@CoachBeckyCooper uhhh I think you need to re-read my OP I didn't call you out. you came at me and took offense to my UO. I don't know you or if my OP even applied to you. YOU felt it applies to you and YOU felt that you were being attacked. I was just venting. I work with 99% women and I deal with that shit constantly and it drives me insane. If you don't think the world should stop when your kid is sick then my post doesn't apply to you and has nothing to do with you!
Well, your UO applies to any working parent, so why wouldn't you think people would take offense? Your opinion that having a sick child is never an excuse to be disconnected from work is laughable. And this is not flame free. You will be flamed.
@CoachBeckyCooper I don't understand how a sick kid means you can't speak to anyone outside of your blood line? What's the different between speaking to a cousin and a friend? Why couldn't you handle your responsibilities after visiting hours or when your kid was sleeping? I don't get it.
Pretty sure you called her out here in bold, which she responded to. Her response to your OP seemed like just sharing a different view.
@Lulucooks I didn't read it that way. Maybe I'm just crabby and reading things to be nastier then they were written. But when she called me out I responded . Why she responded to my original post if it didn't apply to her..,, I don't know? She didn't respond to every else's OU?
@chrlyr I don't think it applies to all Working parents? 90% of the women I work with have at least one child and they don't all expect the world to stop when there kid is sick, they handle it and keep it moving. A lot of them feel bad leaving the rest of us short and struggling, and then there's some that think we should be honored to work late in service to their little angel. There's a difference.
I hate people who think the world should stop because there kid is sick. "How dare my boss text me when my kid is sick" come on! You should be happy your place of employment goes on even with the extreme horror and sadness of your child being sick, so when his cold clears you have a job to go back to. I understand when your kid is sick you light candles, hold vigil and never leave there bedside 24/7 but you can text back. You can text back While your peeing unless you put in a catheter to not leave your precious Angels side. Oh and FYI you can use phones in hospitals, it doesn't interfere with the equipment.
Um... what? I don't expect the world to stand still when my kiddos have the flu or a cold, but in the hospital? Yeah. I ignored everyone that wasn't family this summer when my oldest was in the hospital for 2 weeks.
I am going to quite myself for reference. I responded to your original post by saying that I don't expect the world to stop for an illness, but that I focused on my child when he was in the hospital. That I ignored other people when he was in the HOSPITAL.
You asked why I couldn't handle my responsibilities when he was sick. I responded to your ignorance with snark and anger. I'm good with that. You don't know what my responsibilities are. You assumed.
I responded to a post I took issue with on a public forum because I wanted to. I dont really care what you think.
@Lulucooks I didn't read it that way. Maybe I'm just crabby and reading things to be nastier then they were written. But when she called me out I responded . Why she responded to my original post if it didn't apply to her..,, I don't know? She didn't respond to every else's OU?
@chrlyr I don't think it applies to all Working parents? 90% of the women I work with have at least one child and they don't all expect the world to stop when there kid is sick, they handle it and keep it moving. A lot of them feel bad leaving the rest of us short and struggling, and then there's some that think we should be honored to work late in service to their little angel. There's a difference.
Okay, you clearly have no idea what you're talking about, so I'm going to chalk it up to ignorance on your part. When your kid is sick, sometimes you can make it work and keep moving, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. What are you supposed to do with a sick infant that isn't sleeping? A child who is vomiting? They don't wait for you to send that work email. They don't care that you have a deadline.
@chrlyr were not on the same page here at all. I didn't say or mean to imply you have to GO to work when your kid is sick. I understand you can't give them a puke bucket and leave! What I said was some people keep it moving meaning come back to work, jump back in and appreciate everyone else picking up there slack because of their situation. Then Other people come back to work and act like management should be put in front of a firing squad for daring to contact them when there kid is sick. I don't feel like picking up the phone and saying "hey, my kid is sick, I'm elbow deep in vomit. I'll keep you updated if I can make it in ill try" Is that so unreasonable?!?! Really?! You know it's not!
I hate people who think the world should stop because there kid is sick. "How dare my boss text me when my kid is sick" come on! You should be happy your place of employment goes on even with the extreme horror and sadness of your child being sick, so when his cold clears you have a job to go back to. I understand when your kid is sick you light candles, hold vigil and never leave there bedside 24/7 but you can text back. You can text back While your peeing unless you put in a catheter to not leave your precious Angels side. Oh and FYI you can use phones in hospitals, it doesn't interfere with the equipment.
Um... what? I don't expect the world to stand still when my kiddos have the flu or a cold, but in the hospital? Yeah. I ignored everyone that wasn't family this summer when my oldest was in the hospital for 2 weeks.
If my child is sick, unfortunately, other things in my life will have to be put on hold (so if they have a cold/flu, yes, me or DH will need to take a day(s) off, that's our responsibility as parents. I don't expect my boss' life to be put on hold as a result, but me not coming to work for several days will have an impact. Yes, text/call your boss to let them know you aren't making it in, but I think saying that you should still to be able to talk to people outside your "bloodline" is a little excessive. If my kid is puking, I don't think I want to be talking to my bff.
I think it's all about priorities and ability for those priorities to shift and adjust daily. I don't think it's likely that if a child is sick that a parent really feels the need to disconnect and take care of that child 100% dedicated until their child feels better.
Receiving a phone call is not uncalled for, but for a boss or coworkers to expect that person to come back half way through the day is ludicrous. If you have a caretaker, they will not take a child back until it's been proven that child is no longer ill.
@Lulucooks I didn't read it that way. Maybe I'm just crabby and reading things to be nastier then they were written. But when she called me out I responded . Why she responded to my original post if it didn't apply to her..,, I don't know? She didn't respond to every else's OU?
@chrlyr I don't think it applies to all Working parents? 90% of the women I work with have at least one child and they don't all expect the world to stop when there kid is sick, they handle it and keep it moving. A lot of them feel bad leaving the rest of us short and struggling, and then there's some that think we should be honored to work late in service to their little angel. There's a difference.
She didn't call you out on your original post, she gave a different (her own) perspective. That's kinda what the UO is for, to see different perspectives on certain topics. She offered you her view based solely on you OP, you then came back and said, paraphrasing, that it was irresponsible to not take care of other obligations while her child was sick. I understand you likely did not know the extent of her child's illness, but your response to it was a bit over the top.
ETA, anyone can respond to anything they want on a public forum.
I responded to your HOSPITAL comment. Have a kid in the hospital. Have a kid in the f'ING pediatric ICU and THEN tell me you have the time or energy to call work and catch up on shit. It was the hospital part. And I offered perspective as a PARENT before you called me out.
I hate people who think the world should stop because there kid is sick. "How dare my boss text me when my kid is sick" come on! You should be happy your place of employment goes on even with the extreme horror and sadness of your child being sick, so when his cold clears you have a job to go back to. I understand when your kid is sick you light candles, hold vigil and never leave there bedside 24/7 but you can text back. You can text back While your peeing unless you put in a catheter to not leave your precious Angels side. Oh and FYI you can use phones in hospitals, it doesn't interfere with the equipment.
Um, what? Often reception really stinks in hospitals. Want to know how I know? My kid was hospitalized last month with an autoimmune vasculitis (HSP). Her esophagus & stomach hurt so bad she couldn't drink water. We got IV treatment etc. I couldn't maintain signal or make calls unless I went outside.
I'm not a working mother, but sometimes work has to take a back seat. The work place will not destruct if a couple of text messages are missed.
You sound very out of touch & unsympathetic here. It's seriously uncomfortable to hear you say you HATE (such a strong word) a working mother whose kid is sick enough to be admitted to the hospital. C'mon now. x_x
Yeah, in some situations it's not reasonable to expect that someone can just deal and soldier on for the sake of their coworkers. As was mentioned, many caregivers simply don't accept sick children. Unless you can find someone else to take them, you're stuck with them. You do what you can, but sometimes you can't devote significant amounts of time to work. It depends on the illness and the kid. I don't know if OP is a parent. I'm guessing not. These vast generalizations about what people should be able to do with a sick child are ridiculous.
@CoachBeckyCooper I don't understand how a sick kid means you can't speak to anyone outside of your blood line? What's the different between speaking to a cousin and a friend? Why couldn't you handle your responsibilities after visiting hours or when your kid was sleeping? I don't get it.
Do you have kids yet? I'm sorry but no, you don't get it.
Okay here is the truth. I did not know what UO stood for. I started reading this thread and someone said it stood for "unpopular opinion" if that is not what it stands for I'm going to be super embarrassed and never post again. So that's why I posted my VERY UNPOPULAR opinion (a day late because I'm too dumb to realize that it was only for Thursday). So I thought we were venting things that most other people would not agree with!! So if I posted "puppies are cute." Then that would be a POPULAR opinion and therefor would not belong on this thread? Am I correct? Or totally wrong?
Right... And people are voicing different opinions. There is no rule against responding to a UO with your own viewpoint, nor is there any guarantee that you won't be flamed for your UO.
Also, try not to be so obvious in your attempt to dodge the question of whether you have children.
Edited because guaranty and guarantee are not the same.
Okay here is the truth. I did not know what UO stood for. I started reading this thread and someone said it stood for "unpopular opinion" if that is not what it stands for I'm going to be super embarrassed and never post again. So that's why I posted my VERY UNPOPULAR opinion (a day late because I'm too dumb to realize that it was only for Thursday). So I thought we were venting things that most other people would not agree with!! So if I posted "puppies are cute." Then that would be a POPULAR opinion and therefor would not belong on this thread? Am I correct? Or totally wrong?
Unpopular opinions are not without discussion. Just like FFFC is not actually flame free. It's just a term. You are welcome to your opinion, just as everyone else is welcome to comment on it.
I'm sorry this makes me upset. My husband took time off to hold my daughter while she cried pitifully in the hospital because she couldn't move without pain & her joints were swollen so badly it looked like she had been steam rolled. She wanted Daddy & so he dropped everything for her.
The consternation of his coworkers didn't even matter & in situations like this-- it's really messed up to expect your feelings to matter more than a family in crisis. Do you hear yourself? I can't believe what you are saying!
He absolutely was not expected to check in with work other than to say he was taking a personal day. That man has picked up slack for all kinds of coworkers' emergencies. Most work places have a system in place to cope.
It is entirely unreasonable to expect a parent to answer texts/emails etc while their kid is laying in a hospital bed. Often the kid is beside themselves or so frighteningly out of it that the last thing on anyone's mind is a deadline at work or a a TPS report, FFS.
Also, the language you are using to describe the poor kid in the hospital is both disrespectful, condescending & just plain mean. That baby in the bed is someone's angel and precious for sure & it's really messed up to make light of that or express disdain for how that parent is feeling about the health/life of their child.
Rather than be concerned about the coworker's kid (which any compassionate person would be) you are more concerned about extra work? What about when another coworker's spouse or relative dies? Do you hate those people or just the ones with kids?
Because when I had to take my father off life support in October 2013, my husband dropped everything then too. He looked after my 20 month old & my newborn for two weeks while I was in the hospital in my own personal hell.
I would hate to think his coworkers hated him or held anything against him for something beyond his control. He also just took paternity leave for four weeks. Babies, dying relatives etc. they don't exactly pencil themselves into your icalendar or whatnot.
Heaven forbid (and I mean this sincerely) that you ever have a family emergency & you need to focus on your family for a week. Seriously, I think you need a reality check.
Not only is your opinion extremely unpopular, but it's also severely lacking in compassion for your fellow man.
OP must be very busy and important. Dealing with those irresponsible employees who dare to shirk their responsibilities to care for an ill child is an inconvenience that someone of her stature shouldn't have to suffer. Just fire them all. They're clearly not dedicated to their jobs.
@chrlyr if you read the rules you will see that your supposed to lurk and search and answer your own questions and not ask questions that have already been answered. I'm new here but I'm 99% sure that's like rule #1. PS- karma just kicked me in the teeth and my dog just got diarrhea, shit in my bed, all over herself and has insane gas. I guess you all win this round. I will keep my unpopular opinions to myself regardless of the title of the thread.
@chrlyr if you read the rules you will see that your supposed to lurk and search and answer your own questions and not ask questions that have already been answered. I'm new here but I'm 99% sure that's like rule #1. PS- karma just kicked me in the teeth and my dog just got diarrhea, shit in my bed, all over herself and has insane gas. I guess you all win this round. I will keep my unpopular opinions to myself regardless of the title of the thread.
Not trying to win anything at all. Would prefer not to have another round, didn't even think this was a round.... thought it was a grown up discussion...
Okay here is the truth. I did not know what UO stood for. I started reading this thread and someone said it stood for "unpopular opinion" if that is not what it stands for I'm going to be super embarrassed and never post again. So that's why I posted my VERY UNPOPULAR opinion (a day late because I'm too dumb to realize that it was only for Thursday). So I thought we were venting things that most other people would not agree with!! So if I posted "puppies are cute." Then that would be a POPULAR opinion and therefor would not belong on this thread? Am I correct? Or totally wrong?
Dude, check it: there is unpopular (I hate cheese or dislike folks that can't park well) and then there is messed up stuff you should keep to yourself. UO does not mean say stuff that is morally reprehensible without consequences. You can state an opinion, but if that opinion is hurtful or offensive- you take your lumps for it. Opinion does not equal immunity from flaming.
Saying you HATE parents that have kids that are sick enough to be hospitalized (because that means more workload for you) is one of those opinions that you will get push back for.
You are correct-- it's for unpopular things-- but not completely messed up things.
@chrlyr if you read the rules you will see that your supposed to lurk and search and answer your own questions and not ask questions that have already been answered. I'm new here but I'm 99% sure that's like rule #1.
PS- karma just kicked me in the teeth and my dog just got diarrhea, shit in my bed, all over herself and has insane gas. I guess you all win this round. I will keep my unpopular opinions to myself regardless of the title of the thread.
Me: 35 - DH: 34
Married: 08/2009
BFP #1: 11/2010 - DS born 07/2011
TTC #2: 02/2014 RE Dx-Unexplained IF: 06/2015
BFP #2: 08/12/15 - MC 08/27/15 BFP #3: 03/11/16 - CP BFP #4: 04/09/16 - DD born 12/2016
She does not. I assume the lurking comment to PP means we are supposed to lurk and find out, even though that's not what we mean by lurking. She is an ER RN though, so I'd figure she would have been a bit more sensitive to sick children in the hospital.
@Jennifer0428 There are only so many hours in a day and things need to be prioritized. You may find when your child is throwing up (on you, no less) and you're worried about him/her being dehydrated that you actually just don't think about work and the people who won't be there for you when you're old and gray. I sincerely hope that if you decide to be a working parent, you are met with more empathy than you seem willing to offer.
Personal lives should be balanced with work, whether that means kids, school, family or anything. Do you expect your coworker on her honeymoon to drop everything if you have a work question? Someone with a sick or dying parent? What about someone whose spouse was in a car accident? Where do you draw the line in who deserves some understanding, sympathy and support?
Also, there is a difference between "your" and "you're." Not to mention "there," "their," and "they're." Just saying.
Sick people-- like these kids. Keep RN's & doctors employed. That's how Jennifer butters her bread so she can start a family, yeah?
What about their families, parents, family members that are employed & need to come see their family member? Are their coworkers supposed to hate them too?
I am just unclear as to who is deserving of sympathy here.
Sick people-- like these kids. Keep RN's & doctors employed. That's how Jennifer butters her bread so she can start a family, yeah?
What about their families, parents, family members that are employed & need to come see their family member? Are their coworkers supposed to hate them too?
I am just unclear as to who is deserving of sympathy here.
Well clearly Jennifer can't remember being a child and wanting someone with her 24/7. Even when I had the flu I wanted my dad home every minute. I couldn't imagine being in the hospital, being scared as a child would be, and having a parent/caregiver say "bye gotta work" if they had the choice. Yikes.
Re: UO Thursday
@chrlyr I don't think it applies to all
Working parents? 90% of the women I work with have at least one child and they don't all expect the world to stop when there kid is sick, they handle it and keep it moving. A lot of them feel bad leaving the rest of us short and struggling, and then there's some that think we should be honored to work late in service to their little angel. There's a difference.
I am going to quite myself for reference. I responded to your original post by saying that I don't expect the world to stop for an illness, but that I focused on my child when he was in the hospital. That I ignored other people when he was in the HOSPITAL.
You asked why I couldn't handle my responsibilities when he was sick. I responded to your ignorance with snark and anger. I'm good with that. You don't know what my responsibilities are. You assumed.
I responded to a post I took issue with on a public forum because I wanted to. I dont really care what you think.
@CoachBeckyCooper
Why did you respond to my original post like it was for you? I didn't tag you? Or quote you?
I think it's all about priorities and ability for those priorities to shift and adjust daily. I don't think it's likely that if a child is sick that a parent really feels the need to disconnect and take care of that child 100% dedicated until their child feels better.
Receiving a phone call is not uncalled for, but for a boss or coworkers to expect that person to come back half way through the day is ludicrous. If you have a caretaker, they will not take a child back until it's been proven that child is no longer ill.
Formerly: FtrMrsO
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: Oct. 2007
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP#1 3/19/16 MC 3/28/16
BFP #2 5/26/16 EDD 1/31/17
Furthermore:
Formerly: FtrMrsO
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: Oct. 2007
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP#1 3/19/16 MC 3/28/16
BFP #2 5/26/16 EDD 1/31/17
ETA, anyone can respond to anything they want on a public forum.
#meangirls #dfdubclub
I'm not a working mother, but sometimes work has to take a back seat. The work place will not destruct if a couple of text messages are missed.
You sound very out of touch & unsympathetic here. It's seriously uncomfortable to hear you say you HATE (such a strong word) a working mother whose kid is sick enough to be admitted to the hospital. C'mon now. x_x
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Also, try not to be so obvious in your attempt to dodge the question of whether you have children.
Edited because guaranty and guarantee are not the same.
I'm sorry this makes me upset. My husband took time off to hold my daughter while she cried pitifully in the hospital because she couldn't move without pain & her joints were swollen so badly it looked like she had been steam rolled. She wanted Daddy & so he dropped everything for her.
The consternation of his coworkers didn't even matter & in situations like this-- it's really messed up to expect your feelings to matter more than a family in crisis. Do you hear yourself? I can't believe what you are saying!
He absolutely was not expected to check in with work other than to say he was taking a personal day. That man has picked up slack for all kinds of coworkers' emergencies. Most work places have a system in place to cope.
It is entirely unreasonable to expect a parent to answer texts/emails etc while their kid is laying in a hospital bed. Often the kid is beside themselves or so frighteningly out of it that the last thing on anyone's mind is a deadline at work or a a TPS report, FFS.
Also, the language you are using to describe the poor kid in the hospital is both disrespectful, condescending & just plain mean. That baby in the bed is someone's angel and precious for sure & it's really messed up to make light of that or express disdain for how that parent is feeling about the health/life of their child.
Rather than be concerned about the coworker's kid (which any compassionate person would be) you are more concerned about extra work? What about when another coworker's spouse or relative dies? Do you hate those people or just the ones with kids?
Because when I had to take my father off life support in October 2013, my husband dropped everything then too. He looked after my 20 month old & my newborn for two weeks while I was in the hospital in my own personal hell.
I would hate to think his coworkers hated him or held anything against him for something beyond his control. He also just took paternity leave for four weeks. Babies, dying relatives etc. they don't exactly pencil themselves into your icalendar or whatnot.
Heaven forbid (and I mean this sincerely) that you ever have a family emergency & you need to focus on your family for a week. Seriously, I think you need a reality check.
Not only is your opinion extremely unpopular, but it's also severely lacking in compassion for your fellow man.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
PS- karma just kicked me in the teeth and my dog just got diarrhea, shit in my bed, all over herself and has insane gas. I guess you all win this round. I will keep my unpopular opinions to myself regardless of the title of the thread.
Saying you HATE parents that have kids that are sick enough to be hospitalized (because that means more workload for you) is one of those opinions that you will get push back for.
You are correct-- it's for unpopular things-- but not completely messed up things.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
RE Dx-Unexplained IF: 06/2015
BFP #3: 03/11/16 - CP
BFP #4: 04/09/16 - DD born 12/2016
Dude. Her dog crapped everyywhere, how can you expect her to---I don't know, stop CARING for her beloved pet and answer you?
See what I did there?
Formerly: FtrMrsO
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: Oct. 2007
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP#1 3/19/16 MC 3/28/16
BFP #2 5/26/16 EDD 1/31/17
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Personal lives should be balanced with work, whether that means kids, school, family or anything. Do you expect your coworker on her honeymoon to drop everything if you have a work question? Someone with a sick or dying parent? What about someone whose spouse was in a car accident? Where do you draw the line in who deserves some understanding, sympathy and support?
Also, there is a difference between "your" and "you're." Not to mention "there," "their," and "they're." Just saying.
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Formerly: FtrMrsO
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: Oct. 2007
TTC #1: June 2015
BFP#1 3/19/16 MC 3/28/16
BFP #2 5/26/16 EDD 1/31/17
Now I'm all
Married Sept '13
TTC Dec '13
BFP 10/8/2014 MMC 11/20/2014 D&C 11/26/14
BFP 9/20/2015 MMC 10/7/2015 D&C 10/15/15
eta: gif fail
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Sick people-- like these kids. Keep RN's & doctors employed. That's how Jennifer butters her bread so she can start a family, yeah?
What about their families, parents, family members that are employed & need to come see their family member? Are their coworkers supposed to hate them too?
I am just unclear as to who is deserving of sympathy here.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards: