting for that random stranger!"?

There is a BMB and First Tri board on TB where she would have been welcomed. Rubbing her BFPs in our faces was rude.

indulgentgypsy · September 2015

**Removed for TOU Violation**

lm45678 · September 2015

I just really want to understand the person that thinks to them self "I'm so bored I want to go upset a bunch of women struggling with fertility today, that will spice things up."

Get a mother f*cking hobby.

PrimRoseMama · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

ttcours2015 said:

I guess I'm too new here to understand all the rude comments.

@ttcours2015 : We get randoms that announce their pregnancy to us on the regular. The reason these "rude comments" are here is because its annoying as all get out to have someone announce their pregnancy when they have not invested in getting to know us. This community is based on mutual contribution. If you don't take time to get to know other posters on a TTC board its rude to trumpet about your positive pregnancy test. In some cases, it can be hurtful to those still trying (for many months or even years).
So yes, you are new, but its really very common sense-- wouldn't you agree? I am more apt to be super excited for a regular poster that has supported me through TTC (whether it be 3 months or 24) than some random that doesn't observe board etiquette. So, being a newbie is awesome in a way-- you get to read and get to know everyone. The down side is that what looks like super rude, catty behavior is actually annoyance at someone behaving in a way that is not appreciated. I hope your stay here is short, but if its not, then you will understand what I'm talking about in a matter of weeks.

@ttcours2015 : luckily someone else quoted you so that I know what you said! I find it very nice that it doesn't bother you when a random commits a drive-by BFP. If you stick around your time might change.

Honestly, and I say this sincerely, this site has been incredibly supportive for me since 2012. I've gotten to know many batches of regular posters. I've laughed, cried & experienced a lot of online life with them. I've become friends with many IRL. So to say that there are more supportive sites out there. My experience says otherwise.

Babycenter is fluffy & they'll tell you what you want to hear to make you feel good. Never mind if it's scientifically accurate...

Baby gaga is full of folks that talk in text speak & swear they felt the sperm meet the egg. No, no thank you please.

These women have shown me strength & respect during their struggles. So, I disagree very strongly that this site is unsupportive. We just don't tolerate inconsiderate posters that don't think of others' feelings before breezing in to crow that their uterus is occupied. :-??

PrimRoseMama · September 2015

Also @ttcours2015 , when I said I hope your stay was short-- it was with the intention that I hope you get your BFP in short order. It absolutely didn't translate to "be quiet & go away".

I apologize if that is how it came across because I actually didn't mean it that way at all. I'm sorry.

noelietrex · September 2015

Can we get a Mean Girls meme up in here please? YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

goldie987 · September 2015

If you read the TOU and the newbie sticky at the top of the board you would realize why people are upset with your "am I pregnant" post, especially given that you've never been here before. Join the WTO or TWW threads every day (depending on which is applicable based on where you are in your cycle) and offer support while getting support from others. If you are KU, congrats, move on to your next board. If not, I hope to see you around, you'll find that people here are actually quite supportive of you give them the chance and don't just fly through with your "I got a BFP" nonsense.

indulgentgypsy · September 2015

@noelietrex best I could do...

lovearoo · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:

PrimRoseMama said:

ttcours2015 said:

I guess I'm too new here to understand all the rude comments.

@ttcours2015 : We get randoms that announce their pregnancy to us on the regular. The reason these "rude comments" are here is because its annoying as all get out to have someone announce their pregnancy when they have not invested in getting to know us. This community is based on mutual contribution. If you don't take time to get to know other posters on a TTC board its rude to trumpet about your positive pregnancy test. In some cases, it can be hurtful to those still trying (for many months or even years).
So yes, you are new, but its really very common sense-- wouldn't you agree? I am more apt to be super excited for a regular poster that has supported me through TTC (whether it be 3 months or 24) than some random that doesn't observe board etiquette. So, being a newbie is awesome in a way-- you get to read and get to know everyone. The down side is that what looks like super rude, catty behavior is actually annoyance at someone behaving in a way that is not appreciated. I hope your stay here is short, but if its not, then you will understand what I'm talking about in a matter of weeks.

My stay here will probably be short as you wish. Because I cannot understand not being happy for anyone who is pregnant!! I'm new to posting but not to the struggle. But I can assure you that I'd be thrilled for any of you that get pregnant. Whether I know you or not. Enjoy your evening and best of luck to you all! I'll find a less judgemental group to get support from.

*****QBF*****

GET OUT.

Eta: stupid quote box

sorarose · September 2015

Wow, still open. @Bumpadmin?

ttcours2015 · September 2015

@PrimRoseMama thank you for the clarification. I did take it as you didn't want me to stay. I do understand the reason behind the rules. I truly do. I'm sorry if I came across wrong. I see that most of you mean well, but the random "get outs" and things really make it feel like a rough board to be on. I'll hang around and probably continue to mostly lurk until I get the hang of things better.

skilouise · September 2015

@ttcours2015

I understand that feeling. I started lurking about 5 weeks ago, during a period where the board was getting slammed with tons of TOU violation posts. There was a lot of snark. My initial impressions were that it seemed harsh, and why couldn't the regs just ignore the posts that violated TOU? After a few weeks though, I realized that it is understandable why people get frustrated by the same exact TOU violation posts Every. Single. Day.

As you get a feel for the board, you'll see that different violations typically get different responses. The repetitive questions about things like Vitex /which BBT to buy/etc get a mix of light snark, instructions to use the search function, and some actual answers.

The "omg my left boob hurts and my right boob itches, am I totes preggly?!?" Posts get more snark, because none of us own magic uterus goggles.

These drive by BFPs get the most snark because they are extremely rude. Even the most oblivious newbie should know that rubbing her BFP in the face of women TTC is mean.

Edit: rubbing, not running. I'm not sure how you would run a BFP in someone's face, but it sounds painful.

PrimRoseMama · September 2015

ttcours2015 said:
@PrimRoseMama thank you for the clarification. I did take it as you didn't want me to stay. I do understand the reason behind the rules. I truly do. I'm sorry if I came across wrong. I see that most of you mean well, but the random "get outs" and things really make it feel like a rough board to be on. I'll hang around and probably continue to mostly lurk until I get the hang of things better.

This board is kittens, dear. Fluffy bowl of kittens.

BumpAdmin · September 2015

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s shift to an unwelcoming tone. Creating threads in direct response to this one will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.

To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.

Want a personalized experience?

blessed

Re: blessed

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards