DH is now unemployed. The company he has been working for ran out of money. I'm actually pretty excited about this in a weird sort of way. DH has been stressed about work for at least four months now. His attitude sucks a lot of the time and he has been loosing his cool with our DS, which breaks my heart. It's not always what he says to him, but the impatient tone he is using. I know this is because he isn't happy overall, but work is a huge part of it. Fingers crossed he will be able to find something he loves and that is somewhat local. Until then I'm happy to have the extra help around the house, work on the honey do list, spend some time in the mountains, and maybe even another camping trip or two.
I do wish DH would show an interest in cooking with me. I secretly envy those couples who cook together. I get lonely in the kitchen.
If you ever need a taste tester, Kansas isn't that far away.
I lucked out - DH worked as a sous chef through college and is a better cook than me. But he doesn't like me in the way. So when we gutted our current house, we made the kitchen big enough for 2 adults. Or I sit across the snack bar and drink while he cooks. I miss those nights. He also fixes cars, gardens, and can play the organ. I married a Renaissance Man.
I do love cooking with DS. Even though he's not quite 3, he loves to help measure, mix, and count. It's one of my favorite activities with him. But I might like watching DH cook with DS even more!
I do wish DH would show an interest in cooking with me. I secretly envy those couples who cook together. I get lonely in the kitchen.
If you ever need a taste tester, Kansas isn't that far away.
I lucked out - DH worked as a sous chef through college and is a better cook than me. But he doesn't like me in the way. So when we gutted our current house, we made the kitchen big enough for 2 adults. Or I sit across the snack bar and drink while he cooks. I miss those nights. He also fixes cars, gardens, and can play the organ. I married a Renaissance Man.
I do love cooking with DS. Even though he's not quite 3, he loves to help measure, mix, and count. It's one of my favorite activities with him. But I might like watching DH cook with DS even more!
^^this is so sweet!!!
Oh I love watching LO "fixing cars" with his dad. So cute. Until the dreaded three yo potty mouth repeat, "fuck this shit! This truck is pissing me off!"
DS and I cook and bake together. He loves cracking the eggs, measuring dry ingredients, dumping everything into the bowl, and (kinda) mixing it all up. It's usually messy, but I love teaching him. He even told his teacher the other day that he wants to be a muffin maker when he grows up. Warmed my heart. ❤️
I'm really excited for DH to have a buddy to teach stuff to. He's also a renaissance man - he can play guitar, replace brakes on our car, fix a computer and do woodworking. I also get bored by most of his hobbies so I can't wait for LO to give him her rapt attention
Total Rave: I went back to work this week and we had decided that we were going to send LO to daycare 1 day early so I could practice getting up, getting ready, and putting on clothes that weren't yoga pants. So DH, completly on his own, scheduled a spa day for me while LO was at day care (massage, facial, nails, etc) so I could have 1 last day of fun before work. He's the best!
So far, so good at work, but they do really need to invent work professional yoga pants
Rant - homie takes the last Pepsi out of the fridge last night and doesn't bother to put more cans in. So this morning when I go to get my morning caffeine fix... Nothing. [-(
@mellymar Not cool. We're coffee drinkers and making only a 4 cup pot is almost a divorceable offense.
My rant: Why does it take so long for DH to wake up? He's offered to help at night, but I'm already down the hall before he starts to stir. I told him this morning if we ever decide we need a gun for protection, it goes on my side of the bed. I'd be awake, assess the situation, aim, fire an entire clip and get to the kids before he could sit up and try to turn off his alarm in confusion.
The last time the fire alarm went off, DS and DH slept through it and I realized if we ever have a fire, I am solely responsible for getting all of the people and pets out of the house.
Rant. I shopped for family pic clothes, packed our entire family and got all bm ready and gear, and put gas in the car for our 5 hr roadtrip we are on right now to visit my parents/sister and homeboy can't even wipe down the inside of the car....... One thing?!?! He's a toddler I'm packing for...... Ugh Worse than the baby.
*^^^^ I did all this on 3 hrs of sleep after night shift. He has the nerve to say to me " it's not a competition who gets less sleep and gets more stuff done" mmmmm your right it's not.... That's not my point at all. My point is HELP me out dude. This guy is amazing at taking the baby off my hands when he's home but I need other things!
^^^ Right. This is similar to just the common courtesy of not leaving a mess, or refilling the damned soda! Dude, you've just spent 2 days with us at home and now know that LO requires almost constant attention now that he only naps maybe 20 minutes every 4 hours. So you leave me a kitchen full of dishes, 2 hampers full of clean laundry, a pile of folded (not folded the 'right' way, either) laundry on the chair... You couldn't put the clothes away? I have to try and do it in between entertaining and feeding this kid? Or after he goes to bed, thereby sacrificing MY sleep? So now I have to deal with random hampers of laundry around the house and the pile on the chair until Monday, or somehow convince my 3m old to let me ignore him for a while so I can put away all DHs clothes. And empty the dishwasher and load it again. And, hopefully have a pepsi
DH took yesterday off and it was his first full day alone with LO. When I got home he had done several loads of laundry and washed bottles. The laundry was all piled on the bed, but he did put it away when I got home. I got tickled because he was telling me all the things he did. I was like, yup, now you know how days where on leave. I think he finally understands how much I do. They did have a really good day, though!
So my LO had been refusing bottles and pacifiers for weeks now. So DH is pretty much refusing to let me leave LO at home with him now. I keep telling him that I can't keep doing back to back to back 24 hour shifts (and back...) with a baby. I feel like it has been 15 weeks without a true break. I have yet to get a chance to go do something just for me. I have a couple times gone grocery shopping or run an errand or two without baby but every time I go I have DH texting and calling me asking when I will be home. I'm sure it's hard when LO is hungry but won't eat but I keep telling him that he needs to try a bottle every day then and hope that he will take it. I'm glad my little boy loves me and drinking straight from the tap because that is a special bond, but momma needs a break! I feel like I have to beg for a shower that's longer than five minutes. As a second note, DH is still not putting together tired mommy= no sex, but still wants to ask for it! I told him the other night that he needs to work a little harder for it.
Dh's heart was in the right place and bought me theater tickets to see Wicked for our anniversary. Too bad, he only heard half of what I said and I had already bought a ticket to see it with a friend of mine. I know I shouldn't have been agitated but the tickets were 80 a pop. This best be a darn good musical cause I am going twice in two weeks.
@mellymar Not cool. We're coffee drinkers and making only a 4 cup pot is almost a divorceable offense.
The first two or three years that DH and I lived together we only had a 4 cup coffee maker like the type in hotel rooms. We fought bitterly over taking too much coffee from the first brew. Relationship vastly improved when MIL bought us 10 cup maker.
Rant: DH and his family don't use proper grammar and it drives me nuts. They constantly use the word "ain't", which drives me nuts (sorry!), and say things like "It don't matter" or "I don't want no pizza"....Ugh...it DOESN'T matter, and I don't want ANY pizza!!! I've gotten to the point where I correct my husband, which I know is bad...but I fear that LO is going to grow up thinking that it's grammatically correct, and the teacher in me can't stand that. I know that my grammar isn't perfect, but the major things like that drive me absolutely crazy.
Rave: When I came downstairs tonight after putting LO to bed, DH had a beer and a bowl of ice cream waiting for me on the couch. He knows the way to my heart. Grammar aside, he really is a great guy...
@kristenk727 my MIL constantly talks about how much LO has "growed". It makes me cringe every time. I really worry LO will pick up the habit. DH also had a speech issue and couldn't pronounce his rs as a child and they think it's cute. I understand that happens, but don't encourage it
@KarasTwin I agree!!! My MIL says growed too. Drives me bonkers! It also frustrates me when she calls my son her "tweetest wittewl bubby" (I don't really know how to spell that btw!)
DH is in the dog house for having road rage with the kids in the car. He's still justifying it hours later. To me it's pretty cut and dry. You don't drive like an ass with your family in the car. (You shouldn't drive that way period.) I won't tolerate it so I will be driving us everywhere from now on until he can get his anger under control. I get that he is feeling stressed right now, but have some fucking judgement man!? He's not in the mood to talk, so I told him to just think about what's eating him and we'll circle back to the conversation later. ~X(
Dh's heart was in the right place and bought me theater tickets to see Wicked for our anniversary. Too bad, he only heard half of what I said and I had already bought a ticket to see it with a friend of mine. I know I shouldn't have been agitated but the tickets were 80 a pop. This best be a darn good musical cause I am going twice in two weeks.
Ah that would definitely bother me but rest assured wicked is AWESOME. I actually saw it twice in one week once. Granted, I'm a huge loser BUT it is a really good show
DH is in the dog house for having road rage with the kids in the car. He's still justifying it hours later. To me it's pretty cut and dry. You don't drive like an ass with your family in the car. (You shouldn't drive that way period.) I won't tolerate it so I will be driving us everywhere from now on until he can get his anger under control. I get that he is feeling stressed right now, but have some fucking judgement man!? He's not in the mood to talk, so I told him to just think about what's eating him and we'll circle back to the conversation later. ~X(
Oo, scary. Hopefully some time and space will bring him around.
My DH was doing this (riding people's a$$ and using the horn way too much). I told him about a time I was driving with LO when I did that, and how went from chill to screaming from hearing the horn and me, angry. I said LO is super sensitive to mood, and I think part of the reason he hates the car is because we are always tense drivers. (All this was about half true, but a good way to discuss road rage neutrally.)
My DH stopped driving like a jerk. Baby still hates the car, but we are all a little less tense.
Anyway, hopefully yours comes around. Good for you for taking the wheel.
Well, we knew it was inevitable. LO rolled off the changing table. Fortunately, a) he's fine, b) it happened to DH and not me, and c) I was not in the apartment when it happened.
LO is totally fine! So I am grateful for that and that DH got this out of the way for us. Now we won't ever forget to keep a hand on him again, and we can avoid real disaster.
ETA: I am not as blasé about this as I may be coming across. But we know bad things are going to happen to our little boy, and so we are working hard to keep our reactions and panic into check - and not blame each other or lay on the guilt. It was all I could do not to yell at DH and take the baby, but I'm really grateful we used humor instead. Because neither reaction changes the outcome.
DH is in the dog house for having road rage with the kids in the car. He's still justifying it hours later. To me it's pretty cut and dry. You don't drive like an ass with your family in the car. (You shouldn't drive that way period.) I won't tolerate it so I will be driving us everywhere from now on until he can get his anger under control. I get that he is feeling stressed right now, but have some fucking judgement man!? He's not in the mood to talk, so I told him to just think about what's eating him and we'll circle back to the conversation later. ~X(
Oo, scary. Hopefully some time and space will bring him around.
My DH was doing this (riding people's a$$ and using the horn way too much). I told him about a time I was driving with LO when I did that, and how went from chill to screaming from hearing the horn and me, angry. I said LO is super sensitive to mood, and I think part of the reason he hates the car is because we are always tense drivers. (All this was about half true, but a good way to discuss road rage neutrally.)
My DH stopped driving like a jerk. Baby still hates the car, but we are all a little less tense.
Anyway, hopefully yours comes around. Good for you for taking the wheel.
That's basically what happened. LO had been crying for at least five minutes in the car to set the mood. There's a point in the road where two lanes turn into one through lane and the other lane becomes a turn lane. This guy waits until the last minute to merge in. Annoying, yes, but not worthy of totally loosing your shit. The horn was honked, obscenities screamed, hands thrown in the air and moderate tailgating. Then when it turns back into two lanes, he whips around him shooting him a glare as we fly past. It's not the worst case of RR I've seen out of him, but that's not the point. Like you said, it created tension in the car and DS loves to mimic what we do including the profanity so it was a horrible example being set for him. Plus you never know what the other driver will do! Hopefully we will find reason today.
Well, we knew it was inevitable. LO rolled off the changing table. Fortunately, a) he's fine, b) it happened to DH and not me, and c) I was not in the apartment when it happened.
LO is totally fine! So I am grateful for that and that DH got this out of the way for us. Now we won't ever forget to keep a hand on him again, and we can avoid real disaster.
ETA: I am not as blasé about this as I may be coming across. But we know bad things are going to happen to our little boy, and so we are working hard to keep our reactions and panic into check - and not blame each other or lay on the guilt. It was all I could do not to yell at DH and take the baby, but I'm really grateful we used humor instead. Because neither reaction changes the outcome.
I remember the first time DS fell off the bed. He was ok and part of me was relieved it happened on DH's watch first. Don't worry, I did it later but I wasn't the first. They move fast and their heads are so big, they always fall face first.
Since I'm the kind who normally posts rants I have a big rave for DH-
We went to a good friend of mines wedding Friday night. I left work early (boss wouldn't give me the day off), got home and got everyone dressed and in the car and we drove an hour and a half to the wedding. We had decided we weren't going to spend the night there to save money so I knew we were going to have another hour and a half drive back so I was kinda stressed about the whole night. DH really stepped up with taking care of LO. He normally doesn't really take care of him too much unless he's asked to but at the wedding he proactively took care of him. It started at dinner where he took LO and ate while holding him so I could eat and chat to my friend next to me. Then when the dancing started he took care of LO and DD so I could dance with my friends. He also changed his diaper and just basically took care of the kids so I could relax and enjoy he night. Since we've gotten home he's been more interactive with LO and actually helping me take care of him without me asking. I'm glad that he finally took the initiave to interact with the kids more, especially LO. Today he rocked a crying LO so I could eat a warm dinner. He's stepping up and I love it! :x
My DH has plenty of rant/rave moments but does anyone else come here to read these & be reminded to be thankful for your DH? Or just me? Does that come across as awful? I really don't mean it to, but I always feel thankful for the little things I don't notice after catching up on this thread.
I read these for the same reason @krystleshel. I don't think it's awful. It helps me cool off when my dh has done something super annoying or frustrating.
DH is great, but I'm starting an official research project on how men can wake when we very lightly snuggle "up" on him in the middle of the night and he wakes like he just took down 10 energy drinks (ready to get some "love") But when baby stirs on the monitor he grunts and turns away and says he "never heard it" the next day. Hmmmm
@HayesRN13 Excellent research project. This is an occasional phenomenon in our house.
@krystleshel@TheEA I also read these for the same reason! I skip this thread often, but find myself gravitating toward it when I'm irritated with DH. Usually by the time I catch up on the thread again I am thinking about how trivial the thing was that I was irritated with. DH has been more wonderful with LO than I imagined possible and it's not going to do us any good to knit pick one another.
Also would like to add that I'm not criticizing any rants! I think it's great to have a place like this to get our thoughts out and get support.
DH is great, but I'm starting an official research project on how men can wake when we very lightly snuggle "up" on him in the middle of the night and he wakes like he just took down 10 energy drinks (ready to get some "love") But when baby stirs on the monitor he grunts and turns away and says he "never heard it" the next day. Hmmmm
This morning DH shot me down opting for an hour more sleep instead! Whaaaaaaaat! Doesn't stir for the monitor and turns down the lovin'! This man!!!!
Rave: DH took DS to the ER last night because his croup was so bad. They kept him overnight to observe him because his breathing was so labored. Usually we do this kinda stuff together, but I opted to keep LO home to try and keep her well. So he is there now handling all the hard stuff with DS. Love him. ❤️
In my hubby's culture women can't cook chicken if they have their period. They apparently don't know what appropriate dinner conversation is also haha
Tonight we had a family dinner, a chicken dish I made turns out the chicken didn't cook fully (I don't believe this myth but I'm dumbfounded it wasn't fully cooked) so my husband tells my poor uncle and cousin (male) it must be because I got my period yesterday and it's a big one because it's the first post baby.
If the raw chicken doesn't kill them the shock on their faces might. I did explain to him in aus men generally aren't too comfortable talking about periods to which he replied "well that's stupid it's no different to snot" maybe darling, maybe but please don't give my uncle a heart attack
When people ask us how old LO is, I always say "three months" right as DH is saying "16 and a half weeks."
Me: Sweetie, people don't know what that means. Just say 3 months. Or three and a half months, if you want to get specific. DH: But that's not how it works with babies. Me: I know, but think about before we had a kid. We had no idea what these weeks meant. DH: Fine. But he's 16 and a half weeks, and he's a lot different than when he was 15 weeks. Does he have to be 3 months for the whole month?!
Haha, @virginiaunicorn11. At least your DH knows. Mine keeps getting confused about that kind of stuff. At like 2.5 months he was telling people that LO doubled his birthweight, ummm no, not quite
So my DH was trying to be really nice today and do a bunch of stuff for me around the house and I was a total B to him about it because I wanted him to entertain LO so I could eat. I handled the whole thing horribly but he was really nice about it and when he left for work said "we're good! I love you" like it was no big deal that I was being really mean about stupid stuff. I just really wanted to eat one meal today without a baby in my lap or downing my food while baby screams or standing up while bouncing a baby so he doesn't wake up and start screaming. It's just hard when DH is gone all afternoon and evening and then sleeps half the morning away. And I have just been feeling stressed at home lately which is why I'm sure he was trying to help me out, it was just not meeting my first need first. I guess this is a rave within a rant? I honestly don't even know if I am mad or happy with him right now...
Rave - DH Watched LO last night so that I could enjoy getting back to some of my old hobbies stargazing and photography. I had an excellent time just being on my own taking pictures of the lunar eclipse. Bonus though it was mostly beautiful solitude along the lake shore some other adults happened upon my spot and I had decent adult conversation that didn't revolve around babies, poop or boobs!
I came home worried that two hours may have been a bit too long to be away. DH had fed LO and entertained him until he was ready to be put in the crib and made a successful transfer. No crying or fussing or other issues.
I often am frustrated with his lack of help due to a crazy work schedule but this was a major win on his part!
Re: DH / SO rants or raves - Month of September
I lucked out - DH worked as a sous chef through college and is a better cook than me. But he doesn't like me in the way. So when we gutted our current house, we made the kitchen big enough for 2 adults. Or I sit across the snack bar and drink while he cooks.
I do love cooking with DS. Even though he's not quite 3, he loves to help measure, mix, and count. It's one of my favorite activities with him. But I might like watching DH cook with DS even more!
Oh I love watching LO "fixing cars" with his dad. So cute. Until the dreaded three yo potty mouth repeat, "fuck this shit! This truck is pissing me off!"
DS and I cook and bake together. He loves cracking the eggs, measuring dry ingredients, dumping everything into the bowl, and (kinda) mixing it all up. It's usually messy, but I love teaching him. He even told his teacher the other day that he wants to be a muffin maker when he grows up. Warmed my heart. ❤️
https://www.betabrand.com/collections/dress-pant-yoga-pants-collection/womens-black-boot-flare-dress-pant-yoga-pants.html
Fiancé: "what are you staring at?"
Me: "he's moving"
Fiancé: "yeah. He's a human being."
My rant: Why does it take so long for DH to wake up? He's offered to help at night, but I'm already down the hall before he starts to stir. I told him this morning if we ever decide we need a gun for protection, it goes on my side of the bed. I'd be awake, assess the situation, aim, fire an entire clip and get to the kids before he could sit up and try to turn off his alarm in confusion.
The last time the fire alarm went off, DS and DH slept through it and I realized if we ever have a fire, I am solely responsible for getting all of the people and pets out of the house.
Worse than the baby.
This guy is amazing at taking the baby off my hands when he's home but I need other things!
So now I have to deal with random hampers of laundry around the house and the pile on the chair until Monday, or somehow convince my 3m old to let me ignore him for a while so I can put away all DHs clothes. And empty the dishwasher and load it again. And, hopefully have a pepsi
DH took yesterday off and it was his first full day alone with LO. When I got home he had done several loads of laundry and washed bottles. The laundry was all piled on the bed, but he did put it away when I got home. I got tickled because he was telling me all the things he did. I was like, yup, now you know how days where on leave. I think he finally understands how much I do. They did have a really good day, though!
As a second note, DH is still not putting together tired mommy= no sex, but still wants to ask for it! I told him the other night that he needs to work a little harder for it.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
Ah that would definitely bother me but rest assured wicked is AWESOME. I actually saw it twice in one week once. Granted, I'm a huge loser BUT it is a really good show
My DH was doing this (riding people's a$$ and using the horn way too much). I told him about a time I was driving with LO when I did that, and how went from chill to screaming from hearing the horn and me, angry. I said LO is super sensitive to mood, and I think part of the reason he hates the car is because we are always tense drivers. (All this was about half true, but a good way to discuss road rage neutrally.)
My DH stopped driving like a jerk. Baby still hates the car, but we are all a little less tense.
Anyway, hopefully yours comes around. Good for you for taking the wheel.
LO is totally fine! So I am grateful for that and that DH got this out of the way for us. Now we won't ever forget to keep a hand on him again, and we can avoid real disaster.
ETA: I am not as blasé about this as I may be coming across. But we know bad things are going to happen to our little boy, and so we are working hard to keep our reactions and panic into check - and not blame each other or lay on the guilt. It was all I could do not to yell at DH and take the baby, but I'm really grateful we used humor instead. Because neither reaction changes the outcome.
@lovethatcolosun hopefully things calm down with his driving! I would be ticked off too!!
ETA words
@HayesRN13 Excellent research project. This is an occasional phenomenon in our house.
@krystleshel @TheEA I also read these for the same reason! I skip this thread often, but find myself gravitating toward it when I'm irritated with DH. Usually by the time I catch up on the thread again I am thinking about how trivial the thing was that I was irritated with. DH has been more wonderful with LO than I imagined possible and it's not going to do us any good to knit pick one another.
Also would like to add that I'm not criticizing any rants! I think it's great to have a place like this to get our thoughts out and get support.
They apparently don't know what appropriate dinner conversation is also haha
Tonight we had a family dinner, a chicken dish I made turns out the chicken didn't cook fully (I don't believe this myth but I'm dumbfounded it wasn't fully cooked) so my husband tells my poor uncle and cousin (male) it must be because I got my period yesterday and it's a big one because it's the first post baby.
If the raw chicken doesn't kill them the shock on their faces might. I did explain to him in aus men generally aren't too comfortable talking about periods to which he replied "well that's stupid it's no different to snot" maybe darling, maybe but please don't give my uncle a heart attack
Me: Sweetie, people don't know what that means. Just say 3 months. Or three and a half months, if you want to get specific.
DH: But that's not how it works with babies.
Me: I know, but think about before we had a kid. We had no idea what these weeks meant.
DH: Fine. But he's 16 and a half weeks, and he's a lot different than when he was 15 weeks. Does he have to be 3 months for the whole month?!
I just really wanted to eat one meal today without a baby in my lap or downing my food while baby screams or standing up while bouncing a baby so he doesn't wake up and start screaming. It's just hard when DH is gone all afternoon and evening and then sleeps half the morning away. And I have just been feeling stressed at home lately which is why I'm sure he was trying to help me out, it was just not meeting my first need first. I guess this is a rave within a rant? I honestly don't even know if I am mad or happy with him right now...
I came home worried that two hours may have been a bit too long to be away. DH had fed LO and entertained him until he was ready to be put in the crib and made a successful transfer. No crying or fussing or other issues.
I often am frustrated with his lack of help due to a crazy work schedule but this was a major win on his part!
But, I won. And I'm going back to sleep now \:D/