@mvargas12 it sounds like he is really trying to make an effort! Right on! I'm really happy for you guys.
I have neither a rant nor a rave - more an 'I told you so'. DH had his first real taste of witching hours last night. First off, of course he misses half of the evenings being on duty. And the nights he is home there are two of us to split up duties so it doesn't seem so bad. And of course LO can be fussy but not too bad the nights DH is home. Well, last night after LOs bath it was time for me to get my shower. And I had just gotten in, it had been maybe 10 minutes since we finished with LOs bath and DH comes into the bathroom with a very heartily crying baby. 'What time did he eat?' I don't remember, its in the app. 'He won't let me get to my phone to check the app!' Well, I finished feeding him not too long before you came in from mowing the lawn. Then you got a shower then we gave him his bath. Maybe an hour and half? 'He won't stop crying!' :-?? 'I guess I'll try to feed him' OK...
Finish my shower to find a passed out baby and a harried looking hubs with a 4oz bottle of which only 1oz has been drank. 'He almost wouldn't take the bottle, he was so pissed' OK 'He finally took it after a while but then fell asleep while he was eating. Just passed out. He wouldn't wake even to burp' OK 'It really scared me. He was so upset and nothing was working and I didn't know what to do...' Welcome to witching hours, babe.
I have to rave. My husband is a state trooper, and I assume most of you know the problems going on right now with law enforcement. This is one of the hardest and scariest times as a family but he still does his best to make us feel safe. I love him.
My DH is a police officer as well. It is a very scary time for us. Add in a toddler and infant, and a new house, and things are stressful to say the least. He puts his life in danger every shift and he works nights in a tough town. I have to remind myself all of this if he is slacking in daddy duties or household chores. I gotta give him some slack. He rocks.
My DH is a corrections officer and works a second shift at the jail (he wants to move up to a sheriff's deputy which would definitely be more scary.) I recently attempted to return to work, but then my boss started to renig on my agreed upon hours. She basically told me that I was being a bad mom because I didn't want DH to wake my baby up from his nap and bring him to me at work so I could stay longer hours...like wtf??? When DH and I had a talk about what would work for our family he basically said he wanted me to just stay home with the baby because it's too hard for him to watch DS during the day. So I am now staying home with baby while DH goes to work and will pick up extra shifts so we don't need my income. That's my rave! My rant...LO is getting a tooth and is extra cranky. The other night was AWFUL!!! We were basically just alternating sleep all night. But it was completely unfair. I still had to get up for work in the morning and DH had the next day off. I asked if I could sleep for two hours at 4:45 in the morning, after having been up with LO since 1 am. DH reluctantly agrees. At 5:58 he comes in and says he is too tired to keep watching him. He claims it was 6 so I got two hours of sleep. I apparently need to teach DH how to tell time. Even if it was 6, the two minutes don't bother me that much, the missing 45 minutes do. I basically got 2.5/3 hours of broken sleep that entire night, went to work came home where DH was napping with LO and he asked to go take a nap because he was so exhausted from sleeping on the couch next to LO....seriously??? Sorry this was long. It really pissed me off!!
Today I learned DH and I have very different ideas about what "taking the baby and letting me sleep" means. It's kind of flabbergasting to hear that phrase could be open for interpretation...?!?!
Today I got to sleep in til 11:00 because DH took the baby and the changing pad out of the room at 7:00 am! He kept the baby til it was time to nurse, then LO fell back asleep in bed with me. It was sooooo nice!!!
Rave: yesterday I had family coming over to see our new house so I was cleaning like a mad woman and still trying to take care of the kiddos. DH got the meat in the crock pot in the morning for dinner without being asked. Then after everyone left I was going to make the side dishes for dinner since DH had gotten the other part done. After I fed LO I had him propped up in my lap and we were smiling and talking to each other. I didn't realize that while I was doing this DH was in the kitchen preparing the rest of the meal until he brought me a plate with everything on it! Since I normally make dinner this was awesome and so sweet of him, especially since he had just made dinner the night before too. Also, when my family was here, he stayed downstairs and visited with them he whole time! DH has a history of disappearing when family comes over (even his own family) and hiding in the bedroom. This time he visited the whole time and participated in conversation (my family is very loud and DH, having a hearing loss, speaks quietly so most of the time he gets talked over. It's normal to talk over each other in my family and after 7 years he's finally getting the hang of it haha). He scored major brownie points with me this weekend and he will be properly thanked :x
I have to rave. My husband is a state trooper, and I assume most of you know the problems going on right now with law enforcement. This is one of the hardest and scariest times as a family but he still does his best to make us feel safe. I love him.
Ugh I can't imagine this stress right now! We have a few family members in law enforcement but we live in Wisconsin so nothing has really happened here with that. Hopefully never does. They are calling us the "happy valley" because citizens are being more friendly towards them then ever. I hope this whole thing ends soon. Way too many deaths. It's so sad! Keeping your family in my thoughts too
I have to rave. My husband is a state trooper, and I assume most of you know the problems going on right now with law enforcement. This is one of the hardest and scariest times as a family but he still does his best to make us feel safe. I love him.
My DH is a police officer as well. It is a very scary time for us. Add in a toddler and infant, and a new house, and things are stressful to say the least. He puts his life in danger every shift and he works nights in a tough town. I have to remind myself all of this if he is slacking in daddy duties or household chores. I gotta give him some slack. He rocks.
Do we live the same life?? Haha! Toddler, newborn and new house. Crazy! I'll keep your husband and your family in my prayers!
Hate to be a Debbie downer here but this happened this morning. My DH was in a terrible mood and just huffing and puffing about the house. I asked him what I could do to make it better and he said, "not have a baby". I don't know how I'm supposed to take that. Our DS is 10wo and yeah, doesn't sttn but does sleep 4 hr stretches sometimes. I don't know what to do. He won't talk about it. He just gets angrier and enraged.
Hate to be a Debbie downer here but this happened this morning. My DH was in a terrible mood and just huffing and puffing about the house. I asked him what I could do to make it better and he said, "not have a baby". I don't know how I'm supposed to take that. Our DS is 10wo and yeah, doesn't sttn but does sleep 4 hr stretches sometimes. I don't know what to do. He won't talk about it. He just gets angrier and enraged.
I know it was harsh of him to say and not what you want to hear, but I think it's pretty normal. And at least he was honest with you. When either DH or I are starting to lose our cool, that's when the other steps up to give each other a break. Keep trying to talk but don't make him feel bad; this stage is hard. It will get better, LO will sleep more and develop a personality. It took about 4 mo before DH had really bonded with DS and only recently has he really started bonding with LO. So he's not alone and it doesn't mean he's a bad dad. Just keep talking to each other. Good luck, I hope things get better!
Mini rant: this is my last week off before I go back to work next Monday. DD managed to get a pretty nasty cold at my grandfathers funeral two weeks ago. DH claims he caught his cold from her, which he has done many times in the past when he really hasn't. He took today off because he said he felt sick. He has been fine all day. He took the dog for a walk, hung some shelves in the basement and basically just hung out all day. Earlier in the night while we were getting dinner ready he started "coughing" and said he can't stand being sick, etc. I called him out on the bs and said he's not really sick and I expect him to go to work tomorrow. He said already that he's going to stay home tomorrow. I'm pretty upset because I only have a few days left of being with my kiddos all day and we have a nice daytime routine that he's basically infringing on. If he was actually sick I wouldn't mind but since he isn't sick I feel upset that he's taking away this time with just me and my kids. I know I should be happy that we're spending family time together but since I only have a few days left at home I'm not happy about it. ETA I just re-read this and realized how many times I said "I only have a few days left"-can you tell how much I don't want to go back to work and how much I'm dreading going back and not getting to spend all day with my little loves?
I really feel like DH and i are just roommates. We don't kiss or hug at all unless we're going to bed. And he's been sleeping on the couch because this damn one bedroom duplex is getting to cramped for us all. We rarely talk when we're home together. The TV is always on. We disagree about things with LO and tonight i suggested we go for a walk now nightly and all he did the whole time was complain about how his legs hurt. You know what dude I'm exhausted. I'm tired because I had 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep because you don't help out at all at night with Lo and I was just in school for 9 hours. I'm just so sick of him. Idk if i want to do this anymore. My mom is more helpful and supportive then him. He used to be so amazing and sweet and spoiled me. Now he's a waste of space in this place
SO is in the dog house majorly right now. He went to a shooting class tonight from 7-10, when he got home at 10:30 he decided he needed to go back out to get something to eat. I get woken at 2:45am to our burglar alarm going off, yep he sure as heck set it off. Going to get something to eat is apparently code word for going out to get shitfaced. This lady is not happy. I normally don't rant or rave... But I needed to get this off my chest. I am fuming. He is so lucky we have a great sleeper and thankfully the baby slept through this commotion. If he hadn't, someone may have been murdered. I started back at work this week and I do drop off and pick up. Sleep is too precious for these bullshit antics. Ugh. Now I'm finding it difficult to go back to sleep.
@katyertl I am so sorry, I would be pissed. That's extremely annoying and selfish. DH wants the tv on all the time, too. He usually also has his phone in his hand. It infuriates me.
@swiebe ummmmm.....that's not ok at all, I would have strangled him even if he didn't wake the baby. Hell, I wouldn't deal with that even if there wasn't a baby. Selfish and dishonest is not ok!
I was going to rave about DH finishing LOs last feeding last night and then putting him down for bed so I was able to retire about 20 minutes earlier than he started trying to get LO to bed (and with this leap LO is in, getting him to bed is not easy. Its not REALLY hard, but its not easy, either). It took him 3 tries to get LO to sleep. I wasn't sleeping, either, but I was in that half state of awake / aware but not really paying attention / trying to ignore and fall asleep despite what was going on. So I was going to rave about him doing this so I could lay down and start to try to get my sleep on. Then I realized, he wasn't doing me a favor. He was effing parenting. It just felt like a favor because I'm the one that has to do it 85% of the time by myself because of his work schedule. So, no. No rave. You're just doing your job, dude. You don't get a pat on the back for feeding your kid and putting him to bed. I do it 5 or 6 days out of 7, so don't think you went above and beyond. You haven't even come close to redressing the balance of duties, here.
Which is why it pissed me off SO much when this morning when over the course of the past 4 hours he has gotten 3 extra hours of sleep (this on top of LO sleeping from say, 1030pm to 545am) while I have gotten maybe 40 minutes in the past 6. Dude. You slept while I breastfed when baby woke up at 545am. You woke up but stayed in bed while I went and made LOs bottle 40 minutes later. We both stayed up for about 45 minutes after LO ate cause he was talking at us, but before baby even started to get cranky for post meal nap DH had laid back down and closed his eyes. So it was up to me to calm cranky baby and get cranky sleepy baby to sleep. I made DH move him back to his pnp so I could get comfortable, but LO doesn't like to nap in his pnp so he was back awake within the hour, fussing, half crying, unhappy (during that hour DH was fast asleep, while I spent a half hour trying to fall asleep). DH doesn't stir. Its on me to get kid back out of pnp and cuddle / soothe. Kid falls back asleep for a cuddle nap. I try to get comfortable holding him so I can nap. I get maybe 30 minutes more sleep before LO wakes up again, its time to feed him again. DH wakes but sits looking at his phone while I'm essentially trapped under crying baby. Dude. Take this baby so I can sit up and start feeding him. Lots of groans because he did a PT test yesterday and he's sore, and all I can think of is - you have basically just slept for 10 out of 11 hours! Maybe 9 if you account for being awoken but not moving and falling back asleep. Shut the eff up.
Granted, its not his fault I woke up at 4am to pee and couldn't fall back asleep cause I kept anticipating LO to wake up, and LO didn't wake for almost another 2 hours. Its not his fault I couldn't fall back asleep then, or that it takes me at least a half hour each and every time to fall asleep, so those naps LO took for an hour in the pnp and an hour in my arms equaled only 40 min of sleep for me, total. Its not his fault I have problems falling asleep. But dude, you KNOW THIS about me. So logically you are aware that while you slept 10 hours from bedtime last night to now, I slept 6. And that when you aren't home I sleep the same way except I don't have anyone to put the kid to bed the night before like last night.
So spare me your grumbles and do your job. Suck it up.
How easily my thinking about a possible rave turns into a rant
@klkonwi does he travel for work or just to travel? If it's work related and he can't help it I understand, but if he's just doing it for shits and giggles I'd be finding a way to stop that.
I understand he has to travel to make the money..... it just seems like I'm incapable of running a household without him......... Sounds stupid but laundry piles up.... Can't get anything done... And being sick does not help! I'm more frustrated with how I can't handle it and kind of feel like a failure.
@klkonwi chin up mama...I'm so sorry he's gone. It's frustrating to see the housework pile up but have no energy or time to do it. Not to mention you're working. You have a lot on your plate, and you're doing such a great job. Keep snuggling LO and let the dishes and laundry pile up, they'll always be there
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
^^^ this! I find that as soon as I feel good about accomplishing something related to cleaning or laundry, it's time to do it all over again anyway. My MIL always reminds me that when the kiddos grow up, they won't remember whether the house was clean or not, but they will remember it being filled with love and laughter!
@klkonwi gotcha. DH works for the power company and gets unexpectedly called out of town a good bit with no warning and doesn't know how long. I know it's necessary, but it doesn't make me feel any better when I want or need him there
@klkonwi chin up mama...I'm so sorry he's gone. It's frustrating to see the housework pile up but have no energy or time to do it. Not to mention you're working. You have a lot on your plate, and you're doing such a great job. Keep snuggling LO and let the dishes and laundry pile up, they'll always be there
Yup, this. The days that DH is gone (which you guys know by now is pretty frequently) nothing on my agenda except feeding LO, feeding myself, and getting both of us some sleep. Bonus if we manage to be in a good mood together (usually as long as he is in a good mood, so am I). Laundry? Don't care. Dishes? Rinsed haphazardly and put into the dishwasher, or if that is full, next to the sink. After 3 days it can begin to look like Mount Dishmore, but since they've been rinsed its mostly just cosmetic. We make it a point to clean the kitchen (hopefully together while LO naps in the afternoon, but if not one of us cleans it while the other deals with cranky baby) the day before he goes to work, load and run the dishwasher, and hopefully empty it so its ready and waiting for me to just put stuff into as I go along.
Point being - when he isn't home the only thing I concentrate on is me and my kid. Sometimes if LO is being good and I get the urge to do some housework I will. But even if he is being good, and I DON'T have the urge to do housework, I won't. I'll read or watch TV or surf the net or nap. Personal downtime to rest your brain is more important than laundry, IMO (this is me assuming you can wash all your scrubs for work in one load and thus could accomplish laundry while your DH is home)
I understand he has to travel to make the money..... it just seems like I'm incapable of running a household without him......... Sounds stupid but laundry piles up.... Can't get anything done... And being sick does not help! I'm more frustrated with how I can't handle it and kind of feel like a failure.
I used to love when DH traveled because I had the house to myself and could be obnoxious when he would usually be sleeping. Now I hate it when he travels. I can totally relate to feeling like a failure for not switching the laundry and having to rewash the same load 3 times. The good news is that once LO is older and on a real schedule, you'll have more time to get chores done. This phase doesn't last, so don't be too hard on yourself.
I hate scary movies. When I was 13, I loved them and watched a million despite my mom telling me not to. Now I wish I had listened to her because I'm afraid of everything. I haven't watched a scary movie in a very long time but yesterday I thought I'd be spontaneous with my husband and we watched "unfriended". Today I am totally freaked out. Taking a shower was a nightmare, I was afraid to close my eyes when I washed my face. All those movies when I was younger screwed me up.
Anyway!! I asked DH to brush his teeth with me so I wouldn't have to be in the bathroom by myself and you know what he did? He shut the light off and started to close the door. I jumped out right in time but I started crying and I couldn't breath and he laughed. I don't know why it happens. It's a joke to him. It's very real to me me.
@dancegurl1118 Wendy's over hammered. Everytime. Good call I would be ecstatic!
I would kill for any food that isn't the BRAT diet......... I have until 6 pm today still on it. I'm starving and reaaaally hoping my milk supply doesn't tank. It's really not enough calories.
Hang in there, ladies. These are stressful times for a marriage.
I have to agree with @virginiaunicorn11.... bringing baby home is stressful on a relationship. DH and I had it OUT about 4 months after we brought our daughter home in 2013... We ended up making a charts of household stuff that needed to get done and baby stuff that needed to get done and assigning them. It helped us stop fighting over chores and kid responsibilities.
We also just had it out (LO is 14 weeks) because DH has this long list of crap he feels is a priority and I need an hour to myself to, I don't know - pee alone! We had to make a list again on what was critical and what could wait and what we could hire out. I have a cleaning lady now and we're having a handy man do some projects around the house so I can decompress and DH has time freed up to man the kids.
If I can offer one piece of advice... KEEP TALKING. Even if you feel like you are over-communicating... keep at it. It gets easier! I promise.
@ksimo6 Great advice! We definitely had issues with DS until we divided responsibilities up. For LO, we were much better prepared for our relationship which was good since we had a rough go the first 8-9 weeks. Talking is key. Even if it's to vent, it's good to let DH know when I'm stressed.
Ohhhh man, is talking key. Don't hate me, but I think you know by now that DH and I are both home with LO. And even with two full-time parents 24/7, it's amazing how much there is to do and to fight about! We don't even differ on parenting styles or argue about how to care for LO. It's just every.thing.else.
We have had a few big blow ups, and a few "come to Jesus" talks. It's amazing how much we have to talk to be sure we are on the same page. It never used to be like that. And we have learned we cannot take the slightest thing for granted - both in terms of assumptions ("I thought you'd know the dishes were dirty since there are strawberry stains on them" - nope! Sleep deprived people don't see that, apparently.), and also each other (at one point I stopped thanking him because he wasn't thanking me - it just made us BOTH feel unappreciated. After a yelling match, we are both generous with the thank yous).
A final thing that has become really important for us is to ~assume the other person is doing their best and has the family's best interest in mind and at heart~. This giving each other the benefit of the doubt has been key in stopping the fighting. (Eg, now I assume DH needs some time to himself when he takes unnecessarily long in the bathroom, rather than deciding he's trying to stick me with the kid and his dirty diaper. That's his recharge time that he knows he needs to stay in a good mood.)
Anyway, all this to say, even the strongest relationships and best of circumstances are seriously challenged with a newborn. I never thought this would be us, but fortunately it seems to be getting better.
I really like your 'assume that the other person has the best interests of your family in mind'. It's so true. When you criticize the other person they directly assume you think they aren't doing/trying their best and are criticizing their character. When really........... You just want some freakin stuff done !!!! Get it done! Lol
My d/h has been so awesome to watch become a dad! He had never held a baby before, nor did he ever have any desire for any babies until I became pregnant. Now he is superdad! He kept telling l/o he was jealous of her pj's so last night as I was getting her ready for bed he came out wearing his one piece superman pj's complete with a cape to join her. It was adorable.
Also, d/h travels a lot for work and always sends her postcards with little nonsense messages. My heart bursts every time we get one in the mail. I read them to her and let her look at the pics before I put them in a special box. I hope to make them into a book someday when she's older. Love that man! :x
I have a rave. After trying for over an hour to put LO back to sleep after a 430-530am feeding (I hate that timed feeding, btw) and LO had been asleep for a few minutes and woke up 100% when I blew my nose!!! Seriously, can anyone silently blow their nose? Anyway, I had just crawled into bed when the baby woke up again, and DH had just gotten up to go to work. As I'm cringing into my pillow that baby has woke up (again), he comes around the bed and picks up LO and him takes him to exercise ball and starts bouncing him. I was like 'you're gonna be late' and he says 'I'll just try for a few minutes' and 5 minutes later LO was back asleep and DH executed a flawless transfer back to the pnp. Gives me a smile and a kiss and whispers 'and I won't even be late' and leaves. It would have totally been fine for him to just leave for work - his baby duty technically ends when we go to bed the night before he starts back at work - but he took that few minutes to try to help me.
Rant. After getting home on Friday DH was really crabby and understandable being gone for 3 nights and work is hard..... Blah blah. Well tonight we paid our first 16 yr old babysitter (his cousin ) ... And he is literally the crabbiest lamest person at the party and kept bugging me to leave ....... Then he pays the babysitter 60 dollars!!!!!!! Really...... Your going to pay her 60 dollars / we didn't even stay until we told her we would / kids been sleeping since 830 / and you completely ruined my fun tonight by being a crab...... Awesome. Ugh. Not worth the 60 dollars. Guess what dude ...I was alone with a baby all week and I'm crabby too but if I have a babysitter I'm going to at least have fun !
We arrived home at 1200 exactly. Just for reference. I'm so pissed I stayed up watching my DVR shows and having a glass of wine and yes I'm waking him up for the motn feedings
Re: DH / SO rants or raves - Month of September
I have neither a rant nor a rave - more an 'I told you so'. DH had his first real taste of witching hours last night. First off, of course he misses half of the evenings being on duty. And the nights he is home there are two of us to split up duties so it doesn't seem so bad. And of course LO can be fussy but not too bad the nights DH is home. Well, last night after LOs bath it was time for me to get my shower. And I had just gotten in, it had been maybe 10 minutes since we finished with LOs bath and DH comes into the bathroom with a very heartily crying baby.
'What time did he eat?'
I don't remember, its in the app.
'He won't let me get to my phone to check the app!'
Well, I finished feeding him not too long before you came in from mowing the lawn. Then you got a shower then we gave him his bath. Maybe an hour and half?
'He won't stop crying!'
:-??
'I guess I'll try to feed him'
OK...
Finish my shower to find a passed out baby and a harried looking hubs with a 4oz bottle of which only 1oz has been drank.
'He almost wouldn't take the bottle, he was so pissed'
OK
'He finally took it after a while but then fell asleep while he was eating. Just passed out. He wouldn't wake even to burp'
OK
'It really scared me. He was so upset and nothing was working and I didn't know what to do...'
Welcome to witching hours, babe.
My rant...LO is getting a tooth and is extra cranky. The other night was AWFUL!!! We were basically just alternating sleep all night. But it was completely unfair. I still had to get up for work in the morning and DH had the next day off. I asked if I could sleep for two hours at 4:45 in the morning, after having been up with LO since 1 am. DH reluctantly agrees. At 5:58 he comes in and says he is too tired to keep watching him. He claims it was 6 so I got two hours of sleep. I apparently need to teach DH how to tell time. Even if it was 6, the two minutes don't bother me that much, the missing 45 minutes do. I basically got 2.5/3 hours of broken sleep that entire night, went to work came home where DH was napping with LO and he asked to go take a nap because he was so exhausted from sleeping on the couch next to LO....seriously???
Sorry this was long. It really pissed me off!!
DH promptly got some action at 11:03.
:x :x :x
Do we live the same life?? Haha! Toddler, newborn and new house. Crazy! I'll keep your husband and your family in my prayers!
I get home, and he remarks "not being able to stay late is going to be bad for my career, I'm a bit concerned."
OH HAVING A BABY IS BAD FOR YOUR CAREER? DO GO ON!
I'm not mad, just found it deeply ironic of a statement.
I'm just so sick of him. Idk if i want to do this anymore. My mom is more helpful and supportive then him. He used to be so amazing and sweet and spoiled me. Now he's a waste of space in this place
And.... Lo's room is basically above the garage!!!
@swiebe ummmmm.....that's not ok at all, I would have strangled him even if he didn't wake the baby. Hell, I wouldn't deal with that even if there wasn't a baby. Selfish and dishonest is not ok!
Which is why it pissed me off SO much when this morning when over the course of the past 4 hours he has gotten 3 extra hours of sleep (this on top of LO sleeping from say, 1030pm to 545am) while I have gotten maybe 40 minutes in the past 6. Dude. You slept while I breastfed when baby woke up at 545am. You woke up but stayed in bed while I went and made LOs bottle 40 minutes later. We both stayed up for about 45 minutes after LO ate cause he was talking at us, but before baby even started to get cranky for post meal nap DH had laid back down and closed his eyes. So it was up to me to calm cranky baby and get cranky sleepy baby to sleep. I made DH move him back to his pnp so I could get comfortable, but LO doesn't like to nap in his pnp so he was back awake within the hour, fussing, half crying, unhappy (during that hour DH was fast asleep, while I spent a half hour trying to fall asleep). DH doesn't stir. Its on me to get kid back out of pnp and cuddle / soothe. Kid falls back asleep for a cuddle nap. I try to get comfortable holding him so I can nap. I get maybe 30 minutes more sleep before LO wakes up again, its time to feed him again. DH wakes but sits looking at his phone while I'm essentially trapped under crying baby. Dude. Take this baby so I can sit up and start feeding him. Lots of groans because he did a PT test yesterday and he's sore, and all I can think of is - you have basically just slept for 10 out of 11 hours! Maybe 9 if you account for being awoken but not moving and falling back asleep. Shut the eff up.
Granted, its not his fault I woke up at 4am to pee and couldn't fall back asleep cause I kept anticipating LO to wake up, and LO didn't wake for almost another 2 hours. Its not his fault I couldn't fall back asleep then, or that it takes me at least a half hour each and every time to fall asleep, so those naps LO took for an hour in the pnp and an hour in my arms equaled only 40 min of sleep for me, total. Its not his fault I have problems falling asleep. But dude, you KNOW THIS about me. So logically you are aware that while you slept 10 hours from bedtime last night to now, I slept 6. And that when you aren't home I sleep the same way except I don't have anyone to put the kid to bed the night before like last night.
So spare me your grumbles and do your job. Suck it up.
How easily my thinking about a possible rave turns into a rant
Today I had my first big O from sex in a VERY long time. So I'm all rave and hope today. I will rant again tomorrow.
I'm more frustrated with how I can't handle it and kind of feel like a failure.
Point being - when he isn't home the only thing I concentrate on is me and my kid. Sometimes if LO is being good and I get the urge to do some housework I will. But even if he is being good, and I DON'T have the urge to do housework, I won't. I'll read or watch TV or surf the net or nap. Personal downtime to rest your brain is more important than laundry, IMO (this is me assuming you can wash all your scrubs for work in one load and thus could accomplish laundry while your DH is home)
Anyway!! I asked DH to brush his teeth with me so I wouldn't have to be in the bathroom by myself and you know what he did? He shut the light off and started to close the door. I jumped out right in time but I started crying and I couldn't breath and he laughed. I don't know why it happens. It's a joke to him. It's very real to me me.
Wendy's over hammered. Everytime. Good call
I would kill for any food that isn't the BRAT diet......... I have until 6 pm today still on it. I'm starving and reaaaally hoping my milk supply doesn't tank. It's really not enough calories.
We have had a few big blow ups, and a few "come to Jesus" talks. It's amazing how much we have to talk to be sure we are on the same page. It never used to be like that. And we have learned we cannot take the slightest thing for granted - both in terms of assumptions ("I thought you'd know the dishes were dirty since there are strawberry stains on them" - nope! Sleep deprived people don't see that, apparently.), and also each other (at one point I stopped thanking him because he wasn't thanking me - it just made us BOTH feel unappreciated. After a yelling match, we are both generous with the thank yous).
A final thing that has become really important for us is to ~assume the other person is doing their best and has the family's best interest in mind and at heart~. This giving each other the benefit of the doubt has been key in stopping the fighting. (Eg, now I assume DH needs some time to himself when he takes unnecessarily long in the bathroom, rather than deciding he's trying to stick me with the kid and his dirty diaper. That's his recharge time that he knows he needs to stay in a good mood.)
Anyway, all this to say, even the strongest relationships and best of circumstances are seriously challenged with a newborn. I never thought this would be us, but fortunately it seems to be getting better.
Also, d/h travels a lot for work and always sends her postcards with little nonsense messages. My heart bursts every time we get one in the mail. I read them to her and let her look at the pics before I put them in a special box. I hope to make them into a book someday when she's older. Love that man! :x
After getting home on Friday DH was really crabby and understandable being gone for 3 nights and work is hard.....
Blah blah. Well tonight we paid our first 16 yr old babysitter (his cousin ) ... And he is literally the crabbiest lamest person at the party and kept bugging me to leave .......
Then he pays the babysitter 60 dollars!!!!!!!
Really...... Your going to pay her 60 dollars / we didn't even stay until we told her we would / kids been sleeping since 830 / and you completely ruined my fun tonight by being a crab......
Awesome.
Ugh.
Not worth the 60 dollars. Guess what dude ...I was alone with a baby all week and I'm crabby too but if I have a babysitter I'm going to at least have fun !